Hill and Bill

Frit famously dislikes aging Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod ’em Clinton even more than Hectomillionaire Bill Clinton dislikes her. For this reason Frit was very instrumental in making sure she failed to win the leadership of the Democratic Party and become President. So why is he now beginning to wish she had won?

Meanwhile, the health of Hectomillionaire Bill, who has just been in hospital for something which we’ll probably never know the honest details of (AIDS say some), is a source of concern to Frit. Frit, hopes Bill survives a bit longer because, if he passes over to where the shiny, slimy and slick cavort amongst the wispy clouds of conman heaven, Frit will undoubtedly also pass over out of nausea at the song and dance certain to ensue on TV.

Bullygate

Despite much deeply unattractive squirming, unelected Prime Minister of Britain and nasty piece of work Boredom Brown just can’t shake off the assertion that he is a vicious bully with a rotten temper. Those around him are all covering their bruises with powder to appear on TV and tell us what a nice man he is. In a latest development, all those Mussulmanic lawyers acting for former Guantanamo inmates and convicted terrorists, bleeding the British taxpayer dry with legal bills over torture allegations, have all now signed a paper saying their clients were told to provide information or face being left alone in a room in 10 Downing Street for five minutes with spiteful Boredom Brown.

Obamalama

The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President just had to meet up with mega victimization icon the Downright Lama. Why not? Both their names end in the same three letters so they must be distant relatives, both have a Nobel Peace Prize, both represent eastern religions, both go by false names, one is pretty much barefooted, the other pretty much barefaced, and both can levitate. But why did the visitor have to leave by a side door where garbage is stacked, some are asking. Frit, on the other hand is asking how come garbage is stacked around the White House anywhere at all? Garbage inside, garbage outside, we can only suppose. If you come from that sort of milieu, you just don’t notice.

Brown bully

Unelected Prime Minister of Britain, Boredom Brown, has been obliged to appear on TV to deny reports that he physically abuses his staffers. It appears he specially trained the muscles around his glass eye to contract and expel it from its socket with near deadly force at any underling impertinent enough to annoy him. This seems to surprise many, though Frit thought him a nasty piece of unelected socialist work all along. Frit caught the savage brute in question on camera replacing the eye after having viciously fired it at the elderly tea lady for forgetting the sugar.

Cultural imperialism

Frit, in all his supreme ignorance, could never understand why the entire world’s enlightened socialist trash is always on the side of the Mussulmanics and always rabidly anti Israel. At last it has been explained to him:

“Since some countries of the third world do not subscribe to western cultural norms of respect for human life, we in the west cannot judge such countries’ behavior by those norms. To do so would be an act of cultural imperialism. But since Israel does subscribe to those norms, it is accordingly judged by them; indeed, since the Jews claim superior standards to the rest of humanity, they need to be judged by higher standards than those applied to the rest of the human race.”

Hating by candlelight

Frit reads that the European Union is paying 15 million dollars a month to the Pale Stinians of Gaza to buy fuel for their power station. Given that there are 1.5 million Pale Stinians in Gaza, if Frit does his sums properly this means 10 dollars per month per person. Given that Abdul and Fatima normally have at least 8 children, this would make 10 persons per household netting 10 times 10 equals 100 dollars for electricity each month, or a staggering 1,200 dollars worth of electricity per year. They should switch off their standby buttons.

Now, it seams, this money, provided by the European taxpayers, is no longer being handed out to the particular bunch of corrupt criminals it was being handed out to, but instead to a different bunch of corrupt criminals, i.e. the Pale Stinian Authority, which is like throwing it into a hole in the ground, a hole so deep that they might have to shut down their power plant for lack of fuel. Unfortunate. Without electric light how can they possibly see to bite the hand that feeds them or spot Israelis making off with the livers of their children at night?

World’s worst warmer comes clean

The former head of the controversial unit at the centre of the "climategate" storm, Professor Phil “fiddle them data” Jones, pictured, has now admitted that there has been no global warming for the past fifteen years. Despite this, the new head of the unit, Prof. Peter Liss (not to be mispronounced liter-of-piss), is saying things like "If you're on the climate skeptics side, you have to have really good evidence for your case because if you're wrong then the consequences for all of us and all our children and whoever comes after is hugely influenced”. Good to see he’s approaching the job with an open mind.

