Copenhagen

Frit is currently in Copenhagen. He came here by mistake. Being shortsighted, he misread “climate change conference” as “deranged primate conference” and thought it worth a look. No matter, on arrival he found he read it correctly anyway. The entire city of Copenhagen has been turned into a political correctness hootenanny. Huge banners, signs and displays all over the place telling people what those who rule us consider the right messages, just like in North Korea. Every leftist political cause is represented on every street by every pathetic jerk in Christendom ready to wreck the planet and fly in from anywhere to enjoy a self-righteous zealous kneesup.

The whole picture is then to be completed soon when the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President turns up to dazzle every deranged primate in town. On the way he is stopping off in Oslo to pick up his peace prize. The Norwegians are unhappy because he cancelled dinner with the Norwegian Nobel committee, a press conference, a television interview, appearances at a children's event promoting peace and a music concert, as well as a visit to an exhibition in his honor at the Nobel peace centre. He also turned down a lunch invitation from the King of Norway. Rumor is he cancelled because Michelle only travels in Cadillacs these days and somehow got the idea they would be driven between venues in an old Fiord.

Flat-earthers

The Wally In Charge Of Warming at the UN has appeared on TV in a very expensive suit to rubbish Climategate. Desperately trying to preserve the gravy train and shortly before his appointment to be measured for his next expensive suit, this cross between a badger and a garden gnome, inventor of the farting cow, valiantly defended the planet from a bunch of harmless emails hacked and distributed by Frit’s anti-warming organization War On Warmers (WOW). Climategate is nonsense and poor countries have every right to come to Copenhagen to steal from the rich! All the same, Frit detects that those who feed us the news are becoming unsettled by Climategate in that they are slowly starting to report it.

Meanwhile, unelected Prime Minister of Britain, warmer and tub of Scots lard Boredom Brown, has publicly referred to Frit and other prominent global warming skeptics as “flat-earthers”. So incensed is Frit by this insult that he had his men challenge Brown to a duel. As brown has but a single eye he cannot reasonably be expected to have a fair chance throwing claymores at ten paces. This is why Frit has proposed throwing claymores at ten paces, but has undertaken to aim only at the missing eye.

All sorts of people in glass houses throw stones

A ‘prominent’ Turkish-German film director has said he will not bring his new film to Switzerland in protest against the referendum vote that banned the construction of minarets in that country. "This referendum conflicts with my understanding of humanism, tolerance and the belief that harmonious co-existence of peoples of differing backgrounds, races and religions must be possible," the film director said in an open letter. He made no mention of any open letter he bothered to write criticizing any laws or attitudes that conflict with his understanding of humanism etc. in Turkey, where a poll revealed that 59% believe that non-Mussulmanics should not even be permitted to hold meetings of any sort. For their part, the Swiss are delighted at this unexpected spinoff from their vote. Keeps a load of trendy mind-softening childish codswallop off their cinema screens.

And then there is Iran, which warned Switzerland on Saturday of “consequences” and urged Bern not to enforce the ban. The vote went “against the prestige of a country which claims to be an advocate of democracy and human rights,” the Foreign Minister apparently told his Swiss counterpart in a telephone call. Carefully studying his map of the world with a magnifying glass for some time, Frit finds no other Iran than the one where they are currently gunning down political protesters in the streets in unknown large numbers, where they regularly stone young women to death, hang homosexuals and keep their country united by making scapegoats of Jews in exactly the same way the Nazis did. Human rights?

Egyptians also have a lot to say. Egypt's grand mufti denounced the referendum result as an "insult" to Islam. Killing Coptic Christians in Egypt and treating them like animals was not mentioned. Neither was the aggravation they suffer if they try to build a church. As Cairo has at least 4,700 mosques with minarets and the authorities are currently striving to control the extraordinary brouhaha that results from thousands of muezzins all shouting a load of rubbish through loudhailers all at the same time, out of sync, 5 times a day, Frit would have thought the Egyptians would have some sympathy with the Swiss. But no.

Rack his brain as he might, Frit can think of not a single Mussulmanic land nor organization nor individual that is not guilty of the most gross hypocrisy in protesting the Swiss ban. In Frit’s view they should leave the Swiss alone and get on with answering those important questions they post on the Internet like “Is it valid to pray behind one who makes grammatical mistakes when he recites the Qur’aan?“

Sharks and other fish

Today is the big day we have all been waiting for – the beginning of the United Nations Climate Change Conference! WE ARE SAVED! Frit thought we were in danger of having the entire thing called off in the light of Climategate and might not be saved after all. But no, Great Gore is the only one to have chickened out. Great Gore has made so much money from the global warming hoax that he can afford to pull out. Not so the estimated 16,500 delegates, activists and reporters attending, whose incomes and careers still depend on it. Frit is told that, when they descend upon Copenhagen today, they will be emitting 40,584 tons of carbon dioxide equivalents over the duration of the event, roughly the same amount as the carbon emissions of Morocco in 2006. Frit is also reliably informed by a new Australian Warmers’ study that warmer ocean temperatures caused by global warming could cause sharks “and other fish” to become more aggressive! Copenhagen being on the coast, Frit is hoping those 16,500 delegates, activists and reporters all decide to take a swim and are set upon by herrings.

American hero breaks silence

American hero Donald Rumsfeld has done us all the service of telling the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President that he lately did a “disservice to the truth”. Frit thanks Mr Rumsfeld for this, and for his diplomatic choice of words. Frit’s own inelegant choice of words, i.e. “dishonorable lying sporn of slimeball cesspit subculture”, just doesn’t have the same impact. It damages the important cause and reflects badly on Frit.

The enemy within

The groundswell in Europe is emphatically in favor of the democratic Swiss ban on minarets. Polls taken everywhere reveal huge majorities in support of such a ban in other countries. Italy is likely to hold a similar referendum soon. In response and panic, the mainstream media is reporting only the utterances of those not in favor, such as the UN and Daniel Cohn-Bendit, appallingly short human tick and co-president of the Greens in the European Parliament (CO-president, so democratic). Like the Turks, Cohn-Bendit has called on rich Muslims to empty their bank accounts in Switzerland in retaliation for Sunday's referendum. Cohn-Bendit is the archenemy within. Like so many of his ilk, after attending a secondary school for children of the upper middle class he started out red and later turned green. Like so many of his ilk he likes to molest children, once having taken a job in a kindergarten specifically for the purpose. Like so many of his ilk he also likes writing books about his own ever-so-fascinating life. "On several occasions certain kids would open my fly and start to stroke me. I reacted differently according to circumstances, but their desire posed a problem for me. I asked them: 'Why don't you play together? Why have you chosen me, and not the other kids?' But if they insisted, I caressed them still", he once wrote. So why is he sitting in the European Parliament aiding the downfall of civilization instead of sitting in prison?

In the picture, Cohn-Bendit can be seen talking about size to a class of small boys.

New Afghastlystan strategy – lose but pretend to win in eighteen months

At the end of the Second World War, advance American forces approached a small German town. Shots were fired and those defending the town surrendered. The Americans disarmed all the adult males in the town and put them in an adjacent field. They posted six men to guard them until the next unit came along to process them and then pushed on. Once they had departed the hardliners amongst the prisoners overpowered and killed the guards then drove the rest of the prisoners back into the town. When the follow-up American unit arrived and learned what had happened it called in air strikes and bombed the town fairly flat.

In Afghastlystan, by comparison, the locals jump out into the streets for some handouts when infidel forces arrive in town but flee to the fields when the Taliban call by. This is the wrong way round. It happens because the locals know that, when shot at, the infidels have to make 50 phone calls to obtain permission to shoot back, which might or might not be given, whereas the Taliban just torture you then chop off your head. It is crucial to any conflict that the locals are more afraid of you than they are of your enemy. Only then do they hand the enemy over and the war stops.

The new Afghastlystan strategy unveiled yesterday by the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President includes none of Frit’s crucial goals, i.e. destroying opium production there, preventing Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and depriving Pakistan of the nuclear weapons it already possesses, because these are not his goals. The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President’s goal is essentially to make that country into a place for getting rid of US soldiery at a much faster rate than has applied up to now. The idea is for Afghastlystan to eventually consume all US and other infidel armed forces in entirety and leave the way free for global Sharia.

Frit took this photograph of General McChrystal receiving instructions on how to tie both arms of his men behind their backs instead of one.

Shove your minaret

The Swiss have refused to have the Mussulmanics force them to build minarets on top of their cuckoo clocks. The Mussulmanics are upset. They thought that giving their towers a name the sound of which conjures up the image of a sweet French schoolgirl would mask their sinister purposes. They were wrong. The Swiss were not fooled. Switzerland is now leading Europe and is not even a member of the EU. In retaliation, Saudi Arabia wanted to hold a referendum on forbidding Christian churches and Jewish synagogues, but since these are already forbidden and nobody seems to notice they are instead said to be planning a referendum on forbidding holes in cheese. The rules are that women are not allowed to vote at all and should shut up and men can only vote if they are the King. Historically, the Mussulmanics have been suspicious of the Swiss since the day one of them failed to cut off the head of his son before shooting an apple from the top of it. Now this.

Question: Is it possible to hold a referendum and then declare the outcome illegal if it is not the outcome you wanted?
Answer: Yes it is. Just watch.

Gatecrashers

Last week, Frit spent a lot of money on a posh frock for Mrs Frit with a view to gatecrashing the Whitehouse thanksgiving party (though not as much as multimillioniress Worst Lady Michelle spent on that posh socialist frock rumoured to have kept 40 slaves busy with needles for a month until their fingers bled). Unfortuneately, the attempt came to nothing. Frit and Mrs Frit were arrested and waterboarded by the CIA. Next day, they were appalled to discover that only couples with Mussulmanic sounding names and links to Hamas are permitted to successfully gatecrash such events. Frit and Mrs Frit have thus renamed themselves Mohammed and Fatima Bin Frit, have started raising funds for the next intifada and are hoping for better luck next year.

Hajj

The Mussulmanics are presently in Mecca performing the important ceremony of plodding in circles round the big stone box draped in black silk, stoning the Devil etc.. Saudi newspapers are reporting that the grandmother of the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President is prominent amongst them. In his message to his grandmother and all other fellow Mussulmanics at this important time in their calendar, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President says “The rituals of Hajj and Eid-ul-Adha both serve as reminders of the shared Abrahamic roots of three of the world’s major religions”. Sounds very nice until you remember that people from the other two of those major religions with Abrahamic roots are likely to encounter visa application problems if they wish to attend. They are unclean and not allowed to enter Mecca and they might well have their heads as well as their roots chopped off if they try to.

Every true Mussulmanic has to participate in the Hajj at least once in their lifetime, if they have the wherewithal, we are told. Doing the math on this, i.e. subtracting the 2 million Mussulmanics performing Hajj from the 1.5 billion the world is blessed with, rather implies that some are slacking. Thus, Frit urges all who have a Mussulmanic for a neighbor to knock on his door and ask him if he intends honoring his commitment. No excuses. If he could afford to fly to Pakistan for an arranged marriage last month he can afford Mecca this month. Off you go! Off you go!

The picture shows the big stone box draped in black silk and the hordes of pilgrims with the three Giant Jellyfish of Allah floating prominently in the foreground on the lookout for any encroaching Jews.

Harpo out

Mrs Frit, ever a matchmaker, suggests that the new EU President and his new EU Foreign Minister should marry, both being equally charisma-challenged. Frit is skeptical. When they get to the part of the marriage ceremony where the vicar asks if they take one another there is a danger that neither will know who the other is nor who they themselves are. And, talking of marriage, a little bird tells Frit that Worst Lady Michelle Hussein Obama has fallen out with Oprah Winfrey in a jealous fit! Apparently, Oprah was actually christened Orpah, but nobody in the family could pronounce that so they changed it to Harpo written backwards. It seems that Oprah was muscling in on Michelle’s man, who “would jump when she called”.

Frit considered posting the image of a monkey with Michelle’s features that many monkeys have been complaining to Google about in recent days (for an earlier related post see http://thethoughtsoffrit.blogspot.com/2009/06/please-dont-mention-family-tree-unless.html). Instead, Frit posts this recent photograph which he took of Michelle in the Whitehouse gardens manually de-worming her dog, a task she was planning on delegating to Oprah in happier times.

Oh waht a sacrifice

The human race can be proud that its Hindu community conducted the largest animal sacrifice of all time in Nepal this week. Glancing at his calendar, Frit sees that this is the year 2009. Yes we have come this far! The head priest launched the event with the sacrifice of two rats, two pigeons, a rooster, a lamb and a pig. The crowd then rushed to a nearby field where 250 sword-wielding butchers began the mass slaughter of around 20,000 buffalo, brought by devotees to be sacrificed near the holy temple. Not wishing to be outdone when it comes to bizarre atrocity committed in the name of religion, the Mussulmanics, currently all in Mecca to walk in circles round a box, are planning their own version of this ceremony next year, intending to hack off the heads of 20,000 Hindus but leave out the pig.

One mainstream media outlet describes what is going on in the photograph as “slitting the throat”!

Frit's Ten Point Plan

Few people know that Frit is the person who drew up the ten point plan for halting the Mussulmanisation of Europe which was later adopted by Geerd Wilders and his party following a secret meeting with Frit in a tulip field, i.e.:

1. Stop cultural relativism. We need an article in our constitutions that lays down that we have a Jewish-Christian and humanism culture.
2. Stop pretending that Mussulmanicism is a religion. Mussulmanicism is a totalitarian ideology. In other words, the right to religious freedom should not apply to Mussulmanicism.
3. Stop mass immigration by people from Mussulmanic countries. We have to end Al-Hijra.
4. Encourage voluntary repatriation.
5. Expel criminal foreigners and criminals with dual nationality, after denationalization, and send them back to their Mussulmanic countries. Likewise, expel all those who incite ‘violent jihad’.
6. We need an European First Amendment to strengthen free speech.
7. Have every member of a non-Western minority sign a legally binding contract of assimilation.
8. We need a binding pledge of allegiance in all Western countries.
9. Stop the building of new Mussulmanic mosques. As long as no churches or synagogues are allowed to be built in countries like Saudi-Arabia we will not allow one more new mosque in our western countries. Close all mosques where incitement to violence is taking place. Close all Mussulmanic schools, for they are fascist institutions and young children should not be educated an ideology of hate and violence.
10. Get rid of the current weak leaders. We have the privilege of living in a democracy. Let’s use that privilege and exchange cowards for heroes. We need more Churchills and less Chamberlains.

Frit would now like to add a new Point 11 to this list, i.e. ban the döner kebab! There could be anything or any animal under the sun in that revolting tower of icky spam. You just don’t know.

Millions of degrees

Frit has turned down several Nobel Peace prizes down the years, loath to have his name associated with other recipients such as Multimillionaire Nobel Laureate Great Gore. Gore spent all these years lucratively convincing us we are to blame for global warming and, just as we were about to believe him, he now appears on TV to admit he knew all along that the core of the earth is to blame, having increased its temperature to “millions of degrees”, unnoticed by anyone but him. No wonder we’re all sweating. Let’s hope we get some cool air from the photoshopped hurricane rotating the wrong way on the cover of his latest book.

Smaller feet, smaller footprints

According to the United Nations’ ‘State of World Population report’, women have a lower carbon footprint than men. Women drive and fly much less than men and purchase fewer carbonintensive goods etc.. This idiotic assertion is not going down very well amongst Mussulmen, because, as we all know, Mussulmen regard women as extremely environmentally-unfriendly and polluting. After all, did not Muhammad inform us all that women are “unclean” creatures. Did he not say that “Three things corrupt prayer: women, dogs, and donkeys”. Did he not say that “Woman is a vile beast,” and that “Women were created for nothing but evil”.

