Jewish Palestinians

Now that we have genetic evidence to prove that a great many Palestinians are the descendants of Jews once forced at rusty knifepoint to change their religion, why are we all still reading things like “The Jewish invaders should have more respect for the indigenous people of Palestine”?

Transplants

As regards the current debate concerning the shortage of organ donors, Frit can only say that the thought of some sons of bitches walking around using some of Frit’s organs is almost as revolting as the thought of Frit walking around using some of theirs.

Sexist bigot uses women as “window dressing”

As we all know, nothing is more dear to the heart of the British Labour Party than the rights of the three W’s, i.e. Women, Warmers and Woofters. So great is that party’s dedication to these groups that its ultimate ambition is to turn every single one of us into all three. How strange then, that Labour Party wenches are apparently upset that unelected Prime Minister of the UK (United Kaliphate) Boredom Brown has created a government that is "really rather laddish in its culture". It seems that women are finding themselves in a minority in a politically incorrect chauvinist cabinet and are thus afforded fewer expense account fiddling opportunities than men. Shame on you Brown!

Divorce

The following e-mail is being circulated with a request to the likeminded to post it on their blogs, which Frit is only too happy to do.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’ Donnell (you are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.

We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. WallLaw Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

Milking history

The multimillionaire White Mohammedan King has been making an “emotional” visit to the continent of his birth, along with his simpleminded wife. They visited an old fortress in Ghana where the slave trade was conducted in the past and where photo-ops abound. They stayed well clear of the Sudan and other areas where the slave trade is still very much an issue of the present and where life is a bit too complicated to boil down into the straightforward vote catching emotive.

The two large upward pointing cannons seen on the shoreline were once intended for lobbing Africans over to Mississippi but the slave trade ended before they came on stream.

Urbi et Orbi

Pope Benedict XVI, the tiniest Pope ever to wave a red rag at a papal bull, has criticized the international economic system and called for a new global structure based on social responsibility, concern for the dignity of the worker and a respect for ethics. How about an international economic system based on selling indulgencies? In other words preserving the dignity of “the worker” by charging him money for forgiving his past and future sins or even the past sins of any dead people he might know? Worked well for the economy of the Catholic Church in the past.

The gratuitous ‘B’ word rides again

The BBC tells Frit that “Silvio Berlusconi, Italy's billionaire prime minister, is throwing a party this week for leaders of the world's other seven most powerful industrial nations”.
Frit reads that King Fahd Bin Abdul Aziz Alsaud of Saudi Arabia, recent recipient of that hideous curtsey, is top on the Forbes magazine list of billionaire “Kings, Queens and Despots”. Is it true that Fidel Castro is apparently worth $900 million and ranked seventh on that list? Is it true that Yasser Arafat was on that list too? Must be a lie, otherwise searching the BBC website for “Castro” and “billionaire” and “Arafat” and “billionaire” would come up with more than one hit each, unlike the three pages of hits you get if you enter “Berlusconi” and “billionaire”.

“The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other, milk.”

David Flunkit, onetime British Education Secretary, Home Secretary as well as Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, has had the misfortune to be attacked by an irate cow whilst out walking. Flunkit, who was twice forced to resign office, once for inappropriate fiddling and once for inappropriate diddling, claims to have fewer eyes than even his fellow labour party buddy Boredom Brown. However, there are those who dispute his total blindness and suspect he makes the claim merely to pocket the associated state benefits. If he is truly sightless, they say, how come he so successfully manages to accurately pinpoint the whereabouts of so much buckshee cash and cunt. Flunkit suffered a broken rib in the attack. It is widely believed that Flunkit, removed from the realities of nature like so many of his particular political persuasion, is too stupid to know that wise people should never go near cows and their young calves accompanied by their dog, even if it happens to be a guide dog. Cattle can be pretty politically incorrect on that score.

But there is also a different version of this story. Frit is told by reliable sources that the cow merely mistook Flunkit for a wittering old woman it wanted to jump over, as the photograph of the event appears to confirm.

Most stylish man

Unelected British Prime Minister Boredom Brown has no problem about attending this year’s G-8 summit to be held in the part of central Italy so recently devastated by an earthquake as he is quite used to standing on shaky ground. Likewise, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King is delighted to attend as it gives him opportunity to ask the earthquake for forgiveness. Also, a poll of 3,000 men has named him the “most stylish man”. Good thing really, he must try to keep up with his stylish wife.

What century did we say we are in right now?

“The Pope has placed Cardinal John Henry Newman on the path to possible sainthood by approving a miracle attributed to his intercession. Newman, an influential 19th-century Anglican convert, can now be beatified. A second miracle is necessary for him to be declared a saint – making him the first English-born saint since the Reformation. The miracle approved yesterday by Pope Benedict XVI concerns the medically inexplicable cure of an American, John Sullivan, who suffered from debilitating back pain for years, but was cured after praying to Cardinal Newman.”

Meanwhile, the team of doctors who recently restored a man’s sight by inserting a lens into one of his front teeth, growing the tooth on for a while in one of his cheeks and then transplanting it into his eyeball are not being considered for sainthood. This is because they achieved it all by resorting to verifiable and reproducible scientific method instead of “medically inexplicable” method.

Profit Mohammed

Yesterday, Frit learned from reliable sources of the huge sums of money stashed away in the private European bank accounts of the bearded holy men who run Iran, from the Supreme Leader down, even including the account numbers. Huge as these sums are, they are said to be paltry in comparison to the vast amounts each beard has tucked away in banks in other, non-Christian countries. If true, this makes a mockery of the entire pious Islamic Republic concept, so where is this staggering revelation reported or even investigated in the western media today?

Child molester bites dust, media opts for deification instead of condemnation

Michael Jackson has left us to struggle on without him. To Jackson, it mattered not if he was “Black Or White”, but that didn’t stop him from being the first person ever to start life as a young black Christian boy and end it as an old white Muslim woman. There have been better grades of American Jacksons down the years. Even a better Michael Jackson who came up with a useful printing process innovation and sustained an injury at the Battle of Bunker Hill. As far as Frit knows, this individual never rogered a single child in his life, let alone bred any for that specific purpose. The painting also features a better grade of famous Jackson, Stonewall Jackson, and is entitled “Jackson is with you”, which this latest one no longer is. May his memory quickly fade.

Intolerable intolerance

Frit reads that, in the UK, the Equalities and Human Rights Commission has ordered the British National Party (lefty nationalists that those who rule us like to portray as right wing) to cease prohibiting non-whites from joining the party, prohibiting them from taking jobs at the party and from failing to provide equal services to constituents based on the colour of their skin. In other words this party is not allowed to stand for what it stands for and it will be taken to court and financially ruined and people will be put in prison and the world will be well again. Frit wonders if the Equalities and Human Rights Commission will now be writing to any Methodist organisations, businesses, associations etc. making similar demands.

Ginger whinger

The two princes of the politically correct UK (United Kaliphate) have appeared on video with one making a remark about the other’s baldness and the other countering with a remark about the other‘s gingerness. A prize global warmer, busybody and founder of a charity named “Act Against Bullying” has thus gone to the trouble of informing the nation that the remark about gingerness “is risky and could be taken out of context by children”. The remark about baldness drew no comment from this ginger headed botherer, whereas Frit, bald as a coot himself, is very upset by it.

The simpering ginger schoolmarm in question, Louise Burpit-Cons, can be seen wittering on about “World Kindness” (but not for bald people) at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5RBbT2DzyM&feature=channel_page

Revolution

In Tehran, people are standing on their roofs at night chanting “Allahu Akbar, death to the dictator”, meaning Madmood Madjihaddymad.

30 years ago in Tehran, people stood on their roofs at night chanting “Allahu Akbar, death to the dictator”, meaning the Shah.

Kind compassionate liberal slaughters fly in cold blood

The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King swatted a fly to death in full view of all his spellbound minions, then joked about it, called the fly a “sucker” and had the camera move close up on it. Quite an Abu Ghraibesque moment. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), an organisation that recently spent 9,370.00 dollars on a walk-in freezer in which to store the corpses of all the dogs it kills (that’s 9,370.00 dollars of the money collected from the gullible and the young to find the same dogs new homes), is not amused. It wants him to take a more compassionate attitude the next time he’s bothered by a fly at the White House. However, those mesmerised souls who feed us the news choose not to speculate as to why such a kind and considerate liberal would so carelessly reveal the vile butcher lurking within in front of the entire nation in that way. Instead they opt to denigrate flies for being “irritating” and for “contaminating food” and to praise the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King for his coordination, accuracy and speed. Watching the video again, Frit is not so sure, his movements look more like straightforward involuntary reflex reactions once he’d noticed the fly in question was a Christian fly.

The picture shows other flies flocking to the funeral of their fallen comrade.

Stop and search

Is it true that British police are stopping and searching thousands of obviously innocent white people under counter-terrorism powers simply to provide a racial balance in official statistics? Yes, it is true. It is depressingly true. It is a depressingly true cowardly and manipulative frightening lie. It is now time for everyone above the rank of sergeant to be dismissed from the British police force and removed from the public payroll.

Please don’t mention the family tree, unless it’s the Bush family tree

In the USA, the mesmerised have renamed another street after you know who. The street used to be 40th Avenue in West Park (Hollywood Florida subdivision), but now it's officially called Barack Obama Boulevard. Why not Barack Hussein Obama Boulevard? Why not Barry Soetoro Boulevard? Why not Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King Concourse Leading Straight To Mecca?

Meanwhile, a Republican is in trouble for implying that Michelle descended from a gorilla whereas it’s far more likely that gorillas descended from Michelle.

Pirate Party

Whilst it is depressing to see that parochial national socialist dross dressed in right wing clothing, such as the British BNP party, gained ground in the European elections, it is encouraging to see that true parties of the right, such as the Dutch Party for Freedom, also made headway. However, the elections also served to highlight the inbuilt Achilles heel of democracy in that some 9 % of the electorate in Sweden, i.e. juvenile nitwits, voted for the Pirate Party, the sole aim of which is to alter the patent and copyright laws to the detriment of the creative in order to provide free music, films and video games. Screw economic and foreign policy; just give us something for nothing. Frit is now thinking of campaigning to allow five-year-olds to vote, whereupon he intends to found the Pirate Theme Birthday Party party to get a seat in the European Parliament himself.

Crystal balls

Political correctness is reaching dizzy heights in Britain. The Red Cross is to stop using the red cross symbol as it offends Methodists, reminding them of the crusades. It is to be replaced by the red crystal irrespective of the fact that the red crystal symbol reminds Frit, and many others, of the loathsome invasion of the giant red crystal shrimps back in 1227. Also, the British ambassador to Poland has been criticised by Polish officials for supporting a march planned by ‘gay rights’ groups. The ambassador said he was simply acting in line with Foreign Office policy, which calls on staff to push ‘gay rights’ when representing the UK abroad. Does this mean the staff are pushing the same gay rights with equal vigour when representing the UK in Riyadh?

Cut down to size

Having heard that "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" (Matthew 19:24), the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King and his family have been spotted in the eye of the needle frantically attempting to wave their camel through.

Tedious unelected money printer comes to grief on Obama Beach

People are saying that unelected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Boredom Brown, the first ever holder of that office to allow his cabinet ministers to appoint themselves as long as they keep him on as leader, suffered one of his irritating and deeply unattractive spasms of the mouthparts right in the middle of his recent D-Day speech, causing him to make a painfully revealing Freudian slip – “Obama Beach” instead of “Omaha Beach”. They say Obama Beach is the beautiful place where, in his fantasies, Brown and his not so brown hero skip along in the sunshine together, hand in hand, with bare torsos and equal popularity figures, off into the bright new socialist-Islamist future where there is no recession and no expense accounts and where even the one-eyed are considered equal.

However, after careful analysis of the actual tape using voice analysis software, Frit is convinced this was no slip of the tongue at all. Instead, Brown was thinking of the recent episode when Michele Obama was in London and refused to sit next to him at dinner in case his glass eye fell out onto her plate. Brown is still vexed about this issue and is known to mumble about it under his breath, in Scottish, all the time. Thus his words were not about paying tribute “next to Obama Beach” at all, but rather about not having been allowed to sit “next to that Obama bitch”.

The wonderful light

Have we all had enough of gabbering arty poltroons on TV talking about the “wonderful light” of a specific place? Cornwall has uniquely wonderful light, apparently, as has Tuscany. The state of Maine has it too. So do Australia and New Mexico. There’s a lot of it about. The picture shows mere fabulous light, which is quite different and more rare.

Brown fish

Frit reads that, according to fishmongers, a type of fish, the dab, which fell out of favour with diners in Britain because it is “unpleasant tasting” is now making a comeback as it is cheap and all the British people can now afford, thanks to the efforts of unelected Prime Minister of Britain Boredom Brown. Curiously, the dab is described as a “small brown fish”, and, looking at this picture, Frit could swear it sports but a single eye. Meanwhile, after revelations that North Korea’s unsavoury leader Kim Jong-il eats live fish, it is rumoured that Brown is now thinking of seeking refuge from the electorate and the expense account police in that country, safe in the knowledge that many have mistaken him for a one-eyed fish down the years, but never for a live one.

Royal Navy sets pirates free to commit further acts of piracy to be paid for by insurance companies/consumer

Last week, the British Royal Navy captured a bunch of Somali pirates, deprived them of their weapons, made them a cup of tea and sent them off home. The lily-livered rules of engagement state that pirates may only be apprehended if caught in the act of attacking a vessel. Being in a gang of cutthroats cruising the high seas in a speedboat armed to the teeth with machineguns and rocket launchers is simply no grounds for apprehending any disgraceful murdering son of a bitch.

Goodbye America

After the Multimillionaire White African King’s performance yesterday in Egypt, Frit has decided to refer to him on this site as the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King from now on.

Short speech

Today is the day the Multimillionaire White African King is set to deliver his much vaunted and much anticipated big speech to the Arab world in Egypt. By dubious means, and at substantial expense, Frit has managed to obtain an advance copy of this speech. It is very short and to the point. It reads simply “Allahu Akbar, off with the infidel’s head”. Brief it might be but he’ll still be using a teleprompter to deliver it.

