Mohamed Atta was a pansy

Surely all who chance to see the glorification video made by Mohamed Atta and one of the other bright sparks who destroyed the World Trade Centre, slaughtering all within, must know they are looking at two lonely boys wanting nothing other than to get their hands inside each other’s pants. Unable to deal with this, being the products of societies where such acts are punishable by death, they went out and did something they thought really manly instead.

There appear to be two alternative spellings for the terrorist organisation that represents their religion: ‘Al-Qaeda’, which is short for Arabs Like Queers And Eat Dead Animals, and ‘Al-Kaida’, which is short for Arabs Love Killing Any Infidel Dumb Ass.

Slick essence

How nice of the Multimillionaire White African King to inform us that Guantanamo inmates “may be dangerous, in which case we can't release them”. How nice of him to kindly explain that deciding how to deal with them is going to be one of the “biggest problems” with closing Guantanamo. "It's a messy situation. It's not easy," he kindly informs us. Really? Really? We thought it was a straightforward situation. We thought it was easy. We really did. We thought it was only difficult for George Bush, who said “I'd like to close Guantanamo, but I also recognize that we're holding some people there that are darn dangerous”. But then George Bush is just a fool, of course. Around a year ago, for example, the Multimillionaire White African King told gullible and young voters that the Guantanamo issue is about “the essence of who we are”, whereas George Bush could only manage “No question, Guantanamo sends a signal to some of our friends — provides an excuse, for example, to say the United States is not upholding the values that they're trying to encourage other countries to adhere to”.

In essence, the difference between Democrats and Republicans is very evident in the statements “may be dangerous” and “are darn dangerous”. Democrats are so much more conditional and polite, aren’t they. That’s what makes them so likeable.

Legal profession guilty of bringing down civilisation

Three British judges have ruled that British soldiers are “covered by the right to life”. Soldiers should receive the full protection of the Human Rights Act even when they are on the battlefield, they say. Judges in other countries are sure to follow suit. This means that every family of a dead soldier is going to go to court to obtain compensation (money). This means it is no longer possible to run an army, to fight a war, i.e. the end of civilisation’s ability to defend itself. Democracy is now set for its inevitable downfall due to its fatal inbuilt flaw, i.e. equal voting rights given to the gullible, the young, the greedy, the hapless and other groups whose shortcomings leave them vulnerable to the manipulations of the leftist professional classes, ever eager to sink their teeth into as much money, power and prestige as a constant show of sham self-righteousness can bring in. Judges are typical and representative of this class, and perhaps its most insidious element.

Of course, anyone knows that, were the law written in stone, computers could dispense justice and we would need no judges. The fact that it is not written in stone means that it is always a matter of the interpretation, opinion and prejudice of the judge. So whenever judges excuse their destructive decisions on the basis that “the law is the law”, they are always telling a whopping lie for their own career prospects and their own financial gain. Stuff civilisation!

Hectomillionaire lands big UN job

The UN is once more handing out jobs to its own. This time hectomillionaire Bill Clinton is to be UN Special Envoy to Haiti. Frit thought Donald Rumsfeld might be given that job. Bill says he’s delighted. Apparently, no direct salary is paid to special envoys. All the money, power and prestige accumulate indirectly. The Haitians themselves are probably not so delighted as they already have sufficient numbers of crooks around to diddle their junior staff and sweet-talk their way out of it. They also have sufficient numbers of aids cases already.

In the picture, two Haitians can be seen in voodoo garb, casting a spell to keep Bill’s hands out of their purses and their pants.

Thank God for interreligious dialogue

The German federal state of Hessen is trying to award the Hessian Culture Prize for Interreligious Dialogue to those deemed to have been doing really good work in that field. Two Christians were chosen, a Jew was chosen and an individual representing that other religion that is really beginning to get so much on everybody’s nerves was chosen. But the individual representing the religion that is really beginning to get so much on everybody’s nerves, and who has done such wonders for interreligious dialogue over the years, apparently, declined to accept the prize as it would have meant him having to share a podium with a Jew! Another individual representing that same religion was then chosen, but the two Christians then protested on grounds that this individual has been known to utter negative statements concerning the symbol of the cross. So nobody representing the religion that is really beginning to get so much on everybody’s nerves is receiving one of the prizes this year. Hey ho . . .