The assertion is also not going down very well with Frit, whose wife, Mrs Frit, buys far too many of those carbonintensive cut flowers, advent calendars and other girly stuff.

Earning from hunger

A lot of words are being written and sold and spoken and sold on the subject of world hunger and the Rome Food Security Summit right now. The Rome Food Security Summit is a scam where the likes of Robert Mugabe, who has probably done more than any other despot in history to make sure people in his country have nothing whatsoever to eat, can have their begging bowls filled with freebies supplied by unfair westerners who selfishly monopolize all the planet’s grub.
The Rome Food Security Summit will not link the figure of one billion hungry people with that of one billion needless births. The pretence is that those one billion needless hungry mouths have nothing to do with biology and global population mismanagement. They have just been conjured out of the air somehow and all we now have to do is somehow conjure a method of feeding them out of the air to suit. Frit, who lives in a western society where, in recent times, people worked hard to produce adequate food and fewer children to eat it, travelled to Rome to deliver the following message to the Food Security Summit: FRIT DOES NOT HAVE TOO MUCH TO EAT! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!

No matching collar and cuffs

The latest employment law lunacy case in Britain has been brought by a woman against her former male boss. She wants him to pay her 4 million pounds for calling her a dumb blonde and for making dumb blonde jokes. He has to argue to a three-woman employment tribunal that “It was said entirely as a joke, it was never intended as an insult”. Frit thinks little of his chances, even despite the fact that, whilst it might not be easy to tell from the photograph if the individual in question is actually dumb, it’s very easy to tell she’s not actually blonde.

Frit has already purchased some shoe polish with the intention of blacking up and suing the first person he hears make a joke that includes the word golliwog.

Hands off!

Frit, who, as a direct result of Mussulmanic terrorism, has to suffer strip searching, x-rays and endoscopy virtually every time he boards an airplane, enters a public building or crosses the street, is seething with livid rage at the Canadian police chief who apologized to a Mussulmanic woman, and to the Mussulmanic community, when she complained that one of his officers patted her down when arresting her husband. Frit is beside himself at this outrage. Frit wants this police chief sacked. More, Frit wants this police chief sacked, deprived of his Canadian citizenship, excommunicated from the Christian church and divested of all the money he has swindled out of the Canadian taxpayer throughout his slimy lily-livered career, except for the price of a one-way ticket to Saudi Arabia, where, for the rest of his cowardly life, he shall ponder what a delightful society pandering to such harebrained drivel creates. As for the Mussulmanic woman concerned, Frit is already training a whisky drinking pig to pat her down next time.

Bush-Cheney to stand trial in New York

Frit learns that the biggest show trial in the history of the world is about to be held. Former President George W Bush, former Vice-President Dick Cheney, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, unknown numbers of CIA, law enforcement and military people are all to go on trial in New York on charges arising from their attempts to protect America and the free world from the onslaught of sixth century religious dogma. Witnesses for the prosecution include 4 individuals specially flown in from Guantanamo Bay. When found guilty, all defendants could face the death penalty.

Incredibly incapable

Mary Robinson, one-time President of the place that likes to refer to itself as the “Emerald Isle”, although everyone else just calls it “that peat bog over there”, has described as “unjust and unwarranted” all criticism from American pro-Israel groups of The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President’s recent award to her of the Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the US. “I was acting purely in a principled, human rights way with no bias, which I am incapable of”, said she. They are so unassuming. So unassuming.

Searching Google images for “Mary Robinson” reveals that she is far from too modest to be photographed though far too unsightly to feature on Frit’s blog. But Frit came across this interesting painting of another Robinson, Robinson Crusoe. The President of the United States, on holiday in the West Indies in his younger days, can be seen mistaking his garb for that of an Arab and fawning at his feet.

Immoral Arabs

A German of Russian descent is on trial for stabbing to death a pregnant Muslim woman and injuring her husband specifically because they are Muslims. As heinous as this crime undoubtedly is, it is curious to see how much of the Muslim world has erupted in fury. In Cairo and Alexandria, the home city of the couple, there were demonstrations outside the German Embassy and German institutions. The protests spread to Iran and Karachi in Pakistan, where women held up placards denouncing the West and calling for justice for the “headscarf martyr”. German justice is, of course, not good enough, and a fatwa has been issued. Curious that wholesale butchery of the infidel in Muslim countries is not a problem to anyone whereas a single “headscarf martyr” is really, really upsetting. Curious also that the trial, for which the security operation is huge, is not being much reported on by those who feed us the news. Not even in Germany itself.

Similarly, the Turks, who divided the island of Cyprus, are guilty of equal imbalance over a bar being opened in the Christian half in what was formerly a mosque. The many churches, graveyards etc. located in their own half of the island that they have destroyed completely, desecrated or turned into head chopping off factories and so forth simply don’t count.

Kemal Ataturk declared that “Islam – the theology of an immoral Arab – is a dead thing. It might have suited tribes in the desert. It is no good for a modern, progressive state”. Sadly, the Turks are now increasingly embracing that theology and moving backwards towards the Middle Ages. They are a disgrace to the absurd looking bird after which they named their country. Frit suggests they rename it after the bird pictured, the Scimitar-babbler, making themselves the “Scimitar-babblers”, a much more apt name for those intent on running around chopping off heads with a curved sword whilst uttering meaningless sounds.

Which way to the bridge?

In the wake of the Fort Hood massacre, Frit is confused. He is reading that Muslims in the military have a problem, they need to “seek a bridge between worlds” say experts. “How can a Muslim participate in killing other Muslims in such places as Iraq and Afghanistan?”, they ask. Frit, in his ignorance, always thought that Iraqis are Muslims, but they seem to have no problems killing one another. Frit thought that Afghastlystanis are Muslims and they have no problems killing one another either. Pakistanis kill one another just fine. Palestinians are experts at it. Iranians, Saudis, Yemenis, Lebanese . . . In fact, Frit finds it quite difficult to think of a Muslim country where Muslims have any difficulty whatsoever in killing one another, and preferably by the most gruesome methods available. Or has Frit misunderstood something? When they say they “seek a bridge between worlds”, perhaps they mean so they can throw one another off it.

Birth of a religion

In a landmark ruling in Britain, Mr Justice Michael Burton-Loon has pronounced that a belief in man-made climate change, if genuinely held, can be considered to have the status of a religious conviction “for the purpose of the 2003 Religion and Belief Regulations”. Frit wonders if this means it’s now okay to dress its adherents in strange green frocks, persecute unbelievers and chop off their heads in its name. Frit also wonders if a belief that there is no such thing as man-made climate change, if genuinely held, can equally be considered to have the status of a religious conviction “for the purpose of the 2003 Religion and Belief Regulations”. If so, Frit intends installing effigies at the headquarters of his own anti warming dogma organization WOW (War On Warmers) and insisting that the staffers there remain celibate.

Long frocks are a giveaway

A man who habitually wore a frock and posted anti-western stuff on the Internet was allowed to stay in the US army and eventually butcher people trying to defend America and the western world. But those who rule us say this was not an act of terrorism. No, rather it was the act of a mentally deranged individual. Apparently, an individual can either be mad or can be a terrorist, never both. So those of us who thought that every terrorist is a madman are quite mistaken. Are we also mistaken about thinking the frock is the uniform of the enemy so frock wearers simply have to be ejected from the armed forces and sent to Guantanamo Bay? Get real!

Morality

Frit has concluded that the great threat posed by the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President and his henchmen and henchwomen stems from the fact that they see artificial dogma as infallible truth. They see their acts as moral acts and not as political acts. This makes it government by religion. Like in Iran.

It seems that, in Texas, a Mussulman woman applied for a job with CareNow, an employer who has a “no-hats” policy, and failed to get the job because she insisted she had to keep her headscarf on. The CAIR organization (Cuddly Allah’s Islamic Racketeers), has now written to CareNow asking it to “1) offer the Muslim applicant a position for which she is qualified and to allow her to wear her Islamic head scarf, 2) provide the applicant with a formal written apology, 3) clarify CareNow’s policy on religious accommodation issues and allow a religious exemption to the“no-hat” policy, 4) institute workplace sensitivity and diversity training for staff, and 5) compensate the Muslim applicant for the emotional distress she has suffered as a result of the discrimination”.

Frit, who once had to stay alive in the jungle for months on end, knows how to kill every type of animal, including ones with fur, using nothing but a loofer. Therefore he is qualified to work in a slaughterhouse. However, only last week, when he applied for a job as slaughterman in a halal slaughterhouse he was informed that the job may only be done by a Mussulman. This is not equal opportunity. This is straightforward religious discrimination. So Frit has now followed CAIR’s splendid example and written to the slaughterhosue asking it to “1) offer the Christian applicant Frit a position for which he is qualified and to allow him to turn up for work with a bottle of beer, his pork pie and no beard, 2) provide Frit with a formal written apology, 3) clarify policy on religious accommodation issues and allow a religious exemption to the“no-infidel” policy, 4) institute workplace sensitivity and diversity training for staff, and 5) richly compensate the Christian applicant for the emotional distress he has suffered as a result of the discrimination”.

CareNow appears to have relented and dropped its no-hat’s policy, so Frit is hopeful that the slaughterhouse will relent and employ him after all.The photograph shows the woman and headscarf concerned.

Importing the time bomb

Frit has learned that those who rule Britain purposely opened the country’s doors to let people in because they know that immigrants always vote for the benefits the left always promises them. Now, Frit learns that those who rule the USA are handing out taxpayer money to fund the move of people from Gaza to the USA for the same reason. In their ignorance, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President, his maturity-challenged wife and their henchmen and henchwomen are unaware that as few as 15 rabid hate-filled HAMAS (Hate and Murder and Supremacy) aid gobblers can breed themselves into 50 million rabid hate-filled HAMAS aid gobblers virtually within a single year. They are importing a time bomb. They should seek education from the Prime Minister of Turkey who only recently urged his own population to breed faster to obtain “more power”.

Mussulmen who can’t spell

Inspired by some absurdly illiterate recent hate posters, Frit’s latest book is entitled “Mussulmen who can’t spell”. Sadly, this is now being withdrawn from the shops throughout Europe because Frit learns that, if all goes as planned, the 27 member states of the European Union will soon have a common hate crime legislation that will turn disapproval of Islamic practices or homosexual lifestyles into crimes. The directive's definition of discriminatory harassment is so broad that every objection to Islamic or homosexual practices will be considered unlawful!

Frit opposes the introduction of this legislation on the grounds that those in society who most object to homosexual lifestyles are Mussulmen. Thus the legislation specifically singles out Mussulmen, especially homosexual Mussulmen who by definition must either disapprove of their own lifestyles and are thus committing a crime, or must disapprove of the Islamic practice of disapproving of their lifestyles and are thus committing a different crime. This law is discriminatory and wrong. It is also bad for book sales.

Animal lovers reach out, cows fail to reciprocate

In Britain, dog owners have been trampled to death by irate cows in record spectacular numbers this year (in an earlier post Frit reported on a case of this type where the cows failed to quite pull it off). Knowing that politically correct and townie-riddled doggy-lover land as well as she does, Mrs Frit now tells Frit she expects a law will soon be passed to make it illegal for farmers to negligently leave their cattle standing about uselessly in a field without being on a lead.

Posers

Frit notes that, in Britain, a conman has been given a jail sentence for posing as the Director of Public Prosecutions in order to seduce women. The real Director of Public Prosecutions is arch progressive Keir Starmer QC. Starmer falsified his details in Who’s Who to make himself appear less advantaged. He also recently abused his apolitical office to make public speeches against the Conservative Party’s intention to meddle with the Human Rights Act from which he earned very well thankyou for years before being appointed to his post. Nonetheless, Starmer himself is not being sent to jail for posing as the Director of Public Prosecutions in order to seduce women. What an injustice.

The photograph shows Starmer staring in disbelief at the figures the Human Rights Act has added to his bank statement down the years.

Cruelty to animals

When asked by a small boy, on camera, to confirm he was born in Hawaii, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President replied “Yeah, I was born in Hawaii, that’s true. Absolutely and my . . . my sister still lives in Hawaii. And we got a dog named Bo”. The amazing thing about this abrupt change of subject trick was its crudity. A bit like seeing the conjurer putting the rabbit into the hat with one hand before pulling it out with the other. It is so obvious. So badly done. Why do they not notice?

It is also tantamount to abusing a dumb animal incapable of giving informed consent to its being used as a prop in hoodwinking the American people. And dogs are so trusting. Frit is having his people write to PETA demanding they rescue the dog. As everyone knows, PETA is an organization that collects money from the gullible and the young for the purpose of finding dogs new homes, but instead executes them and pockets the savings. No matter, Frit is sure that the poor mutt in question would much rather spend its time fouling the pavements of heaven than suffering mistreatment at the hands of an inept showman down here. The photograph shows the brute in question poking his dog in the ear with a stick for being blacker than him.

Choice of words

Frit notes that coalition talks between the two right-leaning parties forming Germany’s new government are referred to by those who feed us the news as “fights” on the same day that talks between Hamas and Fatah, locked in a barbaric bloodthirsty struggle over who pockets the money lavished on the Palestinians by western democracies, are referred to as “negotiations”.

Appearances

In all his public appearances the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President appears to have a knack of looking like a TV entertainer one moment and like a schoolboy playing at being the President the next, but never like an actual president. We should be worried. We should be worried. Also, why does his wife always look like a big white slave ship captain guy blacked up and in drag?

Waiter there’s a fly in my soup

Frit, who is in telepathic contact across the great divide with the ghost of the fly that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President killed on TV not so long ago, has been informed firsthand by this said ghost of a fly that what the Koran has to say about flies, i.e. that if a housefly falls into a person’s drink, that person should properly immerse the fly in the drink because one of the fly’s wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease, is a load of old rubbish. It’s simply not true. Hardly surprising when one learns from ancient tomes only recently discovered in a hitherto buried temple in in a desert somewhere that the word Koran, the name of the book revealed to Mohammed by the angel Jibril over a period of approximately twenty-three years (beginning in 610 CE, when he was forty, and concluding in 632 CE, the year of his death), is short for Kooky Odious Retarded Arrant Nonsense. (Jibril is apparently short for Jalapenos In Beer-Roasted Iranian Lentils.) Is it true that the Koran has been banned in Kazakhstan?

Polar bears destroy western civilization

In his attempts at saving the world from the green disaster of the upcoming Copenhagen global climate treaty, Frit recently put himself through the ordeal of having dinner with Unelected Prime Minister of Britain and arch warmer, Boredom Brown. The aim was to try to convince him that if you only have half the number of eyes possessed by the standard human being you can reasonably be expected to see only half the thermometer and only half the north pole etc.. To no avail. The addled wretch is of the opinion that “The great injustice of climate change” is that “those being hit first and hardest by it are those who have done least to cause it”. This is an unshakable collective warmist religious conviction and a supremely effective strategy for getting the hands ever deeper into the pockets and the pants of the gullible and the young. No matter that those who have done the least owe their very existence to those who have done the most. No matter that giving all the money of those who have done the most to those who have done the least, which is the aim of the treaty, can only make the former worse off and never make the latter better off.

Frit blames it all on the polar bear. The polar bear is the most vile and vicious slaughtering machine that ever drew breath, and which the planet could well do without. But the polar bear is gift wrapped in white fur and lives in wet conditions where the blood gets quickly washed off. This makes it an acceptable, cuddly, likeable symbol, just perfect for feeding the warming doom message to our children, irrespective of it having been feeding itself on our children since time began.

