More vindication for warmers

Yet another expensive enquiry in the UK has cleared the Climategate scientists of fudging their data. Good job, as some of the poor dears have in the meantime considered suicide and some have received death threats. Apparently, one of the methods suggested for both was chaining to stakes on Spitsbergen and daubing with seal oil so as to combine the event with a chance to count just how many polar bears are still around.

The picture shows the Climatic research unit at the Socialist University of East Anglia, Norwich, Norfolk, where the data in question was acquired from some old thermometers left lying about on top of the canteen radiator. Built of blocks of ice to give it that politically correct, iglooey, eskimoey, indigenous ethnic victimization look, the building is in danger of melting and causing global floods if the funding dries up.

Surprise of the century

Kosovo's declaration of independence from Serbia in 2008 was not illegal under international law, top UN judges have decided. The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President intended backing Kosovo’s independence even if the court decided it was illegal, he made a point of saying. Could have been a terrible irreconcilable conflict there but it turned out all right in the end. Frit took this photograph of one of the impartial low-paid top UN judges concerned.

Getting what others pay for

Frit learns that Ex-Prime Minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd, is currently being considered for a big job at the United Nations. Frit supposes this has nothing to do with the 500 million Australian dollars Rudd is said to have given away to sponger/warmer nations whilst in office. Although, were Frit ever to become Prime Minister of Australia and were he to say “you must be joking” to sponger/warmer nations when they requested him to tax Australians and give the proceeds to them, Frit suspects he would never be offered a job at the United Nations later on. Never in a million years. Never, never, never.

Free yourselves!

http://www.muslimsdebate.com/search_result.php?news_id=4399

Taliban loses head

It seems a Gurkha soldier in the British army, under heavy fire, cut off the head of a dead Taliban commander and took it back to HQ for identification purposes rather than the whole corpse. Now he is in all kinds of trouble because the Afghaslystanis are OFFENDED by the act. Presumably the offence is because
a) the individual was already dead, instead of alive, when his head was cut off
b) the knife used was sharp instead of blunt
c) no crowd of hysterical onlookers was around to shout Allahu Akbar
d) no cameras were there to make any fond home movies

The picture shows part of the "Tower Of Skulls" built in Niš in 1809 by the Turks from the skulls of 1000 Serbs beheaded in a beheading ceremony to the above strict Mussulmanic specifications. UNESCO is currently considering awarding “cultural heritage” status to this monument.

Trojan Horse

“We await the day when Turkey joins the European Union to serve as a Trojan horse.” Gaddafi Duck.

Hair of the Prophet

Learning that the Iranian authorities have banned barbers from offering western style haircuts to men, Frit has written to all western governments suggesting we retaliate by banning Muslim style throatcuts. Barbers have also been banned from plucking hairs from the faces of clients to give them the appearance of having two separate eyebrows rather like the horrid infidel they would all so like to be. The picture shows the ultimate in Chic Shiite Schönheit: short, mad, short back and sides, monobrow, the white man’s suit but not his tie.

Srebrenica, 15 years on

“The goal of the Islamic revolution in our country is the creation of a unified Islamic state comprising the area of Bosnia-Herzegovina, Sandzak, and Kosovo. Jihad should be pursued to its final outcome in order to exterminate the enemy and the infidels. We should not wait for a challenge or a provocation. Muslims must invent a challenge. They must be the ones who produce the challenge, and the goal will then come by itself…Muslims must be superior to all others, and every effort should be made to create an environment in which everyone will be of pure Muslim blood.” Hasan Čengić, former Deputy Prime Minister and Defense Minister of the Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina.

The picture shows the slick hectomillionaire spiv who allied the US with the speaker of these words.

Spain 1, Holland 0

The World Cup final was a game made boring by the referee and watched by communist polygamist Jacob Zuma who has more children than there were people in the stadium. In fact, a recent census revealed that most people in South Africa are either married to Zuma or were fathered by him. For most of the match he looked like a man wondering why the players were kicking a ball around on the pitch instead of throwing spears at each other. He was also probably wondering if the “10 cattle” he paid for Swazi Princess Sebentile Dlamini in 2002 might have been a few cattle too many. Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma, such a modern leader.

