Waiter there’s a fly in my soup

Frit, who is in telepathic contact across the great divide with the ghost of the fly that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President killed on TV not so long ago, has been informed firsthand by this said ghost of a fly that what the Koran has to say about flies, i.e. that if a housefly falls into a person’s drink, that person should properly immerse the fly in the drink because one of the fly’s wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease, is a load of old rubbish. It’s simply not true. Hardly surprising when one learns from ancient tomes only recently discovered in a hitherto buried temple in in a desert somewhere that the word Koran, the name of the book revealed to Mohammed by the angel Jibril over a period of approximately twenty-three years (beginning in 610 CE, when he was forty, and concluding in 632 CE, the year of his death), is short for Kooky Odious Retarded Arrant Nonsense. (Jibril is apparently short for Jalapenos In Beer-Roasted Iranian Lentils.) Is it true that the Koran has been banned in Kazakhstan?