Ayatollah caught telling untruths

Ayatollah (backwards = hallo ta ya) Khomeini, the weird and miserable religious zealot who set up the Great Craziness Of Iran so that all his compatriots could be as weird and miserable as he, said “There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam“. So how come the Fiqh Council of North America — a body of Islamic scholars — issued a fatwa this week that says going through airport scanners violates Islamic rules on modesty and is therefore unacceptable! Surely that’s the best joke we’ve heard for years!

And here’s another good one: “Israel is going too far by increasingly assassinating terrorists across the Middle East, a senior Palestinian official in Ramallah told London-based newspaper The Times”. Going too far! Hilarious! Mussulmanics are such wags! Such wags! The two pictured certainly find such jokes funny.

Huitzilopochtli

Britain’s first Sikh judge, now retired, insists that Sikh boys ought to be permitted to take their daggers to school with them because it’s part of their religion. Elsewhere a judge has ruled that a Hindu is permitted to have himself cremated on an open-air funeral pyre, despite it always having been against the law, because it’s part of his religion. Frit, who recently converted to worshiping Mesoamerican god Huitzilopochtli is now asking a judge for the right to cut the hearts out of living human children as offerings to Huitzilopochtli and to chop up the rest of their bodies into choice joints to share with relatives for Sunday dinner because it’s part of his new religion. As both Sikhs and Hindus have also practiced a lot of human sacrificing in their time, Frit thinks it only fair that they should have the same rights granted to them too.

Instant mash

Frit has written to Iranian goblin Madmood Madjihadimad requesting explanation as to why none of us were fried yesterday, as promised, and demanding Iran now purchase the excess stocks of dried potato and corned beef Frit panic bought and now has somehow to shift.

Putting the feet up for Allah

Of course he puts his feet on the desk. First, he’s a slob from the gutter; second, revealing the soles of the shoes to people is the Mussulmanic way of showing disrespect.

February 11

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day the asylum took over Persia and all the sane Persians sought asylum elsewhere. It is also the day upon which Madmood Madjihadimad, the blood-soaked goblin who rules that country by force and deceit, has promised to deal us a telling blow. Today, Frit is puzzled to read that we are unveiling a plan to help the same goblin who threatens us to buy some nice “medical isotopes”. Under the table in the cellar, surrounded by the fruits of panic buying, Frit is confused and is now prepared to convert to Mussulmanicism at any time anybody sees fit.

Taliban better watch out at ten o’clock on Monday

Frit reads that General McChrystal, in charge of efforts in Afghastlystan, has been dropping leaflets on the Taliban (Tiresome Allah’s Little Illiterate Addled Nitwits) warning them they will be attacked this week. The planned attack has been reported extensively on the news all over the world for days. This is such a smart and devious strategy for winning a battle. Frit has it on good authority that Julius Caesar, Genghis Khan and the Duke of Wellington always made a point of informing the enemy exactly when and where they were about to attack, well in advance. As we all know, the biggest mistake made by the allies in the Second World War was to keep all the preparations for the D-Day landings a secret. So many allied lives would have been saved had they notified the enemy in good time!

Message to the soldiers of the NATO forces: get your guns and force McChrystal to walk ahead of you.

White House turned into shrine

Frit, posing as a lowly voluntary slave hard at work cultivating fried chicken, collard greens and cotton in the White House vegetable garden with nothing to look forward to in life except for being buried in an Obama T-shirt one day, secretly snuck indoors to find the entire building hung from top to bottom with images of the current occupants. He also took this photograph of the Worst Lady working out nearby. Notice the hula hoop she uses is shaped like an “O”. These people are self obsessed.

Smelly human badger in trouble

The UN’s chief warmer, a vegetarian who probably makes more money from warming than even Great Gore, and who wears the suits to prove it, is now under pressure to cease holding that office. People in India, his home country, are very disappointed in him. Not because his aim has always been to decrease methane output from farm animals by increasing methane output from human beings through forcing us all to eat nothing but horrible greens, but because he has been caught falsifying climate change claims in the most childish manner. He should straight away be invited to leave the UN building for ever and to suffer the embarrassment of standing behind himself in the lift as he does so.

Palestinians and polar bears unite

Frit thanks Osama Bin Laden for publicly confirming what we all already new, i.e. that Jihad and warming are two sides of the same coin (Jihad = Jews In Hearses Are Dandy). Palestinians and polar bears are thus officially one and the same cause. Logical, both like to wallow in blood.

