Friday, 15 April 2011

Aspherical correctness

Learning that a school in Seattle has renamed Easter eggs “Spring Spheres” so as not to upset any Mussulmanics and drive them into genocidal rage, Frit proposes changing offensive “Easter Island” into “Quite Early In The Year Island” and “Good Friday” into “So-so Thursday” provided “Ramadan” is then changed to “Desperate Dan” in return.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Gbagbo gbagged by the forces of light and truth

Ever since those who rule us started prefacing Laurent Gbagbo’s name with “international pariah” we all knew his ggoose was gcooked. Those who rule us deem the war in Ivory Coast to be all about childish good versus evil, right versus wrong, black versus white, truth versus falsehood. Like in Libya but not like in Syria. It has nothing to do with one party having the letter “g” in silly places in his name and absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with one religion versus a certain other unpleasant religion that wants to do away with all other religions, as we might have gthought. Gnever.

Picture shows Gbagbo’s successor enveloped in light, the pure light of Allah.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Cremating Koranic ramblings

Prompted by recent events and harbouring an intense hatred of his neighbour ever since that party daubed “Frit the Twit” on that disputed fence, Frit has devised a perfect four-point plan for getting rid of him:

1. Convert to Islam.
2. Cut off neighbour’s head.
3. Blame it on that pastor who burned that holy book thereby turning every right-thinking Mussulmanic into a rabid killer zombie.
4. Contact CAIR for advice on how to sue the government for compensation for not having introduced Sherrya Law quickly enough to put a stop to that pastor’s antics and avoid the resulting trauma.

Friday, 1 April 2011

Leaving the sinking ship

Frit learns that Libyan foreign minister Mussa Kussa has defected to Britain. “Mussa Kussa” is a shortened version of his full name, i.e. Mussa Kussa Kussa Mussa bin Kussa Mussa Mussa Kussa, which is Arabic for “whichever way the wind blows”.