Wednesday 30 April 2008

Mad dog bites deranged woman, dog dies


In his innocence, Frit is astonished to learn that there exists a charity, called Animal SOS Sri Lanka, which imports “street dogs” to Britain from Sri Lanka! These “suffering and dying” animals are presumably flown halfway round the world in aeroplanes to a country that is already full of stray dogs (around 10,000 put down each year by local authorities) and which is currently free of rabies.

As an act of gratitude, one of these creatures, sick with rabies, has now bitten the hand of the nitwit who fed it, who describes herself as “President and founder” of that charity, as well as the hands of two other nitwits. All three have received medical treatment at the taxpayer’s expense and are sadly not set to leave us soon. The dog itself was given assistance in leaving us, presumably also at the taxpayer’s expense. Also, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs assures the general public that “We are now tracing animals that have moved from the kennels to ensure that all animals that have come into contact with the puppy are monitored". It neglects to add “at the taxpayer’s expense”.

The Charities Commission appears to have gone bonkers in permitting this. Its website says that the stated “object” of Animal SOS Sri Lanka is: THE ALLEVIATION OF ANIMAL SUFFERING PARTICULARLY IN SRI LANKA (BUT NOT EXCLUSIVELY) FROM INJURY, SICKNESS, ILL-TREATMENT OR NEGLECT. The stated “area of benefit” is SRI LANKA and the stated “area of operation” is SRI LANKA. There is no mention of Britain and absolutely no mention of alleviating all that suffering by flying all those wretched creatures there.

Frit is now considering setting up a similar charity with the purpose of alleviating mental suffering on the part of the rest of us by rounding up all the deranged women in the western world and shipping them off to Sri Lanka to be bitten by as many mad dogs as they like. Of course, Frit will also be able to pay himself a good wage from the donations first. What a good scam!

Monday 28 April 2008

Heartfelt apology

Whilst this site is waiting and hoping and praying for real advertisers (as well as sacrificing the occasional stray cat to that end), only Google ads are being displayed, one of which (Frit notices with astonishment) is selling Kosovo flags! Frit is truly sorry for this abominable affront, as is Mrs Frit.

Friday 25 April 2008

Double Darwin


This picture of the bonding of unsavoury communist Nazi tyrant conman Chavez and unsavoury communist Nazi tyrant madman Ahmadinejad is a fake, in that most of their body hair has been airbrushed out. Nevertheless, it can still be taken as definitive proof that man indeed evolved from the ape, but is now evolving into the slug.

Thursday 24 April 2008

Multimillionaire windbag Jimmy Carter meets Hamas

Frit believes he will be able to bear up well on the day ex-president Carter transitions into ex-human being Carter. When you have a lot of blood on your hands, the fact that it got there as a result of well-intended self-indulgent bungling is little excuse.

Wednesday 23 April 2008

Vile backing


Middle-aged multimillionaire white American Michael Moore-Than-Enough, a truly kind and selfless unimportant individual who would never accept a cent or sexual favour from a single young person, has put his greasy weight behind B.A. Barackabama in the struggle for leadership of the democrats. B.A Barackabama thanks him but is having a wash all the same.

Tuesday 22 April 2008

Shared brain

Today, the democratic party hopefuls are up for it in Pennsylvania. Proof that those who report for the international mainstream media share a collective brain is that, although there are two contestants, i.e. B.A. Barackabama and Hectomillionairess Hillary Clinton, all the emphasis is on whether Hectomillionairess Hillary Clinton wins or loses, and not on whether B.A. Baracabama wins or loses. Frit suspects that, later on, this might go the other way round.

Monday 21 April 2008

Wedding bells

Former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl (right-leaning), whose first wife is dead, appears to be getting married again at advanced age. For some reason, this is providing the local media with much sneering fodder.

Multimillionaire hairpiece wearer, conman and former German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder (left-leaning), a self-confessed thief who appeared on TV (under the influence of drink or drugs or both) on the evening he lost the last German general election to claim that “nobody but me can form a government”, has already had four wives, the latest of which is a pigmy marmoset, and never a sneer is heard.

Friday 18 April 2008

Makeup

Frit believes he is right in saying that each and every ruling class stud appearing on TV to sneer at Silvio Berlusconi’s hair transplant or facelift etc. is always wearing more false hair and makeup than a transvestite on its wedding day.

Thursday 17 April 2008

Boredom Brown

The British Labour Party sacked a winner to appoint a loser. They pretend to the gullible and the young that this was done as a matter of fine principle, whereas, of course, it was done as a result of truly appalling judgement and they really rue the day.

Wednesday 16 April 2008

Irritating sweaty subspecies


Frit and Mrs Frit are unhappy with all who ride bicycles for recreational purposes.

Tuesday 15 April 2008

Return of the rich man


Billionaire business tycoon media mogul well-heeled affluent well-off prosperous Silvio Berlusconi, Italy’s wealthiest man and one of the richest men in the world, is back! And with a larger margin than those who rule us can comfortably stomach! Their reaction is to explain this event to us rather than report it to us. One of the best of these explanations is that, as long as such and such gets done, the Italian people “couldn’t care less who their prime minister is”. And so forth.
BBC TV opts for just portraying him as a criminal buffoon. The fact that 47% of the Italian people voted for him is irrelevant to the BBC. This 47% of the population shall just be ignored until such time as it can be re-educated.