Incitement to murder

Frit is breathless with admiration for this section of a BBC report on the visit of Gerd Wilders to London: “He was quizzed about his views on Islam and his unsuccessful attempt in the Dutch parliament to get the Koran banned, using the same laws under which Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf was outlawed”. They so smoothly would have us believe they are thus saying that a thoroughly good read, i.e. the Koran, must not be placed in the same category as a thoroughly bad read, i.e. Mein Kampf, whereas, of course, the real intention of the statement is simply to associate the name of Wilders with the name of Adolph Hitler anyway one can.

During the visit, Frit was not amused to see a “reporter” interviewing a retarded yob in a London street making what amounted to death threats against Gerd Wilders. The “reporter” then addressed him as “Sir”! Frit was so irritated by this that he has had his legal department write to the British Home Secretary reminding him that British law states:

Encouraging or assisting an offence believing it will be committed

Section 45 creates the crime of:
Doing an act capable of encouraging or assisting the commission of an offence; and
Believing that:

§ The offence will be committed; and
§ His act will encourage or assist its commission.

The offence is triable in the same manner, summarrarily or on indictment, as the anticipated offence (s.55(1)) and, on conviction, a person can be sentenced to the same penalty as applies to the anticipated offence (s.58).

Frit is not expecting a prompt reply.

Green subsidence

Frit’s anti global warming hoax organization WOW (War on Warmers) has discovered that the pretty town of Staufen im Breisgau in southern Germany has become the first town in the world ever to be laid waste by warming dogma. Warmers in that town were determined to do their bit to save the climate by heating their ancient town hall with green geothermal heat rather than red fossil fuel heat. So intense was their warming zeal that they ignored geological advice and bored several green warming holes hundreds of warming meters into the ground. These holes allowed water from the bowels of the earth to seep upwards into layers of rock that dissolve in water. The pretty medieval town instantly started to sink into the resulting cavities with disturbing speed. The medieval town hall and all the other medieval buildings are cracking and disintegrating. Nobody knows how to slow, arrest or reverse the process. People can only stand by and watch as their homes and businesses fall to pieces and vanish into the ground. Media reports on this green crime are extremely few and far between. Frit proposes that the townspeople seek compensation from the media and from Multimillionaire Great Gore.

Figures buried in fens

Shivering in the unusually early frost and snow of a globally warmed October morning, Frit reads that, in mid-August, the University of East Anglia's Climate Research Unit (CRU) disclosed that it had destroyed the raw data for its global surface temperature data set owing to an alleged lack of storage space. This data was the basis of several of the major international studies that claim we face a global warming crisis. Fishy as this might be, it seems not to make headline news. Frit’s own anti global warming group WOW (War on Warmers) has dispatched a team to East Anglia to dredge those fens for incriminating evidence. WOW has also written to Multimillionaire Nobel Laureate Great Gore requesting his thoughts.

Sikh freaks

Recently, a Sikh man was awarded a sum of money by a British court as compensation for having been asked to remove his turban to do training in the police force. This he could not do because his turban is “one and the same as the Sikh’s head”. Now, a Sikh schoolboy and his family are winging because he is not permitted to take a dagger to school. In Frit’s view, he should only be allowed to take the dagger to school if he is prepared to use it only to “consecrate the ceremonial sweet pudding”, which, it seems, is after all one of the dagger’s important never to be done without purposes.

Or why not simply go back to where running around with a dagger and having your head be one and the same as a piece of cloth is the done thing?

Fruits of appeasement

Frit notes that the Irish terrorist Patrick Magee, a self-obsessed frightened runt who murdered five people and injured many others when attempting to murder Margaret Thatcher twenty-five years ago, was invited to the House of Commons to “promote reconciliation”. He naturally saw this as an opportunity to simply justify his murders and his miserable existence and to parade his lack of remorse. Frit also notes that the Pale Stinians have washed their hands of the American Administration’s attempts at flooding the Middle East with peace only days after the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Politically correct gem of the week

Yesterday, when reporting about the death penalty handed out to six men in China for their part in recent unrest in the Uighur region, did CNN’s anchor Hala Gorani really tell us that the conflict was between Han Chinese and “a weaker ethnic group”? “Hala” apparently means “halo”, and it sometimes shows.

Ah, the “plight” of women in Berlusconi’s Italy

A fuss has erupted in Italy because Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi told a Democratic Party politician she has more beauty than brains. They are demanding he retract the comment. Frit agrees. It is very evident from photographs of the woman in question that, were the statement true, she would have hardly any brains at all.

Joker gets peace prize

The Nobel Peace Prize, bequeathed to us by the man who brought dynamite to the world, this year quite rightly goes to the individual most likely to blow the world up.

Frit reads that “In Saudi Arabia, which is an important player as well as a key moral force in the Arab and Islamic world, there appears to be a quiet sense of enjoyment over the news”.

Judge watch

Frit notes that, as part of the great international justice conspiracy, judges in Italy have come to the considered conclusion that judges should rule the country instead of the government, and their enemy, Billionaire Silvio Berlusconi, must be shafted. Their fellow conspirators, the most senior judges in the UK, have meanwhile ruled that long sentences for terrorist crimes could “inflame” rather than deter extremism whilst, across the pond, 3 judges in New York said “pass” one after the other when randomly chosen to conduct the trial of a terrorist suspect.

Trouble looms

An Israeli cabinet minister has declined to visit Britain for fear of being arrested as he might be faced with possible charges stemming from his time as the chief of staff of the Israeli military. This is because Israeli officials have been threatened with prosecution in Britain under the international ruling class’s legal principle of "universal jurisdiction," which says suspected perpetrators of serious crimes can be prosecuted in countries other than those in which the crimes were committed. Frit believes it is time for Israelis to threaten to prosecute members of the international ruling class under the legal principle of “universal common sense” which says suspected perpetrators of serious crimes that amount to aiding and abetting the forward march of idiocy and Methodist supremacy can be prosecuted in countries other than those in which the crimes were committed.

But then, learning that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President’s own website astonishingly compares Gaza with the Warsaw Ghetto, accusing Israel of running a “concentration camp”, Frit realizes that nothing really matters anymore. The established rational code that has kept at least some parts of the world in some sort of semi-civilized and semi-peaceful state for the past while is now obviously at an end. There is going to be trouble.

Jew boy found skulking in mosque?

Frit reads that the family of Madmood Madjihadimad apparently changed its name from Sabourjian, a Jewish name meaning "cloth weaver," to Madjihadimad when it converted to Islam after his birth. Thus his reason for being so big on hating the Jew hiding behind the tree is simply because he himself is the Jew hiding behind the tree and doesn’t want his fellow madmen to notice. Frit says, pull the other one! Were this true his relationship with his new found friend the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President (who also once went by a different name, i.e. Barry, which is a Mussulman name meaning “one who will ruin your country and the entire fabric of western civilization should you be stupid enough to elect him infidel cloth weaver fool”), wouldn’t be heading anywhere at all. (Strange how the phrase “be headed” always seems to creep in when discussing issues relating to Mussulmen.)

Food bore on Sesame Street

Big Bird dared to ask Michelle what no other dare ask but forgot to ask if she really used to sit on her dad’s lap aged 20, as she claims, and what her mum had to say about it.

Five things every dog owner should know

· You own a dog for your own sake, not for your dog’s sake.
· Your dog does not look like you, you look like your dog.
· You do not love your dog, you use your dog.
· Your dog does not love you, your dog loves anyone who gives it a bone.
· If you drop dead in your home without anyone knowing, your dog will eat you. As will your cat.

What the Dickens

People say this picture depicts Britain in times gone by, but Frit thinks it depicts Britain in times to come.

Burkinis fine versus burkini fine

Further to a recent Frit post concerning the wearing of burkinis in Britain, Frit is delighted to learn that the Mayor of a town in Italy has said that any woman seen wearing a burkini will be fined 500 Euro. “We are simply banning it and if this decision upsets anyone they can simply take a dip in a burkini in their own bathtub”, says the mayor. Frit would like to promote this mayor and give him overall charge of the whole of Europe where he could do something about Germany, for instance, where burkini wearing and other strange Methodist practices are okay whereas the much less strange practices of Baptists (yes, refugee Russian Baptists) are not tolerated at all. When some decided to opt out of the same-sexer liberal brainwashing school system and teach their children at home, the authorities took the parents to court on charges of “high treason and incitement of the people against the authorities”. Some parents were imprisoned, some were robbed of their parental authority and some had their children taken away from them. In 2007, 16-year old Melissa Busekros, who sided with her parents, was even placed in a psychiatric ward because, as the psychiatric evaluation report stated, she “considers herself healthy and her behaviour fully normal” and, hence, needed “urgent help in a closed setting” where she would get “special education treatment.”

Inane bigot snubs friend

Multimillionairess Tribal Queen of Attitude Michelle has refused to embrace Billionaire Silvio Berlusconi, a staunch ally of America. They say she has a moral/womens’ issue with him due to all the tales they tell of his philanderings (which earn the Italian left a good living). Strangely, she has no moral/womens’ issue with submissively urinating at the feet of the King of Saudi Arabia, authoritarian despot and number one enemy of the free world, a man with 4 official wives, 7 sons and fifteen daughters, and, Frit suspects, a man who keeps an unknown number of “concubines” of assorted sexes and their brood under lock and key in his own private brothel, just like his dad, and, for all Frit knows, just like his 52 brothers. And maybe his 56 sisters.

Billionaire Berlusconi took it well, and even admires Michelle’s “suntan”.

Bum bombers

The human race has to be congratulated on having reached a new level of depravity. Yes, the religion that has debased our species so well down the years has now hit on the novel idea of persuading one of its adherents to have a bomb inserted into his back passage as a means of committing murder. They’ll all be doing it soon. None of us will be able to board a plane without having a policeman perform proctoscopy on us from now on. Thank you, religion of peace. Actually, the mechanics of the idea are quite complicated because it can’t be all that easy to locate the arsehole on a person who is entirely made up of one.

The Force without a hat

Frit is outraged to hear that an individual named Jones, who created the International Church of Jediism, was “victimized over his beliefs” by staff at a British supermarket. The Jedi religion, inspired by the sci-fi films, is practiced by 500,000 around the world and requires believers to cover their heads in public places. But Mr Jones said that staff ejected him from the store over security fears when he refused to remove his hood. "I walked past a Muslim lady in a veil. Surely the same rules should apply to everyone," said Jones. Too right, Jones. In a fair world, all morons deserve equal treatment.

The President’s new skin

With the help of a pack of tarot cards and some goo brewed up by a trio of warty crones, Frit has succeeded in reaching across to the other side to establish contact with the ghost of the fly killed by the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President on TV. The fly is firmly of the belief that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President killed it merely because it happened to be blacker than he. So the fly is shocked and mystified to hear its murderer lay claim, on TV only yesterday, to almost complete true blackness. “I was black before the election”, he claimed, whereas everybody knows the opposite is true: he was elected way before he was black. “Since the election he has become blacker by the day in the eyes of his followers, the fly complains, “thanks to a new type of blackness that is invisible to anyone who is too stupid to see it”. One day, the fly and Frit fear, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President will go on a procession through the capital showing off his new black skin and a small child will cry out “the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is white” and the crowd will realize the child is telling the truth. What happens then?

Feasting

For Ramadan, the British Home Office sent a circular to the staffers requesting them not to eat in front of fasting Mussulmen. This is the opposite of the circular Frit sent to his own staffers requesting Mussulmen not to fast in front of feasting Christians.

Acorn

Hearing that Acorn is intending to sue the people who made those shocking undercover videos, Frit hopes he doesn’t get into trouble for photographing this Acorn worker advising a passing female motorist on the best way to murder her husband.

Guinness

The world’s tallest man is in London for official inclusion in the Guinness book of records. Meanwhile a Guinness heiress is also being included in the famous family record book for being the most gross miscreant slapper ever to be acquitted by a jury for having drunk more than one hundred pints of the family brew and behaved like a drunken fishwife on an airliner despite the fact that witnesses, including four hostesses and the captain, abound.

Also in London, a prize politically correct feminist global warming samesexer, Attorney General Patricia Janet Scotland, Baroness Scotland of Asthal, PC, QC (nothing upper crust and far from unassuming about that mouthful), having steered through parliament a law to penalize small businesses for employing illegal immigrants, even if they employ them “unknowingly”, has been caught concealing an illegal immigrant “housekeeper” under her own kitchen sink. We are told she “could” be prosecuted. Could? Could? COULD?

This is the same Attorney General Patricia Janet Scotland, Baroness Scotland of Asthal, PC, QC who is currently considering launching a criminal investigation into whether British secret service agents were complicit in the alleged torture of British terror suspect Binyam Mohamed. Frit believes her unfit for the job. She must resign. She must be prosecuted. She must shorten her name to bring it more in line with her own politically correct political persuasion. Otherwise we might think it’s all just a sham.

Absurd colorblind bungler

Absurd multimillionaire ex-president Carter has falsely implied that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is BLACK! Is this a racist slur? Coal is black, the night sky is black, Condoleezza Rice (the color of whose skin was never an issue for right-leaning folk) is black. An individual born of two black parents is black, but the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is obviously scientifically observably NOT BLACK! He is no darker than all those underage Latino girls his friends at racketeering organization Acorn were planning to smuggle into the country for use in brothels. This is why it is now widely believed that “the overwhelming portion” of Carter’s “animosity” towards the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is based on the fact that he is a white man.

Shoes

Those who rule us are making a lot of fuss about the release from prison of the shoe thrower. In Frit’s view, instead of being released, the shoe thrower should be put in the same cell as the shoe bomber so they can enjoy their mutual fetish together and perhaps ultimately amalgamate into a shoe thrower bomber or a shoe bomber thrower.

Further to the subject of shoes, Frit would also like to inform all those who expect the provision of free health care in America that, recently, Frit discovered holes in his own shoes. Hardly surprising as Frit, always hard up, has been wearing the same pair of shoes since 1917. So Frit set off to obtain a new pair. He intended to obtain a free pair but, search as he might, he found none. No free shoes anywhere to be had. Nobody was making shoes and giving them away for free. The only shoes he could find were ones that people were making and putting on sale for money, so he had to pay for a pair. Bit like that with health care too.

Whodunit?

A British soldier has been found shot in Afghastlystan in suspicious circumstances. Murder most foul being suspected, Frit was requested to look into the matter (some rooted for Hercule Poirot, but he’s Belgian). It took Frit not very long to establish that the background to the incident is that the international Left long ago embarked upon a quest to denigrate the western military and make every Afghastlystani into a victim. One of its tools, the New York Times, sent, in turn, one of its own tools, a shameful fool nicknamed “Robohack”, to dig up the dirty on the military. Being a shameful fool, Robohack strayed where constantly advised not to stray and was nabbed by the Taliban (Taliban = Thick Autistic Loathsome Inbred Boring Afghastlystani Nerds). Another shameful fool, unelected one-eyed British Prime Minister Boredom Brown, then risked the necks of British soldiers to save the neck of Robohack, which resulted in the death of one soldier.

In Frit’s view, if journalists take wrong turnings in the most dangerous places on earth, nobody else should have to pay the price of saving them from the consequences of their own ambitions and follies. So Frit’s painstaking investigation concludes that the Taliban, the New York Times, shameful fool Robohack and shameful fool one-eyed Boredom Brown all pulled the trigger together. They should be charged and condemned to be stared at by Margaret Rutherford in a very knowing way for the rest of time.

