Monday, 31 August 2009


Deranged billionaire Libyan Dictator Moamer Kadhafi has kindly agreed not to pitch his tent in a New York suburb during an upcoming United Nations visit after the community, which includes dozens of families who lost loved ones in the 1988 Lockerbie bombing, made it clear that camping dictators are undesirable, however camp. Meanwhile, the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King has temporarily pitched his own tent on Martha’s Vineyard where it is perfectly kosher for a person of his religion to hang out as there have never actually been any frowned upon vineyards on that island. It seems the island has been the summer retreat of many well-to-do African Americans for 200 years. Nothing tribal about that. The island is also right next door, remember, to Chappaquiddick Island, a place of pilgrimage for every right-minded revolting sexist playboy, a place where the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King might feel extra close to his friend “Teddy” at this sad time. Apart from this, of course, the waters offshore are just littered with the corpses of Kennedys. The lucky holidaymaker might have the fortune to come upon one of them mummified in salt and washed ashore on the beach. But, despite all these attractions, there are some who insist the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King is partial to Martha’s Vineyard simply because the island is home to a place called “Gay Head”. Frit has no idea what they mean to imply.

Friday, 28 August 2009

Fairground romance

Learning that a woman in the US intends marrying a fairground ride as a result of “objectum sexuality”, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects, unelected Prime Minister of Britain Boredom Brown is delighted she spotted the fairground ride before she spotted him.

Thursday, 27 August 2009


Frit has been criticized by many an international leader for speaking ill of Ted Kennedy. It seems that Frit had an entirely wrong idea of multimillionaire Kennedy. He was not a self-seeking rich man at all. Instead he was “legendary”. He spent his life tirelessly working for an end to racism, for equality and social justice. UN Secretary-General Man-in-Moon, for instance, says that multimillionaire Kennedy “was not just a friend of those of power and high position, but even more to those who had neither. He was a voice for those who would otherwise go unheard, a defender of the rights and interests of the defenseless.” Frit humbly apologizes and reproduces the following “Teddy” quotes by way of proving his true worth:

“Integrity is the lifeblood of democracy. Deceit is a poison in its veins.”

“The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die.”

“Somebody should have taught the little bitch how to swim.”

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Tumor refuses to carry on sharing a head with Ted Kennedy

It seems that Kennedy hastened his own death by foregoing conventional treatment, insisting he could beat the tumor simply by telling it a constant pack of lies. Worked well for him all his life. When Kennedy was dying, the tumor, drunk at the time, apparently left the scene and called a bunch of other people before calling the ambulance.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Special terrorism-era interrogation unit set up at last

Is the title intended to imply that the “terrorism-era” is over? Today, Frit posts the following statement made by Dick Cheney, a man who saved the lives of many Americans and Europeans during the terrorism-era, but regrettably many fewer lives than the current President and those around him are going to waste:

“The documents released Monday clearly demonstrate that the individuals subjected to Enhanced Interrogation Techniques provided the bulk of intelligence we gained about al Qaeda. This intelligence saved lives and prevented terrorist attacks. These detainees also, according to the documents, played a role in nearly every capture of al Qaeda members and associates since 2002. The activities of the CIA in carrying out the policies of the Bush Administration were directly responsible for defeating all efforts by al Qaeda to launch further mass casualty attacks against the United States. The people involved deserve our gratitude. They do not deserve to be the targets of political investigations or prosecutions. President Obama’s decision to allow the Justice Department to investigate and possibly prosecute CIA personnel, and his decision to remove authority for interrogation from the CIA to the White House, serves as a reminder, if any were needed, of why so many Americans have doubts about this Administration’s ability to be responsible for our nation’s security.”

You can tell that Cheney is a right-minded hero by the numbers of negative images of him that Google Images turns up when you type in his name.

Monday, 24 August 2009


The Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King has delivered his Ramadamadingdong message to the adherents of the religion that is getting so much on everybody’s nerves, but, at the same time, he is (claims to be) upset that the Libyans have made a big celebration over the homecoming of the convicted Lockerbie mass murderer released from jail in Britain by the creepy people in power there, especially as he personally requested the Libyans not to do so. He should invite Frit round for one of those beers, and then Frit could explain how the two things link up. Maybe the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King could then explain to Frit if the released convicted mass murderer is really a mass murderer. There are those who say the hectomillionaire Clintons know the truth:

The Palestinian woman pictured illustrates the dangers of fasting to excess.