Laughing pig resigns office

Disgraceful corrupt deceitful wishy-washy Jacqui Smith, British Home Secretary, is at long last resigning. She is not resigning for reasons of honour, having been caught red handed with her nose deeply buried in the public trough. She is resigning because she has no choice. She is retiring to a pig farm. There are many who hope she chooses one in Egypt.

Marbles with Cyclops

Leafing through some dusty old papers recently, Frit learned that, when at school, unelected Prime Minster of Britain and expenses account fiddler Boredom Brown won a large marble from another boy in a game. As this was Brown’s only win in life, he was very fond of the marble and always slept with it beneath his pillow. Later on, when he poked out one of his own eyes with a stick in a fit of self loathing, he replaced it with his favourite old marble, and has worn it to this day. Of course, as has been recently discovered in the expenses account scandal, this didn’t stop him from charging the British taxpayer for dozens of very expensive new glass eyes per week, glass eyes that were never in fact purchased, and certainly not purchased from his brother. But, despite this revelation, despite the similar revelations concerning the rest of his government and despite the fact that support for his party has apparently fallen to less than 20%, with the British population overwhelmingly demanding immediate elections, Brown, after careful consideration, has decided not to stand down. His dedication to democracy, to the wishes of others and the needs of the country is too great!

Frit tracked down the three Scots lads pictured. They never let Brown play marbles with them. They claim he always cheated. Nor could they keep a straight face when confronted with those curious spasms of his mouthparts.

Shock jock sues pig

Nice to know Michael Savage is going ahead and suing the human pig who currently holds the office of British Home Secretary, and who placed his name on a list of undesirable murderers and mad people a short while ago. He wants a public apology plus substantial damages. Frit hears that, in turn, the Home Secretary is thinking of suing the Prophet Mohammed for including her on a list of banned meats.

The photograph shows the Home Secretary’s husband riding her to work.

Mohamed Atta was a pansy

Surely all who chance to see the glorification video made by Mohamed Atta and one of the other bright sparks who destroyed the World Trade Centre, slaughtering all within, must know they are looking at two lonely boys wanting nothing other than to get their hands inside each other’s pants. Unable to deal with this, being the products of societies where such acts are punishable by death, they went out and did something they thought really manly instead.

There appear to be two alternative spellings for the terrorist organisation that represents their religion: ‘Al-Qaeda’, which is short for Arabs Like Queers And Eat Dead Animals, and ‘Al-Kaida’, which is short for Arabs Love Killing Any Infidel Dumb Ass.

Slick essence

How nice of the Multimillionaire White African King to inform us that Guantanamo inmates “may be dangerous, in which case we can't release them”. How nice of him to kindly explain that deciding how to deal with them is going to be one of the “biggest problems” with closing Guantanamo. "It's a messy situation. It's not easy," he kindly informs us. Really? Really? We thought it was a straightforward situation. We thought it was easy. We really did. We thought it was only difficult for George Bush, who said “I'd like to close Guantanamo, but I also recognize that we're holding some people there that are darn dangerous”. But then George Bush is just a fool, of course. Around a year ago, for example, the Multimillionaire White African King told gullible and young voters that the Guantanamo issue is about “the essence of who we are”, whereas George Bush could only manage “No question, Guantanamo sends a signal to some of our friends — provides an excuse, for example, to say the United States is not upholding the values that they're trying to encourage other countries to adhere to”.

In essence, the difference between Democrats and Republicans is very evident in the statements “may be dangerous” and “are darn dangerous”. Democrats are so much more conditional and polite, aren’t they. That’s what makes them so likeable.

Legal profession guilty of bringing down civilisation

Three British judges have ruled that British soldiers are “covered by the right to life”. Soldiers should receive the full protection of the Human Rights Act even when they are on the battlefield, they say. Judges in other countries are sure to follow suit. This means that every family of a dead soldier is going to go to court to obtain compensation (money). This means it is no longer possible to run an army, to fight a war, i.e. the end of civilisation’s ability to defend itself. Democracy is now set for its inevitable downfall due to its fatal inbuilt flaw, i.e. equal voting rights given to the gullible, the young, the greedy, the hapless and other groups whose shortcomings leave them vulnerable to the manipulations of the leftist professional classes, ever eager to sink their teeth into as much money, power and prestige as a constant show of sham self-righteousness can bring in. Judges are typical and representative of this class, and perhaps its most insidious element.

Of course, anyone knows that, were the law written in stone, computers could dispense justice and we would need no judges. The fact that it is not written in stone means that it is always a matter of the interpretation, opinion and prejudice of the judge. So whenever judges excuse their destructive decisions on the basis that “the law is the law”, they are always telling a whopping lie for their own career prospects and their own financial gain. Stuff civilisation!

Hectomillionaire lands big UN job

The UN is once more handing out jobs to its own. This time hectomillionaire Bill Clinton is to be UN Special Envoy to Haiti. Frit thought Donald Rumsfeld might be given that job. Bill says he’s delighted. Apparently, no direct salary is paid to special envoys. All the money, power and prestige accumulate indirectly. The Haitians themselves are probably not so delighted as they already have sufficient numbers of crooks around to diddle their junior staff and sweet-talk their way out of it. They also have sufficient numbers of aids cases already.

In the picture, two Haitians can be seen in voodoo garb, casting a spell to keep Bill’s hands out of their purses and their pants.

Thank God for interreligious dialogue

The German federal state of Hessen is trying to award the Hessian Culture Prize for Interreligious Dialogue to those deemed to have been doing really good work in that field. Two Christians were chosen, a Jew was chosen and an individual representing that other religion that is really beginning to get so much on everybody’s nerves was chosen. But the individual representing the religion that is really beginning to get so much on everybody’s nerves, and who has done such wonders for interreligious dialogue over the years, apparently, declined to accept the prize as it would have meant him having to share a podium with a Jew! Another individual representing that same religion was then chosen, but the two Christians then protested on grounds that this individual has been known to utter negative statements concerning the symbol of the cross. So nobody representing the religion that is really beginning to get so much on everybody’s nerves is receiving one of the prizes this year. Hey ho . . .

Papal Palestinian Pandering Pilgrimage

The pope, the biggest little catholic alive, has been seen wearing a Keffiyah that really didn’t go with the particular model of burka he had on at the time. Also, Keffiyah is an ancient Methodist word derived from Keffi, meaning “scarf”, and Yah, meaning “I’ll cut off your f!!k!!g head if you don’t submit to Methodist supremacy and wear one of these scarves you infidel rotter”. So this choice of fashion accessory appears inappropriate. He must say three Hail Maries, pirouette a couple of times and pray for forgiveness from his predecessor, Pope John Pole, the all-time greatest Pope ever, who indecently suffered for us all so much on camera that we couldn’t wait to see the back of him.

The picture shows the diminutive pope, in his new Keffiyah, riding off to Jerusalem on his recent crusade.

Government of Myanmar arrests most selfless woman alive

This week, saintly Nobel Laureate and heavyweight liberal media money-spinner Aung San Suu Kyi Who Mostly Stays At Home For Tea will be dining elsewhere.

In this recent portrait, the saint in question is depicted wearing some of her many spare haloes stacked up round her neck for convenient storage.

Feminist movement picky about where to apply muscle

Frit notes that, in Sweden, it is now okay for adherents of a certain religion to abort female foetuses at will. So where is the outcry from the feminist movement? Over at the UN Women’s Watch site, for instance, the mighty United Nations Inter-Agency Network on Women and Gender Equality has a very great deal to say about “incorporating gender equality issues into urban development policies”, and about “women’s voices being raised by the Global Gender Climate Alliance at the climate talks in Bonn”, and about many similarly weighty issues, but has not a word to say about killing the women of the future, in Europe, for reasons of sheer prejudice and financial gain. Almost makes you think that people at the United Nations Inter-Agency Network on Women and Gender Equality are just in it for the money, power and prestige.

Dog eats dog

Is there anything more revolting than watching dog eating dog on TV? It happened in the UK, when one of the dogs who rule over us bit one of the bitches that rule over us and feed us the news as she quizzed him on the current MPs' expenses fiddling scandal, asking her how much licence fee money she pockets for her important work. He demanded “freedom of information”. “92,000 pounds”, she admitted, without shame. That is more than the 64,766 pounds paid to MPs, the dog replied, skilfully not mentioning the much larger sums paid to Fiddler in Chief Boredom Brown and his gang of expert fiddling cabinet ministers. “I don't even make a personal phone call from the BBC, as I understand what public sector money is about”, the bitch shamefully then lied.

Yes, good to see dog eating dog in this way, but it is a rare event. Both live from each other and they know it. As Frit has often pointed out in previous posts, he believes it the primary duty of every right-leaning person to ask each and every left-leaning person to show us their bank statements every time they open their mouths in public. It is the only way they can be exposed. It is the only way they can be stopped. There is no shame in earning money, there is only shame in earning money from preaching to the gullible and the young that there's shame in earning it.

Dog can be seen eating dog at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6AnZLm2Zvg

The religion of science

After reading that, in Britain, a Methodist chef is claiming big money from the British taxpayer on grounds that his employer wanted him to handle pork (because he’s a chef) and handling pork is against his religion, and after reading that the Halal Food Authority, no less, states that "An animal should not be dead prior to slaughter", Frit is heading for Saudi Arabia. The intention is to seek employment in an abattoir and sue the pants off anybody who expects him not to kill anything that’s already dead, on grounds of this being against Frit’s religion, i.e. making sense. The Saudi taxpayer can jolly well cough up.

But reading further down the Halal Food Authority’s page this plan goes awry as it seems that slaughtering may only be carried out by an actual proper Methodist. Non-Methodists are simply unfit for it, although they are kindly allowed to perform downstream abattoir tasks such as skinning and gutting, packaging, transporting and so forth. Nothing racist about that. The Halal Food Authority also tells Frit that Methodism "Is a religion of science, a science which without laboratory testing gave us a covenant that blood is not allowed to be consumed and its raw form could be a hazard and an imperilment to human health. Centuries later, we have the affirmation from Mister Scientist that it is harmful for humankind!" They are so damned scientific. So many light-years ahead of us. So damned smart!

Mandatory Volunteerism

In a recent post concerning the subject of slavery, Frit noted that the present incumbent of the White House might well be ironically instrumental in reintroducing it. Nowadays it’s called “mandatory volunteerism”. The difference between mandatory volunteerism and old style American slavery is that, under mandatory volunteerism, whites and blacks both get to pick the cotton for nothing side by side. Then, in the evenings, both get to serve together in the Ku Klux Klan.

Saintly and selfless people on the fiddle

Unelected Prime Minister of Britain Boredom Brown and his team of British labour government spongers have lately been caught fiddling their expenses to such good effect that their poll ratings have hit bottom and it looks very much like we shall see the back of them soon. Irish lefty terrorists Adams and McGuiness are embroiled in it in a big way, too, and Palestinian passport holder hero George Galloway has been revealed as the biggest fiddler of all.
The defence of all these assorted dishonourable individuals is to say that others, such as Frit, fiddle their expenses too. This argument doesn’t wash because the difference is that Frit is not a saint. Frit will readily tell anybody, right upfront, that he’ll fiddle the hell out of any expenses account anyone is fool enough to put him on, as effectively and consistently as he possibly can, because that’s what you do with expenses, whereas Boredom Brown and the rest of the sanctimonious selfless crew spend all their time hoodwinking the gullible and the young into thinking they do otherwise.

Savage conspiracy

Frit notes that, to silence an individual it doesn’t agree with, the European Parliment has had to change its rules. The original rules mistakenly stated that the “oldest serving member of parliament” should make the opening speech of the new session and not that the “oldest serving member of parliament whose views you agree with” should make it. This has now been duly corrected to the benefit of all.

Meanwhile, the banning of Michael Savage from the Islamo-Feminist-Samesexer Land of Hope and Glory, Mother of the Free, a similar instance, is causing Frit to doubt some of what he himself wrote in the right-hand column of this blog a long time ago. This implies that the global takeover and control of all aspects of information and society by one self-seeking group of assorted liberal professionals is an organic, almost unintentional process, stemming from the fact that those who make up this group simply share a common brain and thus a common agenda and therefore have no need to conspire out loud or in writing, as it were, to achieve it. However, putting Michael Savage on a list of true unsavouries and banning him from entering a European country that he had no intention of visiting makes the entire thing start to appear more like a very conscious, deliberate, orchestrated, carefully coordinated and planned sinister international conspiracy. Sources tell Frit that he might well be next to be deprived of opportunity to pig out on fish and chips whilst treading streets paved with gum and dog shit in that once green and pleasant land. As might we all.

Hope to no avail

When recently giving evidence in Washington to the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton said the situation in Pakistan "poses a mortal threat to the security and safety of our country and the world". She dares to kindly point this out to us, and those who feed us the news dare to report it as a revelation, when she, and they, and the White African King and every other single one of those who rule us campaigned so relentlessly for so long to bring down the Musharaf government, made up of soldiers in uniforms (shudder), which struggled so valiantly for so long to keep the lid on that dangerously over-procreating and nuclear armed country. When that government was finally brought down, the BBC, mouthpiece of the British wing of those who rule us and who earn so well from screwing civilisation, famously commented that “The hope is a return to democracy will help calm the situation”.

Stand up, stand up for Jesus

Have we all seen the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbPrIixvzv8 showing the mainstream press heroes jumping to their feet for the entrance of the Multimillionaire White African King, then being given permission to sit? Are we all sickened and unbelieving? In the view of Frit and Mrs Frit, in the past, if you wanted to be a voluntarily mesmerised dishonest biased lying arse licker sheep intent on earning money from perverting the causes of truth, you had to try to disguise it from others somehow. Times must have changed.

Short history of slavery

The following is a short history of slavery produced for the benefit of the wife of the Multimillionaire White African King and others who lack an understanding of history due to blinkered prejudice.

