Monday, 23 June 2008

Great Zimbabwe

Why is everybody suddenly so fed up with Robert Mugabe? Robert Mugabe has always been a despicable racist communist mass murderer despot, but nobody ever took any notice until now. Just because he’s black. For the past thirty years he’s been trying really hard to attract the world’s attention to the fact that a black racist despot is the equal of any white one, entirely without success. His first provocative racist act upon seizing power (apart from the ethnic massacres) was to do away with the white man’s name for his country and rename it after a really not very advanced dry stone wall. But nobody protested. Unlike with Myanmar, they all played ball. As a consequence, the poor man has been forced, ever since, to systematically turn a once prosperous, organised country back into a mud hut in his attempts to gain some attention for his just cause. But everyone still just stood by, even gave him all sorts of accolades and awards.

In his exasperation at this wilful prejudice, Frit recently came up with the idea of marketing black tee-shirts with white lettering, saying “BLACK RACIST DESPOTS CAN BE EVERY BIT AS BAD AS WHITE ONES YOU KNOW, BE FAIR”. Too late, all and sundry (led by British Prime Minister Boredom Brown, such an awesome tiger of a man) are now suddenly fed up with Mugabe all at once, and the tee-shirts are not selling. Never mind, ever one to respond with speed to changing circumstances, eager to help a once promising country back onto its feet as well as prove, in turn, that a white man can be just as much a racist as a black one, Frit has now altered these into white tee-shirts with black lettering, reading “RHODESIA WE MISS YUH. KAFFER BAD GAFFER. BWANA COME BACK”.