Tuesday 2 June 2009

Marbles with Cyclops

Leafing through some dusty old papers recently, Frit learned that, when at school, unelected Prime Minster of Britain and expenses account fiddler Boredom Brown won a large marble from another boy in a game. As this was Brown’s only win in life, he was very fond of the marble and always slept with it beneath his pillow. Later on, when he poked out one of his own eyes with a stick in a fit of self loathing, he replaced it with his favourite old marble, and has worn it to this day. Of course, as has been recently discovered in the expenses account scandal, this didn’t stop him from charging the British taxpayer for dozens of very expensive new glass eyes per week, glass eyes that were never in fact purchased, and certainly not purchased from his brother. But, despite this revelation, despite the similar revelations concerning the rest of his government and despite the fact that support for his party has apparently fallen to less than 20%, with the British population overwhelmingly demanding immediate elections, Brown, after careful consideration, has decided not to stand down. His dedication to democracy, to the wishes of others and the needs of the country is too great!

Frit tracked down the three Scots lads pictured. They never let Brown play marbles with them. They claim he always cheated. Nor could they keep a straight face when confronted with those curious spasms of his mouthparts.