Monday, 3 August 2009

Where's the birth certificate?

As a prominent “birther”, Frit would like to offer the following easy to understand example by way of cutting through all the obfuscation of those in the left-leaning media presently hell-bent on going after the birthers, and who thus might fairly be christened “afterbirthers”:

Suppose that, whilst driving his car down the highway tomorrow, Frit is stopped by the police and asked to show his driving license. “Sorry”, says Frit, “I don’t have it with me. But here’s a photograph of it.” The police officer is likely to be dissatisfied with this response because, as everybody knows, A PHOTOGRAPH OF A DRIVING LICENCE IS NOT A DRIVING LICENCE.
So the officer is likely to request Frit to turn up at the police station next morning to show the original licence. Instead of so doing, suppose Frit pays a substantial sum of money to lawyers to keep the driving licence concealed from view. The police, as well as every mentally normal individual on the planet, would be suspicious. Especially if Frit were to constantly insist to all and sundry that he fervently believes so much in openness and freedom of information and other shining notions. What is it about the driving licence that Frit wishes others not to see, they would say. They would still say the same were Frit to persuade an individual at the driving licence office to publicly state that Frit indeed has a driving licence. Because, as everybody knows, A STATEMENT ABOUT A DRIVING LICENCE IS NOT A DRIVING LICENCE.

A situation would thus occur where all sorts of rumours about Frit would start to circulate. Some would say Frit has no driving licence; some would say it is forged. Some would say Frit is not really one of the Frit’s at all; instead he is a Methodist with a blunt knife hidden in his burqa. Best thing Frit could do to put an end to all the speculation would be to simply show the police his driving licence. Basta!

The same is true in the case of the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King. The idea that he has no birth certificate because he was never born and came about in an entirely different way is probably farfetched. The idea that he was born in Timbuktu and is not an American is probably farfetched. But the idea that some of his parents are not who he says they are is not at all farfetched, particularly in view of his mother’s apparent appetite for large numbers of black men for reasons of ideology and size, and in view of the recent Internet photographs of her so provocatively displaying her birthday suit to all. And if his parents are not who he says they are then the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King is simply not an honest man. He is a deceiver.

When all’s said and done, not even the most ardent afterbirther could deny the striking resemblance between the Multimillionaire White Mohammedan King, right, and communist pornographer Frank Marshall Davis, left (photograph taken in Hawaii at around the time of the former’s birth). Case closed.