The Arab in the photograph can be seen asking Zuma how many humans he’s prepared to pay him for his cow of a wife.

Great Gore warms up by strange means

Is it true that a female masseuse is accusing Great Gore of having behaved like a “crazed sex poodle” when she gave him a massage (for around 500 dollars earned feeding eyewash to the gullible and young) in his hotel room and he insistently demanded extra favors? And is it true that some Gore supporters have said not to tell anybody because if it gets around the “world’s going to be destroyed by global warming”? Frit turned up this photograph of Gore all dressed up and ready for a massage. His ex-wife, Kipper, says she never used to mind him dressing this way in the bedroom as long as it helped his low emissions problem.

Judge watch

To his horror, Frit learns that, this week, five criminal defendants in Britain who were charged with breaking into an arms factory and destroying property valued at some $285,000 were found by a jury to be innocent of all charges. They were found innocent despite the fact that all five admitted to having committed the crime, because they said they did it to stop the factory providing arms to Israelis who would use them to commit war crimes against Palestinians. In his summing up, Judge George Bathurst-Norman suggested to the jury that “you may well think that hell on earth would not be an understatement of what the Gazans suffered in that time”.

Incensed, Frit had his people find out where Judge Bathurst-Norman lives, went to his house, broke in and trashed his collection of law books, booze and kefiyas. When he appears in court he will be pleading he did it in order to prevent Britain from sinking even further into absurdity and institutionalized anti-Semitism destined ultimately to cost the lives of many Jews, and he will expect to be found innocent.

Historic contributions

To Frit’s complete astonishment, the boss of NASA has appeared on TV to confess that, when the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President appointed him to that position he charged him “foremostly” with finding “a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with predominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science, math, and engineering”!!!

Frit believes the most significant of these historic contributions was the invention of the halfwheel. These were once produced in large numbers in the Middle East but ended up as decorative elements on the tops of church towers as they gave such a notoriously bumpy ride. Later on, a Christian hit on the idea of nailing two of them together and a Jew added some spokes, but these were mere minor modifications. The basic concept came, as always, from Abdul and his Prophet, and we thank them for it. Without Abdul and his Prophet we’d still be living in the trees.

The face on the prairie

For some time now, sharp entrepreneurs have been making good money using Google Earth to trawl the highways and byways spotting gold watches and other items of lost property, and Frit considers himself a pioneer in the sector. Recently, when looking for any valuables lying about in the eastern part of Oklahoma, Frit came across the miraculous image shown. Etched into the countryside by the hand of God, it could be the face of Christ or even the face of the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President. What’s the difference? Frit believes he is the first to have discovered the image and that it has even more commercial potential than the crummy Nun Bun and the Oskar fish with “Allah” written on one side and “Mohammed” on the other combined. Frit has already obtained an adjacent lot for a very modest price where he intends erecting “Frit’s Four Star Okie Face Palace of Pilgrimage and Wellness Tower Hotel”. The higher the room in the tower the higher the price and the better the view of the miraculous image and the associated healing effects. With this project, Frit feels himself onto a true winner at last.

Human doner kebab speaks out for HAMAS

Curious to see that Erdogan, the supremacist who rules Turkey, a man as cheap and greasy as his own national dish that looks like dog meat on a spit, and probably is, is demanding an apology from Israel over the terrorist flotilla episode. This is the leader of a country with one of the bloodiest histories and one of the worst human rights records of all time. Even today, Kurds in Turkey are still forbidden to give their children Kurdish names, Frit reads.

Curious also to notice that Erdogan, such an avid follower of Prophet Mohammed, who hated dogs, should go to all the trouble of featuring the word “dog” so prominently right in the middle of his own name. And, equally curious that, despite his HAMAS friends being similarly true adherents of the Prophet and thus forbidden to have anything to do with any part of a pig, they should choose a name that so obviously starts off with the word “HAM”. But then the name of the Prophet himself, irrespective of the various spellings (i.e. Muhammad, Muhammed, Mohammed etc.), always appears stubbornly constructed around its own substantial and quite centrally placed pork content.