1. Slavery began right back in caveman times when the two or three biggest cavemen in the tribe bullied the other cavemen into doing the work.
2. The same principle went on to apply in early civilisations where anyone able to get together a decent collection of bruisers with swords lorded it over the rest.
3. With the advent of trade, slaves began to have an economic value. They could be bought and sold and thus became a currency in themselves.
4. In the fifteenth century, when Europeans started the westward trade in African slaves, they purchased them at the local market because almost everybody in the whole of Africa was a slave at that time. So was almost everyone in Europe, in one way or another.
5. In the sixteenth century, Oliver Cromwell exported Irish people and gypsies over the Atlantic as slaves. There are records of freed black slaves in the West Indies and Louisiana owning British gypsies. It “was not unknown” for Scottish clan chiefs to sell off some of their own clan folk into “indenture” in America whenever they felt hard up.
6. In the late nineteenth century, after having grown up in the workhouse, a place where illegitimate children and the destitute were forced to work for nothing at that time, Henry Morton Stanley crossed darkest Africa from west to east. He made the journey in the company of a man who already knew his way around in darkest Africa because he had been there many times in the course of his time-honoured business obtaining slaves for export eastward to the Arab markets.
7. Slavery was officially outlawed in Saudi Arabia in the nineteen sixties, although it is true to say that women there still have the status of property today.

Slavery is not something white people did to Africans who were living very nice lives in paradise before that thank you. Slavery has been an established institution throughout the whole of history, the fundamental basis of the human socio-economic system and the driving force behind the organisation and progress of civilisation. At the moment outright slavery is absent in most of the world. But it will be back. Ironically, the present occupants of the White House might well be the ones most instrumental in heading us in that direction.

The photograph shows Simon Aban Deng, a refugee from Sudan, who, as a child, spent several years as a domestic slave. Real life is a little more complicated, Michelle.

Gross contradiction

Yesterday, when sentencing two thick jihadis for attending Taleban terrorist training camps, British judge Mr Justice Gross said they had betrayed the country that had given them a home. He said the sentence had to deter other Britons from attending such camps. He said that if it is not already clear it must be made clear that such conduct is unacceptable. Most importantly, he said that unless and until they both saw the world in very different terms there is “a very real likelihood of them reoffending in the future”.

He then sentenced the two to seven years’ jail with them likely to be freed to reoffend in a year and four months, having already been in jail for two years.

In Frit’s opinion, Mr Justice Gross should be put on trial for committing gross contradictionism at taxpayer expense.

The fear of fat

The fear of death from fat amongst those who rule us is truly widespread and has now led to a situation where emaciation has become the true badge of belonging. Something akin to the secret sign of the freemasons, emaciation is the way in which our rulers identify one another across the street. TV journalists, in particular, appear to be wasting away before our very eyes, and, as for the Multimillionaire White African King, well, what can one say? It is rumoured he spends one and a half hours in the gym each day to keep himself looking so wan and wasted. Can it be that his security people insist he be less than the thickness of a bullet? Can it be that he has an eating disorder as a direct result of fearing that another ounce might undo him when walking on water? Can it be that his wife just won’t cook him any damned thing?

Frit is concerned for his welfare and recommends lardo served with garlic, cream, and some nice red wine. Or perhaps white wine, to go with his colour. He can certainly afford a good bottle. Championing the poor and disadvantaged has already filled his coffers so well.

The pictures show him as a boy and as he is now, a mere shadow of himself.

The banning of the words

Frit notes that the CAIR organisation (Council on American-Islamic Relations, or Cuddly Allah’s Islamic Racists, some say), has issued the American government with a list of 10 words/concepts that it recomends are not used in connection with its religion, as using them might cause us all to be butchered. These words are:

The Clash of Civilizations
Secular
Assimilation
Reformation
Jihadi
Moderate
Interfaith
Freedom
Religious Freedom
Tolerance

In Frit’s view, we can only avoid The Clash of Civilizations if every jihadi loonatic soon learns to respect tolerance, freedom and religious freedom in secular, interfaith societies by becoming more moderate and by accepting assimilation through a process of reformation.

Piggy flu

Multimillionaire White African King Obama’s strategy for defending the American people from the new strain of swine flu virus is to apologise to it and offer it respect. And, as human cases normally only occur in those who have close contact with pigs, most of the British cabinet is refusing to sit round the table with Home Secretary Jacqui Smith this week.

UN bounders smell cash in seeking to “investigate Bush officials” over treatment of terrorists

Frit accuses two “senior UN officials”, Manfred Novak and Martin Scheinin, of torture, by making it impossible for people to tell them apart. Which has the prettiest big hairdo? Which wears his specs at the jauntiest angle? Which looks better against a pale blue background? Which has the eyes that can get him into the pockets and the pants of the gullible and the young the fastest? Impossible to tell. Most of those tortured by these questions eventually go mad and end up waterboarding themselves before jumping off the top of the UN building. Both men should be investigated and exposed. Their bank statements should be made public; their real ages should be published to see if they tally with such surprising lack of hair loss.

The age of piracy

Instead of being forced to walk the plank, a Somali pirate has been taken all the way to the USA, at taxpayer expense, to be fed and watered and put on trial at taxpayer expense and defended at taxpayer expense, despite the fact that the entire world already knows he is guilty. The first issue the American legal system will be feeding from for a very long time is the disputed age of the pirate concerned. Be he adult he can be treated as a pirate in need of his just deserts, i.e. a jolly good telling off, probably, and a reminder that pirates appear only in stories. Be he teenaged he must be treated as a wholesome good person whose education has been insufficient and whom copious input of further taxpayer money is sure to redeem.

Sadly, in the real world, teenaged male thugs with weapons are, and have always been, the greatest menace civilisation can possibly ever face. Old enough to kill people and wreck civilisation means old enough to die.

Racist given big platform

Frit notes that Bonky Loon, biggest cheese at the United Nations, having organised an anti racism conference and having invited the biggest racist in the world, i.e. Methodist supremacist madman mad Madmood Madjihadymad, to speak at it, is now whining because a lot of racist hate speech was forthcoming. Fit notes that Bonky Loon has not resigned his office, neither has he called an immediate end to this entire expensive liberal bonding session. Frit also notes that no self-important moral liberal legal institution has issued an international warrant for the arrest of mad Madmood Madjihadymad for spouting hate on every television set in the world, or for any other of his conscientious contributions to bringing about the third world war.

Interrogators graciously let ‘off the hook’

Dick Cheney tells the terrorists that protecting the country’s security is “a tough, mean, dirty, nasty business.”

The present incumbent of the White House tells the terrorists that interrogation tactics adopted by the former administration “undermine our moral authority and do not make us safer”.

Questions:

Which statement do the college professors get most encouragement from?

Which statement do the terrorists get most encouragement from?

International pirate milking scam

The legal profession is at last setting up an International Pirate Milking Court. The initiative is being headed by the Multimillionaire White African President himself (who took 2.8 million dollars off the poor and stupid on book sales alone, last year). The opportunity to earn big money from drawn out proceedings against teenage lowlife delinquents who everybody in the world knows are guilty (because they are caught in the act in canoes with machineguns 500 miles offshore) was just too promising to miss. One bullet per unpleasant thug might be the preferred option of the taxpayer, but who would that keep in clover for goodness’ sake?

How much was that doggy in the window in any case?

It seems the origins of ‘Bo’ the water dog puppy are shrouded in mystery. During the election campaign the world was told that, when Barry became President Barry, the family would adopt a poor, sad, downtrodden abandoned mutt from a dog’s home rather than go out and buy one for money from a super pedigree pooch breeder like trashy rich conservatives would. But was this election promise broken?

Nobody seems to know. The dog’s birth certificate seems to have disappeared, just like Barry’s. Some say the dog was born in Kenya and not in Hawaii, as claimed, and is therefore not a true American dog and has no place gnawing bones in the White House. Some say the dog’s real father is Ted Kennedy. Others say the real father is a Kenyan animal extensively used for breeding purposes in Kenya until run over by a car in 1982. Samson, one of this dog’s many male offspring, and Bo’s brother, is a well-known sexual pervert. Recently, on his way to America to enjoy the big ceremony that was held to mark Bo’s entry into the White House, during which Bo yapped a false note and was made to yap it again in private the next day, Samson was refused entry to Britain for previously having attempted to roger a passing underage water dog puppy girl on an earlier visit to that country.

This fact was considered unfit for public consumption at the time and has only now been revealed, though with much less enthusiasm and accompanying comment than would have been the case were Bo a vicious conservative mutt instead of a friendly, cute, cuddly liberal mutt. The Bo in the picture is quite another Bo, but one that appears equally fond of being wet.

Navy scuppers pirates, White House tries to walk off with the swag

The absurd plan to rescue Capt. Richard Phillips revealed exclusively by Frit on this site yesterday (i.e. having a pet water dog puppy swim over to lick the chops of the pirates until they all say “Ahhhh he’s so cute” and surrender) went badly awry later in the day when the on-scene commander took advantage of a loophole in his orders to fire off a full broadside, sending every one of those murderous cutthroats to a well deserved watery grave.

We shall all expect the White House to be claiming the credit for this successful action, but we know better. The orders from the top were rubbish orders, “only if” orders. The on-scene commander is the hero for interpreting the orders with flexibility. He let us down only in having not forced the one captured pirate to walk the plank at once, before the legal profession has opportunity to start eating big dinners from him.

Their “first puppy”

The familly that now infests the White House, the children of which are never used for publicity purposes, has now at last chosen which particular breed of dog is to soil the lawns on its behalf (but not the lawn they dug up for Michelle to have slaves grow vegetables in). A Portuguese water dog, no less, formerly used to herd fish into nets around the coasts of Portugal. The official version is that the children never used for publicity purposes fell for this dog, but Frit and others suspect it was chosen for its swimming prowess in the hope that it might rescue the captured American captain from the clutches of the Somali pirates, though without biting any.

Ted Kennedy apparently already has three of these dogs. He acquired them in the hope that they might pull him out of any more ponds he happens to drive into whilst drunk, leaving any female passengers to fend for themselves.

The origin of the waxing and the waning of the moon

When God created the sun he shaped it in the form of an ‘O’ by way of foretelling the coming of Obama. But when he created the moon, intended to foretell the coming of Michelle, he had trouble deciding whether it should be in the form of another ‘O’ for Obama’s wife or in the form of a ‘C’ for cow, and he left the project incomplete. Later on, the adherents of a certain religion adopted the crescent shape as their symbol as it looked like something you could very well use to cut off a person’s head with.

Happy Easter to all Frit readers. I hope both of you have a nice time.

Italians found worshipping false gods

The Multimillionaire President of the United States, who recently gave 900 million dollars to Gaza, is giving 50,000 dollars to Italian Earthquake victims. Italians are obviously of the wrong religion, unlike Americans, as, according to the President, America is not a Christian country. The President has also told the Turkish parliament, and thus the wider Methodist world, that “We will bridge misunderstanding, and we will seek common ground. We will be respectful even when we do not agree.” For instance, we do not agree with wanting to take over the world and kill all us infidels, but we respect it.

Social integration

In an earlier post, Frit registered his dislike of vegetarians. They are petty tyrants who expect you to cook without meat when they visit you but expect not to cook with meat when you visit them. This makes them pretty much like Methodists. Methodists expect you to wear a headscarf, eat asphyxiated sheep, drink no beer, blame the Jew for everything and treat your women like dogs etc. when you visit their country but expect not to do the opposite when they visit yours.

Frit, for instance, lived in Gaza for a time. By way of integration, he went about in a burka with a machinegun and some bullets superglued to his chest at all times. He married a local girl, beat her black and blue, forced her to beget seventeen children (at least half of which were brought up as suicide bombers), fired a rocket at an Israeli every morning and pigged out on United Nations halal food aid every night. This was true integration. Exclusively wearing Frit garb, exclusively associating with and exclusively breeding with other Frits, building his own Frit churches, eating his own Frit food would all have been inappropriate and the opposite of what integration is about. And as for insisting that the locals should all become Frits and do the same . . .

Methodists who can’t adapt to life in other people’s countries should go and enjoy life somewhere else. And take the vegetarians with them.

G20 opts for global communism

As we all suspected, the G20 bright sparks opted to lead us into a brand new era of global communism. The entire world is to be run by committees stuffed with their friends. After this had all been sewn up, Frit snuck into the official knees-up by the back door, without anybody noticing. The police were busy hiding from all those “demonstrators” outside who were smashing the windows of banks with their “YES WE CAN” placards. Concealed behind Prime Minister Boredom Brown, whom he mistook for an element of the soft furnishings, Frit then secretly took this photograph of the President of the United States bowing so low to the biggest petroleum parasite of all time that it looks as if he’s attempting to lick out the oil residue gunge from between his toes. When introduced to the Queen of England, who represents America’s closest ally, a mere nod of the head sufficed.

At last we can safely say we now have conclusive photographic evidence to prove what we always suspected – he is so intent on closing Guantanamo Bay so as not to end up there himself one day soon.

Josephine Baker already lived this life you know

Frit learns that top of the pop trash Madonna has “spoken out against accusations that she is using her fame to fast-track the adoption of a 4-year-old Malawian girl” but has not spoken out against accusations that she is using a 4-year-old Malawian girl to fast-track her fame.

In the picture, other children in Malawi can be seen hiding under a tree in the bush in an effort to escape the unpleasant fate of adoption by publicity seeking trollop.

“Mighty Michelle” takes London by storm

The First Lady is in London for the G20 (or the “Gee, twenty!” as she thinks) and is making a big hit with her “understated chic”! Yesterday she accompanied the wife of Boredom Brown to a cancer centre where she said to one patient “Congratulations on being done!” The patient thanked her then went away to try to understand.

Later, a true showbiz dinner was enjoyed, cooked by television chef Jamie Oliver. The main course was “a shoulder of lamb from the Elwy Valley”. Nobody is saying if the sheep in question was halal (Hygienically Asphyxiated Lean Allah Lamb). Mighty Michelle sat next to Harry Potter scribbler J.K. Rowling, a woman whose incredible wealth will never make either attractive or happy. Mighty Michelle told Rowling that if Harry Potter’s first name began with a “B” instead of an “H” he would have more in common with her husband than just some slick tricks. She also said she had read Harry Potter to her daughter. “Congratulations on being done!” Rowling replied.

