Friday 28 November 2008

Ogling a pair of legs costs more than losing a pair

Frit notes that the British legal system, in the shape of the Leeds Employment Tribunal, has awarded £186,896 to a lesbian soldier averse to having her legs ogled by her male boss. This sum exceeds the £161,000 given to 21-year-old Marine Ben McBean who lost a leg and an arm in Afghanistan and the £152,150 received by Lance Bombardier Ben Parkinson, 24, after losing both legs and suffering 14 life-threatening injuries, including brain damage. It also dwarfs the £57,000 given to 19-year-old Private Jamie Cooper who suffered severe stomach injuries in a mortar attack in southern Iraq. The Ministry of Defence faces a further bill of £100,000 for its defence costs and the lesbian in question has three more claims pending.

Frit is of the opinion that the time has come for the British legal system to be subjected to a process of vicious purging and whip-assisted taxpayer retaliation.

Thursday 27 November 2008

Lone terrorist attacks Bombay

According to the BBC’s online report on the Bombay massacre this morning, it is a massacre being carried out by 2 attackers, 4 gunmen, 2 armed men, 2 assailants, 1 group and just 1 terrorist preceded by the word “suspected”.

Wednesday 26 November 2008

Droning on about a wage cut

The British legal profession is in tears. It seems that George Bush and his gang of trigger-happy yanks have simply “assassinated” a known British mussulman terrorist in Pakistan. Apparently, the British terrorist in question (whom the BBC, mouthpiece of the British ruling class, prefers to call a “UK militant”) was once arrested in Pakistan. However, the guards driving the vehicle taking him to jail stopped to let him go pray in a mosque whilst they had a quiet fag, whereupon he promptly became unarrested by making for the back entrance. Thinking they could maybe improve on this suspiciously lackadaisical approach, the said George Bush and his gang of trigger-happy yanks sent one of those drone things over the border from Afghastlystan to cook this terrorist’s goose by remote control. Frit is of the opinion that having your goose cooked by remote control, by an unfeeling machine to which you having your goose cooked or not is entirely immaterial, is a very insulting and befitting way of having your goose cooked if you happen to be a terrorist. But the British legal people look at it in a different way. They were looking forward to this individual being rearrested and brought back to Blighty for some very large sums of money to be earned over a period of many many years. It is a very serious blow to their finances. They are just livid. “Senior Members of Parliament” are asking questions. Quite rightly! How could those uppity yanks simply go and do such a thing to such a promising meal ticket of a British citizen? They should stick to frying their oversized burgers instead of frying our choice British mussulman terrorists. And we would have won the Second World War without them anyway!

Tuesday 25 November 2008

Class at school

The uncertainty and tension, the agony of not knowing, is at last over. The decision has been made, it’s official – the daughters of the multimillionaire white African King will be going to a private school (a place where parents pay to obtain superior education and social advantage for their children) rather than to a state school (where all you learn is how to wear clothes several sizes too big, badmouth your betters and use a needle properly). Phew, what a surprise. We all thought he would stay true to his oft-stated furry egalitarian principles, go for the classless option, the brave new world order option, not just push them off to the very same pre-the-messiah-cometh school to which the pre-the-messiah-cometh hectomillionaire Clintons sent their own lonely and very drippy-looking progeny (she must despise her mother sooo much, and so much dream of one day outdoing her – no competitiveness in the family at all).

Monday 24 November 2008

Piracy

Frit recommends visiting http://red-secupp.blogspot.com/ to read S.E. Cupp’s post about the Barbary Wars.
Meanwhile, the latest response of those who rule us, upon having the clocks turned back 200 years, has been to
- fire some smoke grenades at a safe distance from a pirate ship so as not to hurt any pirates
- sink an empty pirate vessel and let the pirates get away so as not to hurt any pirates and
- get NATO and the UN to sit down round the table together to come up with cunning new ways of absolutely not hurting any pirates in any way at all.

Shiver our furry timbers!

Thursday 20 November 2008

Insulting fugitive

Aged and repellent pontificating hateball Ayman al-Zawahiri (in English Hey Man All Sour and Weary), Al Qaeda No. 2, has insulted the multimillionaire white African King in public, making racist remarks that all but nearly included the deeply unforgivable word “golliwog”. He appears to think the multimillionaire white African King is not his friend. Frit and Mrs. Frit sincerely hope he is right about this, but will wait and see.

