Gatecrashers

Last week, Frit spent a lot of money on a posh frock for Mrs Frit with a view to gatecrashing the White House thanksgiving party (though not as much as multimillionairess Worst Lady Michelle spent on that posh socialist frock rumored to have kept 40 slaves busy with needles for a month until their fingers bled). Unfortunately, the attempt came to nothing. Frit and Mrs Frit were arrested and waterboarded by the CIA. Next day, they were appalled to discover that only couples with Mussulmanic sounding names and links to Hamas are permitted to successfully gatecrash such events. Frit and Mrs Frit have thus renamed themselves Mohammed and Fatima Bin Frit, have started raising funds for the next intifada and are hoping for better luck next year.

Hajj

The Mussulmanics are presently in Mecca performing the important ceremony of plodding in circles round the big stone box draped in black silk, stoning the Devil etc.. Saudi newspapers are reporting that the grandmother of the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President is prominent amongst them. In his message to his grandmother and all other fellow Mussulmanics at this important time in their calendar, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President says “The rituals of Hajj and Eid-ul-Adha both serve as reminders of the shared Abrahamic roots of three of the world’s major religions”. Sounds very nice until you remember that people from the other two of those major religions with Abrahamic roots are likely to encounter visa application problems if they wish to attend. They are unclean and not allowed to enter Mecca and they might well have their heads as well as their roots chopped off if they try to.

Every true Mussulmanic has to participate in the Hajj at least once in their lifetime, if they have the wherewithal, we are told. Doing the math on this, i.e. subtracting the 2 million Mussulmanics performing Hajj from the 1.5 billion the world is blessed with, rather implies that some are slacking. Thus, Frit urges all who have a Mussulmanic for a neighbor to knock on his door and ask him if he intends honoring his commitment. No excuses. If he could afford to fly to Pakistan for an arranged marriage last month he can afford Mecca this month. Off you go! Off you go!

The picture shows the big stone box draped in black silk and the hordes of pilgrims with the three Giant Jellyfish of Allah floating prominently in the foreground on the lookout for any encroaching Jews.

Harpo out

Mrs Frit, ever a matchmaker, suggests that the new EU President and his new EU Foreign Minister should marry, both being equally charisma-challenged. Frit is skeptical. When they get to the part of the marriage ceremony where the vicar asks if they take one another there is a danger that neither will know who the other is nor who they themselves are. And, talking of marriage, a little bird tells Frit that Worst Lady Michelle Hussein Obama has fallen out with Oprah Winfrey in a jealous fit! Apparently, Oprah was actually christened Orpah, but nobody in the family could pronounce that so they changed it to Harpo written backwards. It seems that Oprah was muscling in on Michelle’s man, who “would jump when she called”.

Frit considered posting the image of a monkey with Michelle’s features that many monkeys have been complaining to Google about in recent days (for an earlier related post see http://thethoughtsoffrit.blogspot.com/2009/06/please-dont-mention-family-tree-unless.html). Instead, Frit posts this recent photograph which he took of Michelle in the Whitehouse gardens manually de-worming her dog, a task she was planning on delegating to Oprah in happier times.

Oh waht a sacrifice

The human race can be proud that its Hindu community conducted the largest animal sacrifice of all time in Nepal this week. Glancing at his calendar, Frit sees that this is the year 2009. Yes we have come this far! The head priest launched the event with the sacrifice of two rats, two pigeons, a rooster, a lamb and a pig. The crowd then rushed to a nearby field where 250 sword-wielding butchers began the mass slaughter of around 20,000 buffalo, brought by devotees to be sacrificed near the holy temple. Not wishing to be outdone when it comes to bizarre atrocity committed in the name of religion, the Mussulmanics, currently all in Mecca to walk in circles round a box, are planning their own version of this ceremony next year, intending to hack off the heads of 20,000 Hindus but leave out the pig.

One mainstream media outlet describes what is going on in the photograph as “slitting the throat”!