Supreme Leader, such a nice guy

Ayatollah Rucola Mousavi Khomania, the “magnificently clear-sighted, single-minded and unswerving one”, believed that “non-Muslims, like urine, excrement, blood, wine, sweat, etc., were one of eleven impure things contact with which requires major ritual washing”, married a girl of 13 and said “I say let this land [Iran] burn. I say let this land go up in smoke, provided Islam emerges triumphant in the rest of the world". Pictured here in the full Monty, left, and in his spare time attire, right, he was nothing but a bigoted dirty old child and goat molesting Scottish nationalist sow.

Teachers cut and run

Machu Picchu, meaning “Old Shed” and pronounced Måãåçhŭ Pïï©ĉŭ, is a stone shed in Peru constructed by some backward people in 1430, several thousand years after stone sheds of very much higher quality were constructed elsewhere in the world. Those who rule us have declared Machu Picchu a world heritage site and have made it one of their places of pilgrimage, ignoring, as best they can, the fact that the entire shed was most likely constructed for the sole purpose of sacrificing human children to the man in the sun by pinning them to a big stone and cutting out their living hearts. Those who rule us flock there in droves to atone for the sins of the invading white man, to haggle over the prices of a ride on a llama with poor people and pretend they are there for the sake of those poor people instead of for their own. But, last week, the scene was spoiled when the spirits of the long gone Incas rose up to perform a rain dance that swelled the rivers, washed away the roads and the accommodation and plunged thousands into a grisly real life situation with neither food nor shelter. For an explanation of what happened next, i.e. when helicopters were eventually sent to airlift them out and those who rule us readily paid bribes to make sure they got out first so that only the “backpackers” were left behind (in other words the young, their students), please see the “What is the terrible fact” section in the right-hand column of this blog.

No Hope

James Arthur David Hope, Baron Hope of Craighead, KT, PC, QC, FRSE (born 27 June 1938, Scottish judge and Deputy President of the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom, tells us “Even in the face of the threat of international terrorism, the safety of the people is not the supreme law.” Should he continue to hold his offices or do we think he ought now to be getting his coat, changing his name to James Arthur Vapid Dope and be looking for a job as a waiter somewhere? Baghdad would do.

Evil eyes

Is it true that President Asif Ali Zardari of Pakistan, a nation with a nuclear arsenal, starts each new day by sacrificing a black goat to ward off “evil eyes” and protect him from “black magic”? Are we all appropriately terrified?

Biblical references

The Mussulmanic is seething because, unknown to anyone, the sights on our guns have serial numbers that include references to passages from the Big Bad Bible. The Mussulmanic is entitled to shout “Allahu Akbar” every time he fires a bullet at a person but religious references of any sort from a non-Mussulmanic are just plain rude and drive him into a state of outraged homicidal frenzy. So we are now busy grinding those offensive serial numbers away as fast as we can in hope of calming him down. When this is done we are then planning to give the Taliban branch of the Mussulmanic global conspiracy what it wanted all along – some of our money. Once they have it, does anybody think they’ll be coming back for more?

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the legal truth

The Dutch ‘Openbaar Ministerie’ has now brought the Age of Reason to an end in Europe and brought us all to teeter on the brink of a new age of darkness with the words “It is irrelevant whether Wilders' witnesses might prove Wilders’ observations to be correct, what’s relevant is that his observations are illegal”.

Madmen in orange prefer to stay home

How admirable of the mad Guantanamo inmates to intend taking legal action for the right to remain at Guantanamo and not be moved to a real prison on mainland America! What a slap in the eye for each and every dopey liberal Guantanamo botherer the world over. How truly satisfying!

Muslim Matrimonials

After noticing that Google is running Mussulmanic dating service adds on this site, Frit feels obliged to mention the rule that states that whenever Frit forbids one of his offspring to marry a Mussulmanic, which he never has, Frit is a racist, whereas whenever a Mussulmanic forbids his offspring to marry one of Frit’s offspring, which he always does, he is not a racist but Frit is again a racist for suggesting he might be.

Conversion

Frit notes that court proceeding against Geert Wilders are underway in Holland. The issues of freedom of speech and the Islamisation of Europe appear to be so sensitive that the mainstream media is not going out of its way to inform us of any of it, all for our own good.

