Friday, 30 January 2009

Lord of the House

Frit learns that a member of the British House of Lords intended to invite her colleagues to a private meeting in a conference room in the House of Lords to meet the Dutch politician Geert Wilders, an elected member of the Dutch parliament, to watch his controversial movie Fitna and discuss the movie and Mr. Wilders’ opinions with him.
Barely had the invitation been sent to all the members of the House when a certain Lord Ahmed raised hell. He threatened to mobilize 10,000 Methodists to prevent Mr. Wilders from entering the House and threatened to take the colleague who was organizing the event to court. The result is that the event, which should have taken place next Thursday, was cancelled. A victory for the Methodist community, but a defeat for British democracy where topics to which Methodists object cannot even be debated. Apparently, Lord Ahmed recently admitted in court to killing another man by dangerous driving, and ought to be in prison, but isn’t. So there’s a lot that Methodists can get away with in Britain these days. Strange thing is that none of this appears to interest the British media. Frit can only find mention of it in Belgium and Pakistan.

Thursday, 29 January 2009

Calamity in Davos

We live in a world where a narcissist can give himself the false name “Bonio” and, amazingly, everyone calls him that. Bonio is a “social activist” and the only person ever to have been nominated for an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, a Grammy and a Nobel Peace Prize. So his furry credentials are sexy beyond belief. This is a man who has never made a single cent from his own altruism and who rises from his bed each morning only for the good of others. “Stay in bed Bonio”, they say, “stay in bed.” “No, no”, says Bonio, “I must rise for others.” So we are all very sad to learn that Bonio is said not to be putting in his usual appearance at Davos for this year’s World Economic Forum. And in a year when world economics needed him more than ever! The repercussions will be monumental and tragic.

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Solana – such a straightforward guy

At the same time that the European ruling class is in an Obama trance and is undergoing a closing Guantanamo catharsis, it seems not to know if it is inclined to give any practical help. This can only be because it knows as well as anybody else that a lot of the European tax payers it steals from are a lot less than enthusiastic about the idea of having to pay for the lifelong upkeep of bunches of deeply disturbed pathological Methodists and really couldn’t care less what happens to them if they are returned to their own countries of origin. European mouthpiece Javier Solana, a truly masterful milker of the gullible and the young, says the EU wants to help on humanitarian grounds, but cannot act until the US demonstrates that the hard done-by Methodist prisoners concerned “do not pose a credible security risk”! If Frit understands this right, the fidgeting that those who rule us have undergone up to now has been for lack of proof that Guantanamo inmates are bad people, but now it is for lack of proof that they aren’t.

Searching Google images for “Solana” disappointingly throws up countless pictures of his selfless and self-sacrificing fast talking face, so Frit chose this nice Goya painting of somebody called the “Marquise de la Solana” instead. Much nicer to look at.

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Dynamic Scotsman told us so

Unelected British Prime Minister and would-be multimillionaire Boredom Brown claims to have tried to save the world from economic disaster as much as ten years ago! If only we had listened. If only we had listened. Such an opportunity lost.

Monday, 26 January 2009

Really polite rich people caught on camera

Frit and Mrs Frit greatly enjoy the following, and play it often:

Only occasionally does one get to see just how nice such nice people are.

(Carter has now stated on TV that he had already canoodled with the Clintons for fifteen minutes outside. Pity. But is it true? Frit likes to think not.)

Friday, 23 January 2009


It is with great sadness that Frit notes the passing away of European civilisation. In their well paid wisdom, three judges in the Netherlands have decided the best way to preserve their future earnings is to put on trial a man who has been saying adverse but true things about the behaviour and intentions of some proponents of a certain religion. As Frit is not a religious person and knows little of religious matters and himself wishes to avoid prison if possible, he has no idea which religion this is and can’t anywhere near imagine. Maybe it’s Methodism. The three well paid judges, making up the law as they go along, insist that “In a democratic system, hate speech is considered so serious that it is in the general interest to... draw a clear line". So that’s it then. In Europe, freedom of expression now officially means freedom to express politically correct expression only. In shock, people are saying that this is happening in “one of the most liberal societies in the world”. Sorry, there is no contradiction here, TYRANNY IS EXACTLY WHAT LIBERALISM IS ABOUT!!!!

Frit would like to point out to any big-earning judges amongst his readership that all opinions expressed on this site are expressed for the sake of irony and for entertainment purposes only. They are not to be mistaken for the genuinely held beliefs of the author in any way. In fact, all opinions, including any that might concern Methodists, can be taken as being utterly insincere and as actually intended to imply the exact opposite of what they imply. And Frit retracts every word of it all in any case. No prison food needed.)