Frit's Ten Point Plan

Few people know that Frit is the person who drew up the ten point plan for halting the Mussulmanisation of Europe which was later adopted by Geerd Wilders and his party following a secret meeting with Frit in a tulip field, i.e.:

1. Stop cultural relativism. We need an article in our constitutions that lays down that we have a Jewish-Christian and humanism culture.
2. Stop pretending that Mussulmanicism is a religion. Mussulmanicism is a totalitarian ideology. In other words, the right to religious freedom should not apply to Mussulmanicism.
3. Stop mass immigration by people from Mussulmanic countries. We have to end Al-Hijra.
4. Encourage voluntary repatriation.
5. Expel criminal foreigners and criminals with dual nationality, after denationalization, and send them back to their Mussulmanic countries. Likewise, expel all those who incite ‘violent jihad’.
6. We need an European First Amendment to strengthen free speech.
7. Have every member of a non-Western minority sign a legally binding contract of assimilation.
8. We need a binding pledge of allegiance in all Western countries.
9. Stop the building of new Mussulmanic mosques. As long as no churches or synagogues are allowed to be built in countries like Saudi-Arabia we will not allow one more new mosque in our western countries. Close all mosques where incitement to violence is taking place. Close all Mussulmanic schools, for they are fascist institutions and young children should not be educated an ideology of hate and violence.
10. Get rid of the current weak leaders. We have the privilege of living in a democracy. Let’s use that privilege and exchange cowards for heroes. We need more Churchills and less Chamberlains.

Frit would now like to add a new Point 11 to this list, i.e. ban the döner kebab! There could be anything or any animal under the sun in that revolting tower of icky spam. You just don’t know.

Millions of degrees

Frit has turned down several Nobel peace prizes down the years, loath to have his name associated with other recipients such as Multimillionaire Nobel Laureate Great Gore. Gore spent all these years lucratively convincing us we are to blame for global warming and, just as we were about to believe him, he now appears on TV to admit he knew all along that the core of the earth is to blame, having increased its temperature to “millions of degrees”, unnoticed by anyone but him. No wonder we’re all sweating. Let’s hope we get some cool air from the photoshopped hurricane rotating the wrong way on the cover of his latest book.

Smaller feet, smaller footprints

According to the United Nations’ ‘State of World Population report’, women have a lower carbon footprint than men. Women drive and fly much less than men and purchase fewer carbonintensive goods etc.. This idiotic assertion is not going down very well amongst Mussulmen, because, as we all know, Mussulmen regard women as extremely environmentally-unfriendly and polluting. After all, did not Muhammad inform us all that women are “unclean” creatures. Did he not say that “Three things corrupt prayer: women, dogs, and donkeys”. Did he not say that “Woman is a vile beast,” and that “Women were created for nothing but evil”.

The assertion is also not going down very well with Frit, whose wife, Mrs Frit, buys far too many of those carbonintensive cut flowers, advent calendars and other girly stuff.

Earning from hunger

A lot of words are being written and sold and spoken and sold on the subject of world hunger and the Rome Food Security Summit right now. The Rome Food Security Summit is a scam where the likes of Robert Mugabe, who has probably done more than any other despot in history to make sure people in his country have nothing whatsoever to eat, can have their begging bowls filled with freebies supplied by unfair westerners who selfishly monopolize all the planet’s grub.
The Rome Food Security Summit will not link the figure of one billion hungry people with that of one billion needless births. The pretence is that those one billion needless hungry mouths have nothing to do with biology and global population mismanagement. They have just been conjured out of the air somehow and all we now have to do is somehow conjure a method of feeding them out of the air to suit. Frit, who lives in a western society where, in recent times, people worked hard to produce adequate food and fewer children to eat it, travelled to Rome to deliver the following message to the Food Security Summit: FRIT DOES NOT HAVE TOO MUCH TO EAT! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!

No matching collar and cuffs

The latest employment law lunacy case in Britain has been brought by a woman against her former male boss. She wants him to pay her 4 million pounds for calling her a dumb blonde and for making dumb blonde jokes. He has to argue to a three-woman employment tribunal that “It was said entirely as a joke, it was never intended as an insult”. Frit thinks little of his chances, even despite the fact that, whilst it might not be easy to tell from the photograph if the individual in question is actually dumb, it’s very easy to tell she’s not actually blonde.

Frit has already purchased some shoe polish with the intention of blacking up and suing the first person he hears make a joke that includes the word golliwog.

Hands off!

Frit, who, as a direct result of Mussulmanic terrorism, has to suffer strip searching, x-rays and endoscopy virtually every time he boards an airplane, enters a public building or crosses the street, is seething with livid rage at the Canadian police chief who apologized to a Mussulmanic woman, and to the Mussulmanic community, when she complained that one of his officers patted her down when arresting her husband. Frit is beside himself at this outrage. Frit wants this police chief sacked. More, Frit wants this police chief sacked, deprived of his Canadian citizenship, excommunicated from the Christian church and divested of all the money he has swindled out of the Canadian taxpayer throughout his slimy lily-livered career, except for the price of a one-way ticket to Saudi Arabia, where, for the rest of his cowardly life, he shall ponder what a delightful society pandering to such harebrained drivel creates. As for the Mussulmanic woman concerned, Frit is already training a whisky drinking pig to pat her down next time.