Meanwhile, a study group commissioned by Frit, and made up of lawyers, has been looking into how “converting to Islam” is actually achieved. It turns out to be quite simple. All one has to do is say “I testify that there is no true god (deity) but God (Allah), and that Muhammad is a Messenger (Prophet) of God.” And that’s it! Couldn’t be simpler! No need to sacrifice an animal and daub its blood on a tree full of bats under a crescent moon or anything complicated. Armed with this knowledge, Frit has worked out a plan for every person on Earth who is not a Muslim, i.e. every Christian, Hindu, Jew, Belgian etc., to speak these said words and convert, all together, at a given time on a given date. WOULDN’T THEY JUST BE SO IRRITATED! SO IRRITATED! They would have to suffer the inconvenience of finding a whole new other reason to want to kill us all.

Massachusetts says loud “NO” to government by grubby subculture

The people of Massachusetts have emphatically rejected the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President and his team of dross. The humiliation goes double when you keep in mind that they were quite content to be represented by a drunk multimillionaire libertine murderer for the past 46 years.

Curious attraction to animals

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Horrible Haiti earthquake TV spectacular

Did an individual described as an “actor” really appear on TV to tell Frit that the earthquake disaster in Haiti is the fault of the failure of the global warming conference in Denmark? And did an individual described as a “professor” really appear on TV to tell Frit that Haiti is such a disgusting poverty stricken hellhole because France forced it to pay reparations in exchange for independence in eighteen twenty freaking five?

The photograph shows Haiti before the earthquake. For a definitive statement on that country, please see: http://www.thedailynigger.com/2010/01/16/we-who-quietly-sit-on-our-couches-have-a-question/

Naked truth

Sources tell Frit that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President strongly disapproves of this purported photograph of his mother circulating on the Internet not because it shows just what a slut she was but because it shows just how white she was.

At war

On a recent hunting trip, Dick Cheney recently said to Frit:

“As I’ve watched the events of the last few days it is clear once again that President Obama is trying to pretend we are not at war.
• He seems to think if he has a low-key response to an attempt to blow up an airliner and kill hundreds of people, we won’t be at war.
• He seems to think if he gives terrorists the rights of Americans, lets them lawyer up and reads them their Miranda rights, we won’t be at war.
• He seems to think if we bring the mastermind of Sept. 11 to New York, give him a lawyer and trial in civilian court, we won’t be at war.
• He seems to think if he closes Guantanamo and releases the hard-core Al Qaeda-trained terrorists still there, we won’t be at war.
• He seems to think if he gets rid of the words, ‘war on terror,’ we won’t be at war.
But we are at war and when President Obama pretends we aren’t, it makes us less safe. Why doesn’t he want to admit we’re at war? It doesn’t fit with the view of the world he brought with him to the Oval Office. It doesn’t fit with what seems to be the goal of his presidency — social transformation — the restructuring of American society. President Obama’s first object and his highest responsibility must be to defend us against an enemy that knows we are at war.”

Testes bomb tester

The more Frit looks at this photograph of the testicles bomber, the more he wonders how she came by a pair of testicles in the first place.

Treason

Frit thanks Britain’s Sun newspaper for informing the world that British taxpayers pay British soldiers 17,000 pounds of take-home pay for fighting the ghastly Taliban whilst they pay 25,740 pounds in benefits to the Mussulmanic “preacher” who calls those soldiers murderers and campaigns to turn Britain into Pakistan. Soldiers pay tax on their earnings, the Mussulmanic pays none. Frit believes the Mussulmanic in question, pictured here in the days before he discovered religion, should be deprived of his British citizenship on grounds of treason. After all, the law is that treason is committed “if a man do levy war against our lord the King in his realm, or be adherent to the King’s enemies in his realm, giving to them aid and comfort in the realm, or elsewhere". Pakistan should be asked to take him in. If Pakistan refuses, then the Atlantic Ocean is always available.

Treason also interestingly applies “if a man do violate the King’s companion, or the King’s eldest daughter unmarried, or the wife of the King’s eldest son and heir”, so the two Mussulmanics Khan and Al-Fayed who consorted with the wife of Prince Charles ought to have been in trouble too, if either violated her before her divorce as well as after it, which the former certainly appears to make no secret of.