Papal Palestinian Pandering Pilgrimage

The pope, the biggest little catholic alive, has been seen wearing a Keffiyah that really didn’t go with the particular model of burka he had on at the time. Also, Keffiyah is an ancient Methodist word derived from Keffi, meaning “scarf”, and Yah, meaning “I’ll cut off your f!!k!!g head if you don’t submit to Methodist supremacy and wear one of these scarves you infidel rotter”. So this choice of fashion accessory appears inappropriate. He must say three Hail Maries, pirouette a couple of times and pray for forgiveness from his predecessor, Pope John Pole, the all-time greatest Pope ever, who indecently suffered for us all so much on camera that we couldn’t wait to see the back of him.

The picture shows the diminutive pope, in his new Keffiyah, riding off to Jerusalem on his recent crusade.

Government of Myanmar arrests most selfless woman alive

This week, saintly Nobel Laureate and heavyweight liberal media money-spinner Aung San Suu Kyi Who Mostly Stays At Home For Tea will be dining elsewhere.

In this recent portrait, the saint in question is depicted wearing some of her many spare haloes stacked up round her neck for convenient storage.

Feminist movement picky about where to apply muscle

Frit notes that, in Sweden, it is now okay for adherents of a certain religion to abort female foetuses at will. So where is the outcry from the feminist movement? Over at the UN Women’s Watch site, for instance, the mighty United Nations Inter-Agency Network on Women and Gender Equality has a very great deal to say about “incorporating gender equality issues into urban development policies”, and about “women’s voices being raised by the Global Gender Climate Alliance at the climate talks in Bonn”, and about many similarly weighty issues, but has not a word to say about killing the women of the future, in Europe, for reasons of sheer prejudice and financial gain. Almost makes you think that people at the United Nations Inter-Agency Network on Women and Gender Equality are just in it for the money, power and prestige.

Dog eats dog

Is there anything more revolting than watching dog eating dog on TV? It happened in the UK, when one of the dogs who rule over us bit one of the bitches that rule over us and feed us the news as she quizzed him on the current MPs' expenses fiddling scandal, asking her how much licence fee money she pockets for her important work. He demanded “freedom of information”. “92,000 pounds”, she admitted, without shame. That is more than the 64,766 pounds paid to MPs, the dog replied, skilfully not mentioning the much larger sums paid to Fiddler in Chief Boredom Brown and his gang of expert fiddling cabinet ministers. “I don't even make a personal phone call from the BBC, as I understand what public sector money is about”, the bitch shamefully then lied.

Yes, good to see dog eating dog in this way, but it is a rare event. Both live from each other and they know it. As Frit has often pointed out in previous posts, he believes it the primary duty of every right-leaning person to ask each and every left-leaning person to show us their bank statements every time they open their mouths in public. It is the only way they can be exposed. It is the only way they can be stopped. There is no shame in earning money, there is only shame in earning money from preaching to the gullible and the young that there's shame in earning it.

Dog can be seen eating dog at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6AnZLm2Zvg

The religion of science

After reading that, in Britain, a Methodist chef is claiming big money from the British taxpayer on grounds that his employer wanted him to handle pork (because he’s a chef) and handling pork is against his religion, and after reading that the Halal Food Authority, no less, states that "An animal should not be dead prior to slaughter", Frit is heading for Saudi Arabia. The intention is to seek employment in an abattoir and sue the pants off anybody who expects him not to kill anything that’s already dead, on grounds of this being against Frit’s religion, i.e. making sense. The Saudi taxpayer can jolly well cough up.

But reading further down the Halal Food Authority’s page this plan goes awry as it seems that slaughtering may only be carried out by an actual proper Methodist. Non-Methodists are simply unfit for it, although they are kindly allowed to perform downstream abattoir tasks such as skinning and gutting, packaging, transporting and so forth. Nothing racist about that. The Halal Food Authority also tells Frit that Methodism "Is a religion of science, a science which without laboratory testing gave us a covenant that blood is not allowed to be consumed and its raw form could be a hazard and an imperilment to human health. Centuries later, we have the affirmation from Mister Scientist that it is harmful for humankind!" They are so damned scientific. So many light-years ahead of us. So damned smart!

Mandatory Volunteerism

In a recent post concerning the subject of slavery, Frit noted that the present incumbent of the White House might well be ironically instrumental in reintroducing it. Nowadays it’s called “mandatory volunteerism”. The difference between mandatory volunteerism and old style American slavery is that, under mandatory volunteerism, whites and blacks both get to pick the cotton for nothing side by side. Then, in the evenings, both get to serve together in the Ku Klux Klan.

