Ashoura

A Mussulmanic tried to spoil Christmas for the infidel by blowing up an airliner but succeeded only in blowing up his own testicles. Expert experienced investigative journalists working for the mainstream media all over the world discovered his name and nationality fairly quickly but have thus far failed to discover either his religion or his motive. They did discover that, although his father is one of the richest men in Nigeria, he is without funds and the American taxpayer must pick up those upcoming huge legal bills. They discovered this but are unlikely to make much of it because, as we all know, money is unimportant.

Meanwhile, a Mussulmanic cleric who recently attempted to grab the title of “Most Stupid Mussulmanic in the World” by claiming that Darwin developed the theory of evolution to tar us all with the same brush and gloss over the fact that Jews alone are descended from pigs and monkeys, fell short of his goal when Ashoura commenced (ceremony in which you beat yourself till you bleed or beat your child till it bleeds) and everyone realized there are countless millions of other Mussulmanics far more stupid than he.