Monday 31 March 2008

Heil Chavez


Unsavoury communist Nazi conman Chavez is turning the screws on his country’s privately owned media sector. Venezuela’s media, the BBC reports, is either controlled by unsavoury communist Nazi conman Chavez (not their words, of course) or belongs to private individuals apposed to having their country run by an unsavoury communist Nazi conman. Given this set of circumstances, the BBC, in its attempts to appear objective and keep its hands in the pockets of the licence payers, the gullible and the young, decides to dodge the issue by rubbishing the free, independent press in Venezuela, deducing that there is “no impartiality” in any of the country’s media in any case!

Friday 28 March 2008

Racism

It goes without saying, of course, that those who rule us would be the very first to squeal were they ever in turn to be ruled over by religious bigots, or, indeed, if religion were to be involved in their government in any way. But, curiously, they seem to think this quite good enough for Iranians and other Mussulmen.

Is this a form of racism?

Thursday 27 March 2008

Camels


Camels are permissible, in reasonable numbers. Elephants likewise.

Thursday 13 March 2008

Shoe on other foot

The Clintons, beneficiaries of favourable coverage from their accomplices in the media for so many long years, are today whinging that this favourable coverage is now going to B.A. Barackabama instead!

Frit loves this day.

Wednesday 12 March 2008

Multiplying mussulmen

A website dedicated to “educating” us about how nice it is to be a Mussulman and how we should all want to be one, states:

“If the west's population is top-heavy, (i.e., the ratio of youth to elderly is low) that of Muslim populations is the opposite. For example, today more than half the population of Algeria is under the age of twenty and this situation is similar elsewhere. These young populations will reproduce and perpetuate the increase of Muslims on a percentage basis well into the next millennium.”

Tuesday 11 March 2008

History is over

A belief that history is over is widespread amongst those who rule us, in all their naivety. They have lived so long in a period of peace and prosperity that the horrors and abominations evident throughout human history are unreal to them. They happened in the past and belong there; they have no part in today’s world. We’ve moved on from all that.

When New Orleans flooded and the psychopaths, murderers, misogynists, sex offenders and criminals of every type leaped out of the woodwork at the drop of a hat to behave as they have behaved since the beginning of time, those who rule over us were genuinely shocked. These are the people they have been defending and indulging and making money from for so long. But they quickly managed their shock, quickly papered it over. All too real for their view of the furry new world they’ve created for us to live in. No mention of it anywhere anymore.

Monday 10 March 2008

Mice and men

In their simplicity and their confusion about realities, the ruling class folk fail to understand that, whilst death might be the opposite of life, life is by no means the opposite of death. By way of educating them correctly in this matter, Frit, in his wisdom, recommends they visit their local pet shop where they are to buy mice in a cage. Arriving home, it will indeed be apparent that death is soon on its way if no food is given. But as soon as food is given it very quickly dawns that the true opposite of death is not “life”, but “more life”. A bigger cage is soon needed, a bigger room, a bigger house . . .

Afghastlystan is such a cage. Those who rule us, in all their kindness and eagerness to get their hands into the pockets or the pants of the gullible and the young, have been pouring food into Afghastlystan for more than three decades, breeding Afghastlystanies at a most irresponsible rate. In the list of population growth rates, Afghastlystan is now third (3.85 %).

Soon be too few Kalashnikovs to go round. Thank you the ruling class!

Sunday 9 March 2008

International Women's Day


Yesterday was International Women’s Day. Whilst this event might have point and serious meaning in some parts of the world, here it just means the television is full of ninnies all day telling us they “still haven’t succeeded in achieving equal pay for women doing the same work as men”.

Frit’s advice: leave my TV screen, go found a company and pay your female employees as much as you pay your male employees.

But this, of course, would mean getting onto the field and playing in the real game instead of making a university career standing on the sideline impressing the gullible and the young with airy-fairy ideas.

Saturday 8 March 2008

Confusion

An 86 year-old lady recently complained to Frit about the outcome of a local election. Frit was delighted to be able to point out she was misinformed, her own party had won, and won by miles. At her advanced age she had been unable to see through all the media blather. The wonderful people who control the news in the name of freedom and impartiality, the ruling class, had succeeded in misleading her (and no doubt huge numbers like her) into believing the opposite of the truth. Such is their power.

Of course, it goes without saying that the party that had actually won was not the party of the ruling class's choice.

Friday 7 March 2008

Curious peace process

A Palestinian maniac has shot a lot of Jews at a school in Israel. Those who feed us the news are wondering “what effect this will have on the peace process”. Last week the Israelis invaded Gaza, the same question was asked.
It seems that the term “peace process” is now curiously being used as a description of the entire Palestinian situation, the entire Israeli versus Palestinian conflict. It is not a war, it is a peace process.
Frit, in his wisdom, fears this "peace process" will never end as long as Palestinians continue breeding at their current rate. The population of Gaza depends on United Nations food aid to survive, and every day another horde is born. But breeding rates are not an issue members of the ruling class feel comfortable with. They prefer to hide from real issues like this behind a fine phase or glaring misdescription.

Thursday 6 March 2008

Silence is golden

Today, on radio, an anonymous mouthpiece of the ruling class delivered another really fine-sounding educational notion to us all. It concerned silence. Apparently, were we all to stop talking and simply listen to others, the world would be a better, more furry place. He talked to us about this nonstop for fifteen minutes. We thank him for that.

Wednesday 5 March 2008

Sir Great Gob Geldof in all his selflessness

Sir Great Gob Geldof is the mouthpiece of the drugs, squalor and pomposity wing of the ruling class. He has made A LOT OF MONEY out of good causes. He has made a lot of money and a career from perfecting fine-sounding one-dimensional “bit of a lad” thinking and feeding it to the young. Ruling class folk always prey on the young.

Tuesday 4 March 2008

Animal rights bores

The best thing to do with people who treat themselves to an emotional high over the rights of an animal is to feed them to one.

Monday 3 March 2008

Disastrous multiplication of wars

The members of the international ruling class have a rule that says whenever the Chechen war is referred to in the media it shall always be referred to as “The Disastrous Chechen War”. To make sure this always works and is always swallowed by the gullible and the young, they hit upon the ruse of splitting the Chechen war into two, i.e.:

· “The First Chechen War” (the ghastly event that was badly run by the Russians and went badly) and
· “The Second Chechen War” (the ghastly event that was well run by the Russians and appears to have gone well).

This clever subterfuge then enables them to never have to describe the first in terms of the second, but they can glue the two back together anytime they like to describe the second in terms of the first. They are devious.

Sunday 2 March 2008

Palestinians


One day, in an English language newspaper printed in a foreign land, Frit was amused to see a droll error in an article in which Palestinians were referred to as “Pale Stinians”.

This, as far as Frit knows, is the one and only occasion in history that anything to do with Palestinians has ever raised a smile.

Saturday 1 March 2008

Fine-sounding utterance of the week

“Quality should never be a matter of cost.” (Austrian Radio)