Bush-Cheney to stand trial in New York

Frit learns that the biggest show trial in the history of the world is about to be held. Former President George W Bush, former Vice-President Dick Cheney, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, unknown numbers of CIA, law enforcement and military people are all to go on trial in New York on charges arising from their attempts to protect America and the free world from the onslaught of sixth century religious dogma. Witnesses for the prosecution include 4 individuals specially flown in from Guantanamo Bay. When found guilty, all defendants could face the death penalty.

Incredibly incapable

Mary Robinson, one-time President of the place that likes to refer to itself as the “Emerald Isle”, although everyone else just calls it “that peat bog over there”, has described as “unjust and unwarranted” all criticism from American pro-Israel groups of The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President’s recent award to her of the Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the US. “I was acting purely in a principled, human rights way with no bias, which I am incapable of”, said she. They are so unassuming. So unassuming.

Searching Google images for “Mary Robinson” reveals that she is far from too modest to be photographed though far too unsightly to feature on Frit’s blog. But Frit came across this interesting painting of another Robinson, Robinson Crusoe. The President of the United States, on holiday in the West Indies in his younger days, can be seen mistaking his garb for that of an Arab and fawning at his feet.

Immoral Arabs

A German of Russian descent is on trial for stabbing to death a pregnant Muslim woman and injuring her husband specifically because they are Muslims. As heinous as this crime undoubtedly is, it is curious to see how much of the Muslim world has erupted in fury. In Cairo and Alexandria, the home city of the couple, there were demonstrations outside the German Embassy and German institutions. The protests spread to Iran and Karachi in Pakistan, where women held up placards denouncing the West and calling for justice for the “headscarf martyr”. German justice is, of course, not good enough, and a fatwa has been issued. Curious that wholesale butchery of the infidel in Muslim countries is not a problem to anyone whereas a single “headscarf martyr” is really, really upsetting. Curious also that the trial, for which the security operation is huge, is not being much reported on by those who feed us the news. Not even in Germany itself.

Similarly, the Turks, who divided the island of Cyprus, are guilty of equal imbalance over a bar being opened in the Christian half in what was formerly a mosque. The many churches, graveyards etc. located in their own half of the island that they have destroyed completely, desecrated or turned into head chopping off factories and so forth simply don’t count.

Kemal Ataturk declared that “Islam – the theology of an immoral Arab – is a dead thing. It might have suited tribes in the desert. It is no good for a modern, progressive state”. Sadly, the Turks are now increasingly embracing that theology and moving backwards towards the Middle Ages. They are a disgrace to the absurd looking bird after which they named their country. Frit suggests they rename it after the bird pictured, the Scimitar-babbler, making themselves the “Scimitar-babblers”, a much more apt name for those intent on running around chopping off heads with a curved sword whilst uttering meaningless sounds.

Which way to the bridge?

In the wake of the Fort Hood massacre, Frit is confused. He is reading that Muslims in the military have a problem, they need to “seek a bridge between worlds” say experts. “How can a Muslim participate in killing other Muslims in such places as Iraq and Afghanistan?”, they ask. Frit, in his ignorance, always thought that Iraqis are Muslims, but they seem to have no problems killing one another. Frit thought that Afghastlystanis are Muslims and they have no problems killing one another either. Pakistanis kill one another just fine. Palestinians are experts at it. Iranians, Saudis, Yemenis, Lebanese . . . In fact, Frit finds it quite difficult to think of a Muslim country where Muslims have any difficulty whatsoever in killing one another, and preferably by the most gruesome methods available. Or has Frit misunderstood something? When they say they “seek a bridge between worlds”, perhaps they mean so they can throw one another off it.

Birth of a religion

In a landmark ruling in Britain, Mr Justice Michael Burton-Loon has pronounced that a belief in man-made climate change, if genuinely held, can be considered to have the status of a religious conviction “for the purpose of the 2003 Religion and Belief Regulations”. Frit wonders if this means it’s now okay to dress its adherents in strange green frocks, persecute unbelievers and chop off their heads in its name. Frit also wonders if a belief that there is no such thing as man-made climate change, if genuinely held, can equally be considered to have the status of a religious conviction “for the purpose of the 2003 Religion and Belief Regulations”. If so, Frit intends installing effigies at the headquarters of his own anti warming dogma organization WOW (War On Warmers) and insisting that the staffers there remain celibate.