Hijab stands for Hidden Inside Jessamyn’s Absurd Burka

Frit notes that, in the aftermath of the attempted Christmas bombing, there have already been complaints about profiling from a Mussulmanic woman who was asked to remove the sack her head was wrapped in and was then patted down all over “in public” at Washington Dulles International Airport. The CAIR organization (Charming Allah’s Islamic Radicals) has already taken up the issue and complained about “religious profiling in its most egregious form”. Some time ago, Frit’s legal team wrote the following to CAIR:

As you state on your website that you “are committed to a policy of Equal Employment Opportunity and that you prohibit discrimination in all your programs and activities on any legally recognized basis including, but not limited to, race, age, color, religion, sex, marital status, national origin, citizenship, ancestry, physical or mental disability, veteran status, or any other legally protected basis”, would you please be kind enough to inform us how many non-Muslims you currently employ?

No response to date.

Somali pirate pulverizing appliance malfunctions

The Somali pirate pulverizing appliance, pictured, has badly malfunctioned in that fifteen to twenty vessels crewed by 250 to 300 people are now in the hands of the pirates at any one time. Conducting investigations into the cause, Frit has ruled out electrical faults apart from those concerning electrical impulses within circuits inside the brains of those who have ultimate command of the appliance. The official medical term for this brain malfunction is “spinelessness”. A phrase that describes this malfunction is “accepting the big money but not the big responsibility”.

A Danish policeman also appears to have malfunctioned for similar reasons in that, when confronted with a Somali attempting to commit a murder armed with an axe and a knife, he shot at his leg instead of his head. The Danish taxpayer will now be coughing up the big legal costs and social benefits for years to come.

Lucrative help

Did the Goon Queen of Gutter Subculture and Hollywood Gaud really say “We left corporate America, which is a lot of what we’re asking young people to do. Don’t go into corporate America … But if you make that choice, as we did, to move out of the money-making industry into the helping industry, then your salaries respond”?

Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO SOME!

The price of sausage

Frit is delighted to learn that the Mussulmanic chef who sued his employer, London’s Metropolitan Police, for insisting he handle pig meat with gloves and tongues if he couldn’t manage it with his bare hands, has lost his case due to colleagues having informed the court they watched him tucking into sausages and bacon more than once. He must now pay 76,200 pounds worth of expenses, on top of his own costs!

Still on the subject of food, is it true that 3-wives food-for-oil George Galloway is on hunger strike in Jordan because the Egyptian authorities won’t let his convoy of Gaza “aid” through? If so, do we all hope the pontificating sack of shit is stubborn enough to see it properly through?

Ashoura

A Mussulmanic tried to spoil Christmas for the infidel by blowing up an airliner but succeeded only in blowing up his own testicles. Expert experienced investigative journalists working for the mainstream media all over the world discovered his name and nationality fairly quickly but have thus far failed to discover either his religion or his motive. They did discover that, although his father is one of the richest men in Nigeria, he is without funds and the American taxpayer must pick up those upcoming huge legal bills. They discovered this but are unlikely to make much of it because, as we all know, money is unimportant.

Meanwhile, a Mussulmanic cleric who recently attempted to grab the title of “Most Stupid Mussulmanic in the World” by claiming that Darwin developed the theory of evolution to tar us all with the same brush and gloss over the fact that Jews alone are descended from pigs and monkeys, fell short of his goal when Ashoura commenced (ceremony in which you beat yourself till you bleed or beat your child till it bleeds) and everyone realized there are countless millions of other Mussulmanics far more stupid than he.

Season’s Greetings

Frit wishes a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all properly civilized people on the planet, which he believes to number fewer than fifteen.

IRA (Infant Rogering Army)

Frit notes that the Irish terrorist murderer brother of Irish terrorist murderer Gerry Adams has legged it because he is being sought by the police for rogering his own children. This circumstance has now forced Adams to reveal, before others do, that his own Irish terrorist murderer father rogered his offspring of an evening on a regular basis too. Such a nice IRA family, preoccupied with nothing but the rights of the oppressed.

Frit found this photograph of an IRA man dragging one of his children into an alleyway for a bit of family bonding.

Mussulmanics versus Warmers

As the absurd Copenhagen conference comes to an absurd end, Frit is concerned that there could eventually be global conflict between adherents of the Mussulmanic political ideology and adherents of the Warming political ideology. The two are in league at present, as evidenced in Copenhagen, but both are totalitarian ideologies in their own right so, in the end, both must try to absorb the other and, whilst there is nothing in Warming ideology to deny a person’s right to embrace Mussulmanicism (as long as he remembers to continue saving on the energy required to sharpen a knife before cutting off a person’s head with it, the Mussulmanic’s only contribution to preserving the environment to date), the Mussulmanic ideology is very much opposed to the existence of any other ideology per se. Apart from that, Frit reads in Mussulmanic Fatwa No. 110197 that –

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Hour will not begin until the land of the Arabs once again becomes meadows and rivers.”

