Today is Great Inordination Day. The Multimillionaire White African King is at last officially the world’s one true supreme ruler. He shall rule us with a gentle hand. He shall provide us the awaited free petrol at the same time that he cooleth the planet (temperatures in America have already plummeted to record lows at the mere thought of his coming). He shall never tell us lies about his origins. He shall never make us think we live in Hollywood. He shall tenderly mould us all in his own image to make us worthy of his dominion. We are saved.