Conspiracy

Frit was disgusted, but not surprised, to see that those who control TV in the western world deemed it appropriate to commemorate the 11th of September with shows about 9/11 conspiracy theories. The secret service was responsible; the builders were responsible for not providing adequate fire protection! Frit would find it difficult to condemn anyone whose relatives perished in that act of mass murder were they now to set fire to a television studio and blame the lack of insulation for the consequences.

The Rainbow Nation, where race is no longer an issue

They say that South Africa is now a more dangerous place to live than Iraq during the insurgency war. They say people had better chances of survival in Fallujah during the fighting there. They say that, in that model society created by the anti-apartheid generation of charlatans that now rule us, and where race is no longer an issue, white people are being murdered in such numbers that the non-racial government has stopped stating the color of both the murder victim and the murderer in case anybody might think that the color of people’s skin is still an issue.

Paradise

The dictionary states that “paradise” means “a place of extreme beauty, delight, or happiness“. So whenever one happens to see a TV show that consists entirely of vile wild critters crawling about in filth and slime somewhere ripping smaller vile wild critters to pieces and in turn being ripped to pieces by bigger ones, why on earth does the title always seem to include the word “paradise”? How do the minds of TV people work? How do they work?

The laughing policeman

In Britain, three men have been found guilty of conspiracy to murder by detonating explosive devices on trans-Atlantic aircraft. Are we clear that when we say, in this connection, “the proceedings have taken three years and cost an estimated £100m” we mean the sum of one hundred million pounds has been taken from the real wage earners of that country and given to policemen, solicitors and judges over a three year period merely in order to sort a group of miserable racist weirdoes the case against which was cut and dried in the first place, even to the untrained eye? And this money does not include the money paid to the educators for their past education at British schools and universities. Nor does it include the money yet to be paid to prison officers, psychiatrists, social workers and the like for bothering over their miserable, worthless lives in years to come.

Terrorism, like all forms of human endeavor, has its commercial aspects. But in a society run by Frit those commercial aspects would be kept to a very bare minimum. Vote Frit!

Taken away in a van

The New York Times tells Frit that “Van Jones resigned as the White House’s environmental jobs “czar” on Saturday, after weeks of controversy over his past comments and affiliations had slowly escalated”.

This, despite the fact that, as was pointed out elsewhere shortly before this resignation, a Nexis search revealed that the total number of words about the Van Jones controversy in the same New York Times was 0. Same results applied to the Washington Post, NBC Nightly News, ABC World News, CBS Evening News, etc. etc..

But, of course, the real issue is that only a president who is as big a joker as depicted in that now famous portrait could have given a job in government to such a clown with such a clown’s background in the first place. For this reason that individual shall be referred to as the “Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President” on this site from now on.

Making progress

When recently asked if an interrogator is allowed to rape a prisoner in order to obtain a confession, Mesbah-Yazdi, Madmood Madjihadimad’s Imam (Imam = Incredibly Malevolent Addled Mussulman) is reported to have given the following guidance:
“The necessary precaution is for the interrogator to perform a ritual washing first and say prayers while raping the prisoner. If the prisoner is female, it is permissible to rape through the vagina or anus. It is better not to have a witness present. If it is a male prisoner, then it’s acceptable for someone else to watch while the rape is committed.”

Frit believes he probably then went on to thank the President of the United States for recently paying tribute to “a great religion and its commitment to justice and progress”.

The photograph shows progress currently being made on the streets of London.

Computer warming

It has been reported to Frit's own anti global warming action group WOW (War On Warmers) that a new supercomputer installed by the UK's Meteorological Office for the purpose of "predicting climate change" (predicting it?!) produces 12,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide every year. This makes the Met Office building one of the most polluting public buildings in the UK as 75 per cent of its carbon footprint is produced by the super computer.

It has also come to the organization's attention that "climate change protesters" recently superglued themselves together in a bank that is associated with evil fossil fuel projects. Several hotheaded young WOW activists have now responded to this egotistical call for attention by supergluing their upward-pointing middle fingers to Al Gore.

The weatherman in the picture can be seen experiencing other unexpected and curious warming effects caused by the new supercomputer.

Circumnavigation beats decapitation

“A court in Utrecht yesterday becalmed the plans of a 13-year-old Dutch girl to become the youngest person to sail solo around the world. In a case which has generated worldwide debate about parental responsibility the court placed Laura Dekker under the guardianship of childcare officials for two months”, reports one mouthpiece of the mainstream media. And there are 5,044 other past month hits for “Laura Dekker” on Google News.

At the same time the placing under the guardianship of childcare officials in Florida of Rifqa Bary, a girl of similar age from Ohio who ran away from home for fear her parents might do their duty under Methodism and cut off her head with a blunt knife for having “converted” to Christianity, merits only 709 past month hits on Google News, and few of these are MSM reports. So this case has obviously generated much less “worldwide debate about parental responsibility” for some reason.

Despair

More and more people from all over the world are writing to Frit to express their feelings of despair concerning the current American government and to ask Frit to take action. One prominent member of the international scientific community, who made money working very hard for one of those evil drugs companies that spend huge amounts of money on developing new products then refuse to issue them to us free of charge, writes:

“Dear Frit,

Further to one of your recent blog postings, the following

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203706604574375012840827276.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

and the ballooning budget deficit make Obama a dangerous fool.

Plus have you seen what happened in Honduras? The leftist Chavez-allied president was ousted for trying to extend his term in defiance of the constitution but the US is inexplicably pressuring to have him restored to power.

My savings are in US dollars while the US throws away its power and security!!!”

The only way Frit can improve upon “dangerous fool” is “dangerous corrupt fool”.

Tenting

Deranged billionaire Libyan Dictator Moamer Kadhafi has kindly agreed not to pitch his tent in a New York suburb during an upcoming United Nations visit after the community, which includes dozens of families who lost loved ones in the 1988 Lockerbie bombing, made it clear that camping dictators are undesirable, however camp. Meanwhile, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King has temporarily pitched his own tent on Martha’s Vineyard where it is perfectly kosher for a person of his religion to hang out as there have never actually been any frowned upon vineyards on that island. It seems the island has been the summer retreat of many well-to-do African Americans for 200 years. Nothing tribal about that. The island is also right next door, remember, to Chappaquiddick Island, a place of pilgrimage for every right-minded revolting sexist playboy, a place where the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King might feel extra close to his friend “Teddy” at this sad time. Apart from this, of course, the waters offshore are just littered with the corpses of Kennedys. The lucky holidaymaker might have the fortune to come upon one of them mummified in salt and washed ashore on the beach. But, despite all these attractions, there are some who insist the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King is partial to Martha’s Vineyard simply because the island is home to a place called “Gay Head”. Frit has no idea what they mean to imply.

Fairground romance

Learning that a woman in the US intends marrying a fairground ride as a result of “objectum sexuality”, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects, unelected Prime Minister of Britain Boredom Brown is delighted she spotted the fairground ride before she spotted him.

Apology

Frit has been criticized by many an international leader for speaking ill of Ted Kennedy. It seems that Frit had an entirely wrong idea of multimillionaire Kennedy. He was not a self-seeking rich man at all. Instead he was “legendary”. He spent his life tirelessly working for an end to racism, for equality and social justice. UN Secretary-General Man-in-Moon, for instance, says that multimillionaire Kennedy “was not just a friend of those of power and high position, but even more to those who had neither. He was a voice for those who would otherwise go unheard, a defender of the rights and interests of the defenseless.” Frit humbly apologizes and reproduces the following “Teddy” quotes by way of proving his true worth:

“Integrity is the lifeblood of democracy. Deceit is a poison in its veins.”

“The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die.”

“Somebody should have taught the little bitch how to swim.”

Tumor refuses to carry on sharing a head with Ted Kennedy

It seems that Kennedy hastened his own death by foregoing conventional treatment, insisting he could beat the tumor simply by telling it a constant pack of lies. Worked well for him all his life. When Kennedy was dying, the tumor, drunk at the time, apparently left the scene and called a bunch of other people before calling the ambulance.

Special terrorism-era interrogation unit set up at last

Is the title intended to imply that the “terrorism-era” is over? Today, Frit posts the following statement made by Dick Cheney, a man who saved the lives of many Americans and Europeans during the terrorism-era, but regrettably many fewer lives than the current President and those around him are going to waste:

“The documents released Monday clearly demonstrate that the individuals subjected to Enhanced Interrogation Techniques provided the bulk of intelligence we gained about al Qaeda. This intelligence saved lives and prevented terrorist attacks. These detainees also, according to the documents, played a role in nearly every capture of al Qaeda members and associates since 2002. The activities of the CIA in carrying out the policies of the Bush Administration were directly responsible for defeating all efforts by al Qaeda to launch further mass casualty attacks against the United States. The people involved deserve our gratitude. They do not deserve to be the targets of political investigations or prosecutions. President Obama’s decision to allow the Justice Department to investigate and possibly prosecute CIA personnel, and his decision to remove authority for interrogation from the CIA to the White House, serves as a reminder, if any were needed, of why so many Americans have doubts about this Administration’s ability to be responsible for our nation’s security.”

You can tell that Cheney is a right-minded hero by the numbers of negative images of him that Google Images turns up when you type in his name.

Fasting

The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King has delivered his Ramadamadingdong message to the adherents of the religion that is getting so much on everybody’s nerves, but, at the same time, he is (claims to be) upset that the Libyans have made a big celebration over the homecoming of the convicted Lockerbie mass murderer released from jail in Britain by the creepy people in power there, especially as he personally requested the Libyans not to do so. He should invite Frit round for one of those beers, and then Frit could explain how the two things link up. Maybe the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King could then explain to Frit if the released convicted mass murderer is really a mass murderer. There are those who say the hectomillionaire Clintons know the truth:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8212475.stm

The Palestinian woman pictured illustrates the dangers of fasting to excess.

Art

Frit, a talented artist in his spare time, has created this masterpiece using a freeware “make your own logobama” program plus a little retouching with Microsoft Paint. Frit intends entering it for this year’s “Nancy Pelosi Organised Town Hall Tea Party Mob with People Carrying Swastikas Art Competition”.

Unhygienic faith

British policewomen have at last been issued with headscarves so they can now enter Methodist churches without offending anybody’s strange beliefs. What a relief! British swimming pools are also permitting Methodist women to wear burkinis at certain times of day, whilst, in France, a Methodist woman was quite rightly requested to leave the pool in her burkini for reasons of hygiene. British hospitals are also permitting Methodist hospital staff to cleanse their hands with a cleansing agent that is less effective against swine flu than others but contains no alcohol. This is because they wish no personal contact with either alcohol or the swine, despite the fact that the legal adviser to the Saudi ministry of justice has reassured Methodists that whoever dies of swine flu will get the reward of a martyr, and despite the fact that the Prophet Mohamed is known to have had himself rubbed down with a bottle of rum by some underage girls and boys almost every night.

Frit took this photograph of British women gathered round the pool.

Channel closed

Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton has told the world she has no intention of “channelling” her husband. Many a year has passed since she last channelled him, she says, as their ages in the photograph she issued of the event make clear.

Rabid jihadies make Zionist declaration

In Gaza, a hellhole brought into existence by joint effort on the part of the Islamic states, the UN and the western mainstream media, terror organisation Hamas spent the weekend massacring a group of fellow Palestinians who are so extreme that they regard terror organisation Hamas as a bunch of wishy-washy moderates when it comes to getting down to it and sawing off infidel heads in large numbers. This group dared to declare Gaza an “Islamic emirate”, thereby threatening the authority (income) of Hamas. Hamas astonishingly explains this massacre as a warning to “those who are behind these Israeli Zionist declarations”!!! Even more astonishing, the BBC website passes on this spellbindingly bizarre statement without a word of comment!!!

Curious recipe

Having heard that soup made from a man’s head would cure their daughter’s longstanding psychiatric problems, a couple in China got a man to beat an elderly gent unconscious and cut off his head. The couple then gave their 25-year-old daughter soup made from the man’s head, and duck. AND DUCK? Head and pheasant maybe, but head and duck?

Man-in-Moon

A “court” in popular sideshow country Myanmar has decided that heavyweight liberal icon and dinner table topic Aung San Suu Kyi Who Mostly Stays At Home For Tea must stay at home for tea for even longer. UN Secretary-General Man-in-Moon is not exactly overjoyed about the matter and calls it "profoundly disappointing“. The recent “re-election” of mad butcher Madmood Madjihadimad, on the other hand, in a country crucial to world peace, is apparently not anywhere near as “profoundly disappointing” and Man-in-Moon has therefore written him a letter of congratulation.

Too old to stop working

Those who rule Britain are saying that the state pension threshold age must be raised to seventy. Our other western democracies are sure to follow suit. This, they tell their subjects, is due to those subjects living too inconveniently long and is due to “a lack of knowledge about how to save” and to a “decline in generous company pension schemes” etc.. It has nothing, of course, to do with the fact that we are simply hard up and no longer able to afford pensions. And no fault attaches to those who’ve spent the past fifty years obtaining money, power and prestige by softening the brain of society to such an extent that all our hard-earned wealth has been allowed to seep away into the sandy desserts of the Middle East.

No gays in Iran

We see that the recent murder of same-sexers by a deranged person in a support centre for same-sexer teenagers in Tel Aviv in the evil empire of Israel makes the headline news all over whilst the daily persecution, torment and execution of same-sexers across the Methodist world (often by the entertaining method of throwing them from roofs with their hands tied behind their backs) does not. (It’s because it’s their culture, silly.)

What no pigs

A Kenyan farmer named Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor is reported to have offered Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton 40 goats and 20 cows for the hand of her daughter, Chelsea Clinton. Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton is tempted, especially as the offer includes no pigs and ought thus to be acceptable to her boss, but has nonetheless turned it down as she fears for the sexual health of the livestock if ever left alone in the house with Bill.

Frit took this photograph of Chelsea at the very moment she learned how many dumb animals somebody thought she was worth.

Joker

Frit notes with delight that the Joker poster is strangely getting really deep under the skins of those who rule us.

Out of Africa

After learning that research by geneticists and archaeologists has allowed them to trace the origins of modern homo sapiens back to a single group of around two hundred people who managed to cross from the Horn of Africa into Arabia, thence to colonise the rest of the world, Michelle Obama sees no point in her existence any more and has decided to commit suicide by reading all the works of friend Henry Louis Gates in one sitting.

It is thought that climate change between 90,000 and 70,000 years ago caused sea levels to drop dramatically so that it became possible to cross the Red Sea. Serves that tribe right for polluting their environment with too many CO2 emissions! Shame on them!

Where's Daddy?

A considerate Spanish woman believed to be the world's oldest mother after giving birth at the age of 66 has died of cancer, leaving 2-year-old twins to grow up as orphans. The doctors who provided the treatment needed to bring about those births are affronted because she told them she was “only 55”, and, as we all know, there’s nothing dim-witted and irresponsible and downright revolting about artificially inseminating a woman of only 55!

The picture shows the world’s youngest known mother, a Peruvian girl aged 5, who gave birth to a baby boy on the 14th of May 1939. In this case, the father was believed to be just some thick rapist brute instead of a team of educated doctors. Frit believes the doctors should now be invited to accept legal custody of the parentless twins.

Where's the birth certificate?