What we think is that Arabia becoming meadows and rivers again is something concerning which there is no doubt, but we cannot be certain that it will happen because of the melting of the ice cap, because that is known only to Allaah. But we mention this view because it is relevant and because it has been said by some specialists, both Muslims and kaafirs.

Frit supposes the land of the Arabs will again become meadows and rivers at about the same time the hidden savior of mankind, currently still at the bottom of that well down south, jumps out to do his stuff. It seems he is unable to do this at the moment as, according to Madmood Madjihadimad, the tyrannical dwarf ruler of Iran, the USA is blocking his way out!

Just deserts

In mainstream media reporting, where the wellbeing of Guantanamo inmates and antisocials of all types is a major issue, it is perfectly justifiable to report with glee that “some say billionaire Berlusconi deserved” having his face bashed in by an idiot.

Britain sinks further into bottomless shame

Tzipi Livni, the former Israeli foreign minister, has cancelled a visit to Britain because pro-Palestinian activist groups obtained from a court a warrant for her arrest on alleged war crimes charges.

And a man who was threatened at knifepoint and tied up by a gang of masked men in his living room last year, along with his wife and children, was told he must go to prison for 30 months to preserve “civilized society” because he managed to set upon one of his attackers with a cricket bat. The attacker concerned, a criminal with more than 50 convictions, was handed a two-year supervision order for his role in the break-in at an earlier hearing. The reasoning must be that, if people take the law into their own hands, judges loose income.

The necessity of war

Had they given the Nobel Peace Prize to George Bush, he could have told us that war is sometimes necessary in his acceptance speech, just like the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President did. The only difference would have been that George Bush would have sincerely regretted that simple truth and would never have got himself elected to office by pretending the opposite.

Copenhagen

Frit is currently in Copenhagen. He came here by mistake. Being shortsighted, he misread “climate change conference” as “deranged primate conference” and thought it worth a look. No matter, on arrival he found he read it correctly anyway. The entire city of Copenhagen has been turned into a political correctness hootenanny. Huge banners, signs and displays all over the place telling people what those who rule us consider the right messages, just like in North Korea. Every leftist political cause is represented on every street by every pathetic jerk in Christendom ready to wreck the planet and fly in from anywhere to enjoy a self-righteous zealous kneesup.

The whole picture is then to be completed soon when the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President turns up to dazzle every deranged primate in town. On the way he is stopping off in Oslo to pick up his peace prize. The Norwegians are unhappy because he cancelled dinner with the Norwegian Nobel committee, a press conference, a television interview, appearances at a children's event promoting peace and a music concert, as well as a visit to an exhibition in his honor at the Nobel peace centre. He also turned down a lunch invitation from the King of Norway. Rumor is he cancelled because Michelle only travels in Cadillacs these days and somehow got the idea they would be driven between venues in an old Fiord.

Flat-earthers

The Wally In Charge Of Warming at the UN has appeared on TV in a very expensive suit to rubbish Climategate. Desperately trying to preserve the gravy train and shortly before his appointment to be measured for his next expensive suit, this cross between a badger and a garden gnome, inventor of the farting cow, valiantly defended the planet from a bunch of harmless emails hacked and distributed by Frit’s anti-warming organization War On Warmers (WOW). Climategate is nonsense and poor countries have every right to come to Copenhagen to steal from the rich! All the same, Frit detects that those who feed us the news are becoming unsettled by Climategate in that they are slowly starting to report it.

Meanwhile, unelected Prime Minister of Britain, warmer and tub of Scots lard Boredom Brown, has publicly referred to Frit and other prominent global warming skeptics as “flat-earthers”. So incensed is Frit by this insult that he had his men challenge Brown to a duel. As brown has but a single eye he cannot reasonably be expected to have a fair chance throwing claymores at ten paces. This is why Frit has proposed throwing claymores at ten paces, but has undertaken to aim only at the missing eye.

All sorts of people in glass houses throw stones

A ‘prominent’ Turkish-German film director has said he will not bring his new film to Switzerland in protest against the referendum vote that banned the construction of minarets in that country. "This referendum conflicts with my understanding of humanism, tolerance and the belief that harmonious co-existence of peoples of differing backgrounds, races and religions must be possible," the film director said in an open letter. He made no mention of any open letter he bothered to write criticizing any laws or attitudes that conflict with his understanding of humanism etc. in Turkey, where a poll revealed that 59% believe that non-Mussulmanics should not even be permitted to hold meetings of any sort. For their part, the Swiss are delighted at this unexpected spinoff from their vote. Keeps a load of trendy mind-softening childish codswallop off their cinema screens.

