Wednesday 30 September 2009

Burkinis fine versus burkini fine

Further to a recent Frit post concerning the wearing of burkinis in Britain, Frit is delighted to learn that the Mayor of a town in Italy has said that any woman seen wearing a burkini will be fined 500 Euro. “We are simply banning it and if this decision upsets anyone they can simply take a dip in a burkini in their own bathtub”, says the mayor. Frit would like to promote this mayor and give him overall charge of the whole of Europe where he could do something about Germany, for instance, where burkini wearing and other strange Methodist practices are okay whereas the much less strange practices of Baptists (yes, refugee Russian Baptists) are not tolerated at all. When some decided to opt out of the same-sexer liberal brainwashing school system and teach their children at home, the authorities took the parents to court on charges of “high treason and incitement of the people against the authorities”. Some parents were imprisoned, some were robbed of their parental authority and some had their children taken away from them. In 2007, 16-year old Melissa Busekros, who sided with her parents, was even placed in a psychiatric ward because, as the psychiatric evaluation report stated, she “considers herself healthy and her behaviour fully normal” and, hence, needed “urgent help in a closed setting” where she would get “special education treatment.”

Tuesday 29 September 2009

Inane bigot snubs friend

Multimillionairess Tribal Queen of Attitude Michelle has refused to embrace Billionaire Silvio Berlusconi, a staunch ally of America. They say she has a moral/womens’ issue with him due to all the tales they tell of his philanderings (which earn the Italian left a good living). Strangely, she has no moral/womens’ issue with submissively urinating at the feet of the King of Saudi Arabia, authoritarian despot and number one enemy of the free world, a man with 4 official wives, 7 sons and fifteen daughters, and, Frit suspects, a man who keeps an unknown number of “concubines” of assorted sexes and their brood under lock and key in his own private brothel, just like his dad, and, for all Frit knows, just like his 52 brothers. And maybe his 56 sisters.

Billionaire Berlusconi took it well, and even admires Michelle’s “suntan”.

Monday 28 September 2009

Bum bombers

The human race has to be congratulated on having reached a new level of depravity. Yes, the religion that has debased our species so well down the years has now hit on the novel idea of persuading one of its adherents to have a bomb inserted into his back passage as a means of committing murder. They’ll all be doing it soon. None of us will be able to board a plane without having a policeman perform proctoscopy on us from now on. Thank you, religion of peace. Actually, the mechanics of the idea are quite complicated because it can’t be all that easy to locate the arsehole on a person who is entirely made up of one.

Thursday 24 September 2009

The Force without a hat

Frit is outraged to hear that an individual named Jones, who created the International Church of Jediism, was “victimized over his beliefs” by staff at a British supermarket. The Jedi religion, inspired by the sci-fi films, is practiced by 500,000 around the world and requires believers to cover their heads in public places. But Mr Jones said that staff ejected him from the store over security fears when he refused to remove his hood. "I walked past a Muslim lady in a veil. Surely the same rules should apply to everyone," said Jones. Too right, Jones. In a fair world, all morons deserve equal treatment.

Wednesday 23 September 2009

The President’s new skin

With the help of a pack of tarot cards and some goo brewed up by a trio of warty crones, Frit has succeeded in reaching across to the other side to establish contact with the ghost of the fly killed by the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President on TV. The fly is firmly of the belief that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President killed it merely because it happened to be blacker than he. So the fly is shocked and mystified to hear its murderer lay claim, on TV only yesterday, to almost complete true blackness. “I was black before the election”, he claimed, whereas everybody knows the opposite is true: he was elected way before he was black. “Since the election he has become blacker by the day in the eyes of his followers, the fly complains, “thanks to a new type of blackness that is invisible to anyone who is too stupid to see it”. One day, the fly and Frit fear, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President will go on a procession through the capital showing off his new black skin and a small child will cry out “the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is white” and the crowd will realize the child is telling the truth. What happens then?

Tuesday 22 September 2009

Feasting

For Ramadan, the British Home Office sent a circular to the staffers requesting them not to eat in front of fasting Mussulmen. This is the opposite of the circular Frit sent to his own staffers requesting Mussulmen not to fast in front of feasting Christians.

Monday 21 September 2009

Acorn

Hearing that Acorn is intending to sue the people who made those shocking undercover videos, Frit hopes he doesn’t get into trouble for photographing this Acorn worker advising a passing female motorist on the best way to murder her husband.

Friday 18 September 2009

Guinness

The world’s tallest man is in London for official inclusion in the Guinness book of records. Meanwhile a Guinness heiress is also being included in the famous family record book for being the most gross miscreant slapper ever to be acquitted by a jury for having drunk more than one hundred pints of the family brew and behaved like a drunken fishwife on an airliner despite the fact that witnesses, including four hostesses and the captain, abound.