Saintly and selfless people on the fiddle

Unelected Prime Minister of Britain Boredom Brown and his team of British labour government spongers have lately been caught fiddling their expenses to such good effect that their poll ratings have hit bottom and it looks very much like we shall see the back of them soon. Irish lefty terrorists Adams and McGuiness are embroiled in it in a big way, too, and Palestinian passport holder hero George Galloway has been revealed as the biggest fiddler of all.
The defence of all these assorted dishonourable individuals is to say that others, such as Frit, fiddle their expenses too. This argument doesn’t wash because the difference is that Frit is not a saint. Frit will readily tell anybody, right upfront, that he’ll fiddle the hell out of any expenses account anyone is fool enough to put him on, as effectively and consistently as he possibly can, because that’s what you do with expenses, whereas Boredom Brown and the rest of the sanctimonious selfless crew spend all their time hoodwinking the gullible and the young into thinking they do otherwise.

Savage conspiracy

Frit notes that, to silence an individual it doesn’t agree with, the European Parliment has had to change its rules. The original rules mistakenly stated that the “oldest serving member of parliament” should make the opening speech of the new session and not that the “oldest serving member of parliament whose views you agree with” should make it. This has now been duly corrected to the benefit of all.

Meanwhile, the banning of Michael Savage from the Islamo-Feminist-Samesexer Land of Hope and Glory, Mother of the Free, a similar instance, is causing Frit to doubt some of what he himself wrote in the right-hand column of this blog a long time ago. This implies that the global takeover and control of all aspects of information and society by one self-seeking group of assorted liberal professionals is an organic, almost unintentional process, stemming from the fact that those who make up this group simply share a common brain and thus a common agenda and therefore have no need to conspire out loud or in writing, as it were, to achieve it. However, putting Michael Savage on a list of true unsavouries and banning him from entering a European country that he had no intention of visiting makes the entire thing start to appear more like a very conscious, deliberate, orchestrated, carefully coordinated and planned sinister international conspiracy. Sources tell Frit that he might well be next to be deprived of opportunity to pig out on fish and chips whilst treading streets paved with gum and dog shit in that once green and pleasant land. As might we all.

Hope to no avail

When recently giving evidence in Washington to the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton said the situation in Pakistan "poses a mortal threat to the security and safety of our country and the world". She dares to kindly point this out to us, and those who feed us the news dare to report it as a revelation, when she, and they, and the White African King and every other single one of those who rule us campaigned so relentlessly for so long to bring down the Musharaf government, made up of soldiers in uniforms (shudder), which struggled so valiantly for so long to keep the lid on that dangerously over-procreating and nuclear armed country. When that government was finally brought down, the BBC, mouthpiece of the British wing of those who rule us and who earn so well from screwing civilisation, famously commented that “The hope is a return to democracy will help calm the situation”.

Stand up, stand up for Jesus

Have we all seen the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbPrIixvzv8 showing the mainstream press heroes jumping to their feet for the entrance of the Multimillionaire White African King, then being given permission to sit? Are we all sickened and unbelieving? In the view of Frit and Mrs Frit, in the past, if you wanted to be a voluntarily mesmerised dishonest biased lying arse licker sheep intent on earning money from perverting the causes of truth, you had to try to disguise it from others somehow. Times must have changed.

Short history of slavery

The following is a short history of slavery produced for the benefit of the wife of the Multimillionaire White African King and others who lack an understanding of history due to blinkered prejudice.

1. Slavery began right back in caveman times when the two or three biggest cavemen in the tribe bullied the other cavemen into doing the work.
2. The same principle went on to apply in early civilisations where anyone able to get together a decent collection of bruisers with swords lorded it over the rest.
3. With the advent of trade, slaves began to have an economic value. They could be bought and sold and thus became a currency in themselves.
4. In the fifteenth century, when Europeans started the westward trade in African slaves, they purchased them at the local market because almost everybody in the whole of Africa was a slave at that time. So was almost everyone in Europe, in one way or another.
5. In the sixteenth century, Oliver Cromwell exported Irish people and gypsies over the Atlantic as slaves. There are records of freed black slaves in the West Indies and Louisiana owning British gypsies. It “was not unknown” for Scottish clan chiefs to sell off some of their own clan folk into “indenture” in America whenever they felt hard up.
6. In the late nineteenth century, after having grown up in the workhouse, a place where illegitimate children and the destitute were forced to work for nothing at that time, Henry Morton Stanley crossed darkest Africa from west to east. He made the journey in the company of a man who already knew his way around in darkest Africa because he had been there many times in the course of his time-honoured business obtaining slaves for export eastward to the Arab markets.
7. Slavery was officially outlawed in Saudi Arabia in the nineteen sixties, although it is true to say that women there still have the status of property today.