Neigh

Frit finds it strange that a man caught on Google Street View cameras standing at the side of the road wearing a horse mask causes such a furore whilst this big horse standing in a field further down the road wearing a human head raises not a comment.

Gaza Ahoy! (again)

This week, Frit is busy delivering aid to Gaza. He has chartered this vessel stacked up with assorted guns, ammo, explosives and rockets packed in cases labelled “Medical supplies”. The rest of the words on the labels, i.e. “will be urgently needed once Hamas gets its hands on all this stuff” have been crossed out. The vessel is crewed by three dozen Hezbollah storm troopers one of whom claims he knows the words to Kumbaya. Amazingly, this project has the full backing of every single government of every single country in the world! The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President is so impressed he even invited Frit to the White House for dinner. Frit courteously declined because, when he eats goat, he prefers not to sit on the floor and eat it with his hands.

Unluckily, Frit’s people ran out of room to write “Aid Ship” on the stern and, due to time pressure, arrived at a less than optimum abbreviation.

More offence

Further to yesterday’s post, Frit has reported this tree to the authorities in Tehran, requesting it be properly cleaned up before it corrupts us all and causes earthquakes.

Offensive suckling

Frit notes that the Afghastlystanis are offended at having been called “backward” by a British minister. He also notes that the US authorities condemned the recent “Everybody draw Mohammed Day” as offensive. Meanwhile, the Saudi Arabian authorities have absolutely failed to respond to Frit’s letter demanding they, in turn, condemn things that are truly offensive to him and to all other enlightened human beings living in the 21st century, such as the debate currently going on in that country as to the pros and cons of having working women breastfeed their male colleagues as a way of making it acceptable for them to work together in the same building!!

The Mussulmanniquins pictured here in a shop window in Tehran, however, will thankfully never be asked to accommodate their male counterparts in that way as the religious police have sawn off their offensive breasts. ISLAM = Infantile Shiites Loath Ample Mammeries.

In black and white

Further to yesterday’s post, Frit has now obtained this rare photograph of the mountain in question taken pre-Mandela.

The victimisation World Cup

Frit has just returned from South Africa where he spent a few days looking for white folk. This is because the intense media coverage of that country during the current World Cup was giving him the impression there are no longer any whites left there. Frit is aware that whites are being culled in large numbers in the Rainbow Nation right now without the media giving it a mention, so he wondered if they had already been wiped out in totality. Happily, Frit is able to report that this is not the case, there are indeed some whites still hanging around in the bush down there, patiently waiting their turn to be hacked to pieces in their beds. But as their faces fail to fit the desired narrative, media cameras are simply leaving them out. Mystery solved.

Whilst there, Frit took this photograph of one of the biggest but least reported pieces of environmental vandalism of all time. It seems the first thing Nelson Mandela did upon assuming office was to order the pointy part of this mountain sawn off and thrown into the ocean for no other reason than it attracted snow and, as we all know, snow is the same colour as the Boer.

On going down

“Israel is our first line of defence in a turbulent region that is constantly at risk of descending into chaos; a region vital to our energy security owing to our overdependence on Middle Eastern oil; a region that forms the front line in the fight against extremism. If Israel goes down, we all go down.

To defend Israel’s right to exist in peace, within secure borders, requires a degree of moral and strategic clarity that too often seems to have disappeared in Europe. The United States shows worrying signs of heading in the same direction.

The West is going through a period of confusion over the shape of the world’s future. To a great extent, this confusion is caused by a kind of masochistic self-doubt over our own identity; by the rule of political correctness; by a multiculturalism that forces us to our knees before others; and by a secularism which, irony of ironies, blinds us even when we are confronted by jihadis promoting the most fanatical incarnation of their faith. To abandon Israel to its fate, at this moment of all moments, would merely serve to illustrate how far we have sunk and how inexorable our decline now appears.”

