Monday 30 November 2009

Gatecrashers

Last week, Frit spent a lot of money on a posh frock for Mrs Frit with a view to gatecrashing the White House thanksgiving party (though not as much as multimillionairess Worst Lady Michelle spent on that posh socialist frock rumored to have kept 40 slaves busy with needles for a month until their fingers bled). Unfortunately, the attempt came to nothing. Frit and Mrs Frit were arrested and waterboarded by the CIA. Next day, they were appalled to discover that only couples with Mussulmanic sounding names and links to Hamas are permitted to successfully gatecrash such events. Frit and Mrs Frit have thus renamed themselves Mohammed and Fatima Bin Frit, have started raising funds for the next intifada and are hoping for better luck next year.

Friday 27 November 2009

Hajj

The Mussulmanics are presently in Mecca performing the important ceremony of plodding in circles round the big stone box draped in black silk, stoning the Devil etc.. Saudi newspapers are reporting that the grandmother of the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President is prominent amongst them. In his message to his grandmother and all other fellow Mussulmanics at this important time in their calendar, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President says “The rituals of Hajj and Eid-ul-Adha both serve as reminders of the shared Abrahamic roots of three of the world’s major religions”. Sounds very nice until you remember that people from the other two of those major religions with Abrahamic roots are likely to encounter visa application problems if they wish to attend. They are unclean and not allowed to enter Mecca and they might well have their heads as well as their roots chopped off if they try to.

Every true Mussulmanic has to participate in the Hajj at least once in their lifetime, if they have the wherewithal, we are told. Doing the math on this, i.e. subtracting the 2 million Mussulmanics performing Hajj from the 1.5 billion the world is blessed with, rather implies that some are slacking. Thus, Frit urges all who have a Mussulmanic for a neighbor to knock on his door and ask him if he intends honoring his commitment. No excuses. If he could afford to fly to Pakistan for an arranged marriage last month he can afford Mecca this month. Off you go! Off you go!

The picture shows the big stone box draped in black silk and the hordes of pilgrims with the three Giant Jellyfish of Allah floating prominently in the foreground on the lookout for any encroaching Jews.

Thursday 26 November 2009

Harpo out

Mrs Frit, ever a matchmaker, suggests that the new EU President and his new EU Foreign Minister should marry, both being equally charisma-challenged. Frit is skeptical. When they get to the part of the marriage ceremony where the vicar asks if they take one another there is a danger that neither will know who the other is nor who they themselves are. And, talking of marriage, a little bird tells Frit that Worst Lady Michelle Hussein Obama has fallen out with Oprah Winfrey in a jealous fit! Apparently, Oprah was actually christened Orpah, but nobody in the family could pronounce that so they changed it to Harpo written backwards. It seems that Oprah was muscling in on Michelle’s man, who “would jump when she called”.

Frit considered posting the image of a monkey with Michelle’s features that many monkeys have been complaining to Google about in recent days (for an earlier related post see http://thethoughtsoffrit.blogspot.com/2009/06/please-dont-mention-family-tree-unless.html). Instead, Frit posts this recent photograph which he took of Michelle in the Whitehouse gardens manually de-worming her dog, a task she was planning on delegating to Oprah in happier times.

Wednesday 25 November 2009

Oh waht a sacrifice

The human race can be proud that its Hindu community conducted the largest animal sacrifice of all time in Nepal this week. Glancing at his calendar, Frit sees that this is the year 2009. Yes we have come this far! The head priest launched the event with the sacrifice of two rats, two pigeons, a rooster, a lamb and a pig. The crowd then rushed to a nearby field where 250 sword-wielding butchers began the mass slaughter of around 20,000 buffalo, brought by devotees to be sacrificed near the holy temple. Not wishing to be outdone when it comes to bizarre atrocity committed in the name of religion, the Mussulmanics, currently all in Mecca to walk in circles round a box, are planning their own version of this ceremony next year, intending to hack off the heads of 20,000 Hindus but leave out the pig.

One mainstream media outlet describes what is going on in the photograph as “slitting the throat”!