Thursday, 22 January 2009

More history

Reading of “the historic vastness of the moment, the unique and unprecedented nature of the event” (Times Online’s view of the Inauguration), Frit would like to return to an earlier post concerning the use of the word ‘historic’. Back then, just after the Multimillionaire White African King won the election, googling the words “Obama historic” yielded an amazing 239,000 hits. Now, following Inauguration Day, googling the words “Obama historic” already yields 10,900,000 hits and “Obama history” yields a shattering 74,900,000 hits! This is history being made in advance rather than history in the making. We are confusing history with hysteria and, as we know, those who are confused about history are condemned to repeat it.

Wednesday, 21 January 2009


A shocking wave of anti-Jewish bigotry and violence has erupted throughout the world as a direct result of the media and the rest of our rulers having, over recent weeks, consistently and deceitfully given the impression that Hamas chaps (who butchered their way into power and who hold on to it by terror, introducing the death penalty for anyone who negotiates with the enemy, banning singing and legalising crucifixion etc.), are “fighters” whilst Israelis are deliberate child-killers. Nothing could be further from the truth. So why do they say it? FOR MONEY AND POWER, SILLY!

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Historic Inordination

Today is Great Inordination Day. The Multimillionaire White African King is at last officially the world’s one true supreme ruler. He shall rule us with a gentle hand. He shall provide us the awaited free petrol at the same time that he cooleth the planet (temperatures in America have already plummeted to record lows at the mere thought of his coming). He shall never tell us lies about his origins. He shall never make us think we live in Hollywood. He shall tenderly mould us all in his own image to make us worthy of his dominion. We are saved.

Monday, 19 January 2009

The guts to change

Today, Frit is officially applying to the global socialist communist environmentalist authorities for permission to modify their discourteous saying “I should like to see the last king strangled with the guts of the last priest”. The idea is to change the words “king” and “priest” to “dog owner” and “cyclist”.

Friday, 16 January 2009

Old woman, old woman, old woman say I

Old woman, old woman, old woman say I,
O whither, O whither, O whither so high?
To sweep the cobwebs off the sky,
And have a baby by-and-by.

Recently, when Frit and Mrs Frit were out and about, their paths chanced to cross that of a little girl and young mother, hand in hand. This pretty sight was so striking because young mothers are now so rarely seen. In our western world, we mostly only get to see old mothers. Most of them can’t cope, due to their age, and most will be basket cases before their child (all too often just one lonely, wretched little being) grows up. Yes, the “women’s movement” has managed to convince society, in the face of all the biological facts, that waiting to have your baby until you can reasonably be mistaken for its grandmother is a super and sensible plan. If they have their way we shall soon have laws that prohibit pregnancy to any woman with a complete set of teeth. This is a very sad thing for children and a serious disaster for society. But never say so. Saying so is practically a lynching offence. Hate mail is a certainty. Banishment to the Land of Old Fashioned is a must. The women’s movement can sometimes be a bit of an intolerant and catty little bitch to deal with.

Thursday, 15 January 2009

Urinating mentalvironists

Global warmers are people who pee on the beach and think themselves responsible for the rising tide.

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Gaza stripped

Most of those who rule us flunked science in school because they lack any understanding of scientific facts. They always prefer to blame ideology rather than biology. But anyone interested in genuinely attempting to prevent ever more violent death, fear and suffering in Gaza would be wiser to make as much hullaballoo over the numbers of Palestinians born on any given day as they do over the numbers who die.

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Lawsuit rankings

The head of an atheist group has filed a lawsuit against the use of prayer at the multimillionaire white African King’s presidential inauguration because this would amount to subjecting atheists and agnostics to someone else's religious beliefs. Frit notes that the mainstream media deems it important to inform us of this truly earth shattering turn of events but still deems the several lawsuits questioning the multimillionaire white African King’s citizenship and presidential eligibility of no interest to anyone at all.

Thursday, 8 January 2009

Banning the bulb

The Nazis banned books, now the EU environmental storm troopers are banning the light bulbs books are read by. But it’s not at all the same totalitarian thing. Not at all.

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Rising discontent

There is already some disquiet amongst those who feed us the news. Fighting has been going on in Gaza for some days and the multimillionaire white African King has spoken not a word, let alone performed any miracles. Deep down, they are already beginning to doubt his ability to keep the promises they made on his behalf.