Long frocks are a giveaway

A man who habitually wore a frock and posted anti-western stuff on the Internet was allowed to stay in the US army and eventually butcher people trying to defend America and the western world. But those who rule us say this was not an act of terrorism. No, rather it was the act of a mentally deranged individual. Apparently, an individual can either be mad or can be a terrorist, never both. So those of us who thought that every terrorist is a madman are quite mistaken. Are we also mistaken about thinking the frock is the uniform of the enemy so frock wearers simply have to be ejected from the armed forces and sent to Guantanamo Bay? Get real!

Morality

Frit has concluded that the great threat posed by the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President and his henchmen and henchwomen stems from the fact that they see artificial dogma as infallible truth. They see their acts as moral acts and not as political acts. This makes it government by religion. Like in Iran.

It seems that, in Texas, a Mussulman woman applied for a job with CareNow, an employer who has a “no-hats” policy, and failed to get the job because she insisted she had to keep her headscarf on. The CAIR organization (Cuddly Allah’s Islamic Racketeers), has now written to CareNow asking it to “1) offer the Muslim applicant a position for which she is qualified and to allow her to wear her Islamic head scarf, 2) provide the applicant with a formal written apology, 3) clarify CareNow’s policy on religious accommodation issues and allow a religious exemption to the“no-hat” policy, 4) institute workplace sensitivity and diversity training for staff, and 5) compensate the Muslim applicant for the emotional distress she has suffered as a result of the discrimination”.

Frit, who once had to stay alive in the jungle for months on end, knows how to kill every type of animal, including ones with fur, using nothing but a loofer. Therefore he is qualified to work in a slaughterhouse. However, only last week, when he applied for a job as slaughterman in a halal slaughterhouse he was informed that the job may only be done by a Mussulman. This is not equal opportunity. This is straightforward religious discrimination. So Frit has now followed CAIR’s splendid example and written to the slaughterhosue asking it to “1) offer the Christian applicant Frit a position for which he is qualified and to allow him to turn up for work with a bottle of beer, his pork pie and no beard, 2) provide Frit with a formal written apology, 3) clarify policy on religious accommodation issues and allow a religious exemption to the“no-infidel” policy, 4) institute workplace sensitivity and diversity training for staff, and 5) richly compensate the Christian applicant for the emotional distress he has suffered as a result of the discrimination”.

CareNow appears to have relented and dropped its no-hat’s policy, so Frit is hopeful that the slaughterhouse will relent and employ him after all.The photograph shows the woman and headscarf concerned.

Importing the time bomb

Frit has learned that those who rule Britain purposely opened the country’s doors to let people in because they know that immigrants always vote for the benefits the left always promises them. Now, Frit learns that those who rule the USA are handing out taxpayer money to fund the move of people from Gaza to the USA for the same reason. In their ignorance, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President, his maturity-challenged wife and their henchmen and henchwomen are unaware that as few as 15 rabid hate-filled HAMAS (Hate and Murder and Supremacy) aid gobblers can breed themselves into 50 million rabid hate-filled HAMAS aid gobblers virtually within a single year. They are importing a time bomb. They should seek education from the Prime Minister of Turkey who only recently urged his own population to breed faster to obtain “more power”.

Mussulmen who can’t spell

Inspired by some absurdly illiterate recent hate posters, Frit’s latest book is entitled “Mussulmen who can’t spell”. Sadly, this is now being withdrawn from the shops throughout Europe because Frit learns that, if all goes as planned, the 27 member states of the European Union will soon have a common hate crime legislation that will turn disapproval of Islamic practices or homosexual lifestyles into crimes. The directive's definition of discriminatory harassment is so broad that every objection to Islamic or homosexual practices will be considered unlawful!

Frit opposes the introduction of this legislation on the grounds that those in society who most object to homosexual lifestyles are Mussulmen. Thus the legislation specifically singles out Mussulmen, especially homosexual Mussulmen who by definition must either disapprove of their own lifestyles and are thus committing a crime, or must disapprove of the Islamic practice of disapproving of their lifestyles and are thus committing a different crime. This law is discriminatory and wrong. It is also bad for book sales.

Animal lovers reach out, cows fail to reciprocate

In Britain, dog owners have been trampled to death by irate cows in record spectacular numbers this year (in an earlier post Frit reported on a case of this type where the cows failed to quite pull it off). Knowing that politically correct and townie-riddled doggy-lover land as well as she does, Mrs Frit now tells Frit she expects a law will soon be passed to make it illegal for farmers to negligently leave their cattle standing about uselessly in a field without being on a lead.