Openness at last

Forget all those doubts about the openness promised by the Multimillionaire White African President not actually being forthcoming. For now we understand – all that much vaunted openness was not meant for the American people, nor for the rest of the wider civilised world, it was meant instead for our enemies. Yes, those who want to kill us all have been openly and officially informed that US forces will not pursue them into Pakistan from Afghastlystan! They are very grateful and are now moving there in large numbers. Ever on the lookout for a business opportunity and suspecting that accommodation will be in short supply, Frit is now considering opening a hotel down there, the South Waziristan Albergo Talibano.

Picture shows the queue at the border just after the announcement was made.

Pork pies are off, Sir

Frit notes that the lily-livered socialist turds who run Britain have banned all pork products from the upcoming G20 banquet in deference to the idiotic archaic traditions of the adherents of a certain irritating religion that is really beginning to get on everybody’s nerves (Indonesia, Saudi Arabia and Turkey are the three that are foisting their culture on all the rest). Not sure if this applies to live pigs and thus to Home Secretary and common thief Jacqui Smith, whose visual similarity to a live pig is almost universally accepted. Meanwhile, her husband has humiliatingly apologised for having watched some disturbing films at the taxpayer’s expense without going blind. Apparently, the aforementioned live pig he married was not at home when all this took sordid place. He did not specifically state whether any other pig standing in for her or any other animals involved were organically raised.

Jobs, justice and climate

Around 35,000 no-hopers with nothing to do marched through London this weekend “for jobs, justice and climate”. The counter demo would presumably be “for unemployment, injustice and no climate”. They all trooped along dripping with the milk of their own kindness and hoping to get laid, the usual bevy of minor celebrity “activists” on hand to issue encouraging simplistic gems like “politics should be about people not about profit”. Such a cute line. Spoken by an actor, of course. The actor in question once played the Baldrick character in Blackadder, the British television comody series. He has never made a penny of profit in his life, not even from making a television programme showing his own mother’s death.

Blackadder once tried to teach Baldrick mathematics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=328Q79GoR7g), asking “I have two beans and then I add two more beans. What does that make?”

“A very small casserole”, replied Baldrick. This, of course, was funny. At the time, we didn’t realise he couldn’t make things out any better in real life.

The picture shows the political activist in question showing off a red dress brimful of the profits that accrue from making politics about people instead of profits. Although profits less than half your age but more than twice your size perhaps don’t count.

Nothing new under the sun

Frit is a founder member of the organisation known as WOW (War on Warmers). On behalf of this organisation, Frit has now completed a study that conclusively proves what many have suspected for quite some time: the climate of the planet is controlled by the sun. The study involved sitting outdoors for an hour on a warm day and looking upwards.

Meanwhile, a new study entitled “Falsification of the Atmospheric CO2 Greenhouse Effects Within the Frame of Physics” has been published in the International Journal of Modern Physics by German physicists Gerlich and Tscheuschner. Neither this study nor the work of the recent Conference on Climate Change in New York, nor the work of WOW, are being afforded much attention by the mainstream media that feeds all too well from the warming trough to ever pull out its snout.

Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso (born Lhamo Döndrub) keep out

South Africa, apple of the eye state to that whole generation of anti-apartheid activists who now rule the world, is refusing to let into its territory the Downright Lama, the current pet symbol of apartheid and oppression. And for money! Chinese money! How will they cope?

The Downright Lama himself is unconcerned, it being a simple matter for him to do a wibbly-wobbly fadeout on one side of the border to re-emerge as another being on the other. It’s how he got where he is today, after all. The picture shows the Downright Lama and a well-known South African mouth on legs practicing levitation together in happier times.

Brown and not so brown

Unelected Prime Minister of Britain, Boredom Brown, and unfairly media-elected President of the United States, generally known as The Multimillionaire White African King, appear to be wrangling over which of them is to lead the world out of recession and depression and save us all from the inevitably resulting Third World War.

Both are claiming this role and Frit is concerned that they might injure each other at fisticuffs, fighting for the privilege. Frit is unsure which to support. Brown has the less cocksure and reckless comedy routines of the two, having not yet appeared on TV to disparage the disabled nor to laugh and sneer at the entire financial collapse and auto industry and banking crises. He also has fewer eyes than his opponent. But the President has youth on his side and is probably too thin for Brown to land a decent punch on. He also has race on his side. And Allah. We’ll just have to wait and see which one of them kayos the other and saves our bacon first.

Cherry Blair syndrome infects White House

Green food bore and slavery witterer Michelle Hussein Obama, who, like Cherry Blair, appears to have trouble remembering that she is just somebody’s wife, did a good photo op digging up the White House lawn the other day whilst wearing an extremely inappropriate townie frock. She intends growing vegetables (not personally of course – vegetables are grown in dirt and imply actual work, she’s getting a slave to do it). The idea is to keep herself, her anorexic husband and her children (who are never made use of for publicity purposes) in fresh greens. Does everyone already just loath this horrifyingly daft individual, want to put her on a slave ship along with Cherry Blair and feed them both exclusively on fries, cola and remember you’re just somebody’s wife pills?

Canada declares war on ticks

Today, Frit thanks the Canadian nation for standing up for the welfare of its wildlife and declaring a downer on bloodsucking parasites by refusing entry to Palestinian passport holder and renowned tick George Galloway. Well done! A glimpse at the poor moose above, suffering hair loss associated with tick infestation explains why.

In gratitude, Frit and Mrs Frit have agreed to double their intake of maple syrup and to revise their attitude to millions of square miles of bear-infested frozen wasteland.

Haha, Mr Methodist, funny or what

To laughter from the audience, a speaker at a meeting of lunatic Methodist supremacists held in Istanbul (dubbed the Global Anti-Aggression Campaign!!!) said that twice as many babies were born as children were killed during the recent war in Gaza.

When is the world going to wake up to the fact that breeding rates amongst Methodists are the true challenge of the age? If there is this much trouble in Gaza with only two million people, how on earth are we going to cope when there are ten million? The threat is not from insane ideologies in themselves, but from the sheer numbers of people who share them and try to implement them.

The graph shows the Age and Sex Composition of the Palestinian Population in Gaza Strip and the West Bank (including East Jerusalem), 2005.

Meagre earnings from pirates

As predicted by anyone with any sense, there has been no decrease in piracy attempts around the horn of Africa despite the presence of many fearsome warships that are hugely expensive to maintain. Nor is there likely to be any decrease as long as the pirates (romantic word for armed robbers) know that these fearsome warships are only ever going to arrest them and never sink them.

Meanwhile, the legal system in Germany has already made some good money, but not all that much, from issuing arrest warrants for nine pirates captured by a German warship and then from changing its mind, declaring that the nine will not be taken to Germany for trial after all. The odd reason given for this decision is that “no German interests were considered endangered in the attack” on the German owned cargo ship concerned! One suspects that such a decision to refrain from sticking their snouts into the potentially extremely lucrative pirate prosecuting trough would break the heart of everyone involved in the entire western legal profession. So why would they make it? Smells like a political decision made by politicians and dressed up to look like a legal decision.

Black bust, white bust

With all this new openness abounding everywhere in the new era, why is it so difficult to establish if the Multimillionaire White African King replaced the bust of Churchill in the Oval Office with the bust of Lincoln or with the bust of Martin Luther King? Pictures show a bust of Martin Luther King, so who said Lincoln, and why? Is this a question of a lack of transparency or a question of a misunderstanding or a question of deception and a bare faced lie? Or does it reflect the fact that the man himself is pretty uncertain about his colour? The motives for throwing out the bust of Churchill are also shrouded in mist. We all thought it was to do with his wife’s inability to understand history properly / her slavery problem but it could equally well be because Churchill once said of a certain religion:

“No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. And were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall.”

Strange sex education or else

Frit learns that, in Britain, school officials have apparently announced they will prosecute the parents of approximately 30 children who did not attend a week's worth of lessons coinciding with “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender History Month”. Is the most disturbing thing about this the fact that the parents concerned acted not out of common sense and in a spirit of revolt against samesexer liberal tyranny, but out of straightforward old-fashioned religious bigotry in one form or another, including, mostly, Methodism?

Exceptional Methodist able to carry on good work, relief all round

Frit notes that Lord Fatmed of Rotherham, Methodist peer, has already been released from jail by appeal court judges after serving just 16 days for a texting whilst driving murder. The judges deemed Lord Fatmed’s case “exceptional”! But there is “not one law for the rich and powerful and one law for the rest”, explained appeal court judge Lady Justice Hallett. She made no mention of any laws that might apply to the rest but not to Methodists. She then amazingly went on to warn motorists they face jail for texting while driving, unless they are just texting “Allahu Akbar” which is considered too short a message to cause an accident or do any sort of harm in the world at all.

Apparently, the few days he spent in jail will now be stricken from the record. There will no longer be any evidence of it, so he can carry on with his “international humanitarian work” which his lawyers argued would be in serious jeopardy if a prison record remained on file. So that’s okay then.

The picture shows the texting murderer in question, right, leaving the prison by the back door, disguised as a harpy, in the company of his solicitor. He obviously lost some weight over the past sixteen days but is planning to put it back on again as soon as he can get his mincers into some flavoursome halal lard.

Galloway honoured with Palestinian passport

Frit notes that Member of Parliament George Galloway has been presented with a VIP Palestinian passport at a secret meeting held with the boss of HAMAS (Hate and Murder and Supremacy). Does this mean the authorities are now entitled to take away his British passport, arrest him as an illegal alien terrorist sympathiser spy and saw off his head under Sharia law?

Loser begs for attention, media complies

Why is it that when a moron seeks attention by butchering half a school, as in Germany yesterday, the media give him all the attention they possible can? They splash pictures of him across all the front pages, alter TV schedules, bring in every shrink they can find for the purpose of earning a bob or two, dig up footage of all past events of the same kind and generally make the whole thing as attractive as they can for the next moron thinking of doing the same. Frit opts for publishing a picture of one of the victims. That’s still publicising the event but doesn’t really matter because nobody reads this blog anyway. Just Mrs Frit.

Crazed animal rights butchers murder huntsman in cold blood

We see that heroic hunt saboteurs have killed a huntsman in Britain whilst going about their important, selfless work. This consisted of pursuing huntsmen in a gyrocopter and flying low over them to make sure they were not up to anything untoward with anything furry (nothing whatever totalitarian and aggressive about this). They then appear to have decapitated one with the rotor blades when he protested.

Best thing one can do with hunt saboteurs and other animal botherers is hunt them down with dogs. In this way they might then get an idea, first hand, of just how much a dog loves to chase a thing down and bite off its head. But too late for them then to just stop spoiling the poor animal’s fun and robbing it of its animal rights.

The new era of openness

We are in the “new era of openness” brought to us, as promised, by the Multimillionaire White African King, a being so transparent that he shares his records with just anybody. Especially his birth certificate. He would never pay a million dollars to lawyers to prevent anyone from seeing it (a photograph of a birth certificate, like the one posted on the Internet, is not a birth certificate). Nor would he ever have anything to do with having all references to the birth certificate and dubious nationality issue deleted from Wikipedia.

So are we enjoying this openness? Or are we confused? Can anyone tell Frit if America is doing a deal with the Russians concerning those missile deployments? Seems unclear. Some sources say one thing, some another. Can anyone say what the American government is saying to the Iranians? Seems unclear. Hard to judge. Too much conflicting information resulting from what almost seems to be a total lack of openness. But that simply can’t be.

Slave to fashion

It is said that the Multimillionaire White African King treated British Prime Minister Boredom Brown like some unimportant unelected one-eyed representative of an insignificant banana republic during his visit to America last week. Whilst it might be true that Boredom Brown is indeed an unimportant unelected one-eyed representative of a country the labour party has made into an insignificant banana republic in recent years, appearances need to be kept up. The trouble is, it is rumoured, the flashy Multimillionaire Black African Queen associates Britain with the slave trade! So we have proof that her mind is concerned with more than just clothes, it also has room for some appallingly blinkered views of history. Can international politics really have been brought down to such a juvenile level?

Frit for Chancellor

Boredom Brown has appealed to the US Congress to help him save the world! This is the man who claimed to have abolished “boom and bust”. He also once proclaimed that “a weak currency is a reflection of a weak economy and a weak government”. This was before the pound lost almost half its value.

One day, back when Boredom Brown was running (ruining) the British economy rather than the country as a whole, Frit noticed that a house sold for 200,000 pounds five years earlier, was now selling for 500,000 pounds. Frit worked out that, in another 5 years, the same house would be “worth” 1,250,000 pounds. In twenty years time the figure would be 19,531,250 pounds. Absurd. Given that, in terms of structure and materials, houses in this price range in Britain would be better described as hovels not worth tuppence, it seemed fairly obvious that something was very, very wrong with the economy of Britain and something very, very bad was going to happen.

If Frit and Mrs Frit could manage these simple sums, why couldn’t Chancellor Brown?

Loony lupus lovers

Are we all fed up to the back teeth of the man on the TV telling us that wolves are “harmless” and we should be just tickled pink that they are now returning to live in the wild in the woods of Europe? We are told that the “mythical” wolf should be forgotten. We should now welcome the noble new age wolf based on “scientific knowledge” and “rational understanding”. Wolves are good to have around because “they are part of our natural heritage”.

Is this the same “natural heritage” that includes the 3,069 people devoured by wolves in France between 1580-1830? Does it include the 266 adults and 111 children devoured in the European sector of the Russian Empire between 1849 and 1851? The 721 devoured in Bihar State, India, in 1875? The 60 children in Bihar between 1993 and 1995? The 74 people, mostly pubescent children, in Uttar Pradesh in 1996-1997? Does it include the woman devoured near Tbilisi, Georgia, last month? Frit reads that some specialised man-eaters have been known to kill children by knocking them over from behind and biting the back of their heads and necks.

Message to the man on the TV: please go to Uttar Pradesh and play in the woods. Why do you think early Europeans built huts on stilts in lakes? Were they fond of damp? Wolves have been a torment to the human race since time began. They eat us and they eat the things we eat. This made them a major selection pressure on humans throughout evolution. They have played a big role in making us what we are. For thousands of years they had the upper hand but then we developed weapons and systematically exterminated them in Europe. It was not done for fun, or by mistake. Good riddance! And all this goes twice for their friends the bears.