Slavery is not something white people did to Africans who were living very nice lives in paradise before that thank you. Slavery has been an established institution throughout the whole of history, the fundamental basis of the human socio-economic system and the driving force behind the organisation and progress of civilisation. At the moment outright slavery is absent in most of the world. But it will be back. Ironically, the present occupants of the White House might well be the ones most instrumental in heading us in that direction.

The photograph shows Simon Aban Deng, a refugee from Sudan, who, as a child, spent several years as a domestic slave. Real life is a little more complicated, Michelle.

Gross contradiction

Yesterday, when sentencing two thick jihadis for attending Taleban terrorist training camps, British judge Mr Justice Gross said they had betrayed the country that had given them a home. He said the sentence had to deter other Britons from attending such camps. He said that if it is not already clear it must be made clear that such conduct is unacceptable. Most importantly, he said that unless and until they both saw the world in very different terms there is “a very real likelihood of them reoffending in the future”.

He then sentenced the two to seven years’ jail with them likely to be freed to reoffend in a year and four months, having already been in jail for two years.

In Frit’s opinion, Mr Justice Gross should be put on trial for committing gross contradictionism at taxpayer expense.

The fear of fat

The fear of death from fat amongst those who rule us is truly widespread and has now led to a situation where emaciation has become the true badge of belonging. Something akin to the secret sign of the freemasons, emaciation is the way in which our rulers identify one another across the street. TV journalists, in particular, appear to be wasting away before our very eyes, and, as for the Multimillionaire White African King, well, what can one say? It is rumoured he spends one and a half hours in the gym each day to keep himself looking so wan and wasted. Can it be that his security people insist he be less than the thickness of a bullet? Can it be that he has an eating disorder as a direct result of fearing that another ounce might undo him when walking on water? Can it be that his wife just won’t cook him any damned thing?

Frit is concerned for his welfare and recommends lardo served with garlic, cream, and some nice red wine. Or perhaps white wine, to go with his colour. He can certainly afford a good bottle. Championing the poor and disadvantaged has already filled his coffers so well.

The pictures show him as a boy and as he is now, a mere shadow of himself.

The banning of the words

Frit notes that the CAIR organisation (Council on American-Islamic Relations, or Cuddly Allah’s Islamic Racists, some say), has issued the American government with a list of 10 words/concepts that it recomends are not used in connection with its religion, as using them might cause us all to be butchered. These words are:

The Clash of Civilizations
Secular
Assimilation
Reformation
Jihadi
Moderate
Interfaith
Freedom
Religious Freedom
Tolerance

In Frit’s view, we can only avoid The Clash of Civilizations if every jihadi loonatic soon learns to respect tolerance, freedom and religious freedom in secular, interfaith societies by becoming more moderate and by accepting assimilation through a process of reformation.

Piggy flu

Multimillionaire White African King Obama’s strategy for defending the American people from the new strain of swine flu virus is to apologise to it and offer it respect. And, as human cases normally only occur in those who have close contact with pigs, most of the British cabinet is refusing to sit round the table with Home Secretary Jacqui Smith this week.

UN bounders smell cash in seeking to “investigate Bush officials” over treatment of terrorists

Frit accuses two “senior UN officials”, Manfred Novak and Martin Scheinin, of torture, by making it impossible for people to tell them apart. Which has the prettiest big hairdo? Which wears his specs at the jauntiest angle? Which looks better against a pale blue background? Which has the eyes that can get him into the pockets and the pants of the gullible and the young the fastest? Impossible to tell. Most of those tortured by these questions eventually go mad and end up waterboarding themselves before jumping off the top of the UN building. Both men should be investigated and exposed. Their bank statements should be made public; their real ages should be published to see if they tally with such surprising lack of hair loss.

The age of piracy

Instead of being forced to walk the plank, a Somali pirate has been taken all the way to the USA, at taxpayer expense, to be fed and watered and put on trial at taxpayer expense and defended at taxpayer expense, despite the fact that the entire world already knows he is guilty. The first issue the American legal system will be feeding from for a very long time is the disputed age of the pirate concerned. Be he adult he can be treated as a pirate in need of his just deserts, i.e. a jolly good telling off, probably, and a reminder that pirates appear only in stories. Be he teenaged he must be treated as a wholesome good person whose education has been insufficient and whom copious input of further taxpayer money is sure to redeem.

Sadly, in the real world, teenaged male thugs with weapons are, and have always been, the greatest menace civilisation can possibly ever face. Old enough to kill people and wreck civilisation means old enough to die.