Thursday, 20 August 2009


Frit, a talented artist in his spare time, has created this masterpiece using a freeware “make your own logobama” program plus a little retouching with Microsoft Paint. Frit intends entering it for this year’s “Nancy Pelosi Organised Town Hall Tea Party Mob with People Carrying Swastikas Art Competition”.

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Unhygienic faith

British policewomen have at last been issued with headscarves so they can now enter Methodist churches without offending anybody’s strange beliefs. What a relief! British swimming pools are also permitting Methodist women to wear burkinis at certain times of day, whilst, in France, a Methodist woman was quite rightly requested to leave the pool in her burkini for reasons of hygiene. British hospitals are also permitting Methodist hospital staff to cleanse their hands with a cleansing agent that is less effective against swine flu than others but contains no alcohol. This is because they wish no personal contact with either alcohol or the swine, despite the fact that the legal adviser to the Saudi ministry of justice has reassured Methodists that whoever dies of swine flu will get the reward of a martyr, and despite the fact that the Prophet Mohamed is known to have had himself rubbed down with a bottle of rum by some underage girls and boys almost every night.

Frit took this photograph of British women gathered round the pool.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Channel closed

Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton has told the world she has no intention of “channelling” her husband. Many a year has passed since she last channelled him, she says, as their ages in the photograph she issued of the event make clear.

Monday, 17 August 2009

Rabid jihadies make Zionist declaration

In Gaza, a hellhole brought into existence by joint effort on the part of the Islamic states, the UN and the western mainstream media, terror organisation Hamas spent the weekend massacring a group of fellow Palestinians who are so extreme that they regard terror organisation Hamas as a bunch of wishy-washy moderates when it comes to getting down to it and sawing off infidel heads in large numbers. This group dared to declare Gaza an “Islamic emirate”, thereby threatening the authority (income) of Hamas. Hamas astonishingly explains this massacre as a warning to “those who are behind these Israeli Zionist declarations”!!! Even more astonishing, the BBC website passes on this spellbindingly bizarre statement without a word of comment!!!

Friday, 14 August 2009

Curious recipe

Having heard that soup made from a man’s head would cure their daughter’s longstanding psychiatric problems, a couple in China got a man to beat an elderly gent unconscious and cut off his head. The couple then gave their 25-year-old daughter soup made from the man’s head, and duck. AND DUCK? Head and pheasant maybe, but head and duck?

Thursday, 13 August 2009


A “court” in popular sideshow country Myanmar has decided that heavyweight liberal icon and dinner table topic Aung San Suu Kyi Who Mostly Stays At Home For Tea must stay at home for tea for even longer. UN Secretary-General Man-in-Moon is not exactly overjoyed about the matter and calls it "profoundly disappointing“. The recent “re-election” of mad butcher Madmood Madjihadimad, on the other hand, in a country crucial to world peace, is apparently not anywhere near as “profoundly disappointing” and Man-in-Moon has therefore written him a letter of congratulation.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Too old to stop working

Those who rule Britain are saying that the state pension threshold age must be raised to seventy. Our other western democracies are sure to follow suit. This, they tell their subjects, is due to those subjects living too inconveniently long and is due to “a lack of knowledge about how to save” and to a “decline in generous company pension schemes” etc.. It has nothing, of course, to do with the fact that we are simply hard up and no longer able to afford pensions. And no fault attaches to those who’ve spent the past fifty years obtaining money, power and prestige by softening the brain of society to such an extent that all our hard-earned wealth has been allowed to seep away into the sandy desserts of the Middle East.

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

No gays in Iran

We see that the recent murder of same-sexers by a deranged person in a support centre for same-sexer teenagers in Tel Aviv in the evil empire of Israel makes the headline news all over whilst the daily persecution, torment and execution of same-sexers across the Methodist world (often by the entertaining method of throwing them from roofs with their hands tied behind their backs) does not. (It’s because it’s their culture, silly.)