Brown meets white

Would-be multimillionaire Boredom Brown is meeting the Multimillionaire White African King today. Brown is greasing the wheels by giving the African King’s friend Ted Kennedy a knighthood. Ted Kennedy once went to a party with three other married men and five young women. He got very drunk and drove his car off a bridge and into eight feet of water on the way home. He managed to get out of the car leaving his woman passenger behind. Instead of calling the police, he returned to the party and brought two other men to the scene of the accident. When they were unable to rescue the girl, he told the others he would call the police. He did not. Instead, he returned to his motel, began making telephone calls to associates and went to sleep. Next day, he told a pack of lies to the police.

A grand jury investigated, but the results were already decided. Senator Kennedy didn’t want the girl’s body exhumed for an autopsy. Fortunately for him, neither did the judge responsible for making the decision. Described as a “party-line Democrat of limited judicial gifts”, the judge maintained a bust of President Kennedy on display in his chambers.

None of this, of course, is of any interest. The man has done a lot of good work ever since, such as facilitating the work of the IRA in Northern Ireland for years on end. Arise Sir Ted!

Sponger in the money

Frit thanks the Telegraph for putting some figures on ex Guantanamo inmate Binyam Mohamed. He has been given temporary admission to Britain which allows him to claim his accommodation costs and £35 a week in vouchers. He will undoubtedly be claiming untold sums in legal aid, his lawyers already having said they may sue the British government for compensation over claims that MI5 colluded in his alleged and very lucrative torture. He first claimed asylum at the age of 16. His application was initially turned down in 1994 but accepted in 2000 (I make that a six year legal process) and he was given temporary leave to remain until 2004, by which time he was in Guantanamo Bay. If his refugee status is restored he could claim £60.50 Income Support or, more likely, receive Disability Living Allowance of up to £113.75 a week if he is deemed unfit to work (instead of unfit to live). He would also receive Local Housing Allowance of up to £240 a week if he returned to North Kensington where he was living before he left for Afghanistan, plus council tax relief of around £1055.27 a year. And he is only young. The sums he is set to make and the sums others are set to make from him over the next forty or fifty years will be truly huge.

Figures are always good. Those who rule us hate figures. They prefer to deal in lofty ethical concepts such as “human rights” whilst the figures simply accumulate in the bank accounts unseen and unremarked.

Stimulus package

Hey mister president
You gone crazy
Robbed the hardworking
And gave it to the lazy

Twins are born

Worcester, a shit hole in the UK, has quite rightly voted to twin with Gaza, a comparable shit hole in the Middle East. Hamas folks have already started digging a smuggling tunnel to link the two and will be firing rockets at Israel from the cathedral gardens once it is complete. They are also working on plans to make explosives out of Worcester Sauce.

Picture shows a recent “impressive” anti-sanity demonstration in Worcester.

Sauce not good enough for Methodist gander

Frit notes that, in Britain this week, a navy man has been jailed for three years for killing a grandmother whilst “driving like a prat”. He has also been disqualified from driving for five years. He will probably also loose his job in the navy. A Portuguese lorry driver was also sent to jail for three years, recently, for a similar offence. On the other hand, Methodist peer Lord Fatmed, who texted whilst driving like a prat from Swat and killed a man has been jailed for 12 weeks and disqualified from driving for one year. Bet he’s glad there’s no Shari’a law in Britain, yet.

Ova Office

Is it true that, because he identifies with the colonized in history and not with the colonizers, the Multimillionaire White African King has removed a bust of Winston Churchill from the Oval Office? And is it true that he has brought into the office a mighty magic Egg of Power, a carving made by African artisans that he obtained whist in Kenya helping his cousin who wants to overthrow the US-backed secular Kenyan government and install Shari’a law there? And is it true that the mighty magic Egg of Power in question is made from the wood of the Monkey Pod tree? Lord help us . . .

Shameful choice of words

The BBC now describes people who throw bombs at schoolchildren sightseers in the street in Cairo, killing and maiming willy-nilly, as “Islamist militants angry at Egypt's stance over the recent Gaza conflict”. Disgusting is too fine a word to put on this statement. Killing and maiming innocent children obviously means nothing to those who scribble for the BBC. They sadly lack the imagination to feel for others despite the fact that they believe feeling for others is their paramount motivation. Being sublimely aloof and impartial is really all that counts. In all their truly sickening addled piousness they will never know that impartiality in reporting is never to be confused with affording wrong the same rights as right.

Judge gives wrong answer to question

Frit learns that Lord Fatmed, Labour's first Methodist peer, texting killer who ought to be in prison and the man at the heart of the opposition to Dutch politician Geert Wilders visiting Britain, once invited an Al Qaeda terror suspect to visit Parliament. The Palestinian in question was detained in Britain in December 2001 on suspicion of fundraising for groups linked to Al Qaeda. He is said to have admitted travelling in Afghastlystan with large sums of money hidden in a plaster cast on his leg. He has since been subjected to a control order which places restrictions on his freedom. Recently, at a court hearing, he asked the judge “Do you want me to kill myself? I have a razor”. The judge, of course, neglected to say an emphatic “YES”. Instead, “his psychiatrist” and his solicitor led him from court. The hearing was adjourned, whilst the judge, the psychiatrist and the solicitor all take a bit more money from the public purse.

Nasty parasite given cash

Radical Methodist "preacher" Abu Bonanza has been awarded 2,500 pounds in compensation by the European Court of Human Rights. Judges ruled that his detention without trial in the UK under anti-terrorism powers breached his human rights. Of course, although it is an awful affront to common sense, this sum is paltry in comparison to the sums the British taxpayers have shelled out for the upkeep of this nasty parasite over the past few years and in comparison to what these judges and other judges have been earning from him all this time (see earlier post). And as he is appealing to the European Court of Human Rights to quash the recent British decision to expel him from the UK, the same judges are set to keep on earning from him for some time to come.

The snake in the picture is apparently on sale on the Internet for 2,500 pounds. The nasty parasite in question should be made to spend his money on it and then be eaten by it. Then it could eat the judges.

Reform

“Elected” dictator Chavez must be wondering just what he has to do to attract condemnation from those who rule us. Just imagine the fuss if George Bush had attempted to change the constitution so he could run for another term. But, for Chavez, it’s quite acceptable. The BBC even describes it as “Venezuelan leader wins key reform”.

Gabbering bore lies about identity

Frit sees that former British cabinet minister and member of parliament Anthony Neil Wedgwood Benn, 2nd Viscount Stansgate, is in the news for yet more everlasting self-sacrificial holier-than-thou escapades aimed at doing right by the downtrodden in return for money, power and prestige. There is no need for Frit to give this smug egotist and self-publicist the benefit of setting out actual details. Born with a very silver spoon in his mouth, Anthony Neil Wedgwood Benn, 2nd Viscount Stansgate, is a long-serving and archetypal enslaver of the minds of the gullible and the young. His efforts in this regard down the years have been genuinely worthy. They include serial abuse of freedom of speech on just about every platform possible, scribbling untold numbers of pious lies and deceptions across all print media, attempting to remove public references to his private education and privileged background from Who's Who, and changing his name from Anthony Neil Wedgwood Benn, 2nd Viscount Stansgate, to “Tony Benn”, a pally working class fellow who lives down the road.

Of course, Anthony Neil Wedgwood Benn, 2nd Viscount Stansgate, who has probably said and scribbled more about rights than anyone else in history, has every right to change his name to a false name if he so wishes, just as we all have every right to insist on calling him by his real name if we so wish. Rights are rights, after all.

The picture shows Emily, the fraudster granddaughter of the fraudster in question, the fifth generation of the socialist Wedgwood Benn dynasty to enter politics. Not one of them used their money, power and prestige to give another a hand up!

Jazis and Kitlers

Frit recently learned of two strange phenomena that are loosely related and both of which are weird. One is the phenomenon known as the “Jewish neo Nazi”! The other is the existence of a website called Cats That Look Like Hitler.com! Please explain the world!

Blatant trickery

Folks in America ordered Multimillionaire White African King coins. When they arrived they turned out to be just ordinary coins with a picture of the Multimillionaire White African King glued on. So these folks were “tricked” into buying fake coins in pretty much the same way that, according to the Multimillionaire White African King, all those mortgage defaulters were “tricked” into buying homes they couldn’t afford.

Burning Australia

This photo-fit has been published in the search for the Australian arsonists. Frit reads that US intelligence channels earlier this year identified a website calling on Methodists in Australia, the US, Europe and Russia to "start forest fires". The site claims that "scholars have justified chopping down and burning the infidels' forests when they do the same to our lands". This fellow looks sort of . . . a bit dark? Most probably Aborigine then.

Horrifying stupidity

We live in a world where, 200 years after the birth of Darwin, horrifying numbers of people in the western world (almost half) still believe that the universe and everything it contains was created by some sort of grand magician, and some think as little as six thousand years ago. Yet more horrifying numbers believe that there is indeed such a thing as a process of evolution but this is a process controlled by some sort of grand magician in any case, so that’s alright then. Some believe that they did indeed evolve from a monkey and the monkey is now talking to them inside their heads. And then there are those who are marking the 200 year anniversary with a "survival of the fittest" cake-eating contest. Mankind is an idiot. Further evolutionary progress is sadly unlikely with such poor quality stock.

“If it were up to me I would notify the Palestinian Authority that tomorrow at 10 we would bomb all their places of business in Ramallah.”

It seems that, rocket by rocket, Hamas and Iran etc. have at last succeeded in provoking the election of a hard-line government in Israel. It is probable that they are now about to reap everything they have unwisely sown. Perhaps they should all quickly take refuge in Britain, a safe haven for Methodists, which, today, has incredibly banned anti-Methodist supremacy Dutch politician and member of parliament Wilders from entering the country, in fear of what the Methodist terrorists already at home there might do.

Murder

Eluana Englaro, the 38-year-old Italian woman who spent 17 years in a permanent vegetative state, being fed through tubes, has been allowed to die. Or has been “murdered”, depending on your point of view. In Frit’s view, permitting a person in this miserable state to die is a sensible and reasonable thing. So Frit very much disagrees with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi who involved himself at the last minute, saying:

"In my view we must make every possible effort to avoid the death of a person whose life is in danger but who is not brain-dead, a person who is breathing autonomously, a living person whose brain cells are alive and send electrical signals, a person who hypothetically could conceive a child."

But, however much one might disagree with this sentiment, as Frit does, he wonders at just how warped and partisan and consumed with hatred Britain’s “Independent” newspaper reveals itself to be when it comments that:

“The latter remark provoked astonishment and disgust; Mr Berlusconi seemed to be reducing womanhood to the status of a reproductive machine.”

Dread to think what would have been said had he called for her “murder”!

Survival of the fittest politically correct nonsense

Those who educate us are now attempting to make the Theory of Evolution more palatable (to themselves) by saying that Darwin only came up with it because he so hated slavery and merely wanted to prove that all men are of common descent and thus equal. So it was done for a good cause. Something like buying Christmas cards from your favourite charity. Pathetic or what?

Just for oil

Frit and Mrs Frit were unable to avoid providing dinner to two members of the teaching profession last night. They spent the first half of the meal lamenting the price of fuel and the current cost of driving the two hundred miles from their home to their holiday home in their two litre car at weekends. The second half of the meal they spent berating George Bush for invading Iraq “just for the oil”. Even worse, one of them appeared to imply that the fine port they were served had been adulterated with “cherry juice”!

Iraq

Our rulers would really hate it if peace ever broke out in Iraq. This is the reason they are not making much mention of the more successful elections recently held there.

Ragnar Hairybreeks turns in his grave

Those who educate and inform us are gleeful that Iceland has now appointed the world’s first lesbian prime minister, Ms Sigurdardottir. Apparently, this is a “milestone” in social development and a very important breakthrough for mankind in some way or another. Beats Frit and Mrs Frit, who always thought Boredom Brown was the world’s first lesbian prime minister in any case.

More new Methodists

Frit learns that the aged unemployed and mentally deranged Methodist who gave birth to eight babies in America last week already has six at home, all of them born through in vitro fertilisation with “a neighbour’s” sperm. Frit finds it somewhat gratifying that there is at least some condemnation of the whole revolting thing, though former president of the Methodist Society of North America, Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi has given the thumbs up to in vitro fertilization for Methodist couples to the great relief of all who worried such a procedure could run foul of Sharia law.

Meanwhile, the Methodist population of Britain has grown by more than 500,000 to 2.4 million in just four years, according to official research collated for The Times. The population multiplied 10 times faster than the rest of society, the research by the Office for National Statistics reveals. In the same period the number of Christians in the country fell by more than 2 million. And, according to the Brookings Institute, the Methodist birth-rate in Europe as a whole is three times higher than the non Methodist birth-rate. If the trend continues the Methodist population in Europe will double in 2015 as the non Methodist population shrinks by 3.5 percent.

Lord of the House

Frit learns that a member of the British House of Lords intended to invite her colleagues to a private meeting in a conference room in the House of Lords to meet the Dutch politician Geert Wilders, an elected member of the Dutch parliament, to watch his controversial movie Fitna and discuss the movie and Mr. Wilders’ opinions with him.
Barely had the invitation been sent to all the members of the House when a certain Lord Ahmed raised hell. He threatened to mobilize 10,000 Methodists to prevent Mr. Wilders from entering the House and threatened to take the colleague who was organizing the event to court. The result is that the event, which should have taken place next Thursday, was cancelled. A victory for the Methodist community, but a defeat for British democracy where topics to which Methodists object cannot even be debated. Apparently, Lord Ahmed recently admitted in court to killing another man by dangerous driving, and ought to be in prison, but isn’t. So there’s a lot that Methodists can get away with in Britain these days. Strange thing is that none of this appears to interest the British media. Frit can only find mention of it in Belgium and Pakistan.

Calamity in Davos

We live in a world where a narcissist can give himself the false name “Bonio” and, amazingly, everyone calls him that. Bonio is a “social activist” and the only person ever to have been nominated for an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, a Grammy and a Nobel Peace Prize. So his furry credentials are sexy beyond belief. This is a man who has never made a single cent from his own altruism and who rises from his bed each morning only for the good of others. “Stay in bed Bonio”, they say, “stay in bed.” “No, no”, says Bonio, “I must rise for others.” So we are all very sad to learn that Bonio is said not to be putting in his usual appearance at Davos for this year’s World Economic Forum. And in a year when world economics needed him more than ever! The repercussions will be monumental and tragic.