Racist given big platform

Frit notes that Bonky Loon, biggest cheese at the United Nations, having organised an anti racism conference and having invited the biggest racist in the world, i.e. Methodist supremacist madman mad Madmood Madjihadymad, to speak at it, is now whining because a lot of racist hate speech was forthcoming. Fit notes that Bonky Loon has not resigned his office, neither has he called an immediate end to this entire expensive liberal bonding session. Frit also notes that no self-important moral liberal legal institution has issued an international warrant for the arrest of mad Madmood Madjihadymad for spouting hate on every television set in the world, or for any other of his conscientious contributions to bringing about the third world war.

Interrogators graciously let ‘off the hook’

Dick Cheney tells the terrorists that protecting the country’s security is “a tough, mean, dirty, nasty business.”

The present incumbent of the White House tells the terrorists that interrogation tactics adopted by the former administration “undermine our moral authority and do not make us safer”.

Questions:

Which statement do the college professors get most encouragement from?

Which statement do the terrorists get most encouragement from?

International pirate milking scam

The legal profession is at last setting up an International Pirate Milking Court. The initiative is being headed by the Multimillionaire White African President himself (who took 2.8 million dollars off the poor and stupid on book sales alone, last year). The opportunity to earn big money from drawn out proceedings against teenage lowlife delinquents who everybody in the world knows are guilty (because they are caught in the act in canoes with machineguns 500 miles offshore) was just too promising to miss. One bullet per unpleasant thug might be the preferred option of the taxpayer, but who would that keep in clover for goodness’ sake?

How much was that doggy in the window in any case?

It seems the origins of ‘Bo’ the water dog puppy are shrouded in mystery. During the election campaign the world was told that, when Barry became President Barry, the family would adopt a poor, sad, downtrodden abandoned mutt from a dog’s home rather than go out and buy one for money from a super pedigree pooch breeder like trashy rich conservatives would. But was this election promise broken?

Nobody seems to know. The dog’s birth certificate seems to have disappeared, just like Barry’s. Some say the dog was born in Kenya and not in Hawaii, as claimed, and is therefore not a true American dog and has no place gnawing bones in the White House. Some say the dog’s real father is Ted Kennedy. Others say the real father is a Kenyan animal extensively used for breeding purposes in Kenya until run over by a car in 1982. Samson, one of this dog’s many male offspring, and Bo’s brother, is a well-known sexual pervert. Recently, on his way to America to enjoy the big ceremony that was held to mark Bo’s entry into the White House, during which Bo yapped a false note and was made to yap it again in private the next day, Samson was refused entry to Britain for previously having attempted to roger a passing underage water dog puppy girl on an earlier visit to that country.

This fact was considered unfit for public consumption at the time and has only now been revealed, though with much less enthusiasm and accompanying comment than would have been the case were Bo a vicious conservative mutt instead of a friendly, cute, cuddly liberal mutt. The Bo in the picture is quite another Bo, but one that appears equally fond of being wet.

Navy scuppers pirates, White House tries to walk off with the swag

The absurd plan to rescue Capt. Richard Phillips revealed exclusively by Frit on this site yesterday (i.e. having a pet water dog puppy swim over to lick the chops of the pirates until they all say “Ahhhh he’s so cute” and surrender) went badly awry later in the day when the on-scene commander took advantage of a loophole in his orders to fire off a full broadside, sending every one of those murderous cutthroats to a well deserved watery grave.

We shall all expect the White House to be claiming the credit for this successful action, but we know better. The orders from the top were rubbish orders, “only if” orders. The on-scene commander is the hero for interpreting the orders with flexibility. He let us down only in having not forced the one captured pirate to walk the plank at once, before the legal profession has opportunity to start eating big dinners from him.

Their “first puppy”

The familly that now infests the White House, the children of which are never used for publicity purposes, has now at last chosen which particular breed of dog is to soil the lawns on its behalf (but not the lawn they dug up for Michelle to have slaves grow vegetables in). A Portuguese water dog, no less, formerly used to herd fish into nets around the coasts of Portugal. The official version is that the children never used for publicity purposes fell for this dog, but Frit and others suspect it was chosen for its swimming prowess in the hope that it might rescue the captured American captain from the clutches of the Somali pirates, though without biting any.

Ted Kennedy apparently already has three of these dogs. He acquired them in the hope that they might pull him out of any more ponds he happens to drive into whilst drunk, leaving any female passengers to fend for themselves.

The origin of the waxing and the waning of the moon

When God created the sun he shaped it in the form of an ‘O’ by way of foretelling the coming of Obama. But when he created the moon, intended to foretell the coming of Michelle, he had trouble deciding whether it should be in the form of another ‘O’ for Obama’s wife or in the form of a ‘C’ for cow, and he left the project incomplete. Later on, the adherents of a certain religion adopted the crescent shape as their symbol as it looked like something you could very well use to cut off a person’s head with.