As a prominent “birther”, Frit would like to offer the following easy to understand example by way of cutting through all the obfuscation of those in the left-leaning media presently hell-bent on going after the birthers, and who thus might fairly be christened “afterbirthers”:

Suppose that, whilst driving his car down the highway tomorrow, Frit is stopped by the police and asked to show his driving license. “Sorry”, says Frit, “I don’t have it with me. But here’s a photograph of it.” The police officer is likely to be dissatisfied with this response because, as everybody knows, A PHOTOGRAPH OF A DRIVING LICENCE IS NOT A DRIVING LICENCE.
So the officer is likely to request Frit to turn up at the police station next morning to show the original licence. Instead of so doing, suppose Frit pays a substantial sum of money to lawyers to keep the driving licence concealed from view. The police, as well as every mentally normal individual on the planet, would be suspicious. Especially if Frit were to constantly insist to all and sundry that he fervently believes so much in openness and freedom of information and other shining notions. What is it about the driving licence that Frit wishes others not to see, they would say. They would still say the same were Frit to persuade an individual at the driving licence office to publicly state that Frit indeed has a driving licence. Because, as everybody knows, A STATEMENT ABOUT A DRIVING LICENCE IS NOT A DRIVING LICENCE.

A situation would thus occur where all sorts of rumours about Frit would start to circulate. Some would say Frit has no driving licence; some would say it is forged. Some would say Frit is not really one of the Frit’s at all; instead he is a Methodist with a blunt knife hidden in his burqa. Best thing Frit could do to put an end to all the speculation would be to simply show the police his driving licence. Basta!

The same is true in the case of the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King. The idea that he has no birth certificate because he was never born and came about in an entirely different way is probably farfetched. The idea that he was born in Timbuktu and is not an American is probably farfetched. But the idea that some of his parents are not who he says they are is not at all farfetched, particularly in view of his mother’s apparent appetite for large numbers of black men for reasons of ideology and size, and in view of the recent Internet photographs of her so provocatively displaying her birthday suit to all. And if his parents are not who he says they are then the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King is simply not an honest man. He is a deceiver.

When all’s said and done, not even the most ardent afterbirther could deny the striking resemblance between the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King, right, and communist pornographer Frank Marshall Davis, left (photograph taken in Hawaii at around the time of the former’s birth). Case closed.

ETA

Each day, Frit tries really hard to like his fellow man. This can be difficult. Today’s obstacle is the people who have detonated two bombs in Spain during the past few days. Most in Basque land are not interested in independence. But so what, ETA knows better. ETA stands for Egoisticas Terroristicas Arçeōles.

Serious derangement

Is it true that Madmood Madjihadimad really believes the Mahdi has been hiding at the bottom of a well somewhere down south since the 10th century, waiting to jump out at an apocalyptic moment that will mark the end of time? And is it true that he sees his primary duty here on earth as that of preparing for this event and hastening the apocalyptic moment along? Seriously creepy. We know this and we still stick to the diplomatic approach? Are we as mad as he?

Beer and smart-arsed condescension

If reports are to be believed, Sergeant James Crowly is actually intending to attend that disgraceful kiss and make up ceremony to be held at the White House Thursday evening, very much against the advice of Frit. But not so. Frit and Sergeant Crowly have actually secretly arranged between them that Sergeant Crowly will stay home and conceal himself under the bed whilst Frit, impersonating him, will be the one to attend, armed with an array of recording devices supplied by disgruntled elements of the CIA and by Frit’s own anti global warming group WOW (War On Warmers).
The plan is to turn all recording devices well away from Henry Gates at all times so as not to corrode their inner workings, and to simply record the moment when, pretending to drink beer by way of masking his true identity, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King tips the contents of his glass into the end of a tube concealed in his collar and connected direct to the mighty magic Egg of Power, a carving made by African artisans from the wood of the Monkey Pod tree, with which he so recently replaced that bust of Winston Churchill. Once inside the magic egg, the beer apparently reacts with the monkey pod wood to be pumped back up into the glass in the form of a beverage known as Raw Cane Ramadan Ramazzotti. This is consumed in quantity at every local mosque. It is alcohol-free but brimming with chemicals that make you want to cut off the head of the nearest infidel using a knife you last sharpened twenty years back. Who needs a crummy birth certificate, school records etc. once we have this deception in the can?

No offence gnome

Heard about German Health Minister Ulla Schmidt? This selfless socialist-environmentalist ex-teacher flew to Spain on vacation and then, having a couple of official engagements there, had her chauffer drive her official S-Class Mercedes the 2,387 kilometres from Berlin to ferry her to them! Then somebody stole it, so everybody found out!

Also, Hitler salutes and Nazi symbols have been illegal in Germany since the end of World War II, but prosecutors looking into the case of a Hitler saluting garden gnome exhibited by an “artist” in Nuremberg have decided not to prosecute because, they tell us, Hitler salutes are allowed if they are clearly used to counter national socialist ideology rather than used in support of it! As far as Frit can work out, this probably means that other things that are against the law in that country, such as murder, must also be deemed allowed now and again as long as the act is committed to counter somebody’s unkosher ideology and not to support it. Unkosher ideology such as Frit’s ideology, for example . . .

Angel of Reconciliation

As regards the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King inviting his rich communist blatherer “friend” Henry Gates to the White House to drink beer along with the policeman who arrested him, two problems come to mind:

a) Drinking beer is against the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King’s religion, so it will have to be camel’s milk.
b) Inviting two equally culpable parties to kiss and make up is one thing, inviting a victim to kiss and make up with a perpetrator is simply a way of deceitfully attempting to give equal status to both, i.e. bring the victim down to the level of the perpetrator.

Frit would advise the policeman concerned to stay well clear of any such trap and would request his superiors to explain exactly why Gates was set free and is not being prosecuted, as Frit would have been had he spoken about the investigating officer’s mother in that way. And, if it is true that a black officer was also on the scene at the time, then Frit also requests the American authorities to prosecute both Gates and the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King for incitement of racial hatred under race relations law and send them both off to pick cotton for the rest of their lives for no pay.

Confusing messages

Aging hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton has been talking tough to the enemies of the free world on the subject of nuclear weapons. On the other hand, in his own never ending quest to get his hands ever deeper into the pockets and the pants of the gullible and the young, unelected British Prime Minister Boredom Brown is now telling the enemies of the free world that there is no need for them to try to obtain nuclear weapons because the free world intends kindly giving up its own!

In response, representatives of nuclear North Korea appear to have called Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton an “old biddy” in public. They stopped mercifully short of the full monty, i.e. “megalomaniacal man-hating sour faced power-crazed envy-ridden uppity old biddy bitch cow tart slut hag”.

Racist arrested, second racist comes to his aid

The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King who currently rules the roost in the United States has shamefully waded in to condemn the police for arresting a “friend”, Henry Louis Gates, an “American literary critic, educator, scholar, writer, editor, and public intellectual”. Gates “currently serves as the Alphonse Fletcher University Professor at Harvard University, where he is Director of the W. E. B. Du Bois Institute for African and African American Research”. Gates claims the police arrested him simply because he is black, and not because he’s a belligerent racist with a chip on his shoulder just looking for some publicity. However, Frit is informed by insiders that the real reason they arrested him is for spending his entire life as an education system parasite, writing reams of pure incomprehensible meaningless bilge, like:

“Every black American text must confess to a complex ancestry, one high and low (that is, literary and vernacular) but also one white and black...there can be no doubt that white texts inform and influence black texts (and vice versa), so that a thoroughly integrated canon of American literature is not only politically sound, it is intellectually sound as well."

Off-colour Cherry

Doctors in Britain doubt that ailing Cherry Blair, wife of smooth spin wizard and ex Prime Minister Tony Blair, has actually contracted “swine flu”. They think it far more likely to be an entirely new strain of flu called “remember you’re just somebody’s wife flu”.

Porcini

Some are born to be leaders of men. Some are born to make important scientific discoveries, to amass large fortunes, to make history. Frit, on the other hand, appears to have been born to schlep about in the woods looking for some decent edible fungi which Mrs Frit normally finds first in any case.

Jewish Palestinians

Now that we have genetic evidence to prove that a great many Palestinians are the descendants of Jews once forced at rusty knifepoint to change their religion, why are we all still reading things like “The Jewish invaders should have more respect for the indigenous people of Palestine”?

Transplants

As regards the current debate concerning the shortage of organ donors, Frit can only say that the thought of some sons of bitches walking around using some of Frit’s organs is almost as revolting as the thought of Frit walking around using some of theirs.

Sexist bigot uses women as “window dressing”

As we all know, nothing is more dear to the heart of the British Labour Party than the rights of the three W’s, i.e. Women, Warmers and Woofters. So great is that party’s dedication to these groups that its ultimate ambition is to turn every single one of us into all three. How strange then, that Labour Party wenches are apparently upset that unelected Prime Minister of the UK (United Kaliphate) Boredom Brown has created a government that is "really rather laddish in its culture". It seems that women are finding themselves in a minority in a politically incorrect chauvinist cabinet and are thus afforded fewer expense account fiddling opportunities than men. Shame on you Brown!

Divorce

The following e-mail is being circulated with a request to the likeminded to post it on their blogs, which Frit is only too happy to do.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’ Donnell (you are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.

We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. WallLaw Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

Milking history

The multimillionaire White Mohammedan King has been making an “emotional” visit to the continent of his birth, along with his simpleminded wife. They visited an old fortress in Ghana where the slave trade was conducted in the past and where photo-ops abound. They stayed well clear of the Sudan and other areas where the slave trade is still very much an issue of the present and where life is a bit too complicated to boil down into the straightforward vote catching emotive.

The two large upward pointing cannons seen on the shoreline were once intended for lobbing Africans over to Mississippi but the slave trade ended before they came on stream.

Urbi et Orbi

Pope Benedict XVI, the tiniest Pope ever to wave a red rag at a papal bull, has criticized the international economic system and called for a new global structure based on social responsibility, concern for the dignity of the worker and a respect for ethics. How about an international economic system based on selling indulgencies? In other words preserving the dignity of “the worker” by charging him money for forgiving his past and future sins or even the past sins of any dead people he might know? Worked well for the economy of the Catholic Church in the past.

The gratuitous ‘B’ word rides again

The BBC tells Frit that “Silvio Berlusconi, Italy's billionaire prime minister, is throwing a party this week for leaders of the world's other seven most powerful industrial nations”.
Frit reads that King Fahd Bin Abdul Aziz Alsaud of Saudi Arabia, recent recipient of that hideous curtsey, is top on the Forbes magazine list of billionaire “Kings, Queens and Despots”. Is it true that Fidel Castro is apparently worth $900 million and ranked seventh on that list? Is it true that Yasser Arafat was on that list too? Must be a lie, otherwise searching the BBC website for “Castro” and “billionaire” and “Arafat” and “billionaire” would come up with more than one hit each, unlike the three pages of hits you get if you enter “Berlusconi” and “billionaire”.

“The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other, milk.”

David Flunkit, onetime British Education Secretary, Home Secretary as well as Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, has had the misfortune to be attacked by an irate cow whilst out walking. Flunkit, who was twice forced to resign office, once for inappropriate fiddling and once for inappropriate diddling, claims to have fewer eyes than even his fellow labour party buddy Boredom Brown. However, there are those who dispute his total blindness and suspect he makes the claim merely to pocket the associated state benefits. If he is truly sightless, they say, how come he so successfully manages to accurately pinpoint the whereabouts of so much buckshee cash and cunt. Flunkit suffered a broken rib in the attack. It is widely believed that Flunkit, removed from the realities of nature like so many of his particular political persuasion, is too stupid to know that wise people should never go near cows and their young calves accompanied by their dog, even if it happens to be a guide dog. Cattle can be pretty politically incorrect on that score.

But there is also a different version of this story. Frit is told by reliable sources that the cow merely mistook Flunkit for a wittering old woman it wanted to jump over, as the photograph of the event appears to confirm.

Most stylish man

Unelected British Prime Minister Boredom Brown has no problem about attending this year’s G-8 summit to be held in the part of central Italy so recently devastated by an earthquake as he is quite used to standing on shaky ground. Likewise, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King is delighted to attend as it gives him opportunity to ask the earthquake for forgiveness. Also, a poll of 3,000 men has named him the “most stylish man”. Good thing really, he must try to keep up with his stylish wife.

What century did we say we are in right now?

“The Pope has placed Cardinal John Henry Newman on the path to possible sainthood by approving a miracle attributed to his intercession. Newman, an influential 19th-century Anglican convert, can now be beatified. A second miracle is necessary for him to be declared a saint – making him the first English-born saint since the Reformation. The miracle approved yesterday by Pope Benedict XVI concerns the medically inexplicable cure of an American, John Sullivan, who suffered from debilitating back pain for years, but was cured after praying to Cardinal Newman.”

Meanwhile, the team of doctors who recently restored a man’s sight by inserting a lens into one of his front teeth, growing the tooth on for a while in one of his cheeks and then transplanting it into his eyeball are not being considered for sainthood. This is because they achieved it all by resorting to verifiable and reproducible scientific method instead of “medically inexplicable” method.

Profit Mohammed

Yesterday, Frit learned from reliable sources of the huge sums of money stashed away in the private European bank accounts of the bearded holy men who run Iran, from the Supreme Leader down, even including the account numbers. Huge as these sums are, they are said to be paltry in comparison to the vast amounts each beard has tucked away in banks in other, non-Christian countries. If true, this makes a mockery of the entire pious Islamic Republic concept, so where is this staggering revelation reported or even investigated in the western media today?

Child molester bites dust, media opts for deification instead of condemnation

Michael Jackson has left us to struggle on without him. To Jackson, it mattered not if he was “Black Or White”, but that didn’t stop him from being the first person ever to start life as a young black Christian boy and end it as an old white Muslim woman. There have been better grades of American Jacksons down the years. Even a better Michael Jackson who came up with a useful printing process innovation and sustained an injury at the Battle of Bunker Hill. As far as Frit knows, this individual never rogered a single child in his life, let alone bred any for that specific purpose. The painting also features a better grade of famous Jackson, Stonewall Jackson, and is entitled “Jackson is with you”, which this latest one no longer is. May his memory quickly fade.

Intolerable intolerance

Frit reads that, in the UK, the Equalities and Human Rights Commission has ordered the British National Party (lefty nationalists that those who rule us like to portray as right wing) to cease prohibiting non-whites from joining the party, prohibiting them from taking jobs at the party and from failing to provide equal services to constituents based on the colour of their skin. In other words this party is not allowed to stand for what it stands for and it will be taken to court and financially ruined and people will be put in prison and the world will be well again. Frit wonders if the Equalities and Human Rights Commission will now be writing to any Methodist organisations, businesses, associations etc. making similar demands.

Ginger whinger

The two princes of the politically correct UK (United Kaliphate) have appeared on video with one making a remark about the other’s baldness and the other countering with a remark about the other‘s gingerness. A prize global warmer, busybody and founder of a charity named “Act Against Bullying” has thus gone to the trouble of informing the nation that the remark about gingerness “is risky and could be taken out of context by children”. The remark about baldness drew no comment from this ginger headed botherer, whereas Frit, bald as a coot himself, is very upset by it.

The simpering ginger schoolmarm in question, Louise Burpit-Cons, can be seen wittering on about “World Kindness” (but not for bald people) at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5RBbT2DzyM&feature=channel_page

Revolution

In Tehran, people are standing on their roofs at night chanting “Allahu Akbar, death to the dictator”, meaning Madmood Madjihaddymad.

30 years ago in Tehran, people stood on their roofs at night chanting “Allahu Akbar, death to the dictator”, meaning the Shah.

