Thursday, 29 July 2010

More vindication for warmers

Yet another expensive enquiry in the UK has cleared the Climategate scientists of fudging their data. Good job, as some of the poor dears have in the meantime considered suicide and some have received death threats. Apparently, one of the methods suggested for both was chaining to stakes on Spitsbergen and daubing with seal oil so as to combine the event with a chance to count just how many polar bears are still around.

The picture shows the Climatic research unit at the Socialist University of East Anglia, Norwich, Norfolk, where the data in question was acquired from some old thermometers left lying about on top of the canteen radiator. Built of blocks of ice to give it that politically correct, iglooey, eskimoey, indigenous ethnic victimization look, the building is in danger of melting and causing global floods if the funding dries up.

Friday, 23 July 2010

Surprise of the century

Kosovo's declaration of independence from Serbia in 2008 was not illegal under international law, top UN judges have decided. The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President intended backing Kosovo’s independence even if the court decided it was illegal, he made a point of saying. Could have been a terrible irreconcilable conflict there but it turned out all right in the end. Frit took this photograph of one of the impartial low-paid top UN judges concerned.

Thursday, 22 July 2010

Getting what others pay for

Frit learns that Ex-Prime Minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd, is currently being considered for a big job at the United Nations. Frit supposes this has nothing to do with the 500 million Australian dollars Rudd is said to have given away to sponger/warmer nations whilst in office. Although, were Frit ever to become Prime Minister of Australia and were he to say “you must be joking” to sponger/warmer nations when they requested him to tax Australians and give the proceeds to them, Frit suspects he would never be offered a job at the United Nations later on. Never in a million years. Never, never, never.

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Free yourselves!

Monday, 19 July 2010

Taliban loses head

It seems a Gurkha soldier in the British army, under heavy fire, cut off the head of a dead Taliban commander and took it back to HQ for identification purposes rather than the whole corpse. Now he is in all kinds of trouble because the Afghaslystanis are OFFENDED by the act. Presumably the offence is because
a) the individual was already dead, instead of alive, when his head was cut off
b) the knife used was sharp instead of blunt
c) no crowd of hysterical onlookers was around to shout Allahu Akbar
d) no cameras were there to make any fond home movies

The picture shows part of the "Tower Of Skulls" built in Niš in 1809 by the Turks from the skulls of 1000 Serbs beheaded in a beheading ceremony to the above strict Mussulmanic specifications. UNESCO is currently considering awarding “cultural heritage” status to this monument.

Friday, 16 July 2010

Trojan Horse

We await the day when Turkey joins the European Union to serve as a Trojan horse.” Gaddafi Duck.

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Hair of the Prophet

Learning that the Iranian authorities have banned barbers from offering western style haircuts to men, Frit has written to all western governments suggesting we retaliate by banning Muslim style throatcuts. Barbers have also been banned from plucking hairs from the faces of clients to give them the appearance of having two separate eyebrows rather like the horrid infidel they would all so like to be. The picture shows the ultimate in Chic Shiite Schönheit: short, mad, short back and sides, monobrow, the white man’s suit but not his tie.

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Srebrenica, 15 years on

The goal of the Islamic revolution in our country is the creation of a unified Islamic state comprising the area of Bosnia-Herzegovina, Sandzak, and Kosovo. Jihad should be pursued to its final outcome in order to exterminate the enemy and the infidels. We should not wait for a challenge or a provocation. Muslims must invent a challenge. They must be the ones who produce the challenge, and the goal will then come by itself…Muslims must be superior to all others, and every effort should be made to create an environment in which everyone will be of pure Muslim blood.” Hasan Čengić, former Deputy Prime Minister and Defense Minister of the Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina.

The picture shows the slick hectomillionaire spiv who allied the US with the speaker of these words.

Monday, 12 July 2010

Spain 1, Holland 0

The World Cup final was a game made boring by the referee and watched by communist polygamist Jacob Zuma who has more children than there were people in the stadium. In fact, a recent census revealed that most people in South Africa are either married to Zuma or were fathered by him. For most of the match he looked like a man wondering why the players were kicking a ball around on the pitch instead of throwing spears at each other. He was also probably wondering if the “10 cattle” he paid for Swazi Princess Sebentile Dlamini in 2002 might have been a few cattle too many. Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma, such a modern leader.

The Arab in the photograph can be seen asking Zuma how many humans he’s prepared to pay him for his cow of a wife.

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Great Gore warms up by strange means

Is it true that a female masseuse is accusing Great Gore of having behaved like a “crazed sex poodle” when she gave him a massage (for around 500 dollars earned feeding eyewash to the gullible and young) in his hotel room and he insistently demanded extra favors? And is it true that some Gore supporters have said not to tell anybody because if it gets around the “world’s going to be destroyed by global warming”? Frit turned up this photograph of Gore all dressed up and ready for a massage. His ex-wife, Kipper, says she never used to mind him dressing this way in the bedroom as long as it helped his low emissions problem.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Judge watch

To his horror, Frit learns that, this week, five criminal defendants in Britain who were charged with breaking into an arms factory and destroying property valued at some $285,000 were found by a jury to be innocent of all charges. They were found innocent despite the fact that all five admitted to having committed the crime, because they said they did it to stop the factory providing arms to Israelis who would use them to commit war crimes against Palestinians. In his summing up, Judge George Bathurst-Norman suggested to the jury that “you may well think that hell on earth would not be an understatement of what the Gazans suffered in that time”.

Incensed, Frit had his people find out where Judge Bathurst-Norman lives, went to his house, broke in and trashed his collection of law books, booze and kefiyas. When he appears in court he will be pleading he did it in order to prevent Britain from sinking even further into absurdity and institutionalized anti-Semitism destined ultimately to cost the lives of many Jews, and he will expect to be found innocent.

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

Historic contributions

To Frit’s complete astonishment, the boss of NASA has appeared on TV to confess that, when the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President appointed him to that position he charged him “foremostly” with finding “a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with predominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science, math, and engineering”!!!

Frit believes the most significant of these historic contributions was the invention of the halfwheel. These were once produced in large numbers in the Middle East but ended up as decorative elements on the tops of church towers as they gave such a notoriously bumpy ride. Later on, a Christian hit on the idea of nailing two of them together and a Jew added some spokes, but these were mere minor modifications. The basic concept came, as always, from Abdul and his Prophet, and we thank them for it. Without Abdul and his Prophet we’d still be living in the trees.

Thursday, 1 July 2010

The face on the prairie

For some time now, sharp entrepreneurs have been making good money using Google Earth to trawl the highways and byways spotting gold watches and other items of lost property, and Frit considers himself a pioneer in the sector. Recently, when looking for any valuables lying about in the eastern part of Oklahoma, Frit came across the miraculous image shown. Etched into the countryside by the hand of God, it could be the face of Christ or even the face of the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President. What’s the difference? Frit believes he is the first to have discovered the image and that it has even more commercial potential than the crummy Nun Bun and the Oskar fish with “Allah” written on one side and “Mohammed” on the other combined. Frit has already obtained an adjacent lot for a very modest price where he intends erecting “Frit’s Four Star Okie Face Palace of Pilgrimage and Wellness Tower Hotel”. The higher the room in the tower the higher the price and the better the view of the miraculous image and the associated healing effects. With this project, Frit feels himself onto a true winner at last.