Happy Easter to all Frit readers. I hope both of you have a nice time.

Italians found worshipping false gods

The Multimillionaire President of the United States, who recently gave 900 million dollars to Gaza, is giving 50,000 dollars to Italian Earthquake victims. Italians are obviously of the wrong religion, unlike Americans, as, according to the President, America is not a Christian country. The President has also told the Turkish parliament, and thus the wider Methodist world, that “We will bridge misunderstanding, and we will seek common ground. We will be respectful even when we do not agree.” For instance, we do not agree with wanting to take over the world and kill all us infidels, but we respect it.

Social integration

In an earlier post, Frit registered his dislike of vegetarians. They are petty tyrants who expect you to cook without meat when they visit you but expect not to cook with meat when you visit them. This makes them pretty much like Methodists. Methodists expect you to wear a headscarf, eat asphyxiated sheep, drink no beer, blame the Jew for everything and treat your women like dogs etc. when you visit their country but expect not to do the opposite when they visit yours.

Frit, for instance, lived in Gaza for a time. By way of integration, he went about in a burka with a machinegun and some bullets superglued to his chest at all times. He married a local girl, beat her black and blue, forced her to beget seventeen children (at least half of which were brought up as suicide bombers), fired a rocket at an Israeli every morning and pigged out on United Nations halal food aid every night. This was true integration. Exclusively wearing Frit garb, exclusively associating with and exclusively breeding with other Frits, building his own Frit churches, eating his own Frit food would all have been inappropriate and the opposite of what integration is about. And as for insisting that the locals should all become Frits and do the same . . .

Methodists who can’t adapt to life in other people’s countries should go and enjoy life somewhere else. And take the vegetarians with them.

G20 opts for global communism

As we all suspected, the G20 bright sparks opted to lead us into a brand new era of global communism. The entire world is to be run by committees stuffed with their friends. After this had all been sewn up, Frit snuck into the official knees-up by the back door, without anybody noticing. The police were busy hiding from all those “demonstrators” outside who were smashing the windows of banks with their “YES WE CAN” placards. Concealed behind Prime Minister Boredom Brown, whom he mistook for an element of the soft furnishings, Frit then secretly took this photograph of the President of the United States bowing so low to the biggest petroleum parasite of all time that it looks as if he’s attempting to lick out the oil residue gunge from between his toes. When introduced to the Queen of England, who represents America’s closest ally, a mere nod of the head sufficed.

At last we can safely say we now have conclusive photographic evidence to prove what we always suspected – he is so intent on closing Guantanamo Bay so as not to end up there himself one day soon.

Josephine Baker already lived this life you know

Frit learns that top of the pop trash Madonna has “spoken out against accusations that she is using her fame to fast-track the adoption of a 4-year-old Malawian girl” but has not spoken out against accusations that she is using a 4-year-old Malawian girl to fast-track her fame.

In the picture, other children in Malawi can be seen hiding under a tree in the bush in an effort to escape the unpleasant fate of adoption by publicity seeking trollop.

“Mighty Michelle” takes London by storm

The First Lady is in London for the G20 (or the “Gee, twenty!” as she thinks) and is making a big hit with her “understated chic”! Yesterday she accompanied the wife of Boredom Brown to a cancer centre where she said to one patient “Congratulations on being done!” The patient thanked her then went away to try to understand.

Later, a true showbiz dinner was enjoyed, cooked by television chef Jamie Oliver. The main course was “a shoulder of lamb from the Elwy Valley”. Nobody is saying if the sheep in question was halal (Hygienically Asphyxiated Lean Allah Lamb). Mighty Michelle sat next to Harry Potter scribbler J.K. Rowling, a woman whose incredible wealth will never make either attractive or happy. Mighty Michelle told Rowling that if Harry Potter’s first name began with a “B” instead of an “H” he would have more in common with her husband than just some slick tricks. She also said she had read Harry Potter to her daughter. “Congratulations on being done!” Rowling replied.

Openness at last

Forget all those doubts about the openness promised by the Multimillionaire White African President not actually being forthcoming. For now we understand – all that much vaunted openness was not meant for the American people, nor for the rest of the wider civilised world, it was meant instead for our enemies. Yes, those who want to kill us all have been openly and officially informed that US forces will not pursue them into Pakistan from Afghastlystan! They are very grateful and are now moving there in large numbers. Ever on the lookout for a business opportunity and suspecting that accommodation will be in short supply, Frit is now considering opening a hotel down there, the South Waziristan Albergo Talibano.

