Spain 1, Holland 0

The World Cup final was a game made boring by the referee and watched by communist polygamist Jacob Zuma who has more children than there were people in the stadium. In fact, a recent census revealed that most people in South Africa are either married to Zuma or were fathered by him. For most of the match he looked like a man wondering why the players were kicking a ball around on the pitch instead of throwing spears at each other. He was also probably wondering if the “10 cattle” he paid for Swazi Princess Sebentile Dlamini in 2002 might have been a few cattle too many. Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma, such a modern leader.

The Arab in the photograph can be seen asking Zuma how many humans he’s prepared to pay him for his cow of a wife.