Posers

Frit notes that, in Britain, a conman has been given a jail sentence for posing as the Director of Public Prosecutions in order to seduce women. The real Director of Public Prosecutions is arch progressive Keir Starmer QC. Starmer falsified his details in Who’s Who to make himself appear less advantaged. He also recently abused his apolitical office to make public speeches against the Conservative Party’s intention to meddle with the Human Rights Act from which he earned very well thankyou for years before being appointed to his post. Nonetheless, Starmer himself is not being sent to jail for posing as the Director of Public Prosecutions in order to seduce women. What an injustice.

The photograph shows Starmer staring in disbelief at the figures the Human Rights Act has added to his bank statement down the years.

Cruelty to animals

When asked by a small boy, on camera, to confirm he was born in Hawaii, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President replied “Yeah, I was born in Hawaii, that’s true. Absolutely and my . . . my sister still lives in Hawaii. And we got a dog named Bo”. The amazing thing about this abrupt change of subject trick was its crudity. A bit like seeing the conjurer putting the rabbit into the hat with one hand before pulling it out with the other. It is so obvious. So badly done. Why do they not notice?

It is also tantamount to abusing a dumb animal incapable of giving informed consent to its being used as a prop in hoodwinking the American people. And dogs are so trusting. Frit is having his people write to PETA demanding they rescue the dog. As everyone knows, PETA is an organization that collects money from the gullible and the young for the purpose of finding dogs new homes, but instead executes them and pockets the savings. No matter, Frit is sure that the poor mutt in question would much rather spend its time fouling the pavements of heaven than suffering mistreatment at the hands of an inept showman down here. The photograph shows the brute in question poking his dog in the ear with a stick for being blacker than him.

Choice of words

Frit notes that coalition talks between the two right-leaning parties forming Germany’s new government are referred to by those who feed us the news as “fights” on the same day that talks between Hamas and Fatah, locked in a barbaric bloodthirsty struggle over who pockets the money lavished on the Palestinians by western democracies, are referred to as “negotiations”.

Appearances

In all his public appearances the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President appears to have a knack of looking like a TV entertainer one moment and like a schoolboy playing at being the President the next, but never like an actual president. We should be worried. We should be worried. Also, why does his wife always look like a big white slave ship captain guy blacked up and in drag?

Waiter there’s a fly in my soup

Frit, who is in telepathic contact across the great divide with the ghost of the fly that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President killed on TV not so long ago, has been informed firsthand by this said ghost of a fly that what the Koran has to say about flies, i.e. that if a housefly falls into a person’s drink, that person should properly immerse the fly in the drink because one of the fly’s wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease, is a load of old rubbish. It’s simply not true. Hardly surprising when one learns from ancient tomes only recently discovered in a hitherto buried temple in in a desert somewhere that the word Koran, the name of the book revealed to Mohammed by the angel Jibril over a period of approximately twenty-three years (beginning in 610 CE, when he was forty, and concluding in 632 CE, the year of his death), is short for Kooky Odious Retarded Arrant Nonsense. (Jibril is apparently short for Jalapenos In Beer-Roasted Iranian Lentils.) Is it true that the Koran has been banned in Kazakhstan?

Polar bears destroy western civilization

In his attempts at saving the world from the green disaster of the upcoming Copenhagen global climate treaty, Frit recently put himself through the ordeal of having dinner with Unelected Prime Minister of Britain and arch warmer, Boredom Brown. The aim was to try to convince him that if you only have half the number of eyes possessed by the standard human being you can reasonably be expected to see only half the thermometer and only half the north pole etc.. To no avail. The addled wretch is of the opinion that “The great injustice of climate change” is that “those being hit first and hardest by it are those who have done least to cause it”. This is an unshakable collective warmist religious conviction and a supremely effective strategy for getting the hands ever deeper into the pockets and the pants of the gullible and the young. No matter that those who have done the least owe their very existence to those who have done the most. No matter that giving all the money of those who have done the most to those who have done the least, which is the aim of the treaty, can only make the former worse off and never make the latter better off.

Frit blames it all on the polar bear. The polar bear is the most vile and vicious slaughtering machine that ever drew breath, and which the planet could well do without. But the polar bear is gift wrapped in white fur and lives in wet conditions where the blood gets quickly washed off. This makes it an acceptable, cuddly, likeable symbol, just perfect for feeding the warming doom message to our children, irrespective of it having been feeding itself on our children since time began.