And then there is Iran, which warned Switzerland on Saturday of “consequences” and urged Bern not to enforce the ban. The vote went “against the prestige of a country which claims to be an advocate of democracy and human rights,” the Foreign Minister apparently told his Swiss counterpart in a telephone call. Carefully studying his map of the world with a magnifying glass for some time, Frit finds no other Iran than the one where they are currently gunning down political protesters in the streets in unknown large numbers, where they regularly stone young women to death, hang homosexuals and keep their country united by making scapegoats of Jews in exactly the same way the Nazis did. Human rights?

Egyptians also have a lot to say. Egypt's grand mufti denounced the referendum result as an "insult" to Islam. Killing Coptic Christians in Egypt and treating them like animals was not mentioned. Neither was the aggravation they suffer if they try to build a church. As Cairo has at least 4,700 mosques with minarets and the authorities are currently striving to control the extraordinary brouhaha that results from thousands of muezzins all shouting a load of rubbish through loudhailers all at the same time, out of sync, 5 times a day, Frit would have thought the Egyptians would have some sympathy with the Swiss. But no.

Rack his brain as he might, Frit can think of not a single Mussulmanic land nor organization nor individual that is not guilty of the most gross hypocrisy in protesting the Swiss ban. In Frit’s view they should leave the Swiss alone and get on with answering those important questions they post on the Internet like “Is it valid to pray behind one who makes grammatical mistakes when he recites the Qur’aan?“

Sharks and other fish

Today is the big day we have all been waiting for – the beginning of the United Nations Climate Change Conference! WE ARE SAVED! Frit thought we were in danger of having the entire thing called off in the light of Climategate and might not be saved after all. But no, Great Gore is the only one to have chickened out. Great Gore has made so much money from the global warming hoax that he can afford to pull out. Not so the estimated 16,500 delegates, activists and reporters attending, whose incomes and careers still depend on it. Frit is told that, when they descend upon Copenhagen today, they will be emitting 40,584 tons of carbon dioxide equivalents over the duration of the event, roughly the same amount as the carbon emissions of Morocco in 2006. Frit is also reliably informed by a new Australian Warmers’ study that warmer ocean temperatures caused by global warming could cause sharks “and other fish” to become more aggressive! Copenhagen being on the coast, Frit is hoping those 16,500 delegates, activists and reporters all decide to take a swim and are set upon by herrings.

American hero breaks silence

American hero Donald Rumsfeld has done us all the service of telling the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President that he lately did a “disservice to the truth”. Frit thanks Mr Rumsfeld for this, and for his diplomatic choice of words. Frit’s own inelegant choice of words, i.e. “dishonorable lying sporn of slimeball cesspit subculture”, just doesn’t have the same impact. It damages the important cause and reflects badly on Frit.

The enemy within

The groundswell in Europe is emphatically in favor of the democratic Swiss ban on minarets. Polls taken everywhere reveal huge majorities in support of such a ban in other countries. Italy is likely to hold a similar referendum soon. In response and panic, the mainstream media is reporting only the utterances of those not in favor, such as the UN and Daniel Cohn-Bendit, appallingly short human tick and co-president of the Greens in the European Parliament (CO-president, so democratic). Like the Turks, Cohn-Bendit has called on rich Muslims to empty their bank accounts in Switzerland in retaliation for Sunday's referendum. Cohn-Bendit is the archenemy within. Like so many of his ilk, after attending a secondary school for children of the upper middle class he started out red and later turned green. Like so many of his ilk he likes to molest children, once having taken a job in a kindergarten specifically for the purpose. Like so many of his ilk he also likes writing books about his own ever-so-fascinating life. "On several occasions certain kids would open my fly and start to stroke me. I reacted differently according to circumstances, but their desire posed a problem for me. I asked them: 'Why don't you play together? Why have you chosen me, and not the other kids?' But if they insisted, I caressed them still", he once wrote. So why is he sitting in the European Parliament aiding the downfall of civilization instead of sitting in prison?

In the picture, Cohn-Bendit can be seen talking about size to a class of small boys.