Solana – such a straightforward guy

At the same time that the European ruling class is in an Obama trance and is undergoing a closing Guantanamo catharsis, it seems not to know if it is inclined to give any practical help. This can only be because it knows as well as anybody else that a lot of the European tax payers it steals from are a lot less than enthusiastic about the idea of having to pay for the lifelong upkeep of bunches of deeply disturbed pathological Methodists and really couldn’t care less what happens to them if they are returned to their own countries of origin. European mouthpiece Javier Solana, a truly masterful milker of the gullible and the young, says the EU wants to help on humanitarian grounds, but cannot act until the US demonstrates that the hard done-by Methodist prisoners concerned “do not pose a credible security risk”! If Frit understands this right, the fidgeting that those who rule us have undergone up to now has been for lack of proof that Guantanamo inmates are bad people, but now it is for lack of proof that they aren’t.

Searching Google images for “Solana” disappointingly throws up countless pictures of his selfless and self-sacrificing fast talking face, so Frit chose this nice Goya painting of somebody called the “Marquise de la Solana” instead. Much nicer to look at.

Dynamic Scotsman told us so

Unelected British Prime Minister and would-be multimillionaire Boredom Brown claims to have tried to save the world from economic disaster as much as ten years ago! If only we had listened. If only we had listened. Such an opportunity lost.

Really polite rich people caught on camera

Frit and Mrs Frit greatly enjoy the following, and play it often:
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=AAVDlsstAjg&feature=related

Only occasionally does one get to see just how nice such nice people are.

(Carter has now stated on TV that he had already canoodled with the Clintons for fifteen minutes outside. Pity. But is it true? Frit likes to think not.)

Obituary

It is with great sadness that Frit notes the passing away of European civilisation. In their well paid wisdom, three judges in the Netherlands have decided the best way to preserve their future earnings is to put on trial a man who has been saying adverse but true things about the behaviour and intentions of some proponents of a certain religion. As Frit is not a religious person and knows little of religious matters and himself wishes to avoid prison if possible, he has no idea which religion this is and can’t anywhere near imagine. Maybe it’s Methodism. The three well paid judges, making up the law as they go along, insist that “In a democratic system, hate speech is considered so serious that it is in the general interest to... draw a clear line". So that’s it then. In Europe, freedom of expression now officially means freedom to express politically correct expression only. In shock, people are saying that this is happening in “one of the most liberal societies in the world”. Sorry, there is no contradiction here, TYRANNY IS EXACTLY WHAT LIBERALISM IS ABOUT!!!!

(Disclaimer:
Frit would like to point out to any big-earning judges amongst his readership that all opinions expressed on this site are expressed for the sake of irony and for entertainment purposes only. They are not to be mistaken for the genuinely held beliefs of the author in any way. In fact, all opinions, including any that might concern Methodists, can be taken as being utterly insincere and as actually intended to imply the exact opposite of what they imply. And Frit retracts every word of it all in any case. No prison food needed.)

More history

Reading of “the historic vastness of the moment, the unique and unprecedented nature of the event” (Times Online’s view of the Inauguration), Frit would like to return to an earlier post concerning the use of the word ‘historic’. Back then, just after the Multimillionaire White African King won the election, googling the words “Obama historic” yielded an amazing 239,000 hits. Now, following Inauguration Day, googling the words “Obama historic” already yields 10,900,000 hits and “Obama history” yields a shattering 74,900,000 hits! This is history being made in advance rather than history in the making. We are confusing history with hysteria and, as we know, those who are confused about history are condemned to repeat it.

Crucifixion

A shocking wave of anti-Jewish bigotry and violence has erupted throughout the world as a direct result of the media and the rest of our rulers having, over recent weeks, consistently and deceitfully given the impression that Hamas chaps (who butchered their way into power and who hold on to it by terror, introducing the death penalty for anyone who negotiates with the enemy, banning singing and legalising crucifixion etc.), are “fighters” whilst Israelis are deliberate child-killers. Nothing could be further from the truth. So why do they say it? FOR MONEY AND POWER, SILLY!

Historic Inordination

Today is Great Inordination Day. The Multimillionaire White African King is at last officially the world’s one true supreme ruler. He shall rule us with a gentle hand. He shall provide us the awaited free petrol at the same time that he cooleth the planet (temperatures in America have already plummeted to record lows at the mere thought of his coming). He shall never tell us lies about his origins. He shall never make us think we live in Hollywood. He shall tenderly mould us all in his own image to make us worthy of his dominion. We are saved.

The guts to change

Today, Frit is officially applying to the global socialist communist environmentalist authorities for permission to modify their discourteous saying “I should like to see the last king strangled with the guts of the last priest”. The idea is to change the words “king” and “priest” to “dog owner” and “cyclist”.

Old woman, old woman, old woman say I

Old woman, old woman, old woman say I,
O whither, O whither, O whither so high?
To sweep the cobwebs off the sky,
And have a baby by-and-by.

Recently, when Frit and Mrs Frit were out and about, their paths chanced to cross that of a little girl and young mother, hand in hand. This pretty sight was so striking because young mothers are now so rarely seen. In our western world, we mostly only get to see old mothers. Most of them can’t cope, due to their age, and most will be basket cases before their child (all too often just one lonely, wretched little being) grows up. Yes, the “women’s movement” has managed to convince society, in the face of all the biological facts, that waiting to have your baby until you can reasonably be mistaken for its grandmother is a super and sensible plan. If they have their way we shall soon have laws that prohibit pregnancy to any woman with a complete set of teeth. This is a very sad thing for children and a serious disaster for society. But never say so. Saying so is practically a lynching offence. Hate mail is a certainty. Banishment to the Land of Old Fashioned is a must. The women’s movement can sometimes be a bit of an intolerant and catty little bitch to deal with.

Urinating mentalvironists

Global warmers are people who pee on the beach and think themselves responsible for the rising tide.

Gaza stripped

Most of those who rule us flunked science in school because they lack any understanding of scientific facts. They always prefer to blame ideology rather than biology. But anyone interested in genuinely attempting to prevent ever more violent death, fear and suffering in Gaza would be wiser to make as much hullaballoo over the numbers of Palestinians born on any given day as they do over the numbers who die.

Lawsuit rankings

The head of an atheist group has filed a lawsuit against the use of prayer at the multimillionaire white African King’s presidential inauguration because this would amount to subjecting atheists and agnostics to someone else's religious beliefs. Frit notes that the mainstream media deems it important to inform us of this truly earth shattering turn of events but still deems the several lawsuits questioning the multimillionaire white African King’s citizenship and presidential eligibility of no interest to anyone at all.

Banning the bulb

The Nazis banned books, now the EU environmental storm troopers are banning the light bulbs books are read by. But it’s not at all the same totalitarian thing. Not at all.

Rising discontent

There is already some disquiet amongst those who feed us the news. Fighting has been going on in Gaza for some days and the multimillionaire white African King has spoken not a word, let alone performed any miracles. Deep down, they are already beginning to doubt his ability to keep the promises they made on his behalf.

2009

Happy New Year to all who suffer under the yoke of media indoctrination and global totalitarian environmentalism.

The prince and the pooch

It seems rational that a country like Britain, the government of which is in a stew over Israelis lashing out at Palestinians for behaving like dogs, should get itself into a stew over one of its own princes lashing out at dogs behaving like Palestinians.

Season’s Greetings

Frit will be withdrawing from public life for Christmas now. May he thank all his readers for providing themselves opportunity to learn something from this site throughout the year. Gratitude is best expressed in cash donations to the “Mrs. Frit Christmas Diamond Earrings Appeal”. And may Frit wish Good Tidings and a very Merry Christmas to all who would wish him to wish them a Happy Holiday instead!

Philosophy

“Philosophy is just religion without a good story involved.”
Mrs. Frit, 2008.

Shoe thrower hits own personal targets

Are we all as far less than amazed as Frit that the individual in Iraq who threw his shoes at George Bush for the purpose of obtaining publicity, fine words, career impetus and cash, and who missed, is now being showered with publicity, fine words, career impetus and cash? Pity the security men broke his arm, but, of course, that will only add to the kudos and profits.

Brown resurgence

In the past, Frit has on several occasions implied that recently self-admitted saviour of the world and would-be multimillionaire unelected British Prime Minister Boredom Brown is in every way and in every deed and in every strange tremor of the jaw at the end of the sentence and sometimes in the middle of the sentence (several times) less than impressive in his effectiveness and is a mere shadow of his predecessor multimillionaire Blair when it comes to abusing the gullible and the young with true psaz. Frit begs forgiveness for this because Brown’s record of late is a genuine surprise. In recent weeks he now appears to have gone a very long way towards turning around his extremely negative and rather brown public image with some really neat vote-buying handouts of truly mind-numbingly sate-devastating and population-pauperising proportions. Respect! He might now one day be actually voted into office after all. The office might not have any heating, furniture or lights by then, the first paper signed might be the one that authorises the return of ration books, but what the hell. What counts is that people love you.

Furriness misbehaving

Frit notes the shock and horror that resulted in Britain recently when policemen used a stun gun on a ram that had strayed onto a dual carriageway. They tell that a thirteen year old girl happened to witness the event with her bare eyes and was “very upset”. The Royal Society for the Protection of Animals said “officers should have used more humane ways to corner and restrain the sheep”, but neglected to offer to pay for the extra police time this approach would have occasioned. Frit’s contribution to this debate is to feature this photograph of the pelican that shocked the brain-softened furry British nation some time ago by being a pelican and gobbling up a pigeon in full view of minors.

Righteous rioting

Those who rule us are intent on telling us that the riots (destroying other people’s property and lives) in Greece have nothing to do with hot-headed young leftists and straightforward opportunistic apolitical vandals and delinquents, both groups spurred on by the Greek wing of those who rule us who should know better but want a right wing government out of office any way they can. Such democrats! No, the riots are in some way understandable and even maybe honourable, because they only began when a young person was shot by a policeman whilst, err . . . rioting.

Polluted Irish pork

The bogtrotter’s pig is rotten inside. Soppy waterborne folklore has seeped into its innards from the damp beneath. Spit it out! And demand compensation! The bogtrotter has traditionally gotten away with far too much leprechaun-based socio-cultural baloney. All he has to do is provide his pig with a sty on stilts.

Unsung heroine

Frit thanks NewsBusters for noting that the name of Vanessa Niekamp, an administrator for the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services' Office of Child Support and a 15-year state employee, who blew the lid off the underhanded computer snooping into the private life of Joe the Plummer, is virtually unknown, while many other past government whistleblowers have been treated as media heroes and elevated into very righteous realms. Ms Niekamp was threatened with dismissal if she failed to comply with “instructions” etc..

In fact, googling google news for “Vanessa Niekamp” today yields a mere 18 hits, none of them relating to mainstream media sites. This has to be regarded as simply astonishing. A virtual conspiracy. The name of the great multimillionaire white African King must be kept pure and free from any association with anything not of the new and pristine airy dimension that mankind has now at last attained. Frit would have liked to include a photograph of Ms Niekamp, but, of course, there are none around.

Mistaking the sword for the hand that wields it

Cluster bombs are disappearing from the world today. The Convention on Cluster Munitions is being signed by more than one hundred countries, “effectively outlawing” them. So we are all safe. The next time the people in those more than one hundred countries are attacked by anyone they shall be very glad their leaders will not be dropping effective state-of-the-art cluster bombs on their attackers. Maybe just bombs with fur on that squeak menacingly instead of going bang. The only important thing is that when their attackers overrun them they’ll never manage to dislodge their corpses from the higher moral ground. That’s a sort of victory after all!

Doping in terrorism, should it be allowed?

Frit reads that the terrorists who committed the recent atrocity in Bombay took steroids for months before carrying it out and used cocaine, LSD and other drugs whilst carrying it out. In the opinion of Frit, this is grossly unfair to other terrorists who honestly attempt to slaughter people without any chemical backup to help them be brave. It is a form of cheating and should be banned. Who do they think they are, Lance Armstrong?

Coming in second again

Pity those who rule over us on this day. They would so dearly like to trumpet the multimillionaire white African King’s appointment of hectomillionaire Hillary Clinton, and have it be the first appointment of a female Secretary of State in the whole of world history. They can’t of course, because the office is already held by a woman, a REAL woman, and a black one to boot. Yes, pity those who rule over us on this day.

Ogling a pair of legs costs more than losing a pair

Frit notes that the British legal system, in the shape of the Leeds Employment Tribunal, has awarded £186,896 to a lesbian soldier averse to having her legs ogled by her male boss. This sum exceeds the £161,000 given to 21-year-old Marine Ben McBean who lost a leg and an arm in Afghanistan and the £152,150 received by Lance Bombardier Ben Parkinson, 24, after losing both legs and suffering 14 life-threatening injuries, including brain damage. It also dwarfs the £57,000 given to 19-year-old Private Jamie Cooper who suffered severe stomach injuries in a mortar attack in southern Iraq. The Ministry of Defence faces a further bill of £100,000 for its defence costs and the lesbian in question has three more claims pending.

Frit is of the opinion that the time has come for the British legal system to be subjected to a process of vicious purging and whip-assisted taxpayer retaliation.

Lone terrorist attacks Bombay

According to the BBC’s online report on the Bombay massacre this morning, it is a massacre being carried out by 2 attackers, 4 gunmen, 2 armed men, 2 assailants, 1 group and just 1 terrorist preceded by the word “suspected”.

