International pirate milking scam

The legal profession is at last setting up an International Pirate Milking Court. The initiative is being headed by the Multimillionaire White African President himself (who took 2.8 million dollars off the poor and stupid on book sales alone, last year). The opportunity to earn big money from drawn out proceedings against teenage lowlife delinquents who everybody in the world knows are guilty (because they are caught in the act in canoes with machineguns 500 miles offshore) was just too promising to miss. One bullet per unpleasant thug might be the preferred option of the taxpayer, but who would that keep in clover for goodness’ sake?