Would-be multimillionaire Boredom Brown is meeting the Multimillionaire White African King today. Brown is greasing the wheels by giving the African King’s friend Ted Kennedy a knighthood. Ted Kennedy once went to a party with three other married men and five young women. He got very drunk and drove his car off a bridge and into eight feet of water on the way home. He managed to get out of the car leaving his woman passenger behind. Instead of calling the police, he returned to the party and brought two other men to the scene of the accident. When they were unable to rescue the girl, he told the others he would call the police. He did not. Instead, he returned to his motel, began making telephone calls to associates and went to sleep. Next day, he told a pack of lies to the police.
A grand jury investigated, but the results were already decided. Senator Kennedy didn’t want the girl’s body exhumed for an autopsy. Fortunately for him, neither did the judge responsible for making the decision. Described as a “party-line Democrat of limited judicial gifts”, the judge maintained a bust of President Kennedy on display in his chambers.