Jose Maria Aznar

Catholic church gets it right, then conveniently wrong again

In a document presented by Pope Benedict, the Christian Bishops state that, in recent decades, the percentage of Christians in the Middle East has fallen from 20 percent of the population to less than 5 percent, and the number is dropping. Despite the fact that the bishops believe this is “principally because Muslims make no distinction between religion and politics, thereby relegating Christians to the precarious position of being considered noncitizens, despite the fact that they were citizens of their countries long before the rise of Islam”, they somehow still manage to conclude the whole thing is due to the “unrest” in that region caused by the Israelis, the very same people who cause everything bad everywhere, including Frit having fallen down at the weekend and injured his knee.

Frit took this photograph of the Pope sucking up to some Mussulmanic bigwigs on a recent visit to Mecca.

Great Gore ditches Kipper (or other way round)

So, in reality, the famous kiss was about as warm as the famous warming. What a surprise.

Israeli Defense Force lets us down

The Israeli military, normally quite efficient, had hundreds of anti-Semitic Mussulmanic terrorist supporters, warmongers, international communist dross, aging agents provocateurs and assorted vile victimization vermin at its mercy on ships yesterday morning but could only manage to bag a mere handful. Let us all hope for better results next time.

Moonstruck

Frit experienced an encounter with a ninety-three-year-old lady at the weekend busy travelling around the country entirely alone. He was very impressed by her fitness, independence and mental agility until she then informed him that “the weather will never improve until they stop going to the moon”. Frit thanked her and promised to pass the information on to Al Gore.

Back trouble can even affect the divine

Frit is not one to gloat over the misfortunes of others so, today, he must severely reproach himself for his deep lack of distress concerning “social activist” and pop trash icon Bono who is currently in hospital having injured himself on stage whilst preparing to further corrupt and fleece the gullible and the young on a world tour. Apparently, Bono, who wears dark glasses for everything but looking in the mirror, tripped over his own opinion of himself in the dark. Frit believes this individual opted for the name “Bono” as an alternative to the full version, i.e. “bonobo”, as he deemed the full version a bit too lifestyle-suggestive even for the pop sewer milieu.

Frit took this photograph of aging Bono taking time off from social activism to behave like a bonobo with some teenage girls.

Environmental catastrophe

Once upon a time, when Frit was dabbling in the property sector, he and Mrs Frit inspected a rural property with a stream flowing through its ample grounds. Next to this stream Frit noticed an apple tree in a non-upright condition, its six inch diameter trunk having obviously been gnawed clean through by an animal. “BEAVER”, cried Frit and Mrs Frit simultaneously, looking round for a weapon and scarpering as fast as they could from the addled property owners intent on telling them all about why everyone should want a beaver in their garden.

In Frit’s world, beavers are truly accomplished environmental delinquents meriting severe control rather than protection. Thus he nods his head wisely when reading that the Polish authorities believe the antics of beavers to have been a factor in contributing to that country’s current major floods, which have claimed 15 lives and caused untold destruction. In Frit’s view, Polish beaver botherers should now either be arrested or have their feet nailed to the riverbank and their legs painted brown.

The right kind of papers

Recently, when asked an immigration issue question by a child, the answer came easy to the Worst Lady: "That's something that we have to work on, to make sure that people can be here with the right kind of papers". After all, she’s been saying the same thing to her husband for years.

The Worst Lady can be seen in the photograph dancing the “slave ship shuffle” with an illegal immigrant whilst the border police helplessly look on.

Gambling definitions

Whenever Frit gambles some of his hard-earned billions on a currency falling in value the TV calls him a “speculator”, whereas whenever he gambles on a currency rising in value the TV calls him an “investor”.