Monday 14 April 2008

Having their cake and burning it


Today is a very black day for those who rule over us. For some time now they have had their hands very deep inside the pockets and the pants of the gullible and the young on the back of the strange, furry notion that fuel can sensibly be made by burning food!
The bizarre logic of this runs as follows:

a) obtain some petrol from the ground
b) burn this petrol to produce a plate of egg and chips
c) obtain some more petrol from the ground
d) burn this petrol to burn the plate of egg and chips and thereby obtain an amazing bonanza of FREE PETROL

What could be more convincing in all its furriness than this? Trouble is, today, the practice of burning food to make fuel has been pronounced “a crime against humanity”. It is blamed for the alarming increase in the cost of food all over the world.
Those who rule over us and rob us every day would normally have no problem in digesting such an accusation and verbally regurgitating it in the form of some sort of really quite positive thing. But, sadly, the accusation comes from none other than the United Nations, an institution they have made their very own.

Over the years the ruling class has turned the United Nations into the Ultimate Temple of Holiness. Its previous Secretary General, Holy Kofi, was elevated to the level of devine being, and then some. The Ultimate Temple of Holines is the place in the direction of which ruling class members turn themselves ten times a day, praying for material benefits, and countless thousands of them directly make countless millions of dollars from direct association with it. So when the Ultimate Temple of Holiness says a thing, they have to listen. This is why they are in such a critical dither today. They have been caught trying to have their cake as well as burn it, and caught by their own ultimate authority to boot. Frit is concerned they may sink into depression.

But no, they’re sure to have the usual “intensive debate”, i.e. millions of words spoken and sold, millions of words broadcast and sold, millions of words printed and sold, millions more dollars in the bank. A process at the end of which they’re sure to conclude no blame attaches and you can indeed have your cake and burn it, as long as the careers and money keep coming.

Friday 11 April 2008

Hectomillionaires

Silvio Berlusconi is up for election in a couple of days, so his name is being mentioned often in the media, normally accompanied by a customary gratuitous description, e.g. “multimillionaire Berlusconi”.

Hillary Clinton is up for election soon. Her name is being mentioned often in the media. However, despite the fact that, last week, the Clintons were forced to reveal they’ve earned more than one hundred million dollars in the last eight years (and only the truly naive would think this is the whole truth), Frit has not once heard her referred to as “multimillionairess Hillary Clinton”, and he is sure he never will.

By way of doing his bit towards redressing this blatant imbalance on the part of the mainstream media run by the ruling class, Frit will be using the gratuitous description “Hectomillionairess Hillary Clinton” whenever referring to that person on this site from now on.

Thursday 10 April 2008

In vino veritas


Those who rule over us are complaining about drinking and driving again.

One evening, when Frit and Mrs Frit were walking down a mountain in the Alps, they passed by a mountain hut where three very drunken old men were saying their goodbyes after an obvious drawn out drinking session. Two of these staggered off homeward down a steep meadow, Laurel and Hardy fashion. The third, the landlord of the establishment, went back inside and started closing up.

Ten minutes later, a good way further along the track leading downwards, Frit and Mrs Frit heard the sound of a vehicle approaching from behind. “Good God”, said Frit to Mrs Frit, “It’s the drunken landlord driving home”. As the ground on one side of the track went alarmingly and endlessly down, Frit and Mrs Frit quickly climbed up the bank on the other side to remove themselves from harm. Half a minute later the landlord came round the bend in his pickup full of beer crates, hunched over the wheel, peering forwards with concentration, carefully proceeding down the mountain track along the edge of the precipice at about walking speed.

Early next morning, in the town down below, Frit stood at the side of the road, waiting to cross, when who should drive by in his pickup but the landlord of the evening before. Sober, he drove hunched over the wheel, peering forwards with concentration, proceeding along the road at about twice walking speed.

From this, Frit was quick to formulate the following equations:

a) careful and considerate drivers who always drive within the limits of their capabilities + drink = less competent careful and considerate drivers who always drive within the limits of their capabilities
b) reckless and inconsiderate drivers who always drive at the limit of their capabilities + drink = certain death for someone

Sadly, most drivers fit into the latter category (and this goes double for those supposed to enforce the law). To avoid confronting this disgraceful issue, society puts the blame on the drink, not on the driver. So we can all carry on driving round the blind bend on two wheels as fast as we possibly can, under the assumption that no children are playing in the middle of the road on the other side rather than under the assumption that some are. If they are it’s their own fault. We can mow down as many as we like. As long as we’ve had nothing to drink we’re in the clear.

Wednesday 9 April 2008

Lack of taste

The ruling class is seething because Silvio Berlusconi has said the left “have no taste, especially when it comes to women”. He surely can’t be thinking of Bill Clinton’s wife, Tony Blair’s wife, Gerhardt Schröder’s wife, Jimmy Carter’s wife, Boredom Brown’s wife, Great Gore’s wife, Robert Kennedy’s foul and mad wife . . .

Saturday 5 April 2008

Clintons in clover


The Clintons have made 100,000,000 dollars in the past eight years. Doing nicely thank you, working away for the good of the poor.

Tuesday 1 April 2008

Olympic games

The European ruling class is saying it might not go out to play with the Chinamen unless the Chinamen are kinder to Tibetans. Tibetans furry minority, Chinamen non-furry majority, what could be simpler and more naive.