Kind compassionate liberal slaughters fly in cold blood

The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King swatted a fly to death in full view of all his spellbound minions, then joked about it, called the fly a “sucker” and had the camera move close up on it. Quite an Abu Ghraibesque moment. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), an organisation that recently spent 9,370.00 dollars on a walk-in freezer in which to store the corpses of all the dogs it kills (that’s 9,370.00 dollars of the money collected from the gullible and the young to find the same dogs new homes), is not amused. It wants him to take a more compassionate attitude the next time he’s bothered by a fly at the White House. However, those mesmerised souls who feed us the news choose not to speculate as to why such a kind and considerate liberal would so carelessly reveal the vile butcher lurking within in front of the entire nation in that way. Instead they opt to denigrate flies for being “irritating” and for “contaminating food” and to praise the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King for his coordination, accuracy and speed. Watching the video again, Frit is not so sure, his movements look more like straightforward involuntary reflex reactions once he’d noticed the fly in question was a Christian fly.

The picture shows other flies flocking to the funeral of their fallen comrade.

Stop and search

Is it true that British police are stopping and searching thousands of obviously innocent white people under counter-terrorism powers simply to provide a racial balance in official statistics? Yes, it is true. It is depressingly true. It is a depressingly true cowardly and manipulative frightening lie. It is now time for everyone above the rank of sergeant to be dismissed from the British police force and removed from the public payroll.

Please don’t mention the family tree, unless it’s the Bush family tree

In the USA, the mesmerised have renamed another street after you know who. The street used to be 40th Avenue in West Park (Hollywood Florida subdivision), but now it's officially called Barack Obama Boulevard. Why not Barack Hussein Obama Boulevard? Why not Barry Soetoro Boulevard? Why not Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King Concourse Leading Straight To Mecca?

Meanwhile, a Republican is in trouble for implying that Michelle descended from a gorilla whereas it’s far more likely that gorillas descended from Michelle.

Pirate Party

Whilst it is depressing to see that parochial national socialist dross dressed in right wing clothing, such as the British BNP party, gained ground in the European elections, it is encouraging to see that true parties of the right, such as the Dutch Party for Freedom, also made headway. However, the elections also served to highlight the inbuilt Achilles heel of democracy in that some 9 % of the electorate in Sweden, i.e. juvenile nitwits, voted for the Pirate Party, the sole aim of which is to alter the patent and copyright laws to the detriment of the creative in order to provide free music, films and video games. Screw economic and foreign policy; just give us something for nothing. Frit is now thinking of campaigning to allow five-year-olds to vote, whereupon he intends to found the Pirate Theme Birthday Party party to get a seat in the European Parliament himself.

Crystal balls

Political correctness is reaching dizzy heights in Britain. The Red Cross is to stop using the red cross symbol as it offends Methodists, reminding them of the crusades. It is to be replaced by the red crystal irrespective of the fact that the red crystal symbol reminds Frit, and many others, of the loathsome invasion of the giant red crystal shrimps back in 1227. Also, the British ambassador to Poland has been criticised by Polish officials for supporting a march planned by ‘gay rights’ groups. The ambassador said he was simply acting in line with Foreign Office policy, which calls on staff to push ‘gay rights’ when representing the UK abroad. Does this mean the staff are pushing the same gay rights with equal vigour when representing the UK in Riyadh?

Cut down to size

Having heard that "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" (Matthew 19:24), the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King and his family have been spotted in the eye of the needle frantically attempting to wave their camel through.

Tedious unelected money printer comes to grief on Obama Beach

People are saying that unelected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Boredom Brown, the first ever holder of that office to allow his cabinet ministers to appoint themselves as long as they keep him on as leader, suffered one of his irritating and deeply unattractive spasms of the mouthparts right in the middle of his recent D-Day speech, causing him to make a painfully revealing Freudian slip – “Obama Beach” instead of “Omaha Beach”. They say Obama Beach is the beautiful place where, in his fantasies, Brown and his not so brown hero skip along in the sunshine together, hand in hand, with bare torsos and equal popularity figures, off into the bright new socialist-Islamist future where there is no recession and no expense accounts and where even the one-eyed are considered equal.

However, after careful analysis of the actual tape using voice analysis software, Frit is convinced this was no slip of the tongue at all. Instead, Brown was thinking of the recent episode when Michele Obama was in London and refused to sit next to him at dinner in case his glass eye fell out onto her plate. Brown is still vexed about this issue and is known to mumble about it under his breath, in Scottish, all the time. Thus his words were not about paying tribute “next to Obama Beach” at all, but rather about not having been allowed to sit “next to that Obama bitch”.

The wonderful light

Have we all had enough of gabbering arty poltroons on TV talking about the “wonderful light” of a specific place? Cornwall has uniquely wonderful light, apparently, as has Tuscany. The state of Maine has it too. So do Australia and New Mexico. There’s a lot of it about. The picture shows mere fabulous light, which is quite different and more rare.

Brown fish

Frit reads that, according to fishmongers, a type of fish, the dab, which fell out of favour with diners in Britain because it is “unpleasant tasting” is now making a comeback as it is cheap and all the British people can now afford, thanks to the efforts of unelected Prime Minister of Britain Boredom Brown. Curiously, the dab is described as a “small brown fish”, and, looking at this picture, Frit could swear it sports but a single eye. Meanwhile, after revelations that North Korea’s unsavoury leader Kim Jong-il eats live fish, it is rumoured that Brown is now thinking of seeking refuge from the electorate and the expense account police in that country, safe in the knowledge that many have mistaken him for a one-eyed fish down the years, but never for a live one.

Royal Navy sets pirates free to commit further acts of piracy to be paid for by insurance companies/consumer

Last week, the British Royal Navy captured a bunch of Somali pirates, deprived them of their weapons, made them a cup of tea and sent them off home. The lily-livered rules of engagement state that pirates may only be apprehended if caught in the act of attacking a vessel. Being in a gang of cutthroats cruising the high seas in a speedboat armed to the teeth with machineguns and rocket launchers is simply no grounds for apprehending any disgraceful murdering son of a bitch.

Goodbye America

After the Multimillionaire White African King’s performance yesterday in Egypt, Frit has decided to refer to him on this site as the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King from now on.

Short speech

Today is the day the Multimillionaire White African King is set to deliver his much vaunted and much anticipated big speech to the Arab world in Egypt. By dubious means, and at substantial expense, Frit has managed to obtain an advance copy of this speech. It is very short and to the point. It reads simply “Allahu Akbar, off with the infidel’s head”. Brief it might be but he’ll still be using a teleprompter to deliver it.

Laughing pig resigns office

Disgraceful corrupt deceitful wishy-washy Jacqui Smith, British Home Secretary, is at long last resigning. She is not resigning for reasons of honour, having been caught red handed with her nose deeply buried in the public trough. She is resigning because she has no choice. She is retiring to a pig farm. There are many who hope she chooses one in Egypt.

Marbles with Cyclops

Leafing through some dusty old papers recently, Frit learned that, when at school, unelected Prime Minster of Britain and expenses account fiddler Boredom Brown won a large marble from another boy in a game. As this was Brown’s only win in life, he was very fond of the marble and always slept with it beneath his pillow. Later on, when he poked out one of his own eyes with a stick in a fit of self loathing, he replaced it with his favourite old marble, and has worn it to this day. Of course, as has been recently discovered in the expenses account scandal, this didn’t stop him from charging the British taxpayer for dozens of very expensive new glass eyes per week, glass eyes that were never in fact purchased, and certainly not purchased from his brother. But, despite this revelation, despite the similar revelations concerning the rest of his government and despite the fact that support for his party has apparently fallen to less than 20%, with the British population overwhelmingly demanding immediate elections, Brown, after careful consideration, has decided not to stand down. His dedication to democracy, to the wishes of others and the needs of the country is too great!

Frit tracked down the three Scots lads pictured. They never let Brown play marbles with them. They claim he always cheated. Nor could they keep a straight face when confronted with those curious spasms of his mouthparts.

Shock jock sues pig

Nice to know Michael Savage is going ahead and suing the human pig who currently holds the office of British Home Secretary, and who placed his name on a list of undesirable murderers and mad people a short while ago. He wants a public apology plus substantial damages. Frit hears that, in turn, the Home Secretary is thinking of suing the Prophet Mohammed for including her on a list of banned meats.

The photograph shows the Home Secretary’s husband riding her to work.

Mohamed Atta was a pansy

Surely all who chance to see the glorification video made by Mohamed Atta and one of the other bright sparks who destroyed the World Trade Centre, slaughtering all within, must know they are looking at two lonely boys wanting nothing other than to get their hands inside each other’s pants. Unable to deal with this, being the products of societies where such acts are punishable by death, they went out and did something they thought really manly instead.

There appear to be two alternative spellings for the terrorist organisation that represents their religion: ‘Al-Qaeda’, which is short for Arabs Like Queers And Eat Dead Animals, and ‘Al-Kaida’, which is short for Arabs Love Killing Any Infidel Dumb Ass.

Slick essence

How nice of the Multimillionaire White African King to inform us that Guantanamo inmates “may be dangerous, in which case we can't release them”. How nice of him to kindly explain that deciding how to deal with them is going to be one of the “biggest problems” with closing Guantanamo. "It's a messy situation. It's not easy," he kindly informs us. Really? Really? We thought it was a straightforward situation. We thought it was easy. We really did. We thought it was only difficult for George Bush, who said “I'd like to close Guantanamo, but I also recognize that we're holding some people there that are darn dangerous”. But then George Bush is just a fool, of course. Around a year ago, for example, the Multimillionaire White African King told gullible and young voters that the Guantanamo issue is about “the essence of who we are”, whereas George Bush could only manage “No question, Guantanamo sends a signal to some of our friends — provides an excuse, for example, to say the United States is not upholding the values that they're trying to encourage other countries to adhere to”.

In essence, the difference between Democrats and Republicans is very evident in the statements “may be dangerous” and “are darn dangerous”. Democrats are so much more conditional and polite, aren’t they. That’s what makes them so likeable.

Legal profession guilty of bringing down civilisation

Three British judges have ruled that British soldiers are “covered by the right to life”. Soldiers should receive the full protection of the Human Rights Act even when they are on the battlefield, they say. Judges in other countries are sure to follow suit. This means that every family of a dead soldier is going to go to court to obtain compensation (money). This means it is no longer possible to run an army, to fight a war, i.e. the end of civilisation’s ability to defend itself. Democracy is now set for its inevitable downfall due to its fatal inbuilt flaw, i.e. equal voting rights given to the gullible, the young, the greedy, the hapless and other groups whose shortcomings leave them vulnerable to the manipulations of the leftist professional classes, ever eager to sink their teeth into as much money, power and prestige as a constant show of sham self-righteousness can bring in. Judges are typical and representative of this class, and perhaps its most insidious element.

Of course, anyone knows that, were the law written in stone, computers could dispense justice and we would need no judges. The fact that it is not written in stone means that it is always a matter of the interpretation, opinion and prejudice of the judge. So whenever judges excuse their destructive decisions on the basis that “the law is the law”, they are always telling a whopping lie for their own career prospects and their own financial gain. Stuff civilisation!

Hectomillionaire lands big UN job

The UN is once more handing out jobs to its own. This time hectomillionaire Bill Clinton is to be UN Special Envoy to Haiti. Frit thought Donald Rumsfeld might be given that job. Bill says he’s delighted. Apparently, no direct salary is paid to special envoys. All the money, power and prestige accumulate indirectly. The Haitians themselves are probably not so delighted as they already have sufficient numbers of crooks around to diddle their junior staff and sweet-talk their way out of it. They also have sufficient numbers of aids cases already.

In the picture, two Haitians can be seen in voodoo garb, casting a spell to keep Bill’s hands out of their purses and their pants.

Thank God for interreligious dialogue

The German federal state of Hessen is trying to award the Hessian Culture Prize for Interreligious Dialogue to those deemed to have been doing really good work in that field. Two Christians were chosen, a Jew was chosen and an individual representing that other religion that is really beginning to get so much on everybody’s nerves was chosen. But the individual representing the religion that is really beginning to get so much on everybody’s nerves, and who has done such wonders for interreligious dialogue over the years, apparently, declined to accept the prize as it would have meant him having to share a podium with a Jew! Another individual representing that same religion was then chosen, but the two Christians then protested on grounds that this individual has been known to utter negative statements concerning the symbol of the cross. So nobody representing the religion that is really beginning to get so much on everybody’s nerves is receiving one of the prizes this year. Hey ho . . .

Papal Palestinian Pandering Pilgrimage

The pope, the biggest little catholic alive, has been seen wearing a Keffiyah that really didn’t go with the particular model of burka he had on at the time. Also, Keffiyah is an ancient Methodist word derived from Keffi, meaning “scarf”, and Yah, meaning “I’ll cut off your f!!k!!g head if you don’t submit to Methodist supremacy and wear one of these scarves you infidel rotter”. So this choice of fashion accessory appears inappropriate. He must say three Hail Maries, pirouette a couple of times and pray for forgiveness from his predecessor, Pope John Pole, the all-time greatest Pope ever, who indecently suffered for us all so much on camera that we couldn’t wait to see the back of him.

The picture shows the diminutive pope, in his new Keffiyah, riding off to Jerusalem on his recent crusade.

Government of Myanmar arrests most selfless woman alive

This week, saintly Nobel Laureate and heavyweight liberal media money-spinner Aung San Suu Kyi Who Mostly Stays At Home For Tea will be dining elsewhere.

In this recent portrait, the saint in question is depicted wearing some of her many spare haloes stacked up round her neck for convenient storage.

Feminist movement picky about where to apply muscle

Frit notes that, in Sweden, it is now okay for adherents of a certain religion to abort female foetuses at will. So where is the outcry from the feminist movement? Over at the UN Women’s Watch site, for instance, the mighty United Nations Inter-Agency Network on Women and Gender Equality has a very great deal to say about “incorporating gender equality issues into urban development policies”, and about “women’s voices being raised by the Global Gender Climate Alliance at the climate talks in Bonn”, and about many similarly weighty issues, but has not a word to say about killing the women of the future, in Europe, for reasons of sheer prejudice and financial gain. Almost makes you think that people at the United Nations Inter-Agency Network on Women and Gender Equality are just in it for the money, power and prestige.

Dog eats dog

Is there anything more revolting than watching dog eating dog on TV? It happened in the UK, when one of the dogs who rule over us bit one of the bitches that rule over us and feed us the news as she quizzed him on the current MPs' expenses fiddling scandal, asking her how much licence fee money she pockets for her important work. He demanded “freedom of information”. “92,000 pounds”, she admitted, without shame. That is more than the 64,766 pounds paid to MPs, the dog replied, skilfully not mentioning the much larger sums paid to Fiddler in Chief Boredom Brown and his gang of expert fiddling cabinet ministers. “I don't even make a personal phone call from the BBC, as I understand what public sector money is about”, the bitch shamefully then lied.

Yes, good to see dog eating dog in this way, but it is a rare event. Both live from each other and they know it. As Frit has often pointed out in previous posts, he believes it the primary duty of every right-leaning person to ask each and every left-leaning person to show us their bank statements every time they open their mouths in public. It is the only way they can be exposed. It is the only way they can be stopped. There is no shame in earning money, there is only shame in earning money from preaching to the gullible and the young that there's shame in earning it.