Tuesday 24 November 2009

Frit's Ten Point Plan

Few people know that Frit is the person who drew up the ten point plan for halting the Mussulmanisation of Europe which was later adopted by Geerd Wilders and his party following a secret meeting with Frit in a tulip field, i.e.:

1. Stop cultural relativism. We need an article in our constitutions that lays down that we have a Jewish-Christian and humanism culture.
2. Stop pretending that Mussulmanicism is a religion. Mussulmanicism is a totalitarian ideology. In other words, the right to religious freedom should not apply to Mussulmanicism.
3. Stop mass immigration by people from Mussulmanic countries. We have to end Al-Hijra.
4. Encourage voluntary repatriation.
5. Expel criminal foreigners and criminals with dual nationality, after denationalization, and send them back to their Mussulmanic countries. Likewise, expel all those who incite ‘violent jihad’.
6. We need an European First Amendment to strengthen free speech.
7. Have every member of a non-Western minority sign a legally binding contract of assimilation.
8. We need a binding pledge of allegiance in all Western countries.
9. Stop the building of new Mussulmanic mosques. As long as no churches or synagogues are allowed to be built in countries like Saudi-Arabia we will not allow one more new mosque in our western countries. Close all mosques where incitement to violence is taking place. Close all Mussulmanic schools, for they are fascist institutions and young children should not be educated an ideology of hate and violence.
10. Get rid of the current weak leaders. We have the privilege of living in a democracy. Let’s use that privilege and exchange cowards for heroes. We need more Churchills and less Chamberlains.

Frit would now like to add a new Point 11 to this list, i.e. ban the döner kebab! There could be anything or any animal under the sun in that revolting tower of icky spam. You just don’t know.

Monday 23 November 2009

Millions of degrees

Frit has turned down several Nobel peace prizes down the years, loath to have his name associated with other recipients such as Multimillionaire Nobel Laureate Great Gore. Gore spent all these years lucratively convincing us we are to blame for global warming and, just as we were about to believe him, he now appears on TV to admit he knew all along that the core of the earth is to blame, having increased its temperature to “millions of degrees”, unnoticed by anyone but him. No wonder we’re all sweating. Let’s hope we get some cool air from the photoshopped hurricane rotating the wrong way on the cover of his latest book.

Friday 20 November 2009

Smaller feet, smaller footprints

According to the United Nations’ ‘State of World Population report’, women have a lower carbon footprint than men. Women drive and fly much less than men and purchase fewer carbonintensive goods etc.. This idiotic assertion is not going down very well amongst Mussulmen, because, as we all know, Mussulmen regard women as extremely environmentally-unfriendly and polluting. After all, did not Muhammad inform us all that women are “unclean” creatures. Did he not say that “Three things corrupt prayer: women, dogs, and donkeys”. Did he not say that “Woman is a vile beast,” and that “Women were created for nothing but evil”.

The assertion is also not going down very well with Frit, whose wife, Mrs Frit, buys far too many of those carbonintensive cut flowers, advent calendars and other girly stuff.

Thursday 19 November 2009

Earning from hunger

A lot of words are being written and sold and spoken and sold on the subject of world hunger and the Rome Food Security Summit right now. The Rome Food Security Summit is a scam where the likes of Robert Mugabe, who has probably done more than any other despot in history to make sure people in his country have nothing whatsoever to eat, can have their begging bowls filled with freebies supplied by unfair westerners who selfishly monopolize all the planet’s grub.
The Rome Food Security Summit will not link the figure of one billion hungry people with that of one billion needless births. The pretence is that those one billion needless hungry mouths have nothing to do with biology and global population mismanagement. They have just been conjured out of the air somehow and all we now have to do is somehow conjure a method of feeding them out of the air to suit. Frit, who lives in a western society where, in recent times, people worked hard to produce adequate food and fewer children to eat it, travelled to Rome to deliver the following message to the Food Security Summit: FRIT DOES NOT HAVE TOO MUCH TO EAT! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!

Wednesday 18 November 2009

No matching collar and cuffs

The latest employment law lunacy case in Britain has been brought by a woman against her former male boss. She wants him to pay her 4 million pounds for calling her a dumb blonde and for making dumb blonde jokes. He has to argue to a three-woman employment tribunal that “It was said entirely as a joke, it was never intended as an insult”. Frit thinks little of his chances, even despite the fact that, whilst it might not be easy to tell from the photograph if the individual in question is actually dumb, it’s very easy to tell she’s not actually blonde.


Frit has already purchased some shoe polish with the intention of blacking up and suing the first person he hears make a joke that includes the word golliwog.

Tuesday 17 November 2009

Hands off!