Picture shows the queue at the border just after the announcement was made.

Pork pies are off, Sir

Frit notes that the lily-livered socialist individuals who run Britain have banned all pork products from the upcoming G20 banquet in deference to the idiotic archaic traditions of the adherents of a certain irritating religion that is really beginning to get on everybody’s nerves (Indonesia, Saudi Arabia and Turkey are the three that are foisting their culture on all the rest). Not sure if this applies to live pigs and thus to Home Secretary and common thief Jacqui Smith, whose visual similarity to a live pig is almost universally accepted. Meanwhile, her husband has humiliatingly apologised for having watched some disturbing films at the taxpayer’s expense without going blind. Apparently, the aforementioned live pig he married was not at home when all this took sordid place. He did not specifically state whether any other pig standing in for her or any other animals involved were organically raised.

Jobs, justice and climate

Around 35,000 no-hopers with nothing to do marched through London this weekend “for jobs, justice and climate”. The counter demo would presumably be “for unemployment, injustice and no climate”. They all trooped along dripping with the milk of their own kindness and hoping to get laid, the usual bevy of minor celebrity “activists” on hand to issue encouraging simplistic gems like “politics should be about people not about profit”. Such a cute line. Spoken by an actor, of course. The actor in question once played the Baldrick character in Blackadder, the British television comody series. He has never made a penny of profit in his life, not even from making a television programme showing his own mother’s death.

Blackadder once tried to teach Baldrick mathematics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=328Q79GoR7g), asking “I have two beans and then I add two more beans. What does that make?”

“A very small casserole”, replied Baldrick. This, of course, was funny. At the time, we didn’t realise he couldn’t make things out any better in real life.

The picture shows the political activist in question showing off a red dress brimful of the profits that accrue from making politics about people instead of profits. Although profits less than half your age but more than twice your size perhaps don’t count.

Nothing new under the sun

Frit is a founder member of the organisation known as WOW (War on Warmers). On behalf of this organisation, Frit has now completed a study that conclusively proves what many have suspected for quite some time: the climate of the planet is controlled by the sun. The study involved sitting outdoors for an hour on a warm day and looking upwards.

Meanwhile, a new study entitled “Falsification of the Atmospheric CO2 Greenhouse Effects Within the Frame of Physics” has been published in the International Journal of Modern Physics by German physicists Gerlich and Tscheuschner. Neither this study nor the work of the recent Conference on Climate Change in New York, nor the work of WOW, are being afforded much attention by the mainstream media that feeds all too well from the warming trough to ever pull out its snout.

Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso (born Lhamo Döndrub) keep out

South Africa, apple of the eye state to that whole generation of anti-apartheid activists who now rule the world, is refusing to let into its territory the Downright Lama, the current pet symbol of apartheid and oppression. And for money! Chinese money! How will they cope?

The Downright Lama himself is unconcerned, it being a simple matter for him to do a wibbly-wobbly fadeout on one side of the border to re-emerge as another being on the other. It’s how he got where he is today, after all. The picture shows the Downright Lama and a well-known South African mouth on legs practicing levitation together in happier times.

Brown and not so brown

Unelected Prime Minister of Britain, Boredom Brown, and unfairly media-elected President of the United States, generally known as The Multimillionaire White African King, appear to be wrangling over which of them is to lead the world out of recession and depression and save us all from the inevitably resulting Third World War.

Both are claiming this role and Frit is concerned that they might injure each other at fisticuffs, fighting for the privilege. Frit is unsure which to support. Brown has the less cocksure and reckless comedy routines of the two, having not yet appeared on TV to disparage the disabled nor to laugh and sneer at the entire financial collapse and auto industry and banking crises. He also has fewer eyes than his opponent. But the President has youth on his side and is probably too thin for Brown to land a decent punch on. He also has race on his side. And Allah. We’ll just have to wait and see which one of them kayos the other and saves our bacon first.

Cherry Blair syndrome infects White House

Green food bore and slavery witterer Michelle Hussein Obama, who, like Cherry Blair, appears to have trouble remembering that she is just somebody’s wife, did a good photo op digging up the White House lawn the other day whilst wearing an extremely inappropriate townie frock. She intends growing vegetables (not personally of course – vegetables are grown in dirt and imply actual work, she’s getting a slave to do it). The idea is to keep herself, her anorexic husband and her children (who are never made use of for publicity purposes) in fresh greens. Does everyone already just loath this horrifyingly daft individual, want to put her on a slave ship along with Cherry Blair and feed them both exclusively on fries, cola and remember you’re just somebody’s wife pills?