Dog can be seen eating dog at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6AnZLm2Zvg

The religion of science

After reading that, in Britain, a Methodist chef is claiming big money from the British taxpayer on grounds that his employer wanted him to handle pork (because he’s a chef) and handling pork is against his religion, and after reading that the Halal Food Authority, no less, states that "An animal should not be dead prior to slaughter", Frit is heading for Saudi Arabia. The intention is to seek employment in an abattoir and sue the pants off anybody who expects him not to kill anything that’s already dead, on grounds of this being against Frit’s religion, i.e. making sense. The Saudi taxpayer can jolly well cough up.

But reading further down the Halal Food Authority’s page this plan goes awry as it seems that slaughtering may only be carried out by an actual proper Methodist. Non-Methodists are simply unfit for it, although they are kindly allowed to perform downstream abattoir tasks such as skinning and gutting, packaging, transporting and so forth. Nothing racist about that. The Halal Food Authority also tells Frit that Methodism "Is a religion of science, a science which without laboratory testing gave us a covenant that blood is not allowed to be consumed and its raw form could be a hazard and an imperilment to human health. Centuries later, we have the affirmation from Mister Scientist that it is harmful for humankind!" They are so damned scientific. So many light-years ahead of us. So damned smart!

Mandatory Volunteerism

In a recent post concerning the subject of slavery, Frit noted that the present incumbent of the White House might well be ironically instrumental in reintroducing it. Nowadays it’s called “mandatory volunteerism”. The difference between mandatory volunteerism and old style American slavery is that, under mandatory volunteerism, whites and blacks both get to pick the cotton for nothing side by side. Then, in the evenings, both get to serve together in the Ku Klux Klan.

Saintly and selfless people on the fiddle

Unelected Prime Minister of Britain Boredom Brown and his team of British labour government spongers have lately been caught fiddling their expenses to such good effect that their poll ratings have hit bottom and it looks very much like we shall see the back of them soon. Irish lefty terrorists Adams and McGuiness are embroiled in it in a big way, too, and Palestinian passport holder hero George Galloway has been revealed as the biggest fiddler of all.
The defence of all these assorted dishonourable individuals is to say that others, such as Frit, fiddle their expenses too. This argument doesn’t wash because the difference is that Frit is not a saint. Frit will readily tell anybody, right upfront, that he’ll fiddle the hell out of any expenses account anyone is fool enough to put him on, as effectively and consistently as he possibly can, because that’s what you do with expenses, whereas Boredom Brown and the rest of the sanctimonious selfless crew spend all their time hoodwinking the gullible and the young into thinking they do otherwise.

Savage conspiracy

Frit notes that, to silence an individual it doesn’t agree with, the European Parliment has had to change its rules. The original rules mistakenly stated that the “oldest serving member of parliament” should make the opening speech of the new session and not that the “oldest serving member of parliament whose views you agree with” should make it. This has now been duly corrected to the benefit of all.

Meanwhile, the banning of Michael Savage from the Islamo-Feminist-Samesexer Land of Hope and Glory, Mother of the Free, a similar instance, is causing Frit to doubt some of what he himself wrote in the right-hand column of this blog a long time ago. This implies that the global takeover and control of all aspects of information and society by one self-seeking group of assorted liberal professionals is an organic, almost unintentional process, stemming from the fact that those who make up this group simply share a common brain and thus a common agenda and therefore have no need to conspire out loud or in writing, as it were, to achieve it. However, putting Michael Savage on a list of true unsavouries and banning him from entering a European country that he had no intention of visiting makes the entire thing start to appear more like a very conscious, deliberate, orchestrated, carefully coordinated and planned sinister international conspiracy. Sources tell Frit that he might well be next to be deprived of opportunity to pig out on fish and chips whilst treading streets paved with gum and dog shit in that once green and pleasant land. As might we all.

Hope to no avail

When recently giving evidence in Washington to the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton said the situation in Pakistan "poses a mortal threat to the security and safety of our country and the world". She dares to kindly point this out to us, and those who feed us the news dare to report it as a revelation, when she, and they, and the White African King and every other single one of those who rule us campaigned so relentlessly for so long to bring down the Musharaf government, made up of soldiers in uniforms (shudder), which struggled so valiantly for so long to keep the lid on that dangerously over-procreating and nuclear armed country. When that government was finally brought down, the BBC, mouthpiece of the British wing of those who rule us and who earn so well from screwing civilisation, famously commented that “The hope is a return to democracy will help calm the situation”.

Stand up, stand up for Jesus

Have we all seen the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbPrIixvzv8 showing the mainstream press heroes jumping to their feet for the entrance of the Multimillionaire White African King, then being given permission to sit? Are we all sickened and unbelieving? In the view of Frit and Mrs Frit, in the past, if you wanted to be a voluntarily mesmerised dishonest biased lying arse licker sheep intent on earning money from perverting the causes of truth, you had to try to disguise it from others somehow. Times must have changed.

Short history of slavery

The following is a short history of slavery produced for the benefit of the wife of the Multimillionaire White African King and others who lack an understanding of history due to blinkered prejudice.

1. Slavery began right back in caveman times when the two or three biggest cavemen in the tribe bullied the other cavemen into doing the work.
2. The same principle went on to apply in early civilisations where anyone able to get together a decent collection of bruisers with swords lorded it over the rest.
3. With the advent of trade, slaves began to have an economic value. They could be bought and sold and thus became a currency in themselves.
4. In the fifteenth century, when Europeans started the westward trade in African slaves, they purchased them at the local market because almost everybody in the whole of Africa was a slave at that time. So was almost everyone in Europe, in one way or another.
5. In the sixteenth century, Oliver Cromwell exported Irish people and gypsies over the Atlantic as slaves. There are records of freed black slaves in the West Indies and Louisiana owning British gypsies. It “was not unknown” for Scottish clan chiefs to sell off some of their own clan folk into “indenture” in America whenever they felt hard up.
6. In the late nineteenth century, after having grown up in the workhouse, a place where illegitimate children and the destitute were forced to work for nothing at that time, Henry Morton Stanley crossed darkest Africa from west to east. He made the journey in the company of a man who already knew his way around in darkest Africa because he had been there many times in the course of his time-honoured business obtaining slaves for export eastward to the Arab markets.
7. Slavery was officially outlawed in Saudi Arabia in the nineteen sixties, although it is true to say that women there still have the status of property today.

Slavery is not something white people did to Africans who were living very nice lives in paradise before that thank you. Slavery has been an established institution throughout the whole of history, the fundamental basis of the human socio-economic system and the driving force behind the organisation and progress of civilisation. At the moment outright slavery is absent in most of the world. But it will be back. Ironically, the present occupants of the White House might well be the ones most instrumental in heading us in that direction.

The photograph shows Simon Aban Deng, a refugee from Sudan, who, as a child, spent several years as a domestic slave. Real life is a little more complicated, Michelle.

Gross contradiction

Yesterday, when sentencing two thick jihadis for attending Taleban terrorist training camps, British judge Mr Justice Gross said they had betrayed the country that had given them a home. He said the sentence had to deter other Britons from attending such camps. He said that if it is not already clear it must be made clear that such conduct is unacceptable. Most importantly, he said that unless and until they both saw the world in very different terms there is “a very real likelihood of them reoffending in the future”.

He then sentenced the two to seven years’ jail with them likely to be freed to reoffend in a year and four months, having already been in jail for two years.

In Frit’s opinion, Mr Justice Gross should be put on trial for committing gross contradictionism at taxpayer expense.

The fear of fat

The fear of death from fat amongst those who rule us is truly widespread and has now led to a situation where emaciation has become the true badge of belonging. Something akin to the secret sign of the freemasons, emaciation is the way in which our rulers identify one another across the street. TV journalists, in particular, appear to be wasting away before our very eyes, and, as for the Multimillionaire White African King, well, what can one say? It is rumoured he spends one and a half hours in the gym each day to keep himself looking so wan and wasted. Can it be that his security people insist he be less than the thickness of a bullet? Can it be that he has an eating disorder as a direct result of fearing that another ounce might undo him when walking on water? Can it be that his wife just won’t cook him any damned thing?

Frit is concerned for his welfare and recommends lardo served with garlic, cream, and some nice red wine. Or perhaps white wine, to go with his colour. He can certainly afford a good bottle. Championing the poor and disadvantaged has already filled his coffers so well.

The pictures show him as a boy and as he is now, a mere shadow of himself.

The banning of the words

Frit notes that the CAIR organisation (Council on American-Islamic Relations, or Cuddly Allah’s Islamic Racists, some say), has issued the American government with a list of 10 words/concepts that it recomends are not used in connection with its religion, as using them might cause us all to be butchered. These words are:

The Clash of Civilizations
Secular
Assimilation
Reformation
Jihadi
Moderate
Interfaith
Freedom
Religious Freedom
Tolerance

In Frit’s view, we can only avoid The Clash of Civilizations if every jihadi loonatic soon learns to respect tolerance, freedom and religious freedom in secular, interfaith societies by becoming more moderate and by accepting assimilation through a process of reformation.

Piggy flu

Multimillionaire White African King Obama’s strategy for defending the American people from the new strain of swine flu virus is to apologise to it and offer it respect. And, as human cases normally only occur in those who have close contact with pigs, most of the British cabinet is refusing to sit round the table with Home Secretary Jacqui Smith this week.

UN bounders smell cash in seeking to “investigate Bush officials” over treatment of terrorists

Frit accuses two “senior UN officials”, Manfred Novak and Martin Scheinin, of torture, by making it impossible for people to tell them apart. Which has the prettiest big hairdo? Which wears his specs at the jauntiest angle? Which looks better against a pale blue background? Which has the eyes that can get him into the pockets and the pants of the gullible and the young the fastest? Impossible to tell. Most of those tortured by these questions eventually go mad and end up waterboarding themselves before jumping off the top of the UN building. Both men should be investigated and exposed. Their bank statements should be made public; their real ages should be published to see if they tally with such surprising lack of hair loss.

The age of piracy

Instead of being forced to walk the plank, a Somali pirate has been taken all the way to the USA, at taxpayer expense, to be fed and watered and put on trial at taxpayer expense and defended at taxpayer expense, despite the fact that the entire world already knows he is guilty. The first issue the American legal system will be feeding from for a very long time is the disputed age of the pirate concerned. Be he adult he can be treated as a pirate in need of his just deserts, i.e. a jolly good telling off, probably, and a reminder that pirates appear only in stories. Be he teenaged he must be treated as a wholesome good person whose education has been insufficient and whom copious input of further taxpayer money is sure to redeem.

Sadly, in the real world, teenaged male thugs with weapons are, and have always been, the greatest menace civilisation can possibly ever face. Old enough to kill people and wreck civilisation means old enough to die.

Racist given big platform

Frit notes that Bonky Loon, biggest cheese at the United Nations, having organised an anti racism conference and having invited the biggest racist in the world, i.e. Methodist supremacist madman mad Madmood Madjihadymad, to speak at it, is now whining because a lot of racist hate speech was forthcoming. Fit notes that Bonky Loon has not resigned his office, neither has he called an immediate end to this entire expensive liberal bonding session. Frit also notes that no self-important moral liberal legal institution has issued an international warrant for the arrest of mad Madmood Madjihadymad for spouting hate on every television set in the world, or for any other of his conscientious contributions to bringing about the third world war.

Interrogators graciously let ‘off the hook’

Dick Cheney tells the terrorists that protecting the country’s security is “a tough, mean, dirty, nasty business.”

The present incumbent of the White House tells the terrorists that interrogation tactics adopted by the former administration “undermine our moral authority and do not make us safer”.

Questions:

Which statement do the college professors get most encouragement from?

Which statement do the terrorists get most encouragement from?

International pirate milking scam

The legal profession is at last setting up an International Pirate Milking Court. The initiative is being headed by the Multimillionaire White African President himself (who took 2.8 million dollars off the poor and stupid on book sales alone, last year). The opportunity to earn big money from drawn out proceedings against teenage lowlife delinquents who everybody in the world knows are guilty (because they are caught in the act in canoes with machineguns 500 miles offshore) was just too promising to miss. One bullet per unpleasant thug might be the preferred option of the taxpayer, but who would that keep in clover for goodness’ sake?

How much was that doggy in the window in any case?

It seems the origins of ‘Bo’ the water dog puppy are shrouded in mystery. During the election campaign the world was told that, when Barry became President Barry, the family would adopt a poor, sad, downtrodden abandoned mutt from a dog’s home rather than go out and buy one for money from a super pedigree pooch breeder like trashy rich conservatives would. But was this election promise broken?

Nobody seems to know. The dog’s birth certificate seems to have disappeared, just like Barry’s. Some say the dog was born in Kenya and not in Hawaii, as claimed, and is therefore not a true American dog and has no place gnawing bones in the White House. Some say the dog’s real father is Ted Kennedy. Others say the real father is a Kenyan animal extensively used for breeding purposes in Kenya until run over by a car in 1982. Samson, one of this dog’s many male offspring, and Bo’s brother, is a well-known sexual pervert. Recently, on his way to America to enjoy the big ceremony that was held to mark Bo’s entry into the White House, during which Bo yapped a false note and was made to yap it again in private the next day, Samson was refused entry to Britain for previously having attempted to roger a passing underage water dog puppy girl on an earlier visit to that country.

This fact was considered unfit for public consumption at the time and has only now been revealed, though with much less enthusiasm and accompanying comment than would have been the case were Bo a vicious conservative mutt instead of a friendly, cute, cuddly liberal mutt. The Bo in the picture is quite another Bo, but one that appears equally fond of being wet.

Navy scuppers pirates, White House tries to walk off with the swag

The absurd plan to rescue Capt. Richard Phillips revealed exclusively by Frit on this site yesterday (i.e. having a pet water dog puppy swim over to lick the chops of the pirates until they all say “Ahhhh he’s so cute” and surrender) went badly awry later in the day when the on-scene commander took advantage of a loophole in his orders to fire off a full broadside, sending every one of those murderous cutthroats to a well deserved watery grave.

We shall all expect the White House to be claiming the credit for this successful action, but we know better. The orders from the top were rubbish orders, “only if” orders. The on-scene commander is the hero for interpreting the orders with flexibility. He let us down only in having not forced the one captured pirate to walk the plank at once, before the legal profession has opportunity to start eating big dinners from him.

Their “first puppy”

The familly that now infests the White House, the children of which are never used for publicity purposes, has now at last chosen which particular breed of dog is to soil the lawns on its behalf (but not the lawn they dug up for Michelle to have slaves grow vegetables in). A Portuguese water dog, no less, formerly used to herd fish into nets around the coasts of Portugal. The official version is that the children never used for publicity purposes fell for this dog, but Frit and others suspect it was chosen for its swimming prowess in the hope that it might rescue the captured American captain from the clutches of the Somali pirates, though without biting any.

Ted Kennedy apparently already has three of these dogs. He acquired them in the hope that they might pull him out of any more ponds he happens to drive into whilst drunk, leaving any female passengers to fend for themselves.

The origin of the waxing and the waning of the moon

When God created the sun he shaped it in the form of an ‘O’ by way of foretelling the coming of Obama. But when he created the moon, intended to foretell the coming of Michelle, he had trouble deciding whether it should be in the form of another ‘O’ for Obama’s wife or in the form of a ‘C’ for cow, and he left the project incomplete. Later on, the adherents of a certain religion adopted the crescent shape as their symbol as it looked like something you could very well use to cut off a person’s head with.

Happy Easter to all Frit readers. I hope both of you have a nice time.

