Thursday, 31 December 2009

Happy New Year


Wednesday, 30 December 2009

The price of sausage

Frit is delighted to learn that the Mussulmanic chef who sued his employer, London’s Metropolitan Police, for insisting he handle pig meat with gloves and tongues if he couldn’t manage it with his bare hands, has lost his case due to colleagues having informed the court they watched him tucking into sausages and bacon more than once. He must now pay 76,200 pounds worth of expenses, on top of his own costs!

Still on the subject of food, is it true that 3-wives food-for-oil George Galloway is on hunger strike in Jordan because the Egyptian authorities won’t let his convoy of Gaza “aid” through? If so, do we all hope the pontificating sack of shit is stubborn enough to see it properly through?

Monday, 28 December 2009


A Mussulmanic tried to spoil Christmas for the infidel by blowing up an airliner but succeeded only in blowing up his own testicles. Expert experienced investigative journalists working for the mainstream media all over the world discovered his name and nationality fairly quickly but have thus far failed to discover either his religion or his motive. They did discover that, although his father is one of the richest men in Nigeria, he is without funds and the American taxpayer must pick up those upcoming huge legal bills. They discovered this but are unlikely to make much of it because, as we all know, money is unimportant.

Meanwhile, a Mussulmanic cleric who recently attempted to grab the title of “Most Stupid Mussulmanic in the World” by claiming that Darwin developed the theory of evolution to tar us all with the same brush and gloss over the fact that Jews alone are descended from pigs and monkeys, fell short of his goal when Ashoura commenced (ceremony in which you beat yourself till you bleed or beat your child till it bleeds) and everyone realized there are countless millions of other Mussulmanics far more stupid than he.

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Season’s Greetings

Frit wishes a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all properly civilized people on the planet, which he believes to number fewer than fifteen.

Monday, 21 December 2009

IRA (Infant Rogering Army)

Frit notes that the Irish terrorist murderer brother of Irish terrorist murderer Gerry Adams has legged it because he is being sought by the police for rogering his own children. This circumstance has now forced Adams to reveal, before others do, that his own Irish terrorist murderer father rogered his offspring of an evening on a regular basis too. Such a nice IRA family, preoccupied with nothing but the rights of the oppressed.

Frit found this photograph of an IRA man dragging one of his children into an alleyway for a bit of family bonding.

Thursday, 17 December 2009

Mussulmanics versus Warmers

As the absurd Copenhagen conference comes to an absurd end, Frit is concerned that there could eventually be global conflict between adherents of the Mussulmanic political ideology and adherents of the Warming political ideology. The two are in league at present, as evidenced in Copenhagen, but both are totalitarian ideologies in their own right so, in the end, both must try to absorb the other and, whilst there is nothing in Warming ideology to deny a person’s right to embrace Mussulmanicism (as long as he remembers to continue saving on the energy required to sharpen a knife before cutting off a person’s head with it, the Mussulmanic’s only contribution to preserving the environment to date), the Mussulmanic ideology is very much opposed to the existence of any other ideology per se. Apart from that, Frit reads in Mussulmanic Fatwa No. 110197 that –

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Hour will not begin until the land of the Arabs once again becomes meadows and rivers.”

What we think is that Arabia becoming meadows and rivers again is something concerning which there is no doubt, but we cannot be certain that it will happen because of the melting of the ice cap, because that is known only to Allaah. But we mention this view because it is relevant and because it has been said by some specialists, both Muslims and kaafirs.

Frit supposes the land of the Arabs will again become meadows and rivers at about the same time the hidden savior of mankind, currently still at the bottom of that well down south, jumps out to do his stuff. It seems he is unable to do this at the moment as, according to Madmood Madjihadimad, the tyrannical dwarf ruler of Iran, the USA is blocking his way out!

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Just deserts

In mainstream media reporting, where the wellbeing of Guantanamo inmates and antisocials of all types is a major issue, it is perfectly justifiable to report with glee thatsome say billionaire Berlusconi deservedhaving his face bashed in by an idiot.

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Britain sinks further into bottomless shame

Tzipi Livni, the former Israeli foreign minister, has cancelled a visit to Britain because pro-Palestinian activist groups obtained from a court a warrant for her arrest on alleged war crimes charges.

And a man who was threatened at knifepoint and tied up by a gang of masked men in his living room last year, along with his wife and children, was told he must go to prison for 30 months to preserve “civilized society” because he managed to set upon one of his attackers with a cricket bat. The attacker concerned, a criminal with more than 50 convictions, was handed a two-year supervision order for his role in the break-in at an earlier hearing. The reasoning must be that, if people take the law into their own hands, judges loose income.

Friday, 11 December 2009

The necessity of war

Had they given the Nobel Peace Prize to George Bush, he could have told us that war is sometimes necessary in his acceptance speech, just like the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President did. The only difference would have been that George Bush would have sincerely regretted that simple truth and would never have got himself elected to office by pretending the opposite.