Droning on about a wage cut

The British legal profession is in tears. It seems that George Bush and his gang of trigger-happy yanks have simply “assassinated” a known British mussulman terrorist in Pakistan. Apparently, the British terrorist in question (whom the BBC, mouthpiece of the British ruling class, prefers to call a “UK militant”) was once arrested in Pakistan. However, the guards driving the vehicle taking him to jail stopped to let him go pray in a mosque whilst they had a quiet fag, whereupon he promptly became unarrested by making for the back entrance. Thinking they could maybe improve on this suspiciously lackadaisical approach, the said George Bush and his gang of trigger-happy yanks sent one of those drone things over the border from Afghastlystan to cook this terrorist’s goose by remote control. Frit is of the opinion that having your goose cooked by remote control, by an unfeeling machine to which you having your goose cooked or not is entirely immaterial, is a very insulting and befitting way of having your goose cooked if you happen to be a terrorist. But the British legal people look at it in a different way. They were looking forward to this individual being rearrested and brought back to Blighty for some very large sums of money to be earned over a period of many many years. It is a very serious blow to their finances. They are just livid. “Senior Members of Parliament” are asking questions. Quite rightly! How could those uppity yanks simply go and do such a thing to such a promising meal ticket of a British citizen? They should stick to frying their oversized burgers instead of frying our choice British mussulman terrorists. And we would have won the Second World War without them anyway!

Class at school

The uncertainty and tension, the agony of not knowing, is at last over. The decision has been made, it’s official – the daughters of the multimillionaire white African King will be going to a private school (a place where parents pay to obtain superior education and social advantage for their children) rather than to a state school (where all you learn is how to wear clothes several sizes too big, badmouth your betters and use a needle properly). Phew, what a surprise. We all thought he would stay true to his oft-stated furry egalitarian principles, go for the classless option, the brave new world order option, not just push them off to the very same pre-the-messiah-cometh school to which the pre-the-messiah-cometh hectomillionaire Clintons sent their own lonely and very drippy-looking progeny (she must despise her mother sooo much, and so much dream of one day outdoing her – no competitiveness in the family at all).

Piracy

Frit recommends visiting http://red-secupp.blogspot.com/ to read S.E. Cupp’s post about the Barbary Wars.
Meanwhile, the latest response of those who rule us, upon having the clocks turned back 200 years, has been to
- fire some smoke grenades at a safe distance from a pirate ship so as not to hurt any pirates
- sink an empty pirate vessel and let the pirates get away so as not to hurt any pirates and
- get NATO and the UN to sit down round the table together to come up with cunning new ways of absolutely not hurting any pirates in any way at all.

Shiver our furry timbers!

Insulting fugitive

Aged and repellent pontificating hateball Ayman al-Zawahiri (in English Hey Man All Sour and Weary), Al Qaeda No. 2, has insulted the multimillionaire white African King in public, making racist remarks that all but nearly included the deeply unforgivable word “golliwog”. He appears to think the multimillionaire white African King is not his friend. Frit and Mrs. Frit sincerely hope he is right about this, but will wait and see.

A question of black and white

Of course, the biggest lie about the multimillionaire African King is the lie about his colour. He is not black. He is half white and half black. So he is not at all the “African-American” they so universally proclaim him. He is the “half-African-American” or “half-European-American”. A man who is half white and half black might just as easily be called white as black, in a fair world. Frit will be describing him as the “multimillionaire white African King” when referring to that individual on this site from now on.

OPEC

Frit reads that, in 2003, Americans paid $268 billion for new homes and $197 billion for oil. In 2008, Americans paid $134 billion for new homes and $900 billion for oil. Given these simple figures, does anyone really have to wonder why we have a financial crisis? The western world is simply being bent over a barrel of oil by OPEC, a CARTEL. Cartels are not allowed in western societies because they are a form of robbery. You get put in jail if you operate one. But the oil producers operate a cartel.

People talk endlessly about how we should protect ourselves against this criminal cartel by making our own fuel out of Pringles and so forth. It’s all a matter of finding a simple alternative, of making a few minor adjustments. The world will then be put right. This is how we avoid having to face realities. In the opinion of Frit, the real world is such that only drastic, real remedies can break this real cartel before we are all pauperised. One such real world remedy would be to invade Iraq, turn it into a western-leaning democracy and buy our oil from it. Ah, but this has already been tried and is not progressing as well as it should because those who rule us are too wet, blind and self-seeking to allow it to be implemented with conviction.

Historically historic

Frit notes that those who rule us seem to have the name of the multimillionaire African King already firmly welded to the word “historic”, as in "Obama's historic election victory", “Obama’s historic White House visit”, his “historic January 20 swearing-in” etc..
Googling the words “Bush historic”, for instance, yields a total of 3,650 hits. These cover two presidents and three terms of office, and 456 of them, at least, are negatively historic, concerning an “historic abuse of power”. Googling the words “Obama historic” yields an amazing 239,000 hits for a man who ascended to the throne but a mere six days ago! Supposing he were to complete two full terms, this would ultimately work out to a staggering 116,313,333.333333333333333333333333 historic events over 8 years. Truly amazing! Historic!

Fine-sounding gem of the week

From guardian.co.uk: British Prime Minister Boredom Brown “today pledges to work with Barack Obama to create a new world order where 'markets need morals' and people come first”.

Admission of infidelity – Michelle loves my husband instead of hers

Frit just heard the wife of the multimillionaire African King say “I come here as a wife who loves my husband . . .”. Googling this appallingly illiterate statement Frit finds no adverse comment anywhere at all. Had the wife of George Bush said it, or the wife of McCain or the wife of anyone else on the right, it would have been all over the papers this morning as undeniable evidence of why the husband is a dumb clod unfit for any type of office.

Bitter disappointment

One whole day has now passed since the multimillionaire African King took the throne and NOTHING HAS CHANGED!
In fact, at http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/06/us/politics/06expect.html, the New York Times is already, on day 1, preparing the ground for that bitter disappointment, telling us the African King has “begun an effort to tamp down what his aides fear are unusually high expectations among his supporters”. Who would have thought it!

Bush out, bushman in

Multimillionaire (non)Islamic radical communist President B.A. Barackabama has at last been elected to power having successfully whipped the gullible and the young into an ecstatic media driven froth the world over. He is the first true leader of the entire world, in many parts of which he is even more popular than in the USA (Europe, for instance). We know not who he really is, we know not what he really is about, but we don’t really care. All that counts is the ecstasy. The new age has dawned. The Age of the African King. The drums are beating; the bush is abuzz, lizards are being sacrificed, campfires burning bright. Everything is going to be different from now on for everyone is a furry laidback African now. After all, life began in Africa and white men are but long lost Africans who once wandered northwards, removed the bones from their noses and went pale. So let us ignore all negative aspects such as concealed records, dubious or criminal associations and the alleged Mideast origins of some of the vast sums of money collected by his campaign. Let us simply rejoice that the African King is at last cometh, hoping dearly that, with his truly magic medicine man ways, in his term he will bringeth current African standards up to our own rather than our own down to its.

Timely demise

As a presidential candidate, you can’t get much better PR than to have your granny die the day before election day.

Missing description

New York Times, June 18, 2003:
President Bush kicked off his re-election campaign tonight with a fund-raiser that took in an estimated $3.5 million from a hotel ballroom full of people with a personal, financial or ideological stake in keeping him and the Republican Party in power.

New York Times, July 3, 2008:
Last week, the Obama campaign collected about $5 million at an event featuring celebrities in Los Angeles. The evening began with a dinner at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion for more than 200 people who had contributed $28,500 per couple, or raised $50,000.

In the 2008 version they forgot to follow the word “people” with all that about “a personal, financial or ideological stake”. This is simply not fair to those people. They are entitled to equality of description. Shame on that newspaper.

Jörg Haider

Jörg Haider, Governor of the Austrian province of Carinthia (or “Austrian populist far-right leader Jörg Haider” as the mainstream media prefer – they never prefer “American populist far-left leader B.A. Barackabama”) appears to have died because he drank too much and drove too fast (for an earlier post concerning the truth of the subject of drinking and driving please see “In vino veritas”, below).

The mainstream media are positively euphoric over this event. They love reporting it and implying that Haider was a drunk rather than a reckless driver. They also make strangely gleeful references to imputed homosexuality. They refer to him having been “outed” in the German press some time ago. See http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gzoH4V9vcxjPUS41v6zwnx-VYyMwD940R6000 for a typical example. The only “outing” of which Frit can find evidence is in the form of quite baseless, gratuitous and politically motivated assertions made by a Nobel literature prizewinning ugly Austrian feminist some years back.

Those who rule us permit no stigma to attach to the word “homosexual” under any circumstances, but, when it suits them, they can strangely use the same stigma-free word to stigmatise and denigrate a political opponent without a second thought.

History in the making

History is being made in the current American presidential campaign, and Frit is very proud to be here to witness it. Yes, this is the very first time the flow of information in the entire western world has been controlled with the kind of totality previously associated with those the international ruling class most deride, the Nazis. The difference is that, back then, the Nazis employed the Gestapo to control the flow of information by force. This time the control is entirely voluntary and a million times more ominous.

Bin Laidon

Frit posts this photograph of Osama bin Laden’s niece, aspiring American pop star Wafah Dufour, by way of emphasising that not all the bin Ladens are confused and mardy stone age religious bigots with a fondness for small boys. Not at all. Some of them are just plain old fashioned sluts.

CNN breaks all records in journalistic deception and shame

Around two weeks before the election, and with truly terrifying shamelessness, at http://edition.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/15/internet.rumors/, CNN deftly sidesteps the factual reality of the nationality lawsuits by fairly and bravely defending all candidates equally against “Internet rumours”.

Multiculti without multiplication

The British labour party has for years been letting each and every Tom, Dick and immigrant into Britain, backed up by UN Marxist dogma that states that sixty million British people cannot survive when they’re old without millions of immigrants to look after them. Those who asked how many extra millions these extra millions would need to look after them when they’re old, in turn, were ignored. Now, the same labour party is suddenly telling the British people that immigration has to be curbed to “control population growth”!!! This is not a question of well-intended mistaken reasoning, it is a question of a negligent crime with potential horrendous consequences.

The Global Elders

Frit is appalled, but not surprised, to learn that there exists a body with the pompous title of “The Global Elders”. At first, Frit mistakenly thought that this body had something to do with elven folk and dwarves in Lord of the Rings, but no, it is of the real world. It is "a group of public figures noted as elder statesmen, peace activists and human rights advocates. The goal of the group is . . . to work on solutions for seemingly insurmountable problems like climate change, HIV/AIDS and poverty".

Frit notes that this selfless initiative brings together some of the biggest egos ever to have been involved in fleecing the gullible and the young, such as ex-terrorist Nelson Mandela, Holy Kofi Annan, Irish botherer Mary Robinson, Desmond Tutu, Jimmy Carter and, last but not pompously least, Sir Lancelot Branson. At the launch ceremony a chair was left empty on the stage for furry icon, Nobel Laureate and heavyweight media money-spinner Aung San Suu Kyi Who Mostly Stays At Home For Tea.

Frit supposes that all concerned will have singed a paper absolutely forbidding mention of any of this in their biographies and obituaries. He also notes that, despite the earnings and efforts of The Global Elders, those "seemingly insurmountable problems like climate change, HIV/AIDS and poverty" are surprisingly still with us.

Race again

As predicted, race is starting to be brought to the fore by the liberal media in the forthcoming American election campaign. You’re a racist if you don’t vote for the black candidate, is the ploy. Of course, this only applies to white folk. Black folk voting for a black man simply because he is black is not racist. Take the example of the traitor Colin Powell who has now jumped over the fence to declare his allegiance. Nothing to do with race at all.

In the real world may Frit go on the record as saying it’s not that we don’t want a black president; we just don’t want a black president who’s a shiny Marxist fraudster.

Forced Peace Prize

Frit reads that the latest winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, left-leaning teacher and UN payroll enjoyer Martti Ahtisaari, “is best known for having his name attached to an agreement — the famous “Ahtisaari Plan” for the final status of Kosovo — to which the concerned parties, Serbia and the formerly merely provisional government of Kosovo, never in fact agreed. In the meanwhile, that plan is quite simply being imposed on one of the parties: namely Serbia, which has thereby seen a large chunk of its territory forcibly removed from its authority”. Never mind. Perhaps all his other grand peaceful doings have involved less implementation at gunpoint.

The race card

Frit suspects that in coming weeks we shall be having many more articles in the old media like the one in The New York Times at: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/15/us/politics/15race.html?hp).
They dress it up as interesting, wordy and weighty social analysis, but in reality it is a simple attempt at blackmailing the electorate into voting for multimillionaire B.A. Barackabama by making out that anybody who doesn’t want to vote for him is a racist.

Never shake hands with the British

We know that Britain prides itself on being the dirtiest country in Europe and on having the most unhygienic public toilets and hospitals in Christendom. Now, with appropriate disgust and many knowing nods of the head, Frit reads that a study conducted in Britain reveals that more than one in four commuters has bacteria from faeces on their hands. In other words shit on their hands. Men in Newcastle are the worst offenders, but the picture is grim everywhere . . .

Fannie and Freddie

Frit recommends all those wishing to understand the true facts about Fannie and Freddie visit: http://www.nypost.com/seven/10132008/postopinion/opedcolumnists/spreading_the_virus_133375.htm?page=0

Nobel peace prize goes to left-leaning teacher on UN payroll, world taken by surprise

The world is truly taken aback to learn that this year’s Nobel Peace Prize (cash from armaments sales) has been awarded to a left-leaning teacher on the UN payroll. Everyone had supposed it would be awarded to someone who is right-leaning, and not a teacher, and not paid large sums of money by the UN. So we are all aghast. Apparently, the individual concerned has already won the "Delta Prize for Global Understanding" as well as various other prestigious socialist trophies. It seems he has been saving the planet from conflict and disgust behind the scenes for decades. And so efficiently that the planet is now almost free of conflict and disgust. What a star!

Financial crisis brings ruling class to tears

Those who rule over us, all of whom have investments from which they have been doing very well thank you for some time, are now suddenly going around with long faces mumbling about “irresponsibility”, “reckless speculation”, “profit-at-any-cost mentality”, “crooked capitalism” and “greed”.

They appear to have thought they have all the natural processes of life so well tied up that there’s no longer any risk in plain old gambling.

