Tuesday 7 April 2009

Social integration

In an earlier post, Frit registered his dislike of vegetarians. They are petty tyrants who expect you to cook without meat when they visit you but expect not to cook with meat when you visit them. This makes them pretty much like Methodists. Methodists expect you to wear a headscarf, eat asphyxiated sheep, drink no beer, blame the Jew for everything and treat your women like dogs etc. when you visit their country but expect not to do the opposite when they visit yours.

Frit, for instance, lived in Gaza for a time. By way of integration, he went about in a burka with a machinegun and some bullets superglued to his chest at all times. He married a local girl, beat her black and blue, forced her to beget seventeen children (at least half of which were brought up as suicide bombers), fired a rocket at an Israeli every morning and pigged out on United Nations halal food aid every night. This was true integration. Exclusively wearing Frit garb, exclusively associating with and exclusively breeding with other Frits, building his own Frit churches, eating his own Frit food would all have been inappropriate and the opposite of what integration is about. And as for insisting that the locals should all become Frits and do the same . . .

Methodists who can’t adapt to life in other people’s countries should go and enjoy life somewhere else. And take the vegetarians with them.