Also in London, a prize politically correct feminist global warming samesexer, Attorney General Patricia Janet Scotland, Baroness Scotland of Asthal, PC, QC (nothing upper crust and far from unassuming about that mouthful), having steered through parliament a law to penalize small businesses for employing illegal immigrants, even if they employ them “unknowingly”, has been caught concealing an illegal immigrant “housekeeper” under her own kitchen sink. We are told she “could” be prosecuted. Could? Could? COULD?

This is the same Attorney General Patricia Janet Scotland, Baroness Scotland of Asthal, PC, QC who is currently considering launching a criminal investigation into whether British secret service agents were complicit in the alleged torture of British terror suspect Binyam Mohamed. Frit believes her unfit for the job. She must resign. She must be prosecuted. She must shorten her name to bring it more in line with her own politically correct political persuasion. Otherwise we might think it’s all just a sham.

Thursday 17 September 2009

Absurd colorblind bungler

Absurd multimillionaire ex-president Carter has falsely implied that the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is BLACK! Is this a racist slur? Coal is black, the night sky is black, Condoleezza Rice (the color of whose skin was never an issue for right-leaning folk) is black. An individual born of two black parents is black, but the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is obviously scientifically observably NOT BLACK! He is no darker than all those underage Latino girls his friends at racketeering organization Acorn were planning to smuggle into the country for use in brothels. This is why it is now widely believed that “the overwhelming portion” of Carter’s “animosity” towards the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President is based on the fact that he is a white man.

Wednesday 16 September 2009

Shoes

Those who rule us are making a lot of fuss about the release from prison of the shoe thrower. In Frit’s view, instead of being released, the shoe thrower should be put in the same cell as the shoe bomber so they can enjoy their mutual fetish together and perhaps ultimately amalgamate into a shoe thrower bomber or a shoe bomber thrower.

Further to the subject of shoes, Frit would also like to inform all those who expect the provision of free health care in America that, recently, Frit discovered holes in his own shoes. Hardly surprising as Frit, always hard up, has been wearing the same pair of shoes since 1917. So Frit set off to obtain a new pair. He intended to obtain a free pair but, search as he might, he found none. No free shoes anywhere to be had. Nobody was making shoes and giving them away for free. The only shoes he could find were ones that people were making and putting on sale for money, so he had to pay for a pair. Bit like that with health care too.

Tuesday 15 September 2009

Whodunit?

A British soldier has been found shot in Afghastlystan in suspicious circumstances. Murder most foul being suspected, Frit was requested to look into the matter (some rooted for Hercule Poirot, but he’s Belgian). It took Frit not very long to establish that the background to the incident is that the international Left long ago embarked upon a quest to denigrate the western military and make every Afghastlystani into a victim. One of its tools, the New York Times, sent, in turn, one of its own tools, a shameful fool nicknamed “Robohack”, to dig up the dirty on the military. Being a shameful fool, Robohack strayed where constantly advised not to stray and was nabbed by the Taliban (Taliban = Thick Autistic Loathsome Inbred Boring Afghastlystani Nerds). Another shameful fool, unelected one-eyed British Prime Minister Boredom Brown, then risked the necks of British soldiers to save the neck of Robohack, which resulted in the death of one soldier.


In Frit’s view, if journalists take wrong turnings in the most dangerous places on earth, nobody else should have to pay the price of saving them from the consequences of their own ambitions and follies. So Frit’s painstaking investigation concludes that the Taliban, the New York Times, shameful fool Robohack and shameful fool one-eyed Boredom Brown all pulled the trigger together. They should be charged and condemned to be stared at by Margaret Rutherford in a very knowing way for the rest of time.

Monday 14 September 2009

Conspiracy

Frit was disgusted, but not surprised, to see that those who control TV in the western world deemed it appropriate to commemorate the 11th of September with shows about 9/11 conspiracy theories. The secret service was responsible; the builders were responsible for not providing adequate fire protection! Frit would find it difficult to condemn anyone whose relatives perished in that act of mass murder were they now to set fire to a television studio and blame the lack of insulation for the consequences.

Thursday 10 September 2009

The Rainbow Nation, where race is no longer an issue

They say that South Africa is now a more dangerous place to live than Iraq during the insurgency war. They say people had better chances of survival in Fallujah during the fighting there. They say that, in that model society created by the anti-apartheid generation of charlatans that now rule us, and where race is no longer an issue, white people are being murdered in such numbers that the non-racial government has stopped stating the color of both the murder victim and the murderer in case anybody might think that the color of people’s skin is still an issue.

Wednesday 9 September 2009

Paradise

The dictionary states that “paradise” means “a place of extreme beauty, delight, or happiness“. So whenever one happens to see a TV show that consists entirely of vile wild critters crawling about in filth and slime somewhere ripping smaller vile wild critters to pieces and in turn being ripped to pieces by bigger ones, why on earth does the title always seem to include the word “paradise”? How do the minds of TV people work? How do they work?

Tuesday 8 September 2009

The laughing policeman

In Britain, three men have been found guilty of conspiracy to murder by detonating explosive devices on trans-Atlantic aircraft. Are we clear that when we say, in this connection, “the proceedings have taken three years and cost an estimated £100m” we mean the sum of one hundred million pounds has been taken from the real wage earners of that country and given to policemen, solicitors and judges over a three year period merely in order to sort a group of miserable racist weirdoes the case against which was cut and dried in the first place, even to the untrained eye? And this money does not include the money paid to the educators for their past education at British schools and universities. Nor does it include the money yet to be paid to prison officers, psychiatrists, social workers and the like for bothering over their miserable, worthless lives in years to come.

Terrorism, like all forms of human endeavor, has its commercial aspects. But in a society run by Frit those commercial aspects would be kept to a very bare minimum. Vote Frit!

Monday 7 September 2009

Taken away in a van

The New York Times tells Frit that “Van Jones resigned as the White House’s environmental jobs “czar” on Saturday, after weeks of controversy over his past comments and affiliations had slowly escalated”.

This, despite the fact that, as was pointed out elsewhere shortly before this resignation, a Nexis search revealed that the total number of words about the Van Jones controversy in the same New York Times was 0. Same results applied to the Washington Post, NBC Nightly News, ABC World News, CBS Evening News, etc. etc..

But, of course, the real issue is that only a president who is as big a joker as depicted in that now famous portrait could have given a job in government to such a clown with such a clown’s background in the first place. For this reason that individual shall be referred to as the “Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Joker President” on this site from now on.

Friday 4 September 2009

Making progress

When recently asked if an interrogator is allowed to rape a prisoner in order to obtain a confession, Mesbah-Yazdi, Madmood Madjihadimad’s Imam (Imam = Incredibly Malevolent Addled Mussulman) is reported to have given the following guidance:
“The necessary precaution is for the interrogator to perform a ritual washing first and say prayers while raping the prisoner. If the prisoner is female, it is permissible to rape through the vagina or anus. It is better not to have a witness present. If it is a male prisoner, then it’s acceptable for someone else to watch while the rape is committed.”

Frit believes he probably then went on to thank the President of the United States for recently paying tribute to “a great religion and its commitment to justice and progress”.


The photograph shows progress currently being made on the streets of London.

Thursday 3 September 2009

Computer warming

It has been reported to Frit's own anti global warming action group WOW (War On Warmers) that a new supercomputer installed by the UK's Meteorological Office for the purpose of "predicting climate change" (predicting it?!) produces 12,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide every year. This makes the Met Office building one of the most polluting public buildings in the UK as 75 per cent of its carbon footprint is produced by the super computer.


It has also come to the organization's attention that "climate change protesters" recently superglued themselves together in a bank that is associated with evil fossil fuel projects. Several hotheaded young WOW activists have now responded to this egotistical call for attention by supergluing their upward-pointing middle fingers to Al Gore.

The weatherman in the picture can be seen experiencing other unexpected and curious warming effects caused by the new supercomputer.

Wednesday 2 September 2009

Circumnavigation beats decapitation

“A court in Utrecht yesterday becalmed the plans of a 13-year-old Dutch girl to become the youngest person to sail solo around the world. In a case which has generated worldwide debate about parental responsibility the court placed Laura Dekker under the guardianship of childcare officials for two months”, reports one mouthpiece of the mainstream media. And there are 5,044 other past month hits for “Laura Dekker” on Google News.

At the same time the placing under the guardianship of childcare officials in Florida of Rifqa Bary, a girl of similar age from Ohio who ran away from home for fear her parents might do their duty under Methodism and cut off her head with a blunt knife for having “converted” to Christianity, merits only 709 past month hits on Google News, and few of these are MSM reports. So this case has obviously generated much less “worldwide debate about parental responsibility” for some reason.

Tuesday 1 September 2009

Despair

More and more people from all over the world are writing to Frit to express their feelings of despair concerning the current American government and to ask Frit to take action. One prominent member of the international scientific community, who made money working very hard for one of those evil drugs companies that spend huge amounts of money on developing new products then refuse to issue them to us free of charge, writes:

“Dear Frit,


Further to one of your recent blog postings, the following



and the ballooning budget deficit make Obama a dangerous fool.


Plus have you seen what happened in Honduras? The leftist Chavez-allied president was ousted for trying to extend his term in defiance of the constitution but the US is inexplicably pressuring to have him restored to power.


My savings are in US dollars while the US throws away its power and security!!!”

The only way Frit can improve upon “dangerous fool” is “dangerous corrupt fool”.