Mainstream manipulation

After months of waiting for the mainstream media to stop protecting us from mention of the lawsuit filed by democrat Philip J. Berg, a Hillary Clinton supporter, claiming that multimillionaire B.A. Barackabama is not an American citizen and therefore can never be President of the United States, the Times Online finally takes the initiative. Trouble is the Times Online article, a Barackabama eulogy, manages not to mention the fact that the lawsuit was filed by a democrat. In fact it deliberately makes it appear as if the lawsuit is just some piece of nonsense filed by a republican: “Mr Obama’s African roots have been used by some opponents to hint that he is not quite American, or is a closet Muslim. Right-wing talk show hosts emphasise his middle name, Hussein. A lawsuit has been filed claiming that he was born in Kenya, and is therefore ineligible for the presidency.”

Is this an act of completely shameful deliberate manipulation of fact or what?

Trickle of untruths

Multimillionaire President B.A. Barackabama is currently going around bedazzling the gullible and the young with the magnificent revelation that “trickle down economic theories” are rubbish. Apparently, the hope that prosperity trickles down to everyone in a rich society is simply in vain. It’s as if the half of the world run according to the opposite economic system until only very recently was a big success. It’s as if the people who lived under that system all grew rich and content and never became poor, depressed, hopeless alcoholics standing around in long queues. And it’s as if they didn’t abandon that system with gusto the moment opportunity arose as soon as they realised that, during the same period of history, we unfortunates in the western world, condemned to live according to “trickle down economic theories”, had, against all the rules, grown mysteriously light-years better off.

Frit is of the mind that Multimillionaire President B.A. Barackabama, like all of his ilk, is in command of sufficient intellect to be aware of inescapably obvious historic facts like this. So he must just be telling untruths. As long as the gullible, the young, the less well-off and the envious will swallow it, anything goes.

Toothy swindler survives crash

Great Sir Lancelot Branson is the world’s 245th richest person. This he has achieved by being so truly adept at fleecing the gullible and the young by somehow convincing them life is about good causes and daring-do and not about money at all. There are those who are dissapointed that Great Sir Lancelot Branson failed to accompany his friend Fossett on that last flight.

Cool dude’s website admits suspicious African citizenship

The “Fight the Smears” website now concedes that: “When Barack Obama Jr. was born on Aug. 4,1961, in Honolulu, Kenya was a British colony, still part of the United Kingdom’s dwindling empire. As a Kenyan native, Barack Obama Sr. was a British subject whose citizenship status was governed by The British Nationality Act of 1948. That same act governed the status of Obama Sr.‘s children.
Since Sen. Obama has neither renounced his U.S. citizenship nor sworn an oath of allegiance to Kenya, his Kenyan citizenship automatically expired on Aug. 4,1982.”

Whilst once having had grossly suspicious and near unforgivable dual nationality might not unequivocally prove a person to be a mussulman nor disbar a person from ever becoming President of the United States, it surely must be noted that this fact was not known to us until now because this fact was intentionally concealed from us until now. And it is a fact that must surely be a subject of some interest to the public. One would have thought it merited at least minor mention in the mainstream media. But no. Of course, if McCain’s third cousin’s aunt’s mother’s cat happened to be discovered to have grossly suspicious and near unforgivable concealed dual nationality it would be all over the headlines straight away.

Green dye

“Green” women stand for all things natural and pure and just won’t so much as switch on a light if they suspect any of the electrons used have been produced by nuclear power and won’t so much as touch a tofu sandwich if they suspect it isn’t organic free range tofu without additives and killed using a humane painless tofu strangling machine powered by sustainable but heavily subsidised windmills. So how come they always manage to use more hair dye and more dress and makeup cunning than any other group of women on this green planet or any other? Same also goes for the men.

Brass in saving ass

Frit notes that some very furry organisations, including Oxfam, Save the Children and Care, are suggesting that smooth multimillionaire Blair, former British Prime Minister, is failing in his very well paid attempts to save the ass of the Palestinian. Who would have thought it. Who would have thought it. Multimillionaire Blair concedes that “much more could and should be done”, in full knowledge that much more could and should be earned. What a winner! It all just comes so natural to him.

Rich and famous Marxists bring down banks

Frit reads that “it is the Clinton-era changes to the Community Reinvestment Act that forced banks to lend more for “affordable housing”. Law firms, including ones connected to Obama, sued banks that failed to meet their low-income quotas for mortgages”.

The age of irresponsibility

Frit notes that would-be multimillionaire unelected British Prime Minister Boredom Brown is swanning around at the United Nations in New York, making fancy speeches on the financial crisis, stating that “we must now say clearly that the age of irresponsibility must be ended”. This is the same would-be multimillionaire Boredom Brown that has occupied the post of British Chancellor of the Exchequer for the past ten years!!!!
Wikipedia defines the post of Chancellor of the Exchequer as “the title held by the British Cabinet minister who is responsible for all economic and financial matters”!!!!
When asked to clarify when "the age of irresponsibility'' began, a Government official travelling with Mr Brown refused to specify beyond admitting it was "in recent years''!!!!

Financial crisis

The Bush-Cheney response to the financial crisis adds up to stealing money from the 30% of the population that have made sensible decisions with their finances and giving it to the 70% who have made lousy decisions with theirs and gotten themselves into debt. This is a disgraceful response. Undiluted socialism. Very un-American.

The same response on the part of the British government is very British.

Sudden funny turn for Biden?

As a response to the Republicans' appointment of a woman as vice presidential candidate, which appears to be going down well, multimillionaire President and Saviour of all Mankind B.A. Barackabama is said to be planning to have multimillionaire Joe Biden give up his appointment as Democratic vice presidential candidate “for health reasons” so that hectomillionairess Hilary Clinton can now take his place. Surely the Democrats (who tell us on their website that they stand for open, honest and accountable government) couldn’t be so devious, dishonest and deceitful. OH YES THEY COULD!

Footnote
Looking at the Democratic Party’s website, one comes across astonishingly illiterate passages in “crtical” places, like: “We are in a crticial moment that will reverberate for generations to come. We see us through these times, Democrats will work to end the war in Iraq and refocus our nation's efforts on those who attacked us on September 11.”

and: “When Democrats ask for your vote, we can win anywhere.”

and: “We released a new, 65-page report on John McCain's 26 years in Washington, cozy relationships with his lobbyist campaign advisors and fundraisers and the backroom deals he's been involved with have harmed Americans and cost America jobs.”

We can’t send them all back to school because that’s where they all hang out anyway . . .

Creationism

A media hullaballoo blew up last week in Britain because a certain Professor Michael Reiss, director of science education at the Royal Society, apparently seemed to suggest that “creationism” be taught in British schools by way of including “religious” pupils in science courses. For the uneducated, “Creationism” is an ism for those lacking the gumption to make sense of the normal evolutionary processes of life going on around them, before their very eyes, each day. When they see a spider eat a fly they flee for refuge to a land of furry goodness where the fly has some mystical point to its existence that transcends the simple needs of its own or the spider’s survival. The fly will just be okay and somehow remain in undigested form and be of intrinsic value and live for ever somewhere sometime in the end, perhaps even getting a Nobel prize for something or other or getting to shake the hand of hectomillionaire Bill Clinton or Great Gore or some other Alpha furry being before turning into a sort of semi invisible state and levitating from view hand in hand with the spider.

But the strange thing is that, after all the hullaballoo about this issue, there was an even bigger hullaballoo after Professor Reiss was sacked, a hullabaloo made by wordy and seriously strange people seeking to defend his support for teaching “creationism” in schools, with headlines like “The Royal Society is sadly unenlightened on creationism”! (Telegraph!) And then it turns out that Professor Reiss does not support any such thing and never said any such thing and the entire issue was nothing but a load of misrepresentation and a pack of lies put about by the newspapers in the first place. Disgraceful!

But then, just when one thinks one has gotten to the bottom of the matter, one reads “Professor Reiss, who is an ordained Church of England Minister . . .” Help!

Woman on top

Tzipi Livni, a woman, is the new leader of Israel's Kadima party. Strange that parties of the left spend soooo much time talking about equal rights and women’s rights and equality and all these things, but somehow it actually always seems to actually be the parties of the actual right that actually go ahead and actually elect actual female leaders. Strange world. Strange world.

Suicide

Frit notes that Belgium is fourteenth in the table of countries with the highest suicide rates. This he finds surprising. He would have expected all the Belgians to have done the decent thing and topped themselves by now.

Working to make a financial difference

“Surely there must be a level beyond which profit from news is simply indecent”, says world renowned super duper CNN chief international correspondent Christiane Amanpour. Fine sentiments, but, deep down in his soul, Frit knows it is the level beyond which she personally profits from the news herself that she finds so indecent.

Whenever people issue such “not interested in the money” type statements to the gullible and the young, proper journalists should straight away enquire exactly how much money they actually make themselves before rushing to bring us their wonderful words. Frit now publically challenges Christiane Aman-by-no-means-poor (real name Mrs Rubin) to disclose her income and allow us to examine all her bank statements. She comes from a well-off Iranian family that fled Iran when the religious crackpots seized power, for a start, and Frit, for one, is less than believing when told all the money “is tied up”.

Oh ever so nice rich woman, with such weird hair, you are the very archetypal serial slanter of media fact and truth for self advancement and cash. Your husband, millionaire James Rubin, is a former assistant to hectomillionaire Bill Clinton and a current advisor to hectomillionairess Hilary Clinton for goodness sake. You yourself quite openly claim to be “working to make a difference” instead of “working to be impartial and objective”. Oh, Mrs. Rubin, how do we permit such untruth-tellers as you to get away with such deception in such blatant fashion? SHOW US YOUR BANK STATEMENTS!

Jury unable to decide if it has less gumption than backbone or vice versa

The British legal system has flunked yet again. This time it has failed to have 7 would-be terrorists garrotted after a lucrative 5 month trial. Apparently, this is the fault of George Bush for having ordered the arrest of a terrorist suspect “too soon” for the super big-earning British police force and prosecution service to have built a watertight case against the seven. The evidence against them only included six “suicide videos” to be released to the media after an attack, a mass of bombmaking material and extensive surveillance video and audio recordings. Not enough. The good men and women of a British jury need a terrorist to have detonated his bomb and killed and maimed a lot of people on camera from ten different angles before they will take him seriously. They just couldn’t be convinced.

The well-paid judge allowed the jurors a two-week holiday after they had retired to consider their verdicts. They were also given time off for one juror to attend a training course and they had several days off for illness. Between July 28, when the jury retired, and September 8, when it returned its verdicts, it deliberated for just over 56 hours. Frit thinks the members of this jury should now be prosecuted for wasting public money and the judge, the police, the prosecution and defence should all be prosecuted for stealing it.

Bravely brushing aside the rules

Unelected British Prime Minister and would-be multimillionaire Boredom Brown has broken with political convention by offering effusive praise for Multimillionaire President B.A. Barackabama at a time when foreign leaders are meant to maintain careful neutrality ahead of the US election. Some might believe Boredom Brown did this because he is a cunning and slippery heavyweight political assassin, but Frit believes he did it because he is an incompetent moron loser.

Near alien being stages coup

The “old media” are reporting with rapturous interest that German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeyer has now staged a successful coup within his Social Democratic Party to make himself its next Chancellor candidate. Steinmeyer’s name includes the German word for “stone”, i.e. “Stein”, but not, strangely, the German words for “from under a”. The “old media” is not going out of its way to trumpet the fact that this deeply creepy individual has done this despite having said, in March of this year, that the idea of him intending to do any such thing was “codswallop”. “I am doing all I can to make sure that the (present) Chairman of the Social Democratic Party, Kurt Beck, is elected as Germany’s next Chancellor,” he went on to untruthfully say at the time.

Saving the planet with veg and two veg

A certain brute with big hair named Dr Pachauri (career United Nations global warming big earner and brainwasher of the gullible and the young) says people in better-off countries should stop eating so much meat if the globally warmed planet is to be saved from doom and destruction. So we are not at all under threat from the vast numbers of new human beings that result from uncontrolled breeding, as we might have thought, we are under threat from not eating our greens. And the United Nations is not there to put any effort into confronting global breeding, it is there to advise those bred what to eat. We are so grateful.

Apparently “Dr Pachauri has just been re-appointed for a second six-year term as chairman of the Nobel Prize-winning IPCC, the body that collates and evaluates climate data for the world's governments”. How glad we are to here it. We shall wish the man six more years of good earning as we fry tonight’s steak.

Bloody debate

Frit notes that the “debate” going on in Germany right now, about withdrawing German armed forces from Afghastlystan (inspired, of course, by the considerate peace loving greens, social democrats and communists), is not going unnoticed by the terrorists in Afghastlystan. Naturally, their contribution to helping the debate along is to increase their attacks on German forces and kill as many as they can. The blood of these men and women in the German armed forces is therefore, of course, on the hands of the considerate peace loving greens, social democrats and communists.

Frit’s summer evening idyll

Gazpacho, fromaggio and Bardolino with a muchacho on the patio.

AIDS from aides?

Things have been said for some time now in places like http://codeblueblog.blogs.com/codeblueblog/2005/03/csi_medblogs_do.html. But Frit believes hectomillionaire Bill Clinton might have AIDS for quite another reason, i.e. to set up an AIDS foundation and go around vaunting the rights of AIDS sufferers whilst at the same time pretending to the world that you yourself have another disease entirely would just be so much in character, wouldn’t it.

Croning ceremonies

Madonna, a publicity seeking old woman who’s life has been dedicated to showing her body parts to people on stage for money (such a modern idea!), is the latest being to crawl from the swamp to back Multimillionaire President B.A. Barackabama, comparing him to the Indian God Ghandi, the ultimate selfless being who wanted nothing but got immense influence, limelight and fame anyway. She also compares McCain to Hitler. The only historical figure Frit can think of comparing Madonna with is the ghastly crone said throughout the ages to sit on the chests of people when they sleep, giving them nightmares and thus bequeathing us the fine concept of having been “hagridden”. There must be so many to have crossed Madonna’s path who feel that way.

NB: Frit reads that crones can now be properly and officially croned at a croning ceremony. A woman who describes herself as “an eco-crone, ritualist, hypnotherapist, frame drummer and emerging gourd artist” is “available as a consultant and convener to plan and/or conduct customized croning ceremonies for individuals, groups, circles, and gatherings”. She can be contacted at http://www.croning.org/pages/534083/index.htm by any aspiring crone who would like to find out her “fee schedule”. However much it is, Frit feels sure Madonna has made enough from public vulgarity to afford it.