Incitement to murder

Frit is breathless with admiration for this section of a BBC report on the visit of Gerd Wilders to London: “He was quizzed about his views on Islam and his unsuccessful attempt in the Dutch parliament to get the Koran banned, using the same laws under which Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf was outlawed”. They so smoothly would have us believe they are thus saying that a thoroughly good read, i.e. the Koran, must not be placed in the same category as a thoroughly bad read, i.e. Mein Kampf, whereas, of course, the real intention of the statement is simply to associate the name of Wilders with the name of Adolph Hitler anyway one can.

During the visit, Frit was not amused to see a “reporter” interviewing a retarded yob in a London street making what amounted to death threats against Gerd Wilders. The “reporter” then addressed him as “Sir”! Frit was so irritated by this that he has had his legal department write to the British Home Secretary reminding him that British law states:

Encouraging or assisting an offence believing it will be committed

Section 45 creates the crime of:
Doing an act capable of encouraging or assisting the commission of an offence; and
Believing that:

§ The offence will be committed; and
§ His act will encourage or assist its commission.

The offence is triable in the same manner, summarrarily or on indictment, as the anticipated offence (s.55(1)) and, on conviction, a person can be sentenced to the same penalty as applies to the anticipated offence (s.58).

Frit is not expecting a prompt reply.

Green subsidence

Frit’s anti global warming hoax organization WOW (War on Warmers) has discovered that the pretty town of Staufen im Breisgau in southern Germany has become the first town in the world ever to be laid waste by warming dogma. Warmers in that town were determined to do their bit to save the climate by heating their ancient town hall with green geothermal heat rather than red fossil fuel heat. So intense was their warming zeal that they ignored geological advice and bored several green warming holes hundreds of warming meters into the ground. These holes allowed water from the bowels of the earth to seep upwards into layers of rock that dissolve in water. The pretty medieval town instantly started to sink into the resulting cavities with disturbing speed. The medieval town hall and all the other medieval buildings are cracking and disintegrating. Nobody knows how to slow, arrest or reverse the process. People can only stand by and watch as their homes and businesses fall to pieces and vanish into the ground. Media reports on this green crime are extremely few and far between. Frit proposes that the townspeople seek compensation from the media and from Multimillionaire Great Gore.

Figures buried in fens

Shivering in the unusually early frost and snow of a globally warmed October morning, Frit reads that, in mid-August, the University of East Anglia's Climate Research Unit (CRU) disclosed that it had destroyed the raw data for its global surface temperature data set owing to an alleged lack of storage space. This data was the basis of several of the major international studies that claim we face a global warming crisis. Fishy as this might be, it seems not to make headline news. Frit’s own anti global warming group WOW (War on Warmers) has dispatched a team to East Anglia to dredge those fens for incriminating evidence. WOW has also written to Multimillionaire Nobel Laureate Great Gore requesting his thoughts.

Sikh freaks

Recently, a Sikh man was awarded a sum of money by a British court as compensation for having been asked to remove his turban to do training in the police force. This he could not do because his turban is “one and the same as the Sikh’s head”. Now, a Sikh schoolboy and his family are winging because he is not permitted to take a dagger to school. In Frit’s view, he should only be allowed to take the dagger to school if he is prepared to use it only to “consecrate the ceremonial sweet pudding”, which, it seems, is after all one of the dagger’s important never to be done without purposes.

Or why not simply go back to where running around with a dagger and having your head be one and the same as a piece of cloth is the done thing?

Fruits of appeasement

Frit notes that the Irish terrorist Patrick Magee, a self-obsessed frightened runt who murdered five people and injured many others when attempting to murder Margaret Thatcher twenty-five years ago, was invited to the House of Commons to “promote reconciliation”. He naturally saw this as an opportunity to simply justify his murders and his miserable existence and to parade his lack of remorse. Frit also notes that the Pale Stinians have washed their hands of the American Administration’s attempts at flooding the Middle East with peace only days after the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Politically correct gem of the week

Yesterday, when reporting about the death penalty handed out to six men in China for their part in recent unrest in the Uighur region, did CNN’s anchor Hala Gorani really tell us that the conflict was between Han Chinese and “a weaker ethnic group”? “Hala” apparently means “halo”, and it sometimes shows.

Ah, the “plight” of women in Berlusconi’s Italy

A fuss has erupted in Italy because Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi told a Democratic Party politician she has more beauty than brains. They are demanding he retract the comment. Frit agrees. It is very evident from photographs of the woman in question that, were the statement true, she would have hardly any brains at all.

Joker gets peace prize

The Nobel Peace Prize, bequeathed to us by the man who brought dynamite to the world, this year quite rightly goes to the individual most likely to blow the world up.