Progress

Eight years after 15 schoolgirls were roasted alive in Saudi Arabia when the religious police prevented their escape from their burning school on grounds of them being inadequately bagged-up, the authorities in that blessed land have now issued gracious instructions to the effect that girls are to be allowed to escape fires whatever their state of dress. In Britain, a similar Mussulmanic country where the name Mohammed has already overtaken traditional choices like Jack, Thomas and Daniel to become the number one name in several areas, and where the website of the English Defense League has been taken down for "contravening UK racism laws" (in other words for saying negative things about the religion of peace), Frit hears the new parliament might soon be considering a bill which makes it possible for un-bagged-up Mussulmanic girls to likewise escape the flames, whilst Christian girls, either bagged-up or un-bagged-up, are only permitted to escape them on condition of then being burned at the stake.

SAUDI is short for Social Asphyxiation Under Dippy Islam.

Miss Hezbollah USA

Frit believes the new most beautiful woman in America is a less than chaste terrorist sympathizer and terrorist-supported Mussulmanic ex-pole dancing stripper and not an icon for the advent of modernizing the Mussulmanic world. Hezbollah people, with whom she is said to have many family ties, are caught between glee over their own booty having been voted better than ours and wrath over one of their belongings appearing in public in a de-bagged-up state. HEZBOLLAH stands for Hostile Eastern Zealous Bozos Only Like Little Arab Hotties.

Frit took this photograph of Miss Hezbollah performing at “Salim’s Shi’ite Strip and Shimmy” in downtown Dearborn, Michigan, last year.

The law of the desert

Bedouin saying:

“I against my brother, I and my brother against our cousin, I and my brother and our cousin against the neighbors, all of us against the foreigner.”

Coincidentally, a Bedouin sheikh recently claimed that his tribe is linked by blood to the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President. Abdul Rahman Sheikh Abdullah, 53, says that he has evidence that as many as 8,000 Bedouin tribesmen from northern Israel are related to him!

Behind bars at last!

This photo shows Brown where he rightly belongs, at last – the zoo.

More Mussulmanic jokes for which you can be killed

In response to a Mussulmanic woman having been fined for wearing her burka in public in Italy, the head of Italy’s Mussulmanics has stated that veiled Mussulmanic women are the true upholders of western traditions of female dress and that it is the Mussulmanics who are protecting the traditions of that country! Strewth!!! Then there is:

How many Mussulmanics does it take to change a light bulb?
One to hold it.
One to read instructions from the Koran as to how.
One to tell you the bulb is only intended for peaceful use.
One to sue you for claiming a Mussulmanic didn’t invent it first.

Elected at last

Unelected Prime Minister of the UK, office bully Boredom Brown, has now finally and rightly been elected the ex-unelected Prime Minister of the UK. At present he seems to have taken a leaf from ex-German Chancellor Gerhard Sewer Rat Schroeder’s book, claiming “nobody but me” after defeat. His “duty” is to stay in office for the sake of the country. For the public good, you know.

Having completely mortgaged and pauperized Britain during his years in office, both as Chancellor and unelected Prime Minister, having bored everyone to tears and browned everyone off for what seems an age, in the opinion of Frit it is not sufficient for elected ex-unelected Prime Minister Brown to now simply slink off back to yon bonnie banks and yon bonnie braes to enjoy the fruits of his expense account frauds for the rest of his dismal life. Someday Brown and his ilk have to be held to account for their misdeeds. Stupidity is no defense. Ideology is no defense. Nor is being a dreary bigoted turd. He must be arrested, tried for ruining and embarrassing his country, must be found guilty and condemned to end it all by swallowing his own glass eye.

Narrow escape

Frit has been on the run ever since he was caught on camera in New York taking off his sweatshirt and stowing it in his backpack near to Times Square. He was pursued across several states by tracker dogs and ended up holed up in a motel room surrounded by Eric Holder, Mayor Bloomberg, the press, swat teams, FBI agents and CIA men brandishing water boards. When they kicked down the door and burst in, thank goodness he had the presence of mind to quickly dress as an Arab, complete with suicide belt from which severed heads dangled, whereupon they all said “Awww shucks”, and disappeared! Phew!