Wednesday 19 November 2008

A question of black and white

Of course, the biggest lie about the multimillionaire African King is the lie about his colour. He is not black. He is half white and half black. So he is not at all the “African-American” they so universally proclaim him. He is the “half-African-American” or “half-European-American”. A man who is half white and half black might just as easily be called white as black, in a fair world. Frit will be describing him as the “multimillionaire white African King” when referring to that individual on this site from now on.

Tuesday 18 November 2008

OPEC

Frit reads that, in 2003, Americans paid $268 billion for new homes and $197 billion for oil. In 2008, Americans paid $134 billion for new homes and $900 billion for oil. Given these simple figures, does anyone really have to wonder why we have a financial crisis? The western world is simply being bent over a barrel of oil by OPEC, a CARTEL. Cartels are not allowed in western societies because they are a form of robbery. You get put in jail if you operate one. But the oil producers operate a cartel.

People talk endlessly about how we should protect ourselves against this criminal cartel by making our own fuel out of Pringles and so forth. It’s all a matter of finding a simple alternative, of making a few minor adjustments. The world will then be put right. This is how we avoid having to face realities. In the opinion of Frit, the real world is such that only drastic, real remedies can break this real cartel before we are all pauperised. One such real world remedy would be to invade Iraq, turn it into a western-leaning democracy and buy our oil from it. Ah, but this has already been tried and is not progressing as well as it should because those who rule us are too wet, blind and self-seeking to allow it to be implemented with conviction.

Wednesday 12 November 2008

Historically historic

Frit notes that those who rule us seem to have the name of the multimillionaire African King already firmly welded to the word “historic”, as in "Obama's historic election victory", “Obama’s historic White House visit”, his “historic January 20 swearing-in” etc..
Googling the words “Bush historic”, for instance, yields a total of 3,650 hits. These cover two presidents and three terms of office, and 456 of them, at least, are negatively historic, concerning an “historic abuse of power”. Googling the words “Obama historic” yields an amazing 239,000 hits for a man who ascended to the throne but a mere six days ago! Supposing he were to complete two full terms, this would ultimately work out to a staggering 116,313,333.333333333333333333333333 historic events over 8 years. Truly amazing! Historic!

Tuesday 11 November 2008

Fine-sounding gem of the week

From guardian.co.uk: British Prime Minister Boredom Brown “today pledges to work with Barack Obama to create a new world order where 'markets need morals' and people come first”.

Friday 7 November 2008

Admission of infidelity – Michelle loves my husband instead of hers

Frit just heard the wife of the multimillionaire African King say “I come here as a wife who loves my husband . . .”. Googling this appallingly illiterate statement Frit finds no adverse comment anywhere at all. Had the wife of George Bush said it, or the wife of McCain or the wife of anyone else on the right, it would have been all over the papers this morning as undeniable evidence of why the husband is a dumb clod unfit for any type of office.

Thursday 6 November 2008

Bitter disappointment

One whole day has now passed since the multimillionaire African King took the throne and NOTHING HAS CHANGED!
In fact, at http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/06/us/politics/06expect.html, the New York Times is already, on day 1, preparing the ground for that bitter disappointment, telling us the African King has “begun an effort to tamp down what his aides fear are unusually high expectations among his supporters”. Who would have thought it!

Wednesday 5 November 2008

Bush out, bushman in

Multimillionaire (non)Islamic radical communist President B.A. Barackabama has at last been elected to power having successfully whipped the gullible and the young into an ecstatic media driven froth the world over. He is the first true leader of the entire world, in many parts of which he is even more popular than in the USA (Europe, for instance). We know not who he really is, we know not what he really is about, but we don’t really care. All that counts is the ecstasy. The new age has dawned. The Age of the African King. The drums are beating; the bush is abuzz, lizards are being sacrificed, campfires burning bright. Everything is going to be different from now on for everyone is a furry laidback African now. After all, life began in Africa and white men are but long lost Africans who once wandered northwards, removed the bones from their noses and went pale. So let us ignore all negative aspects such as concealed records, dubious or criminal associations and the alleged Mideast origins of some of the vast sums of money collected by his campaign. Let us simply rejoice that the African King is at last cometh, hoping dearly that, with his truly magic medicine man ways, in his term he will bringeth current African standards up to our own rather than our own down to its.

Tuesday 4 November 2008

Timely demise


As a presidential candidate, you can’t get much better PR than to have your granny die the day before election day.