Frit, who, as a direct result of Mussulmanic terrorism, has to suffer strip searching, x-rays and endoscopy virtually every time he boards an airplane, enters a public building or crosses the street, is seething with livid rage at the Canadian police chief who apologized to a Mussulmanic woman, and to the Mussulmanic community, when she complained that one of his officers patted her down when arresting her husband. Frit is beside himself at this outrage. Frit wants this police chief sacked. More, Frit wants this police chief sacked, deprived of his Canadian citizenship, excommunicated from the Christian church and divested of all the money he has swindled out of the Canadian taxpayer throughout his slimy lily-livered career, except for the price of a one-way ticket to Saudi Arabia, where, for the rest of his cowardly life, he shall ponder what a delightful society pandering to such harebrained drivel creates. As for the Mussulmanic woman concerned, Frit is already training a whisky drinking pig to pat her down next time.

Monday 16 November 2009

Bush-Cheney to stand trial in New York

Frit learns that the biggest show trial in the history of the world is about to be held. Former President George W Bush, former Vice-President Dick Cheney, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, unknown numbers of CIA, law enforcement and military people are all to go on trial in New York on charges arising from their attempts to protect America and the free world from the onslaught of sixth century religious dogma. Witnesses for the prosecution include 4 individuals specially flown in from Guantanamo Bay. When found guilty, all defendants could face the death penalty.

Friday 13 November 2009

Incredibly incapable

Mary Robinson, one-time President of the place that likes to refer to itself as the “Emerald Isle”, although everyone else just calls it “that peat bog over there”, has described as “unjust and unwarranted” all criticism from American pro-Israel groups of The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President’s recent award to her of the Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the US. “I was acting purely in a principled, human rights way with no bias, which I am incapable of”, said she. They are so unassuming. So unassuming.

Searching Google images for “Mary Robinson” reveals that she is far from too modest to be photographed though far too unsightly to feature on Frit’s blog. But Frit came across this interesting painting of another Robinson, Robinson Crusoe. The President of the United States, on holiday in the West Indies in his younger days, can be seen mistaking his garb for that of an Arab and fawning at his feet.

Thursday 12 November 2009

Immoral Arabs

A German of Russian descent is on trial for stabbing to death a pregnant Muslim woman and injuring her husband specifically because they are Muslims. As heinous as this crime undoubtedly is, it is curious to see how much of the Muslim world has erupted in fury. In Cairo and Alexandria, the home city of the couple, there were demonstrations outside the German Embassy and German institutions. The protests spread to Iran and Karachi in Pakistan, where women held up placards denouncing the West and calling for justice for the “headscarf martyr”. German justice is, of course, not good enough, and a fatwa has been issued. Curious that wholesale butchery of the infidel in Muslim countries is not a problem to anyone whereas a single “headscarf martyr” is really, really upsetting. Curious also that the trial, for which the security operation is huge, is not being much reported on by those who feed us the news. Not even in Germany itself.

Similarly, the Turks, who divided the island of Cyprus, are guilty of equal imbalance over a bar being opened in the Christian half in what was formerly a mosque. The many churches, graveyards etc. located in their own half of the island that they have destroyed completely, desecrated or turned into head chopping off factories and so forth simply don’t count.

Kemal Ataturk declared that “Islam – the theology of an immoral Arab – is a dead thing. It might have suited tribes in the desert. It is no good for a modern, progressive state”. Sadly, the Turks are now increasingly embracing that theology and moving backwards towards the Middle Ages. They are a disgrace to the absurd looking bird after which they named their country. Frit suggests they rename it after the bird pictured, the Scimitar-babbler, making themselves the “Scimitar-babblers”, a much more apt name for those intent on running around chopping off heads with a curved sword whilst uttering meaningless sounds.

Wednesday 11 November 2009

Which way to the bridge?

In the wake of the Fort Hood massacre, Frit is confused. He is reading that Muslims in the military have a problem, they need to “seek a bridge between worlds” say experts. “How can a Muslim participate in killing other Muslims in such places as Iraq and Afghanistan?”, they ask. Frit, in his ignorance, always thought that Iraqis are Muslims, but they seem to have no problems killing one another. Frit thought that Afghastlystanis are Muslims and they have no problems killing one another either. Pakistanis kill one another just fine. Palestinians are experts at it. Iranians, Saudis, Yemenis, Lebanese . . . In fact, Frit finds it quite difficult to think of a Muslim country where Muslims have any difficulty whatsoever in killing one another, and preferably by the most gruesome methods available. Or has Frit misunderstood something? When they say they “seek a bridge between worlds”, perhaps they mean so they can throw one another off it.