Frit reads that “In Saudi Arabia, which is an important player as well as a key moral force in the Arab and Islamic world, there appears to be a quiet sense of enjoyment over the news”.

Judge watch

Frit notes that, as part of the great international justice conspiracy, judges in Italy have come to the considered conclusion that judges should rule the country instead of the government, and their enemy, Billionaire Silvio Berlusconi, must be shafted. Their fellow conspirators, the most senior judges in the UK, have meanwhile ruled that long sentences for terrorist crimes could “inflame” rather than deter extremism whilst, across the pond, 3 judges in New York said “pass” one after the other when randomly chosen to conduct the trial of a terrorist suspect.

Trouble looms

An Israeli cabinet minister has declined to visit Britain for fear of being arrested as he might be faced with possible charges stemming from his time as the chief of staff of the Israeli military. This is because Israeli officials have been threatened with prosecution in Britain under the international ruling class’s legal principle of "universal jurisdiction," which says suspected perpetrators of serious crimes can be prosecuted in countries other than those in which the crimes were committed. Frit believes it is time for Israelis to threaten to prosecute members of the international ruling class under the legal principle of “universal common sense” which says suspected perpetrators of serious crimes that amount to aiding and abetting the forward march of idiocy and Methodist supremacy can be prosecuted in countries other than those in which the crimes were committed.

But then, learning that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President’s own website astonishingly compares Gaza with the Warsaw Ghetto, accusing Israel of running a “concentration camp”, Frit realizes that nothing really matters anymore. The established rational code that has kept at least some parts of the world in some sort of semi-civilized and semi-peaceful state for the past while is now obviously at an end. There is going to be trouble.

Jew boy found skulking in mosque?

Frit reads that the family of Madmood Madjihadimad apparently changed its name from Sabourjian, a Jewish name meaning "cloth weaver," to Madjihadimad when it converted to Islam after his birth. Thus his reason for being so big on hating the Jew hiding behind the tree is simply because he himself is the Jew hiding behind the tree and doesn’t want his fellow madmen to notice. Frit says, pull the other one! Were this true his relationship with his new found friend the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President (who also once went by a different name, i.e. Barry, which is a Mussulman name meaning “one who will ruin your country and the entire fabric of western civilization should you be stupid enough to elect him infidel cloth weaver fool”), wouldn’t be heading anywhere at all. (Strange how the phrase “be headed” always seems to creep in when discussing issues relating to Mussulmen.)

Food bore on Sesame Street

Big Bird dared to ask Michelle what no other dare ask but forgot to ask if she really used to sit on her dad’s lap aged 20, as she claims, and what her mum had to say about it.

Five things every dog owner should know

· You own a dog for your own sake, not for your dog’s sake.
· Your dog does not look like you, you look like your dog.
· You do not love your dog, you use your dog.
· Your dog does not love you, your dog loves anyone who gives it a bone.
· If you drop dead in your home without anyone knowing, your dog will eat you. As will your cat.

What the Dickens

People say this picture depicts Britain in times gone by, but Frit thinks it depicts Britain in times to come.

Burkinis fine versus burkini fine

Further to a recent Frit post concerning the wearing of burkinis in Britain, Frit is delighted to learn that the Mayor of a town in Italy has said that any woman seen wearing a burkini will be fined 500 Euro. “We are simply banning it and if this decision upsets anyone they can simply take a dip in a burkini in their own bathtub”, says the mayor. Frit would like to promote this mayor and give him overall charge of the whole of Europe where he could do something about Germany, for instance, where burkini wearing and other strange Methodist practices are okay whereas the much less strange practices of Baptists (yes, refugee Russian Baptists) are not tolerated at all. When some decided to opt out of the same-sexer liberal brainwashing school system and teach their children at home, the authorities took the parents to court on charges of “high treason and incitement of the people against the authorities”. Some parents were imprisoned, some were robbed of their parental authority and some had their children taken away from them. In 2007, 16-year old Melissa Busekros, who sided with her parents, was even placed in a psychiatric ward because, as the psychiatric evaluation report stated, she “considers herself healthy and her behaviour fully normal” and, hence, needed “urgent help in a closed setting” where she would get “special education treatment.”