The fruits of warming

Frit is shocked to see this Mussulmanic fountain at the bottom of the garden of Multimillionaire Great Gore’s new mansion in Montecito. Frit believes it to be a replica of the “Fountain of Eternal Dominance and Boo to the Kuffar” in Iran, at the bottom of which lurks the Mahdi, awaiting liberation when the apocalypse arrives. Having paid for the garden by telling the gullible and the young that warming is the true apocalypse, since climategate Gore has often been seen of an evening furtively hanging around the fountain trying to winkle him out with a stick, by way of proof.

UN atrocities

Without fanfare, the United Nations last week elected Iran to its Commission on the Status of Women, handing a four-year seat on this influential human rights body to a theocratic state in which the status of women is that of belongings, in which stoning is enshrined in law and lashings are required for women judged “immodest”. Women in Iran are now even being pursued by police for having suntans! We also have the United Nations to thank for this very day, April 3, i.e. “World Press Freedom Day”. Remember how, before the UN invented the third of April, we all used to have to go direct from the second to the fourth? Not any more! Looking through the papers, Frit, currently in New York, and who stopped in the street to whip off his jumper and stow it in his bag not far from Times Square, suspects the freedom in question is the freedom to hoodwink the gullible and the young with even greater vigor than on normal days of the year.

Brown bigot

Unelected Prime Minister of the UK Boredom Brown has disgraced himself and revealed himself unto the ultimate by smarming a harmless British pensioner for the cameras, launching a vicious verbal attack on her the moment she was out of sight then groveling at her and the nation’s feet once accidentally outed. The lady in question is very lucky he didn’t beat her up physically, as he does those in his office. In his defense, he appears to be trying to tell everybody that it was all the pensioner’s fault for mentioning the “I” word, which is such an awful word that it makes him shudder and go to pieces, and, in any case, “bigoted” is Scottish for “very nice person, I like you, would you like to share my false eye”. But the electorate is not fooled. In the opinion of serious pundits such as Frit, Brown is now history. He concealed his true vile and self-seeking character from the public for what seems like hundreds of depressing years, but in the end it popped out and brought him down. Nice to see. Nice to see.

Yet another enquiry clears warmers of cooking the books

The “independent” panel convened to examine the research published by the University of East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit, at the centre of the "Climategate" affair, has found there was “no scientific malpractice” involved. Lord Oxburgh, chairman of the panel, is also the current president of the Carbon Capture and Storage Association as well as chairman of wind energy firm Falck Renewables. Of course, having one’s nose very deep in the trough whilst at the same time chairing a panel set up to investigate if the trough really needs continuous filling doesn’t automatically imply any conflict of interest nor any corruption or downright dishonesty, deceit, sleaze, fraud, cheating, immorality, cronyism, gangsterism and gall, but, in Frit’s view, it doesn’t quite imply “independence” either.

Boredom Brown burkas on way in

Just when we all thought the Mussulmanics had achieved ultimate absurdity by generally creating a fundamentally loathsome political ideology dressed up as a religion and based on hatred, greed, envy and testosterone, by running around asking questions like “Is it proper for a man to wipe his socks if he puts the right sock on before washing his left foot?”, and by making women into earthquake-causing bagged-up belongings, a cleric in Saudi Arabia has now called on women to wear a full veil that reveals only one eye instead of the hitherto permitted two!

What can one say? What can the sane say?

Political freak show

The world’s most abhorrent political alliance has just been struck between stunted warmonger Madmood Madjihadimad and Robert Mugabe, Africa’s most hardwearing socialist despot. Madjihadimad says he wants a world free of nuclear weapons except for his own. After all, what’s the point in all those worthless kuffar having nuclear bombs, he (rightly) asks, if they have no plans to detonate any? The Islamic Republic, on the other hand, has every intention of making proper use of its own bombs the moment they are ready to go. How else can the divine teletubby ensconced at the bottom of that well down south for so many years be brought out to finally put the world to rights? This fits in well with Mugabe’s dream of a world in which he has opportunity to reduce everybody’s life expectancy at birth by significantly more than the 14 years he has so successfully achieved in his own country during his reign up to now.

