Whodunit?

A British soldier has been found shot in Afghastlystan in suspicious circumstances. Murder most foul being suspected, Frit was requested to look into the matter (some rooted for Hercule Poirot, but he’s Belgian). It took Frit not very long to establish that the background to the incident is that the international Left long ago embarked upon a quest to denigrate the western military and make every Afghastlystani into a victim. One of its tools, the New York Times, sent, in turn, one of its own tools, a shameful fool nicknamed “Robohack”, to dig up the dirty on the military. Being a shameful fool, Robohack strayed where constantly advised not to stray and was nabbed by the Taliban (Taliban = Thick Autistic Loathsome Inbred Boring Afghastlystani Nerds). Another shameful fool, unelected one-eyed British Prime Minister Boredom Brown, then risked the necks of British soldiers to save the neck of Robohack, which resulted in the death of one soldier.

In Frit’s view, if journalists take wrong turnings in the most dangerous places on earth, nobody else should have to pay the price of saving them from the consequences of their own ambitions and follies. So Frit’s painstaking investigation concludes that the Taliban, the New York Times, shameful fool Robohack and shameful fool one-eyed Boredom Brown all pulled the trigger together. They should be charged and condemned to be stared at by Margaret Rutherford in a very knowing way for the rest of time.