Italians found worshipping false gods

The Multimillionaire President of the United States, who recently gave 900 million dollars to Gaza, is giving 50,000 dollars to Italian Earthquake victims. Italians are obviously of the wrong religion, unlike Americans, as, according to the President, America is not a Christian country. The President has also told the Turkish parliament, and thus the wider Methodist world, that “We will bridge misunderstanding, and we will seek common ground. We will be respectful even when we do not agree.” For instance, we do not agree with wanting to take over the world and kill all us infidels, but we respect it.

Social integration

In an earlier post, Frit registered his dislike of vegetarians. They are petty tyrants who expect you to cook without meat when they visit you but expect not to cook with meat when you visit them. This makes them pretty much like Methodists. Methodists expect you to wear a headscarf, eat asphyxiated sheep, drink no beer, blame the Jew for everything and treat your women like dogs etc. when you visit their country but expect not to do the opposite when they visit yours.

Frit, for instance, lived in Gaza for a time. By way of integration, he went about in a burka with a machinegun and some bullets superglued to his chest at all times. He married a local girl, beat her black and blue, forced her to beget seventeen children (at least half of which were brought up as suicide bombers), fired a rocket at an Israeli every morning and pigged out on United Nations halal food aid every night. This was true integration. Exclusively wearing Frit garb, exclusively associating with and exclusively breeding with other Frits, building his own Frit churches, eating his own Frit food would all have been inappropriate and the opposite of what integration is about. And as for insisting that the locals should all become Frits and do the same . . .

Methodists who can’t adapt to life in other people’s countries should go and enjoy life somewhere else. And take the vegetarians with them.

G20 opts for global communism

As we all suspected, the G20 bright sparks opted to lead us into a brand new era of global communism. The entire world is to be run by committees stuffed with their friends. After this had all been sewn up, Frit snuck into the official knees-up by the back door, without anybody noticing. The police were busy hiding from all those “demonstrators” outside who were smashing the windows of banks with their “YES WE CAN” placards. Concealed behind Prime Minister Boredom Brown, whom he mistook for an element of the soft furnishings, Frit then secretly took this photograph of the President of the United States bowing so low to the biggest petroleum parasite of all time that it looks as if he’s attempting to lick out the oil residue gunge from between his toes. When introduced to the Queen of England, who represents America’s closest ally, a mere nod of the head sufficed.

At last we can safely say we now have conclusive photographic evidence to prove what we always suspected – he is so intent on closing Guantanamo Bay so as not to end up there himself one day soon.

Josephine Baker already lived this life you know

Frit learns that top of the pop trash Madonna has “spoken out against accusations that she is using her fame to fast-track the adoption of a 4-year-old Malawian girl” but has not spoken out against accusations that she is using a 4-year-old Malawian girl to fast-track her fame.

In the picture, other children in Malawi can be seen hiding under a tree in the bush in an effort to escape the unpleasant fate of adoption by publicity seeking trollop.

“Mighty Michelle” takes London by storm

The First Lady is in London for the G20 (or the “Gee, twenty!” as she thinks) and is making a big hit with her “understated chic”! Yesterday she accompanied the wife of Boredom Brown to a cancer centre where she said to one patient “Congratulations on being done!” The patient thanked her then went away to try to understand.

Later, a true showbiz dinner was enjoyed, cooked by television chef Jamie Oliver. The main course was “a shoulder of lamb from the Elwy Valley”. Nobody is saying if the sheep in question was halal (Hygienically Asphyxiated Lean Allah Lamb). Mighty Michelle sat next to Harry Potter scribbler J.K. Rowling, a woman whose incredible wealth will never make either attractive or happy. Mighty Michelle told Rowling that if Harry Potter’s first name began with a “B” instead of an “H” he would have more in common with her husband than just some slick tricks. She also said she had read Harry Potter to her daughter. “Congratulations on being done!” Rowling replied.

Openness at last

Forget all those doubts about the openness promised by the Multimillionaire White African President not actually being forthcoming. For now we understand – all that much vaunted openness was not meant for the American people, nor for the rest of the wider civilised world, it was meant instead for our enemies. Yes, those who want to kill us all have been openly and officially informed that US forces will not pursue them into Pakistan from Afghastlystan! They are very grateful and are now moving there in large numbers. Ever on the lookout for a business opportunity and suspecting that accommodation will be in short supply, Frit is now considering opening a hotel down there, the South Waziristan Albergo Talibano.

Picture shows the queue at the border just after the announcement was made.

Pork pies are off, Sir

Frit notes that the lily-livered socialist individuals who run Britain have banned all pork products from the upcoming G20 banquet in deference to the idiotic archaic traditions of the adherents of a certain irritating religion that is really beginning to get on everybody’s nerves (Indonesia, Saudi Arabia and Turkey are the three that are foisting their culture on all the rest). Not sure if this applies to live pigs and thus to Home Secretary and common thief Jacqui Smith, whose visual similarity to a live pig is almost universally accepted. Meanwhile, her husband has humiliatingly apologised for having watched some disturbing films at the taxpayer’s expense without going blind. Apparently, the aforementioned live pig he married was not at home when all this took sordid place. He did not specifically state whether any other pig standing in for her or any other animals involved were organically raised.

Jobs, justice and climate

Around 35,000 no-hopers with nothing to do marched through London this weekend “for jobs, justice and climate”. The counter demo would presumably be “for unemployment, injustice and no climate”. They all trooped along dripping with the milk of their own kindness and hoping to get laid, the usual bevy of minor celebrity “activists” on hand to issue encouraging simplistic gems like “politics should be about people not about profit”. Such a cute line. Spoken by an actor, of course. The actor in question once played the Baldrick character in Blackadder, the British television comody series. He has never made a penny of profit in his life, not even from making a television programme showing his own mother’s death.

Blackadder once tried to teach Baldrick mathematics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=328Q79GoR7g), asking “I have two beans and then I add two more beans. What does that make?”

“A very small casserole”, replied Baldrick. This, of course, was funny. At the time, we didn’t realise he couldn’t make things out any better in real life.

The picture shows the political activist in question showing off a red dress brimful of the profits that accrue from making politics about people instead of profits. Although profits less than half your age but more than twice your size perhaps don’t count.

Nothing new under the sun

Frit is a founder member of the organisation known as WOW (War on Warmers). On behalf of this organisation, Frit has now completed a study that conclusively proves what many have suspected for quite some time: the climate of the planet is controlled by the sun. The study involved sitting outdoors for an hour on a warm day and looking upwards.

Meanwhile, a new study entitled “Falsification of the Atmospheric CO2 Greenhouse Effects Within the Frame of Physics” has been published in the International Journal of Modern Physics by German physicists Gerlich and Tscheuschner. Neither this study nor the work of the recent Conference on Climate Change in New York, nor the work of WOW, are being afforded much attention by the mainstream media that feeds all too well from the warming trough to ever pull out its snout.

Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso (born Lhamo Döndrub) keep out

South Africa, apple of the eye state to that whole generation of anti-apartheid activists who now rule the world, is refusing to let into its territory the Downright Lama, the current pet symbol of apartheid and oppression. And for money! Chinese money! How will they cope?

The Downright Lama himself is unconcerned, it being a simple matter for him to do a wibbly-wobbly fadeout on one side of the border to re-emerge as another being on the other. It’s how he got where he is today, after all. The picture shows the Downright Lama and a well-known South African mouth on legs practicing levitation together in happier times.

Brown and not so brown

Unelected Prime Minister of Britain, Boredom Brown, and unfairly media-elected President of the United States, generally known as The Multimillionaire White African King, appear to be wrangling over which of them is to lead the world out of recession and depression and save us all from the inevitably resulting Third World War.

Both are claiming this role and Frit is concerned that they might injure each other at fisticuffs, fighting for the privilege. Frit is unsure which to support. Brown has the less cocksure and reckless comedy routines of the two, having not yet appeared on TV to disparage the disabled nor to laugh and sneer at the entire financial collapse and auto industry and banking crises. He also has fewer eyes than his opponent. But the President has youth on his side and is probably too thin for Brown to land a decent punch on. He also has race on his side. And Allah. We’ll just have to wait and see which one of them kayos the other and saves our bacon first.

Cherry Blair syndrome infects White House

Green food bore and slavery witterer Michelle Hussein Obama, who, like Cherry Blair, appears to have trouble remembering that she is just somebody’s wife, did a good photo op digging up the White House lawn the other day whilst wearing an extremely inappropriate townie frock. She intends growing vegetables (not personally of course – vegetables are grown in dirt and imply actual work, she’s getting a slave to do it). The idea is to keep herself, her anorexic husband and her children (who are never made use of for publicity purposes) in fresh greens. Does everyone already just loath this horrifyingly daft individual, want to put her on a slave ship along with Cherry Blair and feed them both exclusively on fries, cola and remember you’re just somebody’s wife pills?

Canada declares war on ticks

Today, Frit thanks the Canadian nation for standing up for the welfare of its wildlife and declaring a downer on bloodsucking parasites by refusing entry to Palestinian passport holder and renowned tick George Galloway. Well done! A glimpse at the poor moose above, suffering hair loss associated with tick infestation explains why.

In gratitude, Frit and Mrs Frit have agreed to double their intake of maple syrup and to revise their attitude to millions of square miles of bear-infested frozen wasteland.

Haha, Mr Methodist, funny or what

To laughter from the audience, a speaker at a meeting of lunatic Methodist supremacists held in Istanbul (dubbed the Global Anti-Aggression Campaign!!!) said that twice as many babies were born as children were killed during the recent war in Gaza.

When is the world going to wake up to the fact that breeding rates amongst Methodists are the true challenge of the age? If there is this much trouble in Gaza with only two million people, how on earth are we going to cope when there are ten million? The threat is not from insane ideologies in themselves, but from the sheer numbers of people who share them and try to implement them.

The graph shows the Age and Sex Composition of the Palestinian Population in Gaza Strip and the West Bank (including East Jerusalem), 2005.

Meagre earnings from pirates

As predicted by anyone with any sense, there has been no decrease in piracy attempts around the horn of Africa despite the presence of many fearsome warships that are hugely expensive to maintain. Nor is there likely to be any decrease as long as the pirates (romantic word for armed robbers) know that these fearsome warships are only ever going to arrest them and never sink them.

Meanwhile, the legal system in Germany has already made some good money, but not all that much, from issuing arrest warrants for nine pirates captured by a German warship and then from changing its mind, declaring that the nine will not be taken to Germany for trial after all. The odd reason given for this decision is that “no German interests were considered endangered in the attack” on the German owned cargo ship concerned! One suspects that such a decision to refrain from sticking their snouts into the potentially extremely lucrative pirate prosecuting trough would break the heart of everyone involved in the entire western legal profession. So why would they make it? Smells like a political decision made by politicians and dressed up to look like a legal decision.

Black bust, white bust

With all this new openness abounding everywhere in the new era, why is it so difficult to establish if the Multimillionaire White African King replaced the bust of Churchill in the Oval Office with the bust of Lincoln or with the bust of Martin Luther King? Pictures show a bust of Martin Luther King, so who said Lincoln, and why? Is this a question of a lack of transparency or a question of a misunderstanding or a question of deception and a bare faced lie? Or does it reflect the fact that the man himself is pretty uncertain about his colour? The motives for throwing out the bust of Churchill are also shrouded in mist. We all thought it was to do with his wife’s inability to understand history properly / her slavery problem but it could equally well be because Churchill once said of a certain religion:

“No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. And were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall.”

Strange sex education or else

Frit learns that, in Britain, school officials have apparently announced they will prosecute the parents of approximately 30 children who did not attend a week's worth of lessons coinciding with “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender History Month”. Is the most disturbing thing about this the fact that the parents concerned acted not out of common sense and in a spirit of revolt against samesexer liberal tyranny, but out of straightforward old-fashioned religious bigotry in one form or another, including, mostly, Methodism?

Exceptional Methodist able to carry on good work, relief all round

Frit notes that Lord Fatmed of Rotherham, Methodist peer, has already been released from jail by appeal court judges after serving just 16 days for a texting whilst driving murder. The judges deemed Lord Fatmed’s case “exceptional”! But there is “not one law for the rich and powerful and one law for the rest”, explained appeal court judge Lady Justice Hallett. She made no mention of any laws that might apply to the rest but not to Methodists. She then amazingly went on to warn motorists they face jail for texting while driving, unless they are just texting “Allahu Akbar” which is considered too short a message to cause an accident or do any sort of harm in the world at all.

Apparently, the few days he spent in jail will now be stricken from the record. There will no longer be any evidence of it, so he can carry on with his “international humanitarian work” which his lawyers argued would be in serious jeopardy if a prison record remained on file. So that’s okay then.

The picture shows the texting murderer in question, right, leaving the prison by the back door, disguised as a harpy, in the company of his solicitor. He obviously lost some weight over the past sixteen days but is planning to put it back on again as soon as he can get his mincers into some flavoursome halal lard.

Galloway honoured with Palestinian passport

Frit notes that Member of Parliament George Galloway has been presented with a VIP Palestinian passport at a secret meeting held with the boss of HAMAS (Hate and Murder and Supremacy). Does this mean the authorities are now entitled to take away his British passport, arrest him as an illegal alien terrorist sympathiser spy and saw off his head under Sharia law?

Loser begs for attention, media complies

Why is it that when a moron seeks attention by butchering half a school, as in Germany yesterday, the media give him all the attention they possible can? They splash pictures of him across all the front pages, alter TV schedules, bring in every shrink they can find for the purpose of earning a bob or two, dig up footage of all past events of the same kind and generally make the whole thing as attractive as they can for the next moron thinking of doing the same. Frit opts for publishing a picture of one of the victims. That’s still publicising the event but doesn’t really matter because nobody reads this blog anyway. Just Mrs Frit.

Crazed animal rights butchers murder huntsman in cold blood

We see that heroic hunt saboteurs have killed a huntsman in Britain whilst going about their important, selfless work. This consisted of pursuing huntsmen in a gyrocopter and flying low over them to make sure they were not up to anything untoward with anything furry (nothing whatever totalitarian and aggressive about this). They then appear to have decapitated one with the rotor blades when he protested.

Best thing one can do with hunt saboteurs and other animal botherers is hunt them down with dogs. In this way they might then get an idea, first hand, of just how much a dog loves to chase a thing down and bite off its head. But too late for them then to just stop spoiling the poor animal’s fun and robbing it of its animal rights.

The new era of openness

We are in the “new era of openness” brought to us, as promised, by the Multimillionaire White African King, a being so transparent that he shares his records with just anybody. Especially his birth certificate. He would never pay a million dollars to lawyers to prevent anyone from seeing it (a photograph of a birth certificate, like the one posted on the Internet, is not a birth certificate). Nor would he ever have anything to do with having all references to the birth certificate and dubious nationality issue deleted from Wikipedia.

So are we enjoying this openness? Or are we confused? Can anyone tell Frit if America is doing a deal with the Russians concerning those missile deployments? Seems unclear. Some sources say one thing, some another. Can anyone say what the American government is saying to the Iranians? Seems unclear. Hard to judge. Too much conflicting information resulting from what almost seems to be a total lack of openness. But that simply can’t be.

Slave to fashion

It is said that the Multimillionaire White African King treated British Prime Minister Boredom Brown like some unimportant unelected one-eyed representative of an insignificant banana republic during his visit to America last week. Whilst it might be true that Boredom Brown is indeed an unimportant unelected one-eyed representative of a country the labour party has made into an insignificant banana republic in recent years, appearances need to be kept up. The trouble is, it is rumoured, the flashy Multimillionaire Black African Queen associates Britain with the slave trade! So we have proof that her mind is concerned with more than just clothes, it also has room for some appallingly blinkered views of history. Can international politics really have been brought down to such a juvenile level?