Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Mad dog bites deranged woman, dog dies

In his innocence, Frit is astonished to learn that there exists a charity, called Animal SOS Sri Lanka, which imports “street dogs” to Britain from Sri Lanka! These “suffering and dying” animals are presumably flown halfway round the world in aeroplanes to a country that is already full of stray dogs (around 10,000 put down each year by local authorities) and which is currently free of rabies.

As an act of gratitude, one of these creatures, sick with rabies, has now bitten the hand of the nitwit who fed it, who describes herself as “President and founder” of that charity, as well as the hands of two other nitwits. All three have received medical treatment at the taxpayer’s expense and are sadly not set to leave us soon. The dog itself was given assistance in leaving us, presumably also at the taxpayer’s expense. Also, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs assures the general public that “We are now tracing animals that have moved from the kennels to ensure that all animals that have come into contact with the puppy are monitored". It neglects to add “at the taxpayer’s expense”.

The Charities Commission appears to have gone bonkers in permitting this. Its website says that the stated “object” of Animal SOS Sri Lanka is: THE ALLEVIATION OF ANIMAL SUFFERING PARTICULARLY IN SRI LANKA (BUT NOT EXCLUSIVELY) FROM INJURY, SICKNESS, ILL-TREATMENT OR NEGLECT. The stated “area of benefit” is SRI LANKA and the stated “area of operation” is SRI LANKA. There is no mention of Britain and absolutely no mention of alleviating all that suffering by flying all those wretched creatures there.

Frit is now considering setting up a similar charity with the purpose of alleviating mental suffering on the part of the rest of us by rounding up all the deranged women in the western world and shipping them off to Sri Lanka to be bitten by as many mad dogs as they like. Of course, Frit will also be able to pay himself a good wage from the donations first. What a good scam!

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