Monday, 10 August 2009

What no pigs

A Kenyan farmer named Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor is reported to have offered Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton 40 goats and 20 cows for the hand of her daughter, Chelsea Clinton. Hectomillionairess Hillary Rod’em Clinton is tempted, especially as the offer includes no pigs and ought thus to be acceptable to her boss, but has nonetheless turned it down as she fears for the sexual health of the livestock if ever left alone in the house with Bill.

Frit took this photograph of Chelsea at the very moment she learned how many dumb animals somebody thought she was worth.

Thursday, 6 August 2009


Frit notes with delight that the Joker poster is strangely getting really deep under the skins of those who rule us.

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Out of Africa

After learning that research by geneticists and archaeologists has allowed them to trace the origins of modern homo sapiens back to a single group of around two hundred people who managed to cross from the Horn of Africa into Arabia, thence to colonise the rest of the world, Michelle Obama sees no point in her existence any more and has decided to commit suicide by reading all the works of friend Henry Louis Gates in one sitting.

It is thought that climate change between 90,000 and 70,000 years ago caused sea levels to drop dramatically so that it became possible to cross the Red Sea. Serves that tribe right for polluting their environment with too many CO2 emissions! Shame on them!

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Where's Daddy?

A considerate Spanish woman believed to be the world's oldest mother after giving birth at the age of 66 has died of cancer, leaving 2-year-old twins to grow up as orphans. The doctors who provided the treatment needed to bring about those births are affronted because she told them she was “only 55”, and, as we all know, there’s nothing dim-witted and irresponsible and downright revolting about artificially inseminating a woman of only 55!

The picture shows the world’s youngest known mother, a Peruvian girl aged 5, who gave birth to a baby boy on the 14th of May 1939. In this case, the father was believed to be just some thick rapist brute instead of a team of educated doctors. Frit believes the doctors should now be invited to accept legal custody of the parentless twins.

Monday, 3 August 2009

Where's the birth certificate?

As a prominent “birther”, Frit would like to offer the following easy to understand example by way of cutting through all the obfuscation of those in the left-leaning media presently hell-bent on going after the birthers, and who thus might fairly be christened “afterbirthers”:

Suppose that, whilst driving his car down the highway tomorrow, Frit is stopped by the police and asked to show his driving license. “Sorry”, says Frit, “I don’t have it with me. But here’s a photograph of it.” The police officer is likely to be dissatisfied with this response because, as everybody knows, A PHOTOGRAPH OF A DRIVING LICENCE IS NOT A DRIVING LICENCE.
So the officer is likely to request Frit to turn up at the police station next morning to show the original licence. Instead of so doing, suppose Frit pays a substantial sum of money to lawyers to keep the driving licence concealed from view. The police, as well as every mentally normal individual on the planet, would be suspicious. Especially if Frit were to constantly insist to all and sundry that he fervently believes so much in openness and freedom of information and other shining notions. What is it about the driving licence that Frit wishes others not to see, they would say. They would still say the same were Frit to persuade an individual at the driving licence office to publicly state that Frit indeed has a driving licence. Because, as everybody knows, A STATEMENT ABOUT A DRIVING LICENCE IS NOT A DRIVING LICENCE.

A situation would thus occur where all sorts of rumours about Frit would start to circulate. Some would say Frit has no driving licence; some would say it is forged. Some would say Frit is not really one of the Frit’s at all; instead he is a Methodist with a blunt knife hidden in his burqa. Best thing Frit could do to put an end to all the speculation would be to simply show the police his driving licence. Basta!

The same is true in the case of the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King. The idea that he has no birth certificate because he was never born and came about in an entirely different way is probably farfetched. The idea that he was born in Timbuktu and is not an American is probably farfetched. But the idea that some of his parents are not who he says they are is not at all farfetched, particularly in view of his mother’s apparent appetite for large numbers of black men for reasons of ideology and size, and in view of the recent Internet photographs of her so provocatively displaying her birthday suit to all. And if his parents are not who he says they are then the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King is simply not an honest man. He is a deceiver.

When all’s said and done, not even the most ardent afterbirther could deny the striking resemblance between the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King, right, and communist pornographer Frank Marshall Davis, left (photograph taken in Hawaii at around the time of the former’s birth). Case closed.