Canada declares war on ticks

Today, Frit thanks the Canadian nation for standing up for the welfare of its wildlife and declaring a downer on bloodsucking parasites by refusing entry to Palestinian passport holder and renowned tick George Galloway. Well done! A glimpse at the poor moose above, suffering hair loss associated with tick infestation explains why.

In gratitude, Frit and Mrs Frit have agreed to double their intake of maple syrup and to revise their attitude to millions of square miles of bear-infested frozen wasteland.

Haha, Mr Methodist, funny or what

To laughter from the audience, a speaker at a meeting of lunatic Methodist supremacists held in Istanbul (dubbed the Global Anti-Aggression Campaign!!!) said that twice as many babies were born as children were killed during the recent war in Gaza.

When is the world going to wake up to the fact that breeding rates amongst Methodists are the true challenge of the age? If there is this much trouble in Gaza with only two million people, how on earth are we going to cope when there are ten million? The threat is not from insane ideologies in themselves, but from the sheer numbers of people who share them and try to implement them.

The graph shows the Age and Sex Composition of the Palestinian Population in Gaza Strip and the West Bank (including East Jerusalem), 2005.

Meagre earnings from pirates

As predicted by anyone with any sense, there has been no decrease in piracy attempts around the horn of Africa despite the presence of many fearsome warships that are hugely expensive to maintain. Nor is there likely to be any decrease as long as the pirates (romantic word for armed robbers) know that these fearsome warships are only ever going to arrest them and never sink them.

Meanwhile, the legal system in Germany has already made some good money, but not all that much, from issuing arrest warrants for nine pirates captured by a German warship and then from changing its mind, declaring that the nine will not be taken to Germany for trial after all. The odd reason given for this decision is that “no German interests were considered endangered in the attack” on the German owned cargo ship concerned! One suspects that such a decision to refrain from sticking their snouts into the potentially extremely lucrative pirate prosecuting trough would break the heart of everyone involved in the entire western legal profession. So why would they make it? Smells like a political decision made by politicians and dressed up to look like a legal decision.

Black bust, white bust

With all this new openness abounding everywhere in the new era, why is it so difficult to establish if the Multimillionaire White African King replaced the bust of Churchill in the Oval Office with the bust of Lincoln or with the bust of Martin Luther King? Pictures show a bust of Martin Luther King, so who said Lincoln, and why? Is this a question of a lack of transparency or a question of a misunderstanding or a question of deception and a bare faced lie? Or does it reflect the fact that the man himself is pretty uncertain about his colour? The motives for throwing out the bust of Churchill are also shrouded in mist. We all thought it was to do with his wife’s inability to understand history properly / her slavery problem but it could equally well be because Churchill once said of a certain religion:

“No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. And were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall.”

Strange sex education or else

Frit learns that, in Britain, school officials have apparently announced they will prosecute the parents of approximately 30 children who did not attend a week's worth of lessons coinciding with “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender History Month”. Is the most disturbing thing about this the fact that the parents concerned acted not out of common sense and in a spirit of revolt against samesexer liberal tyranny, but out of straightforward old-fashioned religious bigotry in one form or another, including, mostly, Methodism?

Exceptional Methodist able to carry on good work, relief all round

Frit notes that Lord Fatmed of Rotherham, Methodist peer, has already been released from jail by appeal court judges after serving just 16 days for a texting whilst driving murder. The judges deemed Lord Fatmed’s case “exceptional”! But there is “not one law for the rich and powerful and one law for the rest”, explained appeal court judge Lady Justice Hallett. She made no mention of any laws that might apply to the rest but not to Methodists. She then amazingly went on to warn motorists they face jail for texting while driving, unless they are just texting “Allahu Akbar” which is considered too short a message to cause an accident or do any sort of harm in the world at all.

Apparently, the few days he spent in jail will now be stricken from the record. There will no longer be any evidence of it, so he can carry on with his “international humanitarian work” which his lawyers argued would be in serious jeopardy if a prison record remained on file. So that’s okay then.

The picture shows the texting murderer in question, right, leaving the prison by the back door, disguised as a harpy, in the company of his solicitor. He obviously lost some weight over the past sixteen days but is planning to put it back on again as soon as he can get his mincers into some flavoursome halal lard.

Galloway honoured with Palestinian passport

Frit notes that Member of Parliament George Galloway has been presented with a VIP Palestinian passport at a secret meeting held with the boss of HAMAS (Hate and Murder and Supremacy). Does this mean the authorities are now entitled to take away his British passport, arrest him as an illegal alien terrorist sympathiser spy and saw off his head under Sharia law?