Thursday, 10 December 2009


Frit is currently in Copenhagen. He came here by mistake. Being shortsighted, he misread “climate change conference” as “deranged primate conference” and thought it worth a look. No matter, on arrival he found he read it correctly anyway. The entire city of Copenhagen has been turned into a political correctness hootenanny. Huge banners, signs and displays all over the place telling people what those who rule us consider the right messages, just like in North Korea. Every leftist political cause is represented on every street by every pathetic jerk in Christendom ready to wreck the planet and fly in from anywhere to enjoy a self-righteous zealous kneesup.

The whole picture is then to be completed soon when the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President turns up to dazzle every deranged primate in town. On the way he is stopping off in Oslo to pick up his peace prize. The Norwegians are unhappy because he cancelled dinner with the Norwegian Nobel committee, a press conference, a television interview, appearances at a children's event promoting peace and a music concert, as well as a visit to an exhibition in his honor at the Nobel peace centre. He also turned down a lunch invitation from the King of Norway. Rumor is he cancelled because Michelle only travels in Cadillacs these days and somehow got the idea they would be driven between venues in an old Fiord.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009


The Wally In Charge Of Warming at the UN has appeared on TV in a very expensive suit to rubbish Climategate. Desperately trying to preserve the gravy train and shortly before his appointment to be measured for his next expensive suit, this cross between a badger and a garden gnome, inventor of the farting cow, valiantly defended the planet from a bunch of harmless emails hacked and distributed by Frit’s anti-warming organization War On Warmers (WOW). Climategate is nonsense and poor countries have every right to come to Copenhagen to steal from the rich! All the same, Frit detects that those who feed us the news are becoming unsettled by Climategate in that they are slowly starting to report it.

Meanwhile, unelected Prime Minister of Britain, warmer and tub of Scots lard Boredom Brown, has publicly referred to Frit and other prominent global warming skeptics as “flat-earthers”. So incensed is Frit by this insult that he had his men challenge Brown to a duel. As brown has but a single eye he cannot reasonably be expected to have a fair chance throwing claymores at ten paces. This is why Frit has proposed throwing claymores at ten paces, but has undertaken to aim only at the missing eye.

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

All sorts of people in glass houses throw stones

A ‘prominent’ Turkish-German film director has said he will not bring his new film to Switzerland in protest against the referendum vote that banned the construction of minarets in that country. "This referendum conflicts with my understanding of humanism, tolerance and the belief that harmonious co-existence of peoples of differing backgrounds, races and religions must be possible," the film director said in an open letter. He made no mention of any open letter he bothered to write criticizing any laws or attitudes that conflict with his understanding of humanism etc. in Turkey, where a poll revealed that 59% believe that non-Mussulmanics should not even be permitted to hold meetings of any sort. For their part, the Swiss are delighted at this unexpected spinoff from their vote. Keeps a load of trendy mind-softening childish codswallop off their cinema screens.

And then there is Iran, which warned Switzerland on Saturday of “consequences” and urged Bern not to enforce the ban. The vote went “against the prestige of a country which claims to be an advocate of democracy and human rights,” the Foreign Minister apparently told his Swiss counterpart in a telephone call. Carefully studying his map of the world with a magnifying glass for some time, Frit finds no other Iran than the one where they are currently gunning down political protesters in the streets in unknown large numbers, where they regularly stone young women to death, hang homosexuals and keep their country united by making scapegoats of Jews in exactly the same way the Nazis did. Human rights?

Egyptians also have a lot to say. Egypt's grand mufti denounced the referendum result as an "insult" to Islam. Killing Coptic Christians in Egypt and treating them like animals was not mentioned. Neither was the aggravation they suffer if they try to build a church. As Cairo has at least 4,700 mosques with minarets and the authorities are currently striving to control the extraordinary brouhaha that results from thousands of muezzins all shouting a load of rubbish through loudhailers all at the same time, out of sync, 5 times a day, Frit would have thought the Egyptians would have some sympathy with the Swiss. But no.

Rack his brain as he might, Frit can think of not a single Mussulmanic land nor organization nor individual that is not guilty of the most gross hypocrisy in protesting the Swiss ban. In Frit’s view they should leave the Swiss alone and get on with answering those important questions they post on the Internet like “Is it valid to pray behind one who makes grammatical mistakes when he recites the Qur’aan?“

Monday, 7 December 2009

Sharks and other fish

Today is the big day we have all been waiting for – the beginning of the United Nations Climate Change Conference! WE ARE SAVED! Frit thought we were in danger of having the entire thing called off in the light of Climategate and might not be saved after all. But no, Great Gore is the only one to have chickened out. Great Gore has made so much money from the global warming hoax that he can afford to pull out. Not so the estimated 16,500 delegates, activists and reporters attending, whose incomes and careers still depend on it. Frit is told that, when they descend upon Copenhagen today, they will be emitting 40,584 tons of carbon dioxide equivalents over the duration of the event, roughly the same amount as the carbon emissions of Morocco in 2006. Frit is also reliably informed by a new Australian Warmers’ study that warmer ocean temperatures caused by global warming could cause sharks “and other fish” to become more aggressive! Copenhagen being on the coast, Frit is hoping those 16,500 delegates, activists and reporters all decide to take a swim and are set upon by herrings.