Inane bigot snubs friend

Multimillionairess Tribal Queen of Attitude Michelle has refused to embrace Billionaire Silvio Berlusconi, a staunch ally of America. They say she has a moral/womens’ issue with him due to all the tales they tell of his philanderings (which earn the Italian left a good living). Strangely, she has no moral/womens’ issue with submissively urinating at the feet of the King of Saudi Arabia, authoritarian despot and number one enemy of the free world, a man with 4 official wives, 7 sons and fifteen daughters, and, Frit suspects, a man who keeps an unknown number of “concubines” of assorted sexes and their brood under lock and key in his own private brothel, just like his dad, and, for all Frit knows, just like his 52 brothers. And maybe his 56 sisters.

Billionaire Berlusconi took it well, and even admires Michelle’s “suntan”.

Bum bombers

The human race has to be congratulated on having reached a new level of depravity. Yes, the religion that has debased our species so well down the years has now hit on the novel idea of persuading one of its adherents to have a bomb inserted into his back passage as a means of committing murder. They’ll all be doing it soon. None of us will be able to board a plane without having a policeman perform proctoscopy on us from now on. Thank you, religion of peace. Actually, the mechanics of the idea are quite complicated because it can’t be all that easy to locate the arsehole on a person who is entirely made up of one.

The Force without a hat

Frit is outraged to hear that an individual named Jones, who created the International Church of Jediism, was “victimized over his beliefs” by staff at a British supermarket. The Jedi religion, inspired by the sci-fi films, is practiced by 500,000 around the world and requires believers to cover their heads in public places. But Mr Jones said that staff ejected him from the store over security fears when he refused to remove his hood. "I walked past a Muslim lady in a veil. Surely the same rules should apply to everyone," said Jones. Too right, Jones. In a fair world, all morons deserve equal treatment.

The President’s new skin

With the help of a pack of tarot cards and some goo brewed up by a trio of warty crones, Frit has succeeded in reaching across to the other side to establish contact with the ghost of the fly killed by the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President on TV. The fly is firmly of the belief that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President killed it merely because it happened to be blacker than he. So the fly is shocked and mystified to hear its murderer lay claim, on TV only yesterday, to almost complete true blackness. “I was black before the election”, he claimed, whereas everybody knows the opposite is true: he was elected way before he was black. “Since the election he has become blacker by the day in the eyes of his followers, the fly complains, “thanks to a new type of blackness that is invisible to anyone who is too stupid to see it”. One day, the fly and Frit fear, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President will go on a procession through the capital showing off his new black skin and a small child will cry out “the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is white” and the crowd will realize the child is telling the truth. What happens then?

Feasting

For Ramadan, the British Home Office sent a circular to the staffers requesting them not to eat in front of fasting Mussulmen. This is the opposite of the circular Frit sent to his own staffers requesting Mussulmen not to fast in front of feasting Christians.

Acorn

Hearing that Acorn is intending to sue the people who made those shocking undercover videos, Frit hopes he doesn’t get into trouble for photographing this Acorn worker advising a passing female motorist on the best way to murder her husband.

Guinness

The world’s tallest man is in London for official inclusion in the Guinness book of records. Meanwhile a Guinness heiress is also being included in the famous family record book for being the most gross miscreant slapper ever to be acquitted by a jury for having drunk more than one hundred pints of the family brew and behaved like a drunken fishwife on an airliner despite the fact that witnesses, including four hostesses and the captain, abound.

Also in London, a prize politically correct feminist global warming samesexer, Attorney General Patricia Janet Scotland, Baroness Scotland of Asthal, PC, QC (nothing upper crust and far from unassuming about that mouthful), having steered through parliament a law to penalize small businesses for employing illegal immigrants, even if they employ them “unknowingly”, has been caught concealing an illegal immigrant “housekeeper” under her own kitchen sink. We are told she “could” be prosecuted. Could? Could? COULD?

This is the same Attorney General Patricia Janet Scotland, Baroness Scotland of Asthal, PC, QC who is currently considering launching a criminal investigation into whether British secret service agents were complicit in the alleged torture of British terror suspect Binyam Mohamed. Frit believes her unfit for the job. She must resign. She must be prosecuted. She must shorten her name to bring it more in line with her own politically correct political persuasion. Otherwise we might think it’s all just a sham.

Absurd colorblind bungler

Absurd multimillionaire ex-president Carter has falsely implied that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is BLACK! Is this a racist slur? Coal is black, the night sky is black, Condoleezza Rice (the color of whose skin was never an issue for right-leaning folk) is black. An individual born of two black parents is black, but the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is obviously scientifically observably NOT BLACK! He is no darker than all those underage Latino girls his friends at racketeering organization Acorn were planning to smuggle into the country for use in brothels. This is why it is now widely believed that “the overwhelming portion” of Carter’s “animosity” towards the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is based on the fact that he is a white man.