Tuesday 10 November 2009

Birth of a religion

In a landmark ruling in Britain, Mr Justice Michael Burton-Loon has pronounced that a belief in man-made climate change, if genuinely held, can be considered to have the status of a religious conviction “for the purpose of the 2003 Religion and Belief Regulations”. Frit wonders if this means it’s now okay to dress its adherents in strange green frocks, persecute unbelievers and chop off their heads in its name. Frit also wonders if a belief that there is no such thing as man-made climate change, if genuinely held, can equally be considered to have the status of a religious conviction “for the purpose of the 2003 Religion and Belief Regulations”. If so, Frit intends installing effigies at the headquarters of his own anti warming dogma organization WOW (War On Warmers) and insisting that the staffers there remain celibate.

Monday 9 November 2009

Long frocks are a giveaway

A man who habitually wore a frock and posted anti-western stuff on the Internet was allowed to stay in the US army and eventually butcher people trying to defend America and the western world. But those who rule us say this was not an act of terrorism. No, rather it was the act of a mentally deranged individual. Apparently, an individual can either be mad or can be a terrorist, never both. So those of us who thought that every terrorist is a madman are quite mistaken. Are we also mistaken about thinking the frock is the uniform of the enemy so frock wearers simply have to be ejected from the armed forces and sent to Guantanamo Bay? Get real!

Wednesday 4 November 2009

Morality

Frit has concluded that the great threat posed by the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President and his henchmen and henchwomen stems from the fact that they see artificial dogma as infallible truth. They see their acts as moral acts and not as political acts. This makes it government by religion. Like in Iran.

Tuesday 3 November 2009

It seems that, in Texas, a Mussulman woman applied for a job with CareNow, an employer who has a “no-hats” policy, and failed to get the job because she insisted she had to keep her headscarf on. The CAIR organization (Cuddly Allah’s Islamic Racketeers), has now written to CareNow asking it to “1) offer the Muslim applicant a position for which she is qualified and to allow her to wear her Islamic head scarf, 2) provide the applicant with a formal written apology, 3) clarify CareNow’s policy on religious accommodation issues and allow a religious exemption to the“no-hat” policy, 4) institute workplace sensitivity and diversity training for staff, and 5) compensate the Muslim applicant for the emotional distress she has suffered as a result of the discrimination”.

Frit, who once had to stay alive in the jungle for months on end, knows how to kill every type of animal, including ones with fur, using nothing but a loofer. Therefore he is qualified to work in a slaughterhouse. However, only last week, when he applied for a job as slaughterman in a halal slaughterhouse he was informed that the job may only be done by a Mussulman. This is not equal opportunity. This is straightforward religious discrimination. So Frit has now followed CAIR’s splendid example and written to the slaughterhosue asking it to “1) offer the Christian applicant Frit a position for which he is qualified and to allow him to turn up for work with a bottle of beer, his pork pie and no beard, 2) provide Frit with a formal written apology, 3) clarify policy on religious accommodation issues and allow a religious exemption to the“no-infidel” policy, 4) institute workplace sensitivity and diversity training for staff, and 5) richly compensate the Christian applicant for the emotional distress he has suffered as a result of the discrimination”.

CareNow appears to have relented and dropped its no-hat’s policy, so Frit is hopeful that the slaughterhouse will relent and employ him after all.The photograph shows the woman and headscarf concerned.

Monday 2 November 2009

Importing the time bomb

Frit has learned that those who rule Britain purposely opened the country’s doors to let people in because they know that immigrants always vote for the benefits the left always promises them. Now, Frit learns that those who rule the USA are handing out taxpayer money to fund the move of people from Gaza to the USA for the same reason. In their ignorance, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President, his maturity-challenged wife and their henchmen and henchwomen are unaware that as few as 15 rabid hate-filled HAMAS (Hate and Murder and Supremacy) aid gobblers can breed themselves into 50 million rabid hate-filled HAMAS aid gobblers virtually within a single year. They are importing a time bomb. They should seek education from the Prime Minister of Turkey who only recently urged his own population to breed faster to obtain “more power”.