Destination Mars

The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President says he wants Americans to go to Mars instead of to the moon. It seems this has always been his ambition ever since he watched the film “Mars Attacks”. As a devout Mussulmanic he admires the incoherent monotonous unpleasant claptrap that issues from the mouths of the Martians as well as their uncompromising approach to dealing with other cultures.

Ice burkas prevent earthquakes

"Many women who dress inappropriately cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes," a certain addled Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at Friday prayers in Tehran, the home of the really mad. Could this be the reason the Mussulmanics are now intending to build their first Mosque in the Arctic Circle? The quilted multi-layer triple insulated fur mega-burkas they’ll be walking around in up there are sure to stop the earth moving.

Extremism

Hectomillionaire Bill Clinton says that the tea party movement could incite extremism. Strangely enough, some think that making believe you're a black man, amassing huge amounts of personal wealth, power and prestige from pretending to champion the little guy, fiddling with every loose woman in America in the Oval Office, irresponsibly risking and loosing the lives of American military people on a regular basis by trying to appear tough at the same time as trying to appear the good guy, and bombing Serbia in order to set up Mussulmanic states within Europe all might incite extremism too.

Eyjafjallajökull

Unelected Prime Minister of Britain and office bully Boredom Brown has embarrassingly made a speech “setting out his vision” for a “global society”. The global society is a perfect society in which nobody does any work yet all are fabulously rich and healthy and all eternally vote for and worship Boredom Brown for making it all possible. Of course, the “vision” of an individual possessing a mere 50% of the visual organs of the normal person can be expected to lack some proper depth and accuracy. No matter, carried away with his own munificence and lack of decorum he then apparently removed his glass eye, held it aloft before his astonished audience and offered it as a bung to plug that volcano in Iceland that is currently doing so much to inconvenience teachers, many of whom are Labour Party voters, stranded in holiday destinations with Brown wanting to do almost anything to get them back in the country in time to vote.

Wrong targets

Frit has learned that the Mussulmanics are “up in arms” because the British army installed models of mosques on a firing range used to train British soldiers off to fight in Afghastlystan. Needless to say, the models have already been removed and an apology issued. Maybe they’ll now be replaced with models of York Minster and St. Peter’s Rome. If that fails to calm the situation perhaps a few live Christians and Jews could be nailed to the facades on crosses.

All in the name

If Barack really means “blessed”, if Hussein means “descendent of the Prophet” and if Obama is a surname in the Dholuo language spoken by the Luo people of Kenya, based on the verb "bam" meaning "bent", then whenever he has to fill in his surname first we get “Bent Blessed Descendent of the Prophet”. Seems to fit.

The photograph shows grandfather Hussein Onyango Obama. There is some doubt about whether Onyango means “born in the early morning” or “born about mid day”. No matter, the picture seems to confirm he was certainly there well before lunch.

Shoe fetish deemed kosher

A court in the UK has accepted that shoe-throwing is simply a ritual form of protest and therefore not a criminal act of violence. So as long as a Mussulmanic throws a shoe in your face, and not a stone, he commits no offence! At the same time, the British National Health Service has just permitted Mussulmanic women to wear complete burkas on the job, despite previously having decreed that bare arms are a must for staff in hospitals in order to be able to wash up to the elbow, thereby preventing the spread of some really malevolent germs. In the view of Frit, the obvious plan, here, is for Abdullah to throw his hobnailed boot in your face so that you end up in hospital where Amatallah then shakes superbugs into your wounds from her burka sleeves.

Holy showbiz boffin implodes with excess piety

Richard Dawkins, atheist campaigner and evolutionist, is planning to have Pope Benedict XVI arrested when he visits Britain later this year for "crimes against humanity". He appears unaware that the point of not believing in Almighty God is not to claim that role for oneself.

The photograph shows smarmy Dawkins reproachfully peering at a passing believer from behind a fossilized version of one of his own earliest creations.