Friday, 4 December 2009

American hero breaks silence

American hero Donald Rumsfeld has done us all the service of telling the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President that he lately did a “disservice to the truth”. Frit thanks Mr Rumsfeld for this, and for his diplomatic choice of words. Frit’s own inelegant choice of words, i.e. “dishonorable lying sporn of slimeball cesspit subculture”, just doesn’t have the same impact. It damages the important cause and reflects badly on Frit.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

The enemy within

The groundswell in Europe is emphatically in favor of the democratic Swiss ban on minarets. Polls taken everywhere reveal huge majorities in support of such a ban in other countries. Italy is likely to hold a similar referendum soon. In response and panic, the mainstream media is reporting only the utterances of those not in favor, such as the UN and Daniel Cohn-Bendit, appallingly short human tick and co-president of the Greens in the European Parliament (CO-president, so democratic). Like the Turks, Cohn-Bendit has called on rich Muslims to empty their bank accounts in Switzerland in retaliation for Sunday's referendum. Cohn-Bendit is the archenemy within. Like so many of his ilk, after attending a secondary school for children of the upper middle class he started out red and later turned green. Like so many of his ilk he likes to molest children, once having taken a job in a kindergarten specifically for the purpose. Like so many of his ilk he also likes writing books about his own ever-so-fascinating life. "On several occasions certain kids would open my fly and start to stroke me. I reacted differently according to circumstances, but their desire posed a problem for me. I asked them: 'Why don't you play together? Why have you chosen me, and not the other kids?' But if they insisted, I caressed them still", he once wrote. So why is he sitting in the European Parliament aiding the downfall of civilization instead of sitting in prison?

In the picture, Cohn-Bendit can be seen talking about size to a class of small boys.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

New Afghastlystan strategy – lose but pretend to win in eighteen months

At the end of the Second World War, advance American forces approached a small German town. Shots were fired and those defending the town surrendered. The Americans disarmed all the adult males in the town and put them in an adjacent field. They posted six men to guard them until the next unit came along to process them and then pushed on. Once they had departed the hardliners amongst the prisoners overpowered and killed the guards then drove the rest of the prisoners back into the town. When the follow-up American unit arrived and learned what had happened it called in air strikes and bombed the town fairly flat.

In Afghastlystan, by comparison, the locals jump out into the streets for some handouts when infidel forces arrive in town but flee to the fields when the Taliban call by. This is the wrong way round. It happens because the locals know that, when shot at, the infidels have to make 50 phone calls to obtain permission to shoot back, which might or might not be given, whereas the Taliban just torture you then chop off your head. It is crucial to any conflict that the locals are more afraid of you than they are of your enemy. Only then do they hand the enemy over and the war stops.

The new Afghastlystan strategy unveiled yesterday by the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President includes none of Frit’s crucial goals, i.e. destroying opium production there, preventing Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and depriving Pakistan of the nuclear weapons it already possesses, because these are not his goals. The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan Nobel Laureate Joker President’s goal is essentially to make that country into a place for getting rid of US soldiery at a much faster rate than has applied up to now. The idea is for Afghastlystan to eventually consume all US and other infidel armed forces in entirety and leave the way free for global Sharia.

Frit took this photograph of General McChrystal receiving instructions on how to tie both arms of his men behind their backs instead of one.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Shove your minaret

The Swiss have refused to have the Mussulmanics force them to build minarets on top of their cuckoo clocks. The Mussulmanics are upset. They thought that giving their towers a name the sound of which conjures up the image of a sweet French schoolgirl would mask their sinister purposes. They were wrong. The Swiss were not fooled. Switzerland is now leading Europe and is not even a member of the EU. In retaliation, Saudi Arabia wanted to hold a referendum on forbidding Christian churches and Jewish synagogues, but since these are already forbidden and nobody seems to notice they are instead said to be planning a referendum on forbidding holes in cheese. The rules are that women are not allowed to vote at all and should shut up and men can only vote if they are the King. Historically, the Mussulmanics have been suspicious of the Swiss since the day one of them failed to cut off the head of his son before shooting an apple from the top of it. Now this.

Question: Is it possible to hold a referendum and then declare the outcome illegal if it is not the outcome you